Cheated and Pregnant (editing)

15

It was later that morning when I woke up watching the early day news that I felt the effect of what I have done.

I was too emotional to think at the moment. They didn't deserve to live. I hate people that hurt me. I hate people that use me. I hate people that lie to me and those two did all the things I hate about a person.

How could I have forgiven and forgotten about what they did to me? But without that on my mind all I feel is guilt. This time it wasn't self defense I did it on my own out of rage and jealousy.

I was very emotional but that's not what made me kill them. He proposed to her, he was going to get married to her when I will be alone and pregnant.

I will be carrying his baby while he gets married to my ex best friend. I would look stupid. Someone once told me that she was a home wrecker but I didn't believe them until she wrecked my relationship.

The next thing that made me pull the trigger was the fact that I was reminded of my teenage years with my step dad.

I was reminded of that girl whose life was taken from her and the closest thing she could have to a family accused her of a crime she didn't commit.

I was reminded of that experience that no child should go through, that no one should experience. She sent me back to that those years when I was abused and r***d. To the years when I have to go to therapist after therapist.

The years when I am constantly reminded of the situation that I was in until I killed him.

When I told Tia my story that was the first time I have talked about it in years. It wasn't a good memory to dig up and talk about but best friends don't keep secrets from each other and I trusted her.

"Breaking news just in..." The lady on the TV announced. "Neighbor showed their concern and worry for their and the person living in the house safety after gunshot was supposedly fired in the night. They called the police to report two rounds of fire and a car leaving... On police arrival the house was free of any threat but two person was found dead upstairs. It is said that the police has no suspect at this point in the case. Tune in at noon for more information. In other relating news..."

I switched off the TV got my things and left that room. I signed out and hopped into my car and drove off putting more distance between me and the crime scene.

How long will I run? How far will I go before they catch me? Not far from what I have learnt from all these murder case they always catch the killer and I'm just a killed two people without thinking much on it. I'm not a serial killer so I don't know how to get away with crime like this.

But I'm not that different from them. I should have never woke up in the hospital and went home. I shouldn't have shot anyone but I can't change that now they are already dead, I'm already on the run.

I know I will have to ditch this car soon but what will I use to get around.

This is my plan for today. Go to the back my a withdrawal, figure my mode of transportation, and where I am going to lie low. I know I can't keep this up forever but I can try for the child.

The child. How am I going to live on the run with a child growing inside of me? I know that sooner or later I would need to do some check up.

How am I in this situation? Hours ago I was so excited about yesterday. To celebrate my relationship with Josh and it all ended with me killing him and my best friend.

I killed them both but I still can't believe I did it. That I pressed the trigger and shot him in the chest and I pressed it again and shot her in the head.

They instantly die when the bullet pierce through their skin and hit an important organ. One to the heart and the other to the brain. I didn't mean to but I did it. I shot them and now they are dead. I left them bleeding blooding up the carpet and the sheet.  Blood splashed on the walls.

Dead eyes. Cold body. Thud. The sound of a dead cold body with dead eyes dropping to the ground. The repetition of a g*n going off, each time the sound getting louder and louder.

Dead eyes. Cold body. Thud. Dead. I killed my best friend and boyfriend. I pressed the trigger. I killed them. I'm a killer. I'm a murder. I deserve to go to jail. I deserve to die with them. A bullet pressing through my skin with the speed after it was released from ths g*n when the trigger was pressed.

I swing the car off of the road and stopped it. I rest my head on the staring and try to calm down my mind, slow down my breathing and get my heart to beat normal. I screamed in that car hitting the staring wheel.

They don't deserve to die. I deserve to die because I killed two innocent people. I killed them. I was the one who pressed the trigger.

They made me do it. They made me kill them. They made me pull the trigger. They were the one who made me thought that there was an intruder. They were the one that made me take up that g*n. They made me use it.

They hurt me. They made me feel the way I never wanted to feel. The way my step dad treated me. He used me and at that moment they both used me. They both lied to me. If he had done it with someone else the pain would have never been so great as it was then.

It was all that they have done, what she had spill that night in that room that I killed them made me do it. He had that look on his face when he found out what was buried inside my closet. The only time that he looked at me different is when he heard the history.

If not he would have judged me differently. He didn't even think for a second or a minute he just assumed that I slept with my step dad with consent.

How could he think or even imagine that I would have been intimate with the man that raised me.

Disgusting. She just made thinking difficult for me as I am constantly reminded now of where I am coming from, who I am. Now I'm scared.

There was a point in my life where I had been in that same house living with my step dad. I was reminded of the times he would beat me sick.

I was up all night waiting for him to come home from work. It was already 1 am. I know I should be in my bed sleeping but I couldn't go to sleep if he is not home as yet and he haven't called me since 5 in the evening. I'm worried. I have left voicemail after voicemail on his phone since 9 pm.

I was sitting in the living room practically in the dark because I had turned off the lights and retired to my bed hours ago but I came back down when I called his phone but he wasn't answering.

So I was waiting for him in the dark to finally get home. I must have dosed off because I woken up by a car driving in the driveway and the lights shining inside the living room. I was more awake when the car door slammed shut.

I rubbed my eyes and straighten in the chair that I was sleeping in and listen to the rustling of keys and the front door opening. He was trying to enter as quiet as he could but be isn't lucky tonight because I'm not upstairs.

I waited until he was at the first steps leading upstairs before I said anything to him to let him know of my presence.

"And where are you coming from this hour in the morning?" I asked from the darkness of the living room.

He paused midstep and look towards where the voice was coming from. If the lights were on I could see him furrowing his brow.

"Rosie you're up?" He said from his position.

"No I'm sleeping and you're hallucinating." I replied with sarcasm. I listen to his footsteps as he walks towards me. He turns on the light and I squint my eyes at the brightness.

"Why aren't you in bed sleeping?" He asked and frown looking at me.

Is he for serious asking me questions why I am up this late. I should be doing the interrogation not him. He's the one coming home late at two in the morning.

"I should be the one asking questions not you, you're the one coming in at home at two in the morning. Where have you been? I've been calling you're phone and all I hear was the voicemail tone. I called you so many times. Why haven't you picked up your phone or return my calls. I was worried sick but it seems to me that you are fine and I was worried for nothing." I rant getting up pacing the room.

"Rosie calm down and stop the pacing. What were you worried about?" He said watching me pace.

"What was I worried about?" I asked in disbelief. Is he for real. What was I worried about. Let me check. He said he'll be home by 5 in the evening and for hours I waited. When I realized he wasn't coming home and he didn't call me to tell me he would be home late. I called and I called but nothing. I left voicemail after voicemail but nothing. I even texted him a couple of times but it was as useless as the rest because I didn't get a response from him. The only answer I got was from my own mind and that was dangerous because nothing good ever came to it. I was think all sort of bad stuff had happened to him.