The Gay That Broke My Heart

It was another dull day for Czarina Angeles. Well, that’s what she thought. Growing up in a religious household, her parents were stringent. She needs to be at their house before 5:30 PM. And if ever she needs to be outside their house past that time, the reason for that is simple–she’s spending her time in church. That is the only acceptable reason. Czarina heaved a sigh. She was all alone in her room. It’s Friday night, and she’s in her room! How absurd is that?! She wants to party. Why can’t her parents understand that? She’s eighteen years old. She’s still young, and she wants to experience the things that life can offer. She’s sick and tired of being controlled by her parents. For the first time in her life, she just wanted to be free. That’s why when she received a text message from her friend—Charmaine, Czarina decided to sneak out for the first time. And that’s where it all started... Czarina immediately changed her clothes into her night-out get-up and her sneakers. She grabbed her backpack and put on her make-up, red cocktail dress, and her 4-inch pair of wedges. Czarina was about to sneak out by using the window of her room when she saw her reflection in the vanity mirror. She stops in front of it for a while and then smiles at herself. She hasn’t put on any make-up yet, but her naked face still radiates her sophisticated beauty. “Oh, why are you such a beauty!” she beamed with happiness. She’ll be more beautiful once she puts her make-up on at Charmaine’s place. She’s sure of it! She winks at her reflection, feeling so satisfied. She looked at her expensive gold wristwatch to check the time and saw that it was already 1 in the morning. She bet that her parents were already in their deep sleep. She immediately moved faster and in a discreet manner—too careful not to wake up her parents. Czarina glanced at her room one more time, ensuring that all the decoys she made were in place. She made it look as normal as possible, just like how it would be if she were still there, sleeping. She opened the window slowly and threw her backpack first. As soon as she heard the backpack land on the ground, she then expertly climbed down. The grass beneath her crackled a little when she landed on the ground. It was just an easy peasy stunt for her, even if she’s just a first-timer! She almost wanted to give herself a high five for a job well done! Czarina ducked and stayed there for a while. She tried listening to her surroundings, making sure that her parents didn’t wake up. A victorious smile crept across her face when there was no other movement other than hers. Suddenly, her phone vibrated inside her pocket. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw that it was Charmaine who was calling her. She bit her lips and giggled silently. She swiped her thumb on the phone screen to reject the call, and instead, she texted her friend. OMW. Don’t call me! After sending the message, she took her backpack and hurriedly walked out of their residence. She walked three blocks away from their house before she reached the bus stop and waited for a cab. Czarina didn’t wait for too long because, after ten minutes, she was already inside the taxi and already on her way to Charmaine’s place. As expected, Czarina’s friend was already waiting for her outside the house. Charmaine was living by herself, and sometimes Czarina couldn’t help but get jealous. It must be very nice to live all alone! She got out of the cab and walked towards her friend. “No sweat!” she bragged and winked. Charmaine just rolled her eyes. “You’re late! C’mon, hurry! You have to doll up now so we can go to the bar. I was told that our other friends had already started drinking. And some of them are already sober!” “Nah, can you please quit nagging? Just give me a few minutes, and I’m all set.” Czarina winked at her best friend, not minding the irritation on Charmaine's face. Charmaine just shook her head. She had no choice but to listen to Czarina. Charmaine led the way to her house. And just what Czarina said, she was all ready after a few minutes. She looks so stunning in her red cocktail dress and simple make-up. They hurriedly got into Charmaine’s car, and Charmaine drove as fast as she could to the bar. The two excitedly exited the car the moment they arrived at the bar. They immediately went in. Czarina dreamily gazed at her surroundings. This is life! She’s been dreaming of experiencing this kind of life. Free and with no regard for what others are doing. Even if this is the first time she experienced something like this, she quickly falls in love with it—the limelight, the loud techno music, the teens and adults dancing, drinking and kissing. This is the life that Czarina wanted to live for herself. She’s just so sick and tired of her being too good to be true life with her parents. They send her to a prestigious school and want her to spend her free time in the church. Not to mention, they also want her to be always on top–may it be in academic or extracurricular activities. At some point, Czarina thought that her parents wanted her to be a saint. But she’s too far from being a saint. A girl like her just wanted to party! Just thinking about it makes her stomach churn. She had no choice, though. She has to look like a demure lady in front of her relatives. A lot of people were too eager to talk to her, and she couldn’t blame them. Czarina is a very sophisticated girl. She's gorgeous and fair-skinned. Her Asian beauty blended with her dad's Spanish origins. Her eyes are rounded just like her father's and were colored with a pair of hazels. She stands 5’5” tall, and because of her physical appearance, a lot of people approach her as their talent. Even though she’s already an influencer in their school, she declines them all because of her parents' wishes. They wanted her to be more focused on school. She’s only allowed to be in extracurricular activities if it involves the school where she’s enrolled. Czarina walked past the party and pranced her way to the powder room. She went to the faucet and faced the mirror. She decided to re-apply her make-up and lipstick. When she was finally satisfied with how she looked, she went out to meet Charmaine. She found her bubbly friend talking to a group of teenagers not too far from where their friends are. Some of them were as young as Czarina. There were three boys in the group, along with the other two girls, who looked familiar to Czarina. Then suddenly it hit her. They’re juniors from her school, that’s why they looked familiar. And because she’s famous in school, people would ask her if she’s been to night-outs. At first, she just responded to them with a smile. But as time goes by, she can no longer give them a smile as a response. Afraid that she’ll be judged because she hasn’t been in a bar, she finally decided to sneak out and enjoy the nightlife. It's about time to enjoy what the night can offer. "Hey, Czari!" one of her high school schoolmates greeted her. Her name is Andrea. "It's great to see you here! I didn't know that you were hanging out in this bar! You should've told us!" Andrea yelled. The music in the bar was so loud that Andrea had to scream. Czarina forced a smile. She wanted to roll her eyes but stopped herself. Andrea is a well-known party girl in their school. She's the one who keeps asking her if she has a nightlife and starts making fun of her if she only responds with a smile. And although she hangs around them often, treating them as her real friends is the last thing she will think of. She's just too busy making them realize that she's no geek and weird. She had already left her old life of being a prim and proper teenager just to prove to the girls that she deserved attention in school. Well, effortlessly, she deserved it all. "I was told this is a great place, so here I am!" "Yes, it is! Glad you're here! I really thought you were just bluffing before. Good to know your mother allowed you to come out of the convent! I heard she's very strict!" Other girls laughed with Andrea. "Of course not! She actually wants me to party!" she lied. Her mom wouldn't let her be in this kind of place. Her mother is a prim and proper woman. Very elegant and simple. She is also very religious and polite to people. Her mother was never angry at her, but she was very strict, disciplining her in so many ways. And it seemed like her mother just wanted her to be exactly like her. Czarina is somehow regretful, thinking that she's lying to her parents. She loves them, but she can't be someone they wanted her to be. She needs to explore the world without inhibitions. She needs to unite with what the world is offering her. "Don't worry too much about me, Andrea..." Czarina continued. "I'm already here, and you have already seen me. So, what's the fuss? Besides, can't you see? Guys are gaping at me right now," she smirked while saying that to her friend. She saw how Andrea gasped at her words. Czarina just didn't mind and continued to take the beer bottle from a random guy's hand near her and drank it bottoms up. Guys around him started to shout their encouragement to her. Even though this is Czarina's first time in the bar, she is used to drinking. She and Charmaine had been drinking even before. This always happened when she had to sleep over at Charmaine's place. And, of course, she had to lie to her parents that they were doing a project. Ever since then, Czarina knows that she has a high tolerance for alcohol. And as the night deepens, the guys start to approach her and ask her for a dance. She gladly accepted their invitation. She began to dance throughout the night, dip-dancing with strangers and kissing them. Then, there was this cute guy who caught her attention. His name is Michael. He was dancing with Czarina and talking to her all night until he dragged her away from the crowd. They stopped in the VIP Room's door as Micheal pinned her body there. He kissed her hungrily. His hands started to trace their way to her butt, slowly pulling her dress, making her thighs visible. Czarina automatically pushed Michael away from her as she gasped. "W-what are you doing?" she asked. Her voice started to tremble. She never thought that Michael would try to be more intimate with her. It was clear as a day that Michael just wanted to make some advances on her. Michael moved his hands to his shoulders in an upward manner and shrugged. "What do you want me to do, then? Just kiss you on the forehead?" he chuckled. Czarina scoffed at his words. "Asshole!" She pushed him and escaped from his presence. Czarina really hated guys like Michael. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that they only approach her because she's pretty, a partygoer, spontaneous, and bubbly. To those guys, she is just a one-night-stand kind of girl--someone who doesn't need to be taken seriously. Czarina was so furious. She ran outside and didn't even mind Charmaine's persistent calling of her name. The guys around her who were trying to get her attention were all completely ignored as soon as she exited the bar. It was supposed to be a great night until the incident with Michael happened. She just continued to walk away. She didn't know where she was heading. She could see many vehicles on the road. She was still in her red cocktail dress. Her high heels were already killing her. She almost wanted to sing hallelujah as soon as she saw a convenience store. She finally decided to stop by and sat on the iron bench. She stayed there, putting herself back together. Her heart was still racing from what had happened earlier. She took a couple of deep breaths before she calmed herself and regained her regular breathing. She stared at the busy road. It is already 4 AM, and Czarina is still tired from walking. She sighed. "What am I going to do? It's already late. Mom will definitely kill me..." she told herself. After a few moments, Czarina looked at a familiar car approaching the convenience store. It stopped right in front of her. Czarina’s jaw dropped as the window opened downward as she saw her mother and father inside the car. Her mom's head leaned a bit outside the window and looked at her seriously. "You get in the car, Czarina Angeles. Right now!" she shouted at her. Czarina's back automatically straightened at her mom's voice. It was the first time her mom shouted at her. "I'm doomed," she mumbled to herself. She stood up and walked towards the car. After she got inside the car’s back seat, her dad started to awaken the engine and drove back to their house. It was a bit dim inside the car, and Czarina wasn't so sure about her parents' reactions. They were all silent the moment they left the convenience store. She heard her mom sigh. "Honey, can you please explain this? What has gotten into you?!" she started. "Mom, I..." "This is not acceptable, young lady!" her dad burst into anger. "We never taught you to do this kind of insolence! How should I explain to our relatives what you're doing?" "I just want to hang out, that's all!" she reasoned out. "You stop talking back to your father, Czarina," her mom warned, turning to her while pointing a finger at Czarina. Czarina rolled her eyes and crossed her arms on her chest. This is one of her parents' problems. They asked her a question and when she tried to reason out, she would appear like an insolent daughter. "I'm not going to listen to this..." "No! Don't act like you're all grown up now, Czarina. You are just eighteen years old! I am your father, and you should listen to me!" "And do what? Look like a perfect daughter in front of other people? I just don't get it! Why are you all so overprotective of me?!" "We only care about your well-being. How are we supposed to know if something happens to you? Don't you know how hard it is to wake up and look all over for you? Your dad and I are trying to understand you. We can't believe that you have to sneak out. And with a dress like that?" Her mother made a sign of a cross. "Since when did you learn to party? We no longer want you to hang out with Charmaine. She's a bad influence on you. I bet she's the one who taught you how to drink," her mother butted in. "What?!" Czarina hissed. She couldn't believe she was hearing this. This is the first time she sneaks out, and she gets busted right away! Now, her parents thought it was Charmaine's fault. When the truth is, she was the one who convinced Charmaine to tag her along. This must be the reason why her group of friends always tease her about her parents. Thinking about it made her sickly ashamed. How could they do this to her?! Why can't she have the freedom she wanted? Why are they suffocating her? "We know you're already at the age at which you want to explore. But this is not the way to do it! This is not acceptable! You're beyond the limits, and it's very dangerous. You're a young woman, for Pete's sake!" her dad shouted. They were all too busy arguing with each other inside the car while Czarina's dad drove faster than expected. Czarina thought that her father was just too furious that he wanted to arrive at their home right away. But she couldn't care less as she was infuriated too. Suddenly, out of nowhere, another car showed up in front of them, heading in their direction. The beaming headlights and the sudden appearance of the car gave them all the shock they could feel. And before they could realize what was happening, it was already too late for her dad to steer the wheel to avoid the approaching car. It was all too sudden. Czarina remembered herself screaming when she heard the metals scraping as the car collided with theirs. All the voices and sounds surrounding her started to get drowned by the silence. It was as if everything was in slow motion. She could see her mother screaming, but she couldn’t hear any sounds. Her father’s eyes were shut. The broken shards of shattered glass slowly danced with the collision. Czarina saw everything. Her brain froze in fear as soon as she saw how fatal the damage was. As her life began to flash before her eyes, all of her mistakes: from where she let herself go against her parents' will up to the day that she talked back to them. They were worried sick about her, but she was just partying all night, not thinking about what her parents would feel. She thought she would never get busted, and yet here they are, hanging on their dear life—a night of mistakes that led to this unfortunate event. Suddenly, everything went to its normal phase again. The car was rolling and bouncing to the ground and rolled once again to finally crash against the empty road. Czarina saw the pitiful condition of her parents. Their bodies looked lifeless, and there was blood everywhere. Czarina tried to open her mouth to call out her parents. She wanted to wake them up, but she felt too weak. And no matter how hard she tried to call them, there was no voice coming out of her mouth. Then, after a few seconds, everything went black for Czarina.