13- I miss you
1968 Words
Princess's
Bakit ba kasi nandito na naman 'tong lalaking ito?
Nakapagsalita tuloy ako nang walang preno. Bad mouth, bad mouth.
Ang sarap tapikin ang bibig ko at hindi marunong pumreno. Hindi kasi nakikisama sa akin, eh.
"Tell me, did you know why I left you? Because if you don't know, I can tell you right now para malaman mo ang dahilan ko kung bakit kailangan ko lumipad sa state without telling you," banggit niya na hinuhuli ang mga mata ko.
Pero lalo ako umiwas ng tingin sa kaniya habang ako ay nag-iisip ng dahilan.
Kasi kapag sinabi ko na alam ko, baka isipin niya na updated pala ako sa buhay niya. Kapag naman sinabi ko na hindi ko alam, baka isipin niya ay parang wala kaming pinagsamahan dati.
Pero parang mas bet ko 'yung pangalawa.
I, then, faced him with raise eyebrows to intimidate him. "I don't care kung anong nangyari sa 'yo dati, okay? Kaya pwede ba lumabas ka na. Or, do you want me to scream now to let them know na you are harassing me here?" pabalang ko'ng sabi sa kaniya, scaring him to what I'm capable of doing.
"Go ahead, you can scream all you want. I don't mind," kibit-balikat na sabi ni Chard na para bang ayos lang sa kaniya ang lahat.
Ang tapang niya, ah.
"Are you out of your mind?" nabigla kong tanong sa kaniya.
Kakaloka, nagbago na siya. Hindi na siya ang Chard na kilala ko noon.
"Maybe. Nagkakaganito lang naman ako dahil sa 'yo, eh," diretsyo niyang replied.
Seryoso ba siya?
Nakipagtitigan ako sa kaniya matapos niya magsalita dahil hindi man lang siya nahihiya while saying that to me. Kakaiba na talaga siya ngayon.
"Sorry to say to you pero I'm not available anymore. I have a boyfriend already, okay? Kaya pwede ba, tantanan mo na ako?" nahihibang kong wika.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko 'yun sinabi. Me, boyfriend? That's the very lame excuse na naisip ko so far just to get rid of him.
Now it's his time to get quiet dahil sa sinabi ko and he just stares at me blankly.
Now, what is he thinking?
"Pakiulit nga ang sinabi mo," seryoso niyang sambit para maliwanagan siya.
Should I take back what I said? Or huwag na?
Siguro mas maganda na alam niya na may boyfriend na ako para hindi niya ako guluhin at hindi na siya punta nang punta rito.
Tama. Ganu'n na nga lang ang gawin ko para lubayan na niya ako.
"Hindi mo ba ako narinig? Ang sabi ko may boyfriend ako, kaya it's impossible for us to be together if that is the reason you're still here in front of me," mataray kong ani.
"You're lying," akusa niya sa akin na hindi inaalis ang mga mata niya sa akin.
Napaismid ako nang hindi siya maniwala sa sinasabi ko.
"No, I'm not," confident kong sagot to make him believe that I am not lying and all I said was true.
"Sige nga, if you really have then call him now. Kapag napatunayan ko na taken ka na then that's the time I'm gonna stop," he dared me.
What did he say? Call him?
This man really knows how to get me.
"He's a busy man," dahilan kong sabi.
"There's no man will be busy if his girl is calling. Go ahead and call him," matapang niyang banggit.
No way this man will ever leave me.
I rolled my eyes at him because of how hardheaded he is. "Pwede ba, just leave me alone? I need to go to pee," another excused ko at tinanggal ko ang kumot sa mga paa ko para makababa ako nang kama.
"See, you're just making that excuse to get rid of me. Kilala kita, Lorainne," kontra niya na umikot sa kabilang side kung saan ako tumayo.
"Think what you want to think, okay? I don't give a sh!t anymore," pagsasawalang bahala kong responded at diretsyo akong lumakad to go to the bathroom.
"Say to my face that you don't like me anymore and I will stop," seryoso niyang wika in front of me.
Tinaasan ko siya nang isang kilay dahil sa gusto niyang mangyari. Seryoso ba siya?
At dahil naiinis na talaga ako sa kaniya ay tumayo ako nang diretsyo sa harapan niya. "For Christ's sake, Chard, leave me alone, okay? I'm tired of you already. We are not having this conversation so, could you please leave the fvck me alone?" galit kong anunsyo direkta sa mga mata niya.
For a moment ay nakipagtitigan lang siya sa akin. The room filled with silence and then, he took a step forward that confused me.
"What are you doing? Don't you dare, Chard," kinabahan kong sabi sa kaniya at napahakbang tuloy ako patalikod dahil kakaiba siya tumitig sa akin.
"Matanda na tayo, Lorainne, I am not playing games anymore. I had enough already, okay? All I want now is to settle down with the woman I love. That's all I want now," komento niya while walking towards me seriously.
"Neither am I," I nervously replied, and I tried to walk away from him pero hinarang niya ang daan ko.
Kaasar naman ang lalaking ito, oh!
"Then, why are you still fighting with me? I know that you're lying when you said you have a boyfriend," seryoso niyang tanong without looking anywhere but into my eyes only.
"I—I'm not lying!" sigaw ko dahil naiinis na ako sa kaniya nang ako ay ma-out of balance dahil may IV stand na nakaharang sa likod ko.
Lumingon ako to check the stand nang suddenly I felt a hand around my waist. I looked at him again and that's the time he pulled me closer and our bodies collided with each other. I blinked plenty of times because of what happened that I did not expect to happen.
"You are really a bad liar," aniya while holding me too close.
"I'm not. Let me go," kontra ko at pinilit ko na makawala sa kaniya by pushing his chest away from me.
But to no avail. He is hard as rock, to my dismay!
I am preventing him to getting too close to my face at baka bigla ako halikan ng siraulong lalaking ito. Not a chance.
"I SAID LET ME GO!" sigaw ko na may inis na sa tono nang boses ko at siniringan ko na siya.
Hindi ba talaga ako titigilan ng lalaking ito, huh?
"Not until you admit to me that you still love me," wika niya na pinagpipilitan pa rin ang sarili sa akin.
"Gago ka ba? Hindi mo ba talaga ako titigilan, huh?" seryoso kong sabi at tumigil ako sa pagpupumiglas para titigan siya nang diretsyo.
Nabibwisit na ako sa kaniya, ah.
"Language, your highness. Baka nakakalimutan mo isa kang prinsesa," suway niya sa akin.
Siraulo talaga itong lalaking ito.
"Your highness, your face. Wala ako sa bansa namin to act like it. Kaya pwede ba? Let me go now," galit kong replied, and I pushed his chest again.
But to no avail, for goodness' sake!
Then I heard the door open, kaya napalingon kami pareho at nakita namin si Nanny Deli na nabigla sa pwesto namin.
"Nanny Deli, please help me," tawag ko na may pagmamakaawa to convince her that I need her help.
"We're just talking. Please, close the door," pakiusap ni Chard na hindi ako binibitawan.
Gago talaga ito.
"I-uh...balik ako maya-maya," sabi ni Nanny Deli at sinara ang pinto.
"Nanny Deli!" sigaw ko to stop her from leaving me like this.
I, then, stop moving nang bigla ako niyakap ni Chard. What the hell is he doing?
"God, I've been waiting for this," rinig ko siyang bumulong sa tenga ko.
Waiting? Waiting for what? What is he talking about?
Oh, whatever! I tried to push him again when he suddenly pulled his head and looked at my face with 3 inches between our faces.
He is too close for me, the heck.
"Don't you fvcking dare kiss me, I'm telling you, Chard," I warned him with a glare.
"Why are you being stubborn? Bakit kailangan mo pa magsinungaling sa akin? Alam mo ba na kapag nagsisinungaling ka napansin ko na your eyes would blink three times after saying it, indicating that you're lying. Kaya hindi mo ako maloloko, Lorainne. You don't have a boyfriend," he said without blinking and just stare at me.
And how the hell did he know that?
For some reason, I smiled after he spoke dahil kahit na ilang taon kami hindi nagkita, kilala pa rin niya ako.
"You should smile more often. You are more beautiful when you're smiling," banggit niya while looking down on my lips.
At dahil sa sinabi niya ay nawala ang ngiti sa mga labi ko, at nakipagtitigan lang ako sa kaniya. Silence once again brushed to us while we are staring at each other's eyes.
"I miss you," bulong niya at nilapit pa niya nang husto ang mukha niya sa akin.
W-What? My heart skipped a bit nang marinig ko siya. S-Seryoso ba siya?
"I miss you every single day, Lorainne," pag-uulit niya at nilapat niya ang noo niya sa akin.
I was out of words, dahil sa sinabi niya. I just stayed silent because of it and just looked into his eyes directly.
"Listen, my foster elder sister was dying when I went back to state. Did you know na nawala ako noong bata ako? Nalaman ko lang na magkapatid kami ni Alek ng magkita kami sa state when I was there to visited my foster elder sister na asawa pala niya. What a small world, right? But that's true. And that's when I heard that you and Alek got annulment. Alam ko na nawala ako sa mga panahon na mas kailangan mo ako, pero I had a reason why I left. I did not abandon nor leave you. I will not do that to you," paliwanag niya sa akin in a smooth voice and then, he brushed the tip of his nose to mine when he closed his eyes.
Oh, God, what is this feeling I am having right now?
Bakit parang mas naintindihan ko siya now that he is explaining it to me kaysa sa text na nabasa ko noon na pinadala ni Rachel?
He, then, opened his eyes and I just stared at him quietly. "For years, I chased you. But you were ignoring and avoiding me na naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit. May karapatan ka magalit sa akin, Lorainne. I understand your pain. Pero sana maintindihan mo rin na...nasasaktan din ako. Yes, I like you a lot, and I was wrong for not telling you where I was going, but I need to go away to find myself for a while. I was not in the right state of mind ng mawala ang tumayong Ate ko. Ganunpaman, bumalik ako, hindi ba? I was looking for you when I regained myself. But you were gone already. You flew away. I tried reaching for you, but you were unreachable already. You shut me out. I do not know what else I would do just to get you. And now that you're back, I don't want to miss a thing. I would like to take care of you. Furthermore, I want to be at your side every time you need me. Not only that but, I would like to be the first person you would see in the morning, and the last person you would see at the night. I also would want to protect you, and secure your future, our future together. I am not going anywhere anymore now that you're here with me," he enunciated clearly that surprised me.
At dahil sa mga sinabi niya ay para akong binunutan ng tinik sa dibdib.
That's all I would like to hear.
Itutuloy...
- Writer
