Soren's Obsession

Chapter Nine

I rolled over, falling to the ground. “What the f**k?” I guess that I must have fell asleep on the couch. Come to think of it. I didn’t really remember much from last night. Well, I do remember everything up until I came home and drank the entire bottle of liquor. Usually, when I drank liquor, I got into a lot of trouble. At least I wasn’t out somewhere while drinking. That could have ended badly.

Once I got up, I stumbled over to my phone, still feeling the effects of the alcohol in my system. I should probably get a cold shower in to help with the rest lingering around. I scrolled through my phone, finding no text or missed calls. Eve must still be pretty pissed at me, considering that she didn’t bother to call to check up on me. No biggie. I would just let her cool off a little and show up with some flowers, and then all would be forgiven. Besides, I think a little time away from my friends would do me some good.

The cold water ran down my body but did nothing to help me forget. Why couldn’t I have been drunk at the club when everything went down? All I could do now was replay it over in my head, even though I wanted to forget. At least I think that I want to forget.

After my body was nice and cooled off, I hopped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. Something was a little off when I stepped into the hall. I peeked around the corner, noticing that my front door was open. What the hell is going on? Honestly, I had no patience for a thief right now.

I stomped into the living room but stopped when I saw Eve and Joel standing close to the other side, furthest away from the front door. Yeah, this was to be expected. Leave it to Eve not to be able to keep a little kiss from her fiancé. It wasn’t like it meant anything. I just kissed her to try and help me forget.

Even though I wanted this fight, a smaller part of me wanted to take off running. Joel has always been good to me. He has gotten me out of multiple fights, gotten me out of jail, and even saved my ass from the brink of death a few times. What did I do to repay him? I kissed his f*****g girl and only felt a little bad about it.

“What’s up?” I asked, sounding casual as ever. It should have bothered me more than it did, but I was past the point of caring. It was like I wanted the world to suffer with me.

Joel didn’t even look at me as he said, “go put some damn clothes on. We need to talk, right now.”

I stared at Eve, hoping she would give me a sign about how pissed Joel was, but she didn’t bother to look at me either. I spun around and headed into my room to get dressed without saying anything. I threw a clean black tee over my head and put on some gym shorts. I didn’t really feel in the mood to work out later. I’d probably get my fair share of work out in just a few minutes, but we will see.

The second that I opened my door, Joel grabbed me and slung me across the room, making me hit my head against the kitchen counter. He pounded on me while I was down, which was low. He couldn’t even give me the chance to fight back. Well, not at first.

“You motherfucker! After everything that we have been through, you kiss my fiancé! Eve has been there for you like a sister, and you go and disrespect her like that?!” He welled on my face again, stopping for a short breath. “I thought that Eve was right, that you are scared, but I’m done protecting you. You have no respect for Eve or for me! The only thing that you have ever been able to do right is to care about yourself!”

I pushed him off me and tackled him to the ground. I punched him once and immediately stopped. It didn’t feel as exhilarating as I thought that it would. It didn’t make me feel alive. I still felt just as dead as I did seconds earlier.

“Guess what? You are right, Joel! I am a stupid son of a b***h. I am a motherfucker, or an asshole, whichever you prefer, but you are dead wrong thinking that you know anything about me! In our group, I was always the one singled out. You all thought I was some emotionless monster who only cared about getting laid. Did you ever stop to see that it was just a mask I put on to protect myself? No, you didn’t! Whenever you and Cole snapped your f*****g fingers, I was there to help clean up your messes. How many times were you there for me when I needed you, Joel?” I stood up and spat the blood swirling around in my mouth on the carpet. “Eve is the only one that I do respect out of the lot of you. I’ll admit that I f****d up last night, but I didn’t care. I still don’t! Every single one of you is happy. You all have someone that loves you regardless of your flaws. I don’t have a damn soul there for me, but you all never stop to think about that. You all call me the selfish one, but when we really break it down, I’m the only one here that isn’t a selfish prick.”

Joel stood up but didn’t immediately charge at me like I thought that he would. When he lifted his head to look at me, I could see the guilt that my words caused. “I’m sorry. I never stopped to think, but that still gives you no right to touch Eve the way that you did!”

I scoffed. He just wasn’t getting it. “Do you want to know a little secret?” I asked manically. “Eve is the only one out of our entire group that has stopped me from wanting to kill myself.” Eve gasped and looked up with tears falling down her cheeks. She was as judgmental as the rest of them, but I could never be upset with her. Never. “Why do you think that I never want to hang out with anyone anymore? I’m sick of staring at couples everywhere that I turn! All it does is remind me that I’m constantly alone. It doesn’t matter what I do. Everyone will always think of me this way. That’s it, right? I’m the guy that isn’t capable of having a meaningful relationship because I’m too f****d up in the head. I don’t respect women. At least that’s what you all think. You are right about one thing. I shouldn’t have touched Eve. I was hurting, and I tried to use her as a way to numb the pain, regardless of who I hurt in the process.” I was mentally and physically drained. All this arguing and screaming was too exhausting. “I’m sorry, but you two can leave now.”

Eve walked closer but still remained within a safe distance. I didn’t blame her for not being able to trust me. “You are not in a good place right now, Soren, but we can help you. I don’t want to leave you here by yourself. It isn’t good for you. You need your friend's support right now. I’ll call the entire gang in for this one. Bet that I won’t!”

“You won’t,” I remarked while turning away from her. “Did you listen to me at all? Seeing all of you together makes me sick. It makes the pain intolerable. From now on, all of you can just leave me the hell alone!”

I stormed off into my room, slamming the door shut and locking it. The last thing that I wanted was for any of them to follow me inside. This fight was over. I’m done spilling my emotions or pretending to be happy for all my friends. To be honest, I was sick of them all. Yay for them that they were all happy. Let them all be happy, far away from me. All I wanted was to be alone like I was destined to be.

“Don’t walk away from your friend, Joel!” Eve yelled. “Regardless of what he has done, he is hurting. I remember when you and I were in trouble, and Soren did think twice about jumping in to help us. I believe him when he says that he is sorry. In all the time we have been friends, he has never tried anything like that with me before. He only did it because Alana was a b***h to him. You just wait until I get my hands around her scrawny little neck!”

There was silence for a minute, and I pretended like I wasn’t listening, but I was secretly hanging onto every word the second that Alana’s name was mentioned.

“Babe, Soren needs to be alone right now. Trust me. I’ve known him a lot longer than you have. He will be fine in a couple of days. We have a wedding to prepare for. I’m not going to let him stop that from happening.”

“Well, then I’m going to stop it.” I could imagine Eve crossing her arms over her chest right about now. I appreciated her wanting to help, but I didn’t need nor did I want it. “I refuse to do anything wedding-related until we have helped Soren. You didn’t see him last night, Joel. He was hurt.”

“Yeah? Well, I don’t give a f**k. Because of him, you have to get your dress realtered this close to the wedding because he bruised your leg severely. Listen, I feel for him, but I’m not going to stop living my life because he wants to act out like a damn child.”

There it was. Silence again. It worried me thinking that Joel might be out there doing something to hurt her, but I know that Joel loved her unconditionally and would never do something like that. He practically worshipped the ground that she walked on.

“Do this for me then. Do this for us and our future because I refuse to have one without Soren there. He will be there at our wedding, or I won’t be. You decide on what you want more.”

Eve was a feisty woman. Joel had to have a lot of patience and strength to deal with her twenty-four seven. Still, you had to appreciate that she didn’t give up. Even when I talked horribly to her, she still stood by me, trying to protect me. That’s why I loved her, just as friends, of course.

A second later, there was a knock at my door. “Soren, why don’t you come out so that we can talk about this?”

It was official. Joel was whipped as hell, and strangely, I believe he preferred it that way. However, I knew that he only knocked on my door to try and make Eve happy. There wasn’t a slight part of him that took me seriously at all.

“f**k off already!”

Joel busted through my door, walking over to me and punching me square in the face with every bit of power that he had. With that and the little bit of alcohol that I consumed still coursing through me made me feel extremely dizzy.

“What are you doing?!” Eve screamed as she ran into the room.

“Helping. Trust me. What Soren needs is an intervention from his friends. We are never going to get him there while he is conscious. You wanted me to care. This is me caring, babe.”

He smiled and hit me again even harder. It’s been a long time since someone knocked me out, but I still remembered what it felt like, and just for a moment, I felt free of pain. I tried to stay awake as long as possible just to keep the feeling, but after the fifth blow to my face, my body had enough and gave out.