The Missing Beta

Chapter 18

~’A’~

I stand in the office, not too far from the two men seated across the desk. It’s a weird feeling, to say the least. In another life, another version of myself was close to both of these men. I stand here now, not really knowing what to say or how to act.

King stands and steps away from the chair he was sitting in. He looks at me and motions to the chair. I watch him walk to the desk's other side and sit. I exhale and take the chair offered to me. Yeah, this is less awkward.

A throat clears, breaking my attention, which I had on the ground around my feet. “Yeah, I’m just going to talk. I mean, I highly doubt things could get any more awkward than they already are.” He turns to me and has a magnetic smile on his face. “It’s fu.cking good to see you right now. I’ve missed your ass. I won’t go into a whole thing about why I haven’t been by yet. I’ve been doing what everyone else has been doing, trying to give you time to accumulate.” He leans over and extends his hand. “Dominic Hargrove.” I accept his hand and give it a tight shake before releasing it.

“I’m sorry. I-” I turn to King sitting, watching us. “I just don’t know what to say. This entire situation is beyond awkward. I haven’t known what to say to you, so I’ve been keeping my distance. I did go see you, but you were asleep. I had to see for myself that you were really back. I missed my best friend, man.” A slight smile graces my face. I let my head fall back as I try to gather my thoughts. If anyone were to assume that I’m being dramatic, I can tell them unequivocally that they have no idea how fu.cking hard this is. It’s so hard to know that you’re supposed to know people, supposed to know facts about yourself, but your mind draws a blank. It’s sad and frustrating as hell.

I let my head drop back to eye level, trying to smash down all the emotions threatening to take over. “Look, you two not coming to see me, that’s okay. I’ve just been trying to come to terms with my life such as it is. I’m still trying to figure out who the hell I am and what I’ve gone through.” I shake my head, practically marvelling at how fu.cked up my life is right now. “I’m just trying to figure it all out in the best way possible.”

Dominic leans in closer to me. “Did you remember what happened to you?”

“Dom?!”

“What? We were both thinking it. I’m just the cheeky muthafu.cka who will voice it.” I can’t help the chuckle that escapes my lips. I swear this feels familiar; it feels like I’ve dealt with this before. “Uh, I’m sorry. I’m just a cheeky ass bastard.”

“No, I- This feels familiar. I feel like I’ve been through this before.”

“What this asshole, yeah you have. Goddess! It’s been the three of us for so long. It was fu.cking weird when you disappeared. I know everything won’t be like it was, but I hope we can get back to a comfortable place among all of us.”

“I’d like that. Oh, and congratulations, I guess.” Dominic and King both look at me with confusion. “You and Katarina are getting married, right.” King rubs the back of his head and looks uncomfortable. “What?” I look between the two, trying to decipher the change in the mood.

“I’m sorry about that. We thought we’d never see you again.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s just that you and she, well-” I hold a hand up to stop him.

“I have a feeling that you are about to tell me that she and I used to be together or liked each other or I liked her or whatever. I really don’t want to know about it. I have way too much to untangle in my head as it is; I don’t want to add to that. I just want to take one day at a time. Just let me reserve the right to punch the sh.it out of you if my memories lead me down that path.” King throws his head back and laughs.

“Agreed, man. You have my permission if that’s where it leads.” I nod, and we fall into a light banter together. I don’t remember everything, but this feels good. If this is what our friendship was about in the past, I would love to rebuild it for the future.

~Chandra~

The shrill sound of a ringing phone is enough to make me want to pull my hair out. I was up working in the lab practically all night. The only thing I wanted was to rest for the day and recharge.

I reach over and grab the phone. I connect the call but don’t speak. “So? Did you see him? Does he remember anything?” I sit up quickly, leaning back against the headboard. I definitely didn’t want to hear from him anytime soon.

“Uh, yeah.” I clear my throat and try to clear my mind. “I saw him, and he remembers nothing.”

“You better make sure it stays that way.”

“I don’t know what I can do. He’s on packlands. It isn’t like I have unlimited access or anything.”

“YOU BETTER FIGURE IT THE FU.CK OUT!” He’s breathing heavily on the phone. “Let me remind you that if he remembers anything, it won’t just be my life that’s on the line. I will take you down with me; make no mistake about that.” The call disconnects before I can respond, but it’s probably for the best. I don’t need to be reminded about the consequences that are hanging over my head with all of this. I don’t know how, but I have to figure out how to keep Aston from remembering what happened to him.