Painless

Chapter 1

My room is baby-proofed. Hindi na ako nagtaka kasi alam ko naman yung kondisyon ko. Hindi ako kagaya ng mga normal na tao. My dad told me that I am unique, that I am special. Alam kong sinasabi niya lang yun para gumaan yung loob ko. I don't want him to worry so I bought it.

Bigla nalang nag-alarm yung alarm ko kaya dali-dali akong bumangon mula sa pagkahiga. 5:00 pm, the most anticipated time of the day. Dali-dali akong lumapit sa bintana ng kwarto ko. And right on time, andun siya. Naglalakad pauwi sa bahay nila.

Stanley Richards.

Araw-araw akong nakaabang sakaniya simula pagpasok niya sa school, hanggang sa pag-uwi niya. Bagong lipat sila ng family nila. Last week pa. Pero kahit kailan ay hindi ko naisipang magpakilala sakanya. Natatakot ako na kapag nalaman niya yung kondisyon ko, baka lalayo siya.

At that small amount of time, I began feeling something towards him. Creepy man pakinggan but I watched him play with his dog and his 5-year old brother. Mahilig din siyang mag basketball. One time dinala niya yung mga kaibigan niya sa bahay nila. They played basketball at humanga ako sa galing niya. Plus, gwapo din siya. Sinong hindi hahanga sa kanya?

It was the highlight of my day. Seeing him walking pass my house made my day. Alam kong hanggang dito lang ako. Imposible namang makilala niya ako. My dad wont allow me to go out. It would be very dangerous.

"How's my Angel?"

Speaking of my Dad, I heard his voice from the door so I looked around and saw him smiling from ear to ear.

"Dad!"

Dali-dali akong lumapit sakanya at yumakap. I may not feel pain, but I can feel the embrace of a hug.

"How was school?"

"Okay lang Dad," sabi ko nalang at natahimik. I am actually homeschooled. My dad don't want me to take that risk to be enrolled in a university. Masyadong crowded.

"What's wrong?" nag-alalang tanong niya.

"Wala naman po. It's just that, I want to be like the others. Gusto ko pong maranasan na mag-aral sa isang paaralan. I want to socialize."

Nababagot na ako dito sa loob ng silid ko. Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang magbasa at tanawin si Stanley mula sa bintana. Gusto kong lumabas! Gusto kong pumunta ng beach o di kaya sa carnival!

"Anak, alam mo namang hindi pwede, diba?"

"Opo. Alam ko naman po yun. Hindi ko lang po mapigilan ang sarili kong isipin 'yan."

"I'm sorry that you can't do all of that. Ayoko lang mawala ka sa akin. You know I lost your Mom. I can't bare losing you too."

We fell into a deep silence. My mom. I never met her, but I know if she’s still here, she would be a great mother.

"What was she like?" I asked, out of the blue.

"Who?"

"Mom," pag-uulit ko. "What was she like?"

My dad let out a sad smile. Nakita ko sa mga mata niya kung gaano niya namiss si Mommy. Siguro kung naabutan ko si Mommy, mamimiss ko din siya. Pero kahit hindi ko siya nakilala, mahal na mahal ko siya.

"She's what any man could ever wish for. Sobrang bait niya. She took care of you while you were still inside her womb. Hindi lilipas ang isang araw na hindi ka namin pag-uusapan. She was so excited to see you. That is why we named you after her. You look exactly like your mother. Kaya tuwing nakikita kita, naaalala ko Mommy mo,” sadness was visible in his voice.

Sa aming dalawa, paniguradong mas nasasaktan si Daddy. He loved her so much and he still does. I couldn’t imagine how my dad moved on while raising me. It must be so hard.

"Mas masaya siguro Dad kung nandito si Mommy no?"

"I'm not doubting it."

Nag-usap lang kami ni Daddy. Dalawa lang kami sa bahay. Dad is still working though, while looking after me. He talked to his boss na dito nalang niya gagawin sa bahay yung trabaho niya. Mabuti nalang at pumayag naman yung boss niya. So his work is home-based. We stayed like that for awhile bago tumayo si Daddy.

"Well. Ihahanda ko lang yung hapunan natin. Just go down when you're hungry," tumayo siya saka ako nilingon.

"Sure Dad," ngiti ko.

Nginitian muna ako ni Daddy bago isinara yung pinto. Napatingin ako sa veranda dito sa kwarto ko. Madilim na pala? Hindi ko namalayan ma madilim na pala. Lumabas ako sa veranda at sinalubong ng napakaraming bituin. Pinagmasdan ko nalang ang nagniningning na kalangitan.

I know you're watching over me Mommy.

Oo. Sinisisi ko ang sarili ko sa pagkamatay ng Mommy ko. Kung hindi dahil sa akin, buhay pa si Mommy. Mas pipiliin ko pang ako ang namatay keysa sakanya. I am useless anyway. Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang magkulong sa bahay. Isa akong pabigat kay daddy. Nakakalungkot isipin pero yun yung totoo.

“Hi,” someone disturbed my train of thoughts.

Napahinto ako. I know that voice. Hindi ako dapat magkamali. Ang boses na yun na nakakapagpasabik sa akin tuwing maririnig ko yun. Dahan-dahan akong lumingon hanggang sa nagtama yung mga mata namin.

It's Stanley! At nakangiti siya sa akin! I don't know what to react. Nakatayo siya veranda ng silid niya! Gusto kong tumakbo papasok sa silid ko but I can't. Natulala ako sa ngiti niya. I know that he looks damn handsome with his smile but I didn't know that he's more appealing when he smiles at me this close!

"Hindi ko alam na may kapit-bahay pala ako," he smiled again. s**t! There he goes again with his smile! "May I know your name?"

"A-Ah. I'm D-Danielle," nauutal kong sagot.

"Hi Danielle. So, how long have you lived here?" tanong niya.

"S-Since I was born," I replied, wanting to go back inside and hide. Gosh! This is embarrassing!

"Really?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya. "Bakit hindi kita nakilala agad? We just moved here last week."

"I'm not the friendly type," sagot ko nalang.

"Hmm. I see,” tango niyan “D-Did I just disturbed you?"

"W-What? No. No,” pakurap-kurap yung mga mata ko at hindi ko alam yung nararamdaman ko ngayon. “Okay lang," I bit my lower lip.

"Cool," sagot niya

Bigla kaming natahimik. Ahh. Awkward. Hindi siya ang awkward. Ako yung awkward!

"By the way, bukas birthday ko pala. Punta ka ah?" biglang aya niya.

"Saan?"

"Dito lang naman sa bahay. Magkakaroon ako ng party."

"Sige ba," wala sa sarili kong sagot.

"Cool. I really want to know you more."

Agad nag-init yung magkabila kong pisngi. Gusto niya akong makilala? Seryoso ba siya? Hindi na ko nakasagot kasi nakatingin nalang ako sa kanya.

"It looks like your tired. You should go to bed, " sabi niya.

"A-Ah yeah. You too," nahihiya kong sagot.

"Good night" He smiled and went inside his room.

'Good night'

'Good night'

'Good night'

'Good night'

'Good night'

'Good night'

Sheeeeetttt!!!

Pinansin niya ako! Napansin na niya ako! Akala ko panaginip ko lang yun pero hindi eeeee. Totoong nangyari yun! And he invited me for his birthday! Somebody invited me for his birthday! The best part is that he's Stanley Richards!!

Wait—

Did I just agree to be in his birthday?

Nooooooo!!

Paano ko sasabihin kay Daddy?