The Gay That Broke My Heart

Chapter 2

Czarina was in a deep sleep, unaware of her surroundings. Then suddenly, she heard a beeping sound. She tried to open her eyes, and yet, she was too tired to look where it came from. Besides, her eyes were too blurry, and they ached a little. She's just too tired to exert some effort to move. And Czarina feels like she’s about to be drowned in darkness again. So, she let herself succumb to the darkness again.

The image of her parents suddenly came into her dreams. They were frowning while looking at her. Her heart became a little heavy at the sight, but she couldn't do anything. They were saying something, but the continuous beeping sound near her was too loud. It was just too impossible for her to hear them. The beeping sound just keeps on ringing in her ears. Czarina couldn’t help but close her eyes tightly, hoping that the sound would disappear. When she looked back at her parents, they began to disappear.

"Mom? Dad? Where are you going? Why are you leaving? Mom! Dad!" Czarina shouted, but no one answered her…

Czarina suddenly felt an unexplainable pain. She dug her nails into her chest, hoping that it would ease the pain. And slowly, the tears were starting to fall from her eyes. She had never felt this lonely before. Czarina never felt so empty until now. She didn't know why, although she was aware that it was all just a dream, the fact that her parents disappeared badly affected her whole being. She thought all of her lies, she fed them. They thought that she was all a demure and kindhearted young woman when the truth is those are just her masks. She’s nothing but a selfish person who only thinks about herself.

Then, Czarina woke up. She sighed in relief. She had nothing to worry about because it was all just a dream, she thought. She got off of bed and stood up. Czarina suddenly froze on her feet when she noticed that she was inside an unfamiliar room. The walls are covered with white paint. Her eyes wandered inside the room. It was so simple. There’s a brown two-seater couch on the corner and a small wooden table adjacent to it. There is also a loud old air conditioner on her left, just beside the window. Czarina looked at herself and saw that she was wearing an oversized polka-dotted dress. She felt a sting on her right hand, so her eyes immediately looked at it. She notices that her hand has dextrose, and the IV is hooked on the iron pole beside her bed.

Czarina's heartbeat rose in fear when she just realized where she was.

Am I in the hospital? What happened?

Czarina tried so hard to remember what had happened. Then, like a puzzle, piece by piece, she was able to recall how her parents came to pick her up from the bar where she and Charmaine went. It was like she’s having a flashback when they had a fight inside the car, and then...

Czarina's eyes widened. Her hands automatically covered her mouth. "Mom and Dad!" she gasped and immediately removed the needle from the back of her hand. It stings, but she didn’t care. Right now, finding her parents is more critical. She ran outside the room and found herself in a maze of people walking in different directions.

Czarina started to run to the hospital’s west wing, hoping that she could find the nurse's station. When she saw a woman dressed in a comfortable white uniform, she immediately walked towards her and held her arm. "Miss, can you help me? Where's my mom and dad?" she asked. When the woman's forehead creased and waited for Czarina to say anything further, Czarina sighed. "Well, their names are Arthur and Leena Angeles."

The woman's eyes widened. "Oh! Are you the daughter? Czarina Angeles?" she asked.

"Yes! Yes, I am. Where are they? Can I see them? Which room? Come on. I wanna know if they're safe. I'm so dead worried about them right now," Czarina pleaded, half relieved as the nurse recognized her name.

The nurse was about to say something when a voice suddenly interrupted their conversation. Czarina turned in the direction of that voice and saw her grandmother, her dad's mother, Lola Rosing.

"Czarina!" her grandmother shouted.

Czarina froze for a moment. She blinked her eyes twice, making sure that her eyes didn’t deceive her. And when she realized that it was indeed her grandmother, she ran towards her grandmother and hugged her tightly. "You're here, Lola!"

It was like all her burdens were lifted because of the presence of her Lola Rosing.

"Oh, dear! I'm so worried about you!" she exclaimed.

Czarina loosened her hug and looked at her grandmother. "Have you seen mom and dad? Where are they? Where’s their room? I need to see them, Lola. Please... Come with me, and let's visit them!" She was about to walk and take her grandmother with her, but she had been pulled back again. She turned back to her with a questioning look and saw her tears starting to stream down her wrinkled cheeks.

Lola Rosing shook her head and sobbed, covering her mouth. "I'm sorry, Czarina... I'm sorry..." she wept.

"W-what do you mean, Lola? W-why are you crying? I-I'm all well now! I'm alive. Why are you crying?" she asked, stuttering.

"Your mom and dad..." Lola Rosing sobbed again. "They... they passed away... They passed away. They didn't make it to the hospital," she confessed.

Czarina trembled at her grandmother's words. She felt weakened by the news. She kept on shaking her head. No, this isn’t true. She even smirked weakly. She didn't want to believe anything that she was hearing.

No. This is definitely not happening. Mom and dad aren't dead. No. This is just a big joke. It's only a prank. Yep, that’s right! It was just a prank. Maybe they’re just teaching me a lesson. I bet they’re going to scold me again once they saw me, she convinced herself. She did everything in her strength to stop her tears from falling.

"Didn't you remember? They were supposed to pick you up at a bar. You were with them inside the car when it collided with another one," her grandmother asked her carefully.

Then the realization hit Czarina. She continuously shook her head. "No... no..." she said. "No, this is not happening. This is not happening... no..." She started to sob as she slowly curled her body up until she sat on her heels. Her shoulders began to tremble badly. Her sobs got louder and echoed through the hall.

Her parents died, and it was because of her. There was no one to blame but her. If she hadn't sneaked out of her room, they wouldn't be dead. They wouldn't be hurt. She wouldn’t be an orphan.

Czarina realized how selfish she was to think more about her peers, her immaturity, when all her parents thought about was her well-being. How wrong it was for her to believe that her parents were just worried about what other people would think of her! She never thought that her parents actually loved her so much, and they were just worried sick about her whereabouts.

She's so stupid and too immature to even think about herself rather than thinking about her mom and dad.

Czarina was very broken-hearted. Tears were falling from her eyes nonstop upon knowing the truth about her parent’s death. Her life will not be the same again. And no matter what she does, she can never turn back the hands of time. She's already an orphan. At the age of eighteen, her awaited freedom finally came into her life, but in a very sad way.

Indeed, be careful what you wish for...

She is indeed all alone now. All alone and hurt by the fact that she's the reason why they left her all alone in this world.