Beautiful Hearts

That special feeling

Emaline

This time I didn't call him before school. I decided to give him time to calm down. I didn't feel well and realized that I had hardly eaten these days, so I decided to come up with rules to follow. By noon I was drinking only coffee, and then I sat down to eat properly, choosing a simple salad with a little meat. I expected Tony to push me away again, so I was a ball of nerves.

I decided to focus on the lesson and talk to him after class, but he never came. As I was packing up and getting ready to leave, I heard laughter, and when I turned around I saw Andy standing with a boy I didn't know and talking to him, looking at me at the same time. As I was about to leave the room, Andy came and deliberately bumped into me.

"Careful, you hit like a truck." Both he and his friend began to laugh out loud. I was about to move past him when I saw Dec at the door, glaring at the laughing boys. He looked so angered that I was worried about what would happen and when Dec started walking towards them without taking his angry eyes off the two, I blocked his way.

"Dec, please!"

He glanced at me, carefully caught me by the shoulders, pushing me aside, and then kept going.

When the boys saw him, Andy shouted Scott's name. The latter came just as Dec grabbed Andy by the collar.

"Hey, man, let him go!" Scott tried to free Andy from Dec's grip but to no avail. Dec pushed him aside with one hand and brought his face closer to Andy's.

"If I hear that you're still picking on her, I'll crush you like a bug." And he threw him against the wall. Then he turned and left the room without looking at me.

He was wonderful. I had two great guy friends and I hurt them both. I still didn't know what the problem was with Tony, but I was less and less willing to follow Lana's rules. Dec didn't deserve not to know the reason I distanced from him. But I knew that if I told him, I would cause them problems.

As I walked to the bus stop I saw their group again, they also noticed me. All were glaring at me, but Dec wasn't among them. I took out my phone and started typing.

"Are you alright?"

"I am. Are you?"

"Yes." I wanted to say more…

Honestly, I didn't even imagine another day like that, what's left for more. I had to talk to him or I would go crazy.

When I got home I received a message from the center informing me that the lesson with Austin would not take place tomorrow because he was ill. I went into my room and quickly dealt Dec's number. He answered almost immediately but at the same time, someone knocked on my door and when I opened it I saw Kate. I nodded and she came inside.

"Em? What is it?" Dec's voice was worried.

"They just told me that Austin isn't feeling well? How is he?"

He was quiet for a few seconds and I saw Kate making gestures, asking me who it was. I mouthed that it was Dec and her face went blank.

"It's not that bad, don't worry. If you can, he'll be ready for a lesson on Friday or Saturday? It's just a virus."

"Oh, of course. Text me when he's feeling better and I'll call the center."

"Ok."

"Bye, Dec."

I had to wait a few seconds for his answer. "Bye, Em."

I put my phone on my desk and looked at Kate's angry face.

"Before you say something stupid, I don't like Declan. No matter what you think. He's just a friend. And I would never ignore Tony or you for someone else."

She looked more relaxed now but didn't leave the subject.

"I'm worried about Tony."

"I'm worried about him too. Especially when you're not telling me the reason he's acting like that."

She stared at me and then spilled the beans. "He likes you."

"I know. I like him too. No, I love him but..."

"Em! He.likes.you."

When I realized what she meant, my eyes widened in horror.

"Oh, crap." Kate read my feelings correctly and sat on the bed with a sad expression. "Don't get me wrong. Just because he likes you doesn't mean you have to like him too. I was just hoping... It would have been easier..."

I sat next to her on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"For how long?"

"Year?"

I looked at her in amazement.

"Don't look at me like that. I told him to tell you earlier, but he was afraid it would ruin your friendship."

Now I was afraid of the same thing. Tony liked me. It happened to me for the first time - to know that someone likes me. But... I still looked at him as my brother...

"What should I do?" I wasn't really asking her. I was thinking out loud.

"I don't know. But you better think of something because this would affect me as well."

"What do you mean?"

"I love both of you and I don't want to have to choose."

"To choose? Are you serious?"

"I know what would happen if you both stop communicating. One of you will start to get angry that I'm seeing the other. And you'll both be careful with me, thinking I'm spying for the other."

I laughed. "Oh, stop. We're not in the kindergarten anymore."

She kept looking at me with worried eyes. "Kate, I don't plan on losing Tony. I'd figure it out."

"You better."

The rest of my evening with her was enjoyable, and we avoided talking about Tony and Dec. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Tony liked me. For a whole, long year. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel but even though I didn't like him the same way, it was a good feeling to know that someone thought of you that way. I know that made me selfish, but…

If it was up to me, I'd rather everything to be the same as it was before he started to like me. I'd rather he didn't feel that way. But that didn't change the fact that it was the first time I understood what it was like to feel special to someone.

Now I had to find a way to keep our friendship without hurting him...