Detective Dickson 5 : Existential Pandemic

Home Sucks

d**k sat in the palace located in teras(that's the name of the place in the Molkion box dimension) it appeared he was in a conference room where all the chairs were in a round notion, his close family and friends too were there neglecting the children. d**k looked around the room, everyone was happy to see him, he didn't feel much as he had been constantly seeing them.

Tommy, Sarah and Lefinna were not present, they had gone to attend to other details, since d**k's demise, Lefinna had been in charge of the private eye agency that d**k established, she was out solving a little case while Tommy had to stay late at work, he was still a captain in the police force.

Sarah on the other hand had to babysit her nine year old son, Rudy.

"I will be the first to begin, where have you been" Alucard begins.

"Sourcing for p***y" d**k replies nonchalantly in a sarcastic tone before he changed the expression on his face

"f*****g come on, y'all, I have been visiting occasionally these past few months, I know all about the developments, seen y'all trying to preserve the peace in the multiverse, I even dropped presents for your birthdays and f*****g hell, all of y'all still taught I was having picnic with the underground soil."

"So those new shoes were from you?" Alma asks.

"You mean the titanium designed with the nexrian built one, then hell f*****g yeah, I also got that handbag for Kathy, the one she uses to go to these lame ass cinemas that my buddy, Danny runs here, also you, I got that top of the notch guardian cloak which amplifies your magic output exponentially, I got Ron and Reg those fur lotions, helps with cleansing creatures such as you, also, I got Kari and Mari those two spellbooks on Dragonic magic, I knew that's what the two ladies wanted, regarding Shylock, I got you that big ass dildo, Iri told me how you kept whining like a baby as she bastardized that asshole of yours" d**k ends with a mild laugh, he was clearly annoyed, the looks on everyone's face had changed to surprise except Shylock who had an overwhelming look of dread and fear on his face.

"I thought you got it for me" Katharina says as she gives Redoulp a resounding slap.

"How about me?" Alucard says sternly in his direction.

"Your birthday was on f*****g April one, who do you think played that phenomenal prank on you?" d**k grins.

"You mean the one where I was tricked that everyone was dead and I was stuck in a world full of garlic and crucifixes, you damned mortal" Alucard flares up.

"Yep, that's the one, turns out you dislike garlic but crosses sure don't do Jack s**t" d**k laughs heartily

"But damn, your facial expression was gold, I took pics of your horrified face and distributed it across multiple universes, dude, I have bloomed your popularity."

"You damned mortal" Alucard snarls in anger as he launches for d**k but he was constrained by Ron and Reg.

"That's sweet and all, the presents you gave us all but how did you escape, we couldn't trace your soulic energy signature or find any form of your spirit awareness, we were so sure you were a goner" Redoulp says in his direction.

"Come on, I am the D, that shadow nigga didn't stand a chance against my undeniable awesome and magnificent self, I intentionally hid it, I wanted y'all to smoke his ass, I was tired of doing the main work all the time, it was high time I let my students prove their worth" d**k ends in a haughty tone.

"You really are so full of yourself" Katharina says indignantly.

"Not exactly, I am the most humble guy I know, truth be told, it was thanks to me y'all were able to defeat Meggy, I figured out his personality from the trial he sent me to, I passed the information down to Leffy and Marcy, it was easy, you see, we didn't need to kill him to win, we just needed him to see our determination and passion, there were no heroes in his days, no one was selfless, all everyone gave a s**t about was themselves, our mutual gee just wanted someone who was different, someone who could show the world he'd always be there to fight Injustice, that's why he didn't wipe the events from our memories the way Aze did, he hoped our actions could inspire others to stand up and fight for what's right" d**k grins.

"That is that but Marcy already told us that" Redoulp began

"The real question we wanna is, how did you escape his clutches and how were you able to hide your energy signature and Spirit awareness."

"Yes man, how did you do it?" Ron asks.

"Slow down there, big wolf, you gonna be getting married to the lovely Kari tomorrow, trust me, you'd need all the energy you can if you want that day to be memorable, seen you two go at it" d**k's cheerful expression as his face now wore worry before changing it back to a confident gaze.

"Anyways that's that, when I told y'all how much I cared and all those crap, as Meglor began to take away my soul, the concept of time became utterly meaningless, I was in a world, y'all weren't there, just Meglor and I but yet I was still powerless and he was still removing my soul but the words I told you, how much love I felt, how I wanted to survive just to be with y'all, have fun, see Ron and Kari get married, watch my wife and kids caused my body to upgrade, I gained two abilities instantly, perfect stealth and perfect replica, perfect stealth enabled me to mask my mind, soul, spirit and everything about me in such a way that it appeared like I had been erased from existence, I wouldn't exactly call it existence Erasure cause y'all could still remember me but it satisfied the remaining conditions, everything else about me had apparently vanished like as if I was gone forever but a being as intelligent as Meggy wouldn't just fall for that crap, he's been alive for millions of years, I couldn't underestimate his intelligence, perfect replica enabled me to do a perfect clone of myself which had my exact strength, abilities, memories, soul, spirit and all, it was exactly like the original, I was able to put one in my stead in the world where the concept of time was completely inconsequential."

"Wow, and you survived like that" Mari says amazed.

"Not exactly, after Meggy thought he killed me, we was back where y'all were, there was a problem, if I moved, I would interfere with the atoms and molecules in the air, the microscopic organisms, any move I made would alter the universal stability not in any drastic away but Meg is omnipresent, he'd notice that something unseen was interacting with things and creatures so I just had to chill there till Meggy was goodbye but unfortunately the guy wanted to wipe out the entire universe, as he ascended and stretched forth his hand, he wiped everything but turns out perfect stealth had one more quirk" d**k ends with a proud grin.

"And what is it?" Mari asks.

"Makes me completely immune to existence Erasure."

Dick arrived back at home, the rest of the meeting had gone completely uneventful, they were trying to catch up but there was nothing for he to catch up on since he knew everything that had been happening and since it was late at night, past 11pm, they had all gone to their respective abodes

"Darling, I see you are still awake" d**k begins as he enters the bedroom, Sarah wore a black transparent velvet dress as she laid on the bed in an alluring position.

"I really missed you, you know" Sarah began.

"I know you did" d**k says as he disappears and reappears right before her

"Where's Rudy?"

"Asleep" Sarah answers as she plants a kiss on his lips, her lips were just like ever, totally hot and full of intensity, d**k kissed back fiercely as he removes his jacket and his inner shirt.

As the intensity of the s****l entanglement increased, a beam of unknown substance shoots across the room towards Sarah but d**k vibrating his arm as fast as he could was able to put it in such a state that the molecules which were bonded in order to give his arm the shape it had had achieved a frequency and wavelength above even the light of speed, it was so high that it enabled his hands to maintain the wavelength and frequency of any dimensional stability, in order words, he could now touch intangible objects like gas, light rays, ghosts, souls, spirits and any thing from any dimension at all. Not that his body has given him that ability, he simply applied his physical knowledge to the abilities he already possessed he grabbed the beam but turns out that whosever sent it banked on it as it turned out that it was a form of soul attack as he could feel tremendous pain internally, d**k winces in pain as the beam dissolves forcing him to drop away from the top of his wife to the ground. Sarah alarmed sat up as she quickly scanned the whole room.

"JELLY O" Sarah shouts aloud, two indestructible and invisible bubbles cover her and her husband who was still wincing with pain on the floor

"Who is there?" Sarah says aloud as white runes appear on the palms of her hands.

"Let's say an old friend of your d**k, someone who he did personal things with" came a feminine voice as she walked to the room where the light was now cast on her and her feminine features were highlighted, the brunette hair, green emerald eyes, heart shaped red full lips and a body that belonged to that of an average teenager, d**k instantly recognised who that was, it was the girl he had seen running from those two cyborg cops back in that universe but there was something wrong, she had a red left eye but that had gone, also she wasn't dressed as a scrawny ghetto teenager, she wore whitish and golden robes and the robe, there was only one place he had seen that dressing before, Celestial city but how come he didn't have much memories regarding this female, was it that she sucked while they were f*****g or what.

"d**k, can't you just keep your d**k in check" Sarah says angrily at her husband's direction

"And you had to do it with a teenager, have you no shame."

"I really don't recall anything happening with us but I don't think she's here to have more of my d**k" d**k grins but the unbearable pain causes that smile to vanish from his face as he grimaces aloud.

"What did you do to him?" Sarah says annoyed at the unknown female.

"It's a simple attack but it attacks a creature's soul, an alpha humans only weakness he won't be getting out of that any time soon" she ends with a sinister smile

"He's going to suffer to the vile humiliation he put me through, I can never forgive him."

"C.mon, I'd never f**k a girl without her own volition" d**k says aloud

"And you should be honored you got a taste of my D."

"I will show you honor" the female says angrily as she disappears and reappears above d**k.

"I gotta tell you, dear, I am sorta back with my wife and I don't cheat so you just gotta keep those urges in check, love" d**k grins at her even with the unfathomable pain which still plagued his body.

"I am impressed you can still joke with the beam of agony in your system, well, I should expect no less from the mortal who caused me to forsake my heavenly way of life" She says as she crouches down to meet his eye gaze.

"Darling" Sarah screams as she launches forward to the woman but the woman stretched her right arm forward but she could feel a barrier.

"That's an impressive shield, I am impressed a mortal could come up with such a potent spell, the durability of this shield will need power and energy far greater than infinity to shatter but I am an angel, destroying values above infinity is pretty basic" she ends with a mild smile as a white light envelops the arm she was using to hold the barrier causing it shatter and sends Sarah flying backward in the air as she hits the wall vehemently, she smiles as she turns towards d**k.

"Something doesn't check out, the green god servant said even angels find it hectic lifting octodecillion of tons and that's no where close to infinity" d**k mutters out.

"Ooh, you mean that impatient infant, he has never even set foot in the celestial city, he tends to speak a lot of fallacies, demons are forbidden from entering Elysium, now as I destroy you, I want you to remember the pleasure we both shared together" she ends with a sinister smile as white light envelopes her hands.

"No offense, doll face but I don't recall getting some coochy from you, I have f****d billions of different p*****s, it's sorta hard keeping tabs" d**k says with an uncomfortable grin.

"Such insolence" she snarls as her face changes, it was now contorted with hatred, orange light now fills her arm as she grabs d**k, for the first time since d**k was born or for as long as he could remember, he screamed, it wasn't one of pleasure, it was a pain beyond comprehension and words, something that he just couldn't keep it in as it ate at his very soul.

"Don't even think of using perfect replica or perfect stealth, the beam I shot earlier completely blocks out every form of ability, you are completely defenseless" she smiles cruelly.

"I was counting on that" d**k manages to blurt out as Lefinna appears behind and shoots rays of silver light towards the stranger sending her sprawling backwards.

"Now abilities don't just refer to physical strength, speed or other arsenal that normal humans don't posses, it's an ability to be able to eat, drink or even do anything at all" d**k begins grinning

"By completely blocking out my ability, you also blocked out my essence and Leffy here is sure picky about that ever since I communicated telepathically I have returned, she'd never want me to leave."

"Good to see you too" Lefinna smiles at him

"Are you alright?"

"I will live" d**k grins

"Check out my wife, I think she's hurt?"

As Lefinna moved, she collapses to the ground immediately.

"What the f**k?" d**k says as he turns over to where Lefinna's body lay but the female now stood where she was.

"You must have really forgotten alot, don't you remember my abilities" she smiles at d**k.

"Why did I f**k the wrong p***y? d**k thinks, his face clearly was full of fear

"Ooooh yeah, I remember you, damn girl, you was exhilarating, you were the maddest I have ever been with, the way you moved those spectacular hips and thighs, you make twister games so jealous" d**k says aloud trying to force a smile on his face.

"Really" the girl says, her face was all lit up with smiles but she quickly regains her composure as her face returns to normal

"And what's my name?"

"What the f*****g f**k, how am I supposed to know your name" d**k thinks frantically, sweat was appearing from all over his face

"Let's hope mama luck is on my side but she's an angel, dang I ain't familiar with angelic crap but I know Christianity is very inclined to this stuff, I think I can remember a Christian name, I am sure it should be an angel."

"Jeze... Jezebel" d**k says uncomfortably.

The female just stared at d**k, if looks could kill, d**k would have had more than an epic death, she kept fuming with unfathomable anger

"Of all names to call me, it's Jezebel, do you think I am f*****g slut?"

"Ooh s**t" d**k thinks

"I thought all biblical names were angelic."

"I have had it with your absurdity, it's time to rid of you" She says as she placed her right arm which was enveloped with green energy on d**k but he didn't scream, he just fell unconscious.

"You slut" came Sarah's aggravated voice, her body was shining with purple lighting and her hair was glowing with fire, it was another spell Sarah developed to give her the strength of Alucard, speed of Tommy and endurance of Katharina with the magical reserve and potency of Redoulp, she had required parts of their soulic energy for it, the female angel turned towards the enraged wife.

"You are one clever mortal, another exceptional spell, I now see what this mortal saw in you" the stranger smiles.

"You b***h, you don't ask the questions, I do" Sarah says coming forward

"Now, what the f**k did you do to my husband?"