My Lust Love

Chapter 1

Karmina

"Ah excuse me, ako 'yong nagpa-reserve ng room good for one. Karmina Austria." I handed my ID to the handsome receptionist in front of me. Pwede na, mas gwapo naman 'to kaysa sa manlolokong Joma na 'yon. I gasped. Bakit ko pa ba siya iniisip? I'm here to forget him.

The receptionist looked on his computer. So Gerald was his name. Thank you sa name tag niyang nakadikit sa dibdib niya.

He looked back at me with a warm smile. "Yes your name is here ms. Austria, welcome to the Lust Paradise, where your sadness will cast away and your desires may be fulfill. Enjoy your stay miss." Inabot niya sa 'kin yung susi. This might be the key to my room.

I smiled back to him. "Thank you."

I hope this place was really the right place to have a peace of mind. I wonder bakit hindi gaanong kilala 'tong resort na 'to.

Lust Paradise is such a witty name. I was scrolling on Google to find resorts. Unang mga lumabas ay masyado ng matao like Boracay and Palawan. Ayoko ng masyadong matao kaya I scrolled hanggang sa ibaba and Lust Paradise immediately captured my attention, so I scrolled through their website; mukhang okay naman ang lugar, tahimik at konti lang ang turista. Tamang-tama if gusto mo lang mag unwind with yourself.

Dumiretso muna 'ko sa kwarto ko. The room was nice as well. Perfect lang siya for one person. It looks neat because of its basic white background. Pati 'yong kama ko kulay white lang ang bedsheet while pastel pink naman 'yong kumot.

Umupo muna 'ko sa malambot na kama at hiniga ang maletang dala ko. Para akong mangingibang bansa dahil sa dami ng mga gamit ko. Well three months akong mag-stay dito, so okay na rin ang madami kaysa magkulang.

I sighed. I covered my face with my palms. Sumikip nanaman 'yong dibdib ko. Palagi ko na lang naaalala si Joma and that b***h na kahalikan niya sa isang bar. Tumingala ako hoping na hindi na bumagsak 'yong mga luha ko pero wala bumagsak pa rin. Binagsak ko na lang din 'yong katawan ko sa kama. Ang tanga-tanga ko na talaga!

After a stupid breakdown, I sat up and exhaled. I told myself na hindi na ako iiyak pa nang dahil sa kanya, pero bakit naluluha pa rin ako kapag naaalala siya? Ganoon na ba 'ko katanga?

Nilibang ko na lang 'yong sarili ko. I started putting my clothes to the big closet that I had hear. Mabuti naman at kahit papaano ay malaki ang damitang ito na gawa pa sa woods. Ang cute lang kasi pastel pink din ang kulay nito.

After I fixed my things, I came closer to the window. Hinawi ko 'yong pastel pink na kurtina. I couldn't help but to smile.

Ang lakas maka-relax ng green and blue ambiance. Ang daming palm tress na nagsasayawan sa hangin. Tanaw din dito ang bundok sa kadulu-duluhan ng asul na dagat, parang tinatawag ako ng alon ng tubig. Ang ganda. May mga batang naglalaro sa puting buhangin. Bilang lang sa kamay ko 'yong mga tao which is better for me. May ilang naglalakad-lakad at ang ilan naman ay naliligo. How come this place wasn't famous? Well I guess it's better this way. Mas okay ng peaceful na lang ang lugar na ito. Good only for people who want peace of mind. 

Wala akong ginawa maghapon kundi panuorin lang ang mga taong magsaya sa labas. Bukas na lang siguro ako maliligo at maglilibot.

I just want to rest for now. I took a quick shower before going to bed. Paikot-ikot ako sa kama pero kada pumipikit ako, nakikita ko lang si Joma at 'yong malanding babae sa isip ko. Paulit-ulit bumabalik sa alaala ko 'yong paghahalikan nila sa harapan ko. No! I don't want to cry, not anymore.

Bumagon ako at ginulo 'yong maikli at bagsak kong buhok. "f**k you Joma! f**k you!" Nanghina nanaman ako.

Before I could see myself crying, I rose from my bed and decided to take a walk. Hindi na 'ko nagpalit. I stick to my silk polo and shorts. Yakap ko lang ang sarili ko. I should have changed my shorts. Kumakapit 'yong lamig ng hangin sa binti ko. Liwaliw na liwaliw 'yong mga puno sa pagsayaw.

Nakarating ako sa pool area ng resort. I was loving this place even more. Ito naman ang perfect tambayan with friends. Ang daming wooden table and seats sa gilid ng pool.

"Hi miss."

I just smiled to the three men that approached me. May three bottles of red horse sa lamesa nila and some foods.

I passed by them. My heart jumped when one of the guy grabbed my wrist. I stopped and looked back at them with my confused face.

"Mag-isa ka yata, you can join us if you want to."

I tried to smile kahit kinabahan na ako. They looked nice naman, but I was not comfortable with them. They looked rich and arrogant; they were giving me a resemblance of Joma; manloloko.

"Ah... n-no thanks, I'm actually with someone." I looked around pretending to looked for someone. "We're about to meet here actually." I managed to stay calm.

The guy with a red shirt laughed. "You're lying."

I felt like I was in actual danger. "No I'm not." Inagaw ko 'yong pulso ko sa lalakeng humablot nito.

"Ito naman ang kj. Wala naman kaming gagawin sa 'yo. We just wanna have fun. Join us na!" Pilit nung lalakeng humablot sa 'kin.

"I-I'm sorry but... I really need to go."

Before I could even walked away, someone grabbed my wrist again. The guy with a black shirt stood up and stared at me deadly.

"C'mon join us."

I bit my lower lip. Nanginig na 'yong tuhod ko. What am I gonna do now?

Tumaas 'yong balahibo ko nang may umakbay sa 'kin. "May problema ba rito?" A cold voice came along.

Tanging ulo ko lang 'yong nagalaw ko; parang nakuryente 'yong buong katawan ko. I glanced at the guy beside me. Una kong napansin 'yong pabango niya. He smells good; parang amoy ng bagong ligo na may mamahaling sabon.

"Bakit pre, may problema ka ba?" The guy with a black shirt asked. His jaw even clenched. Joma na Joma talaga.

"Bakit? May kailangan ba kayo sa girlfriend ko?"

My eyes widened. I looked at him again. Hindi naman siya si Joma. He looked like a cold hearted man. Iyong mga lalakeng bihira lang makitang ngumiti; he looked like that type of guy.

"Boyfriend mo 'yan?" The guy with a red shirt asked. Mabuti pa 'tong nakapula, mas kalmado magsalita kaysa sa nakaitim; puno ng yabang 'yong boses.

"A-ah yes. I told you right? I'm with someone." Oh gosh! Kung sino ka mang lalake ka, thank you for saving me.

"Ano may problema ba kayo?" Walang kaemo-emsyon ang boses ng lalakeng nakaakbay pa rin sa 'kin.

The silent guy with a blue shirt suddenly laughed. "Wala naman boss, inaalok lang namin siyang uminom. You can join as well. Shot tayo."

"Pass bro, hindi siya umiinom. Mauna na kami."

Finally we walked away from those bastards. Nahirapan lang akong maglakad dahil nakakailang 'yong mga braso niyang nakapalibot sa 'kin. Hindi niya 'yon inalis hanggang sa makalayo kami sa pool area.

Our eyes met and hindi nga ako nagkamali. Suplado talaga ang mapungay niyang mata.

"Thank--" I stopped talking when he passed by me.

My brows furrowed. Sinundan ko lang siya ng tingin. Palayo na siya sa akin and he did not even bother to say a single word.

"Thank you!" I still shouted nang mabalik ako sa huwisyo. Matulungin pero suplado nga talaga. 

It was my second they here; still nothing have change. Masakit pa rin, nakakaiyak pa rin. I was starting to think that running away wasn't the best idea. I don't have any plans. Basta na lang ako nag-decide na pumunta rito. Hoping that I could move on if I was away.

Tinignan ko kung bagay ba sa 'kin 'yong bagong bili kong swimsuit sa harap ng whole body mirror sa gilid ng pinto.

It was a mustard ribbed push-up triangle bikini top. It perfectly fits my boobs and shows a little cleavage. I wore a high waist ribbed bikini bottom to compliment my top.

Sexy naman ako; gym was actually my best friend. It gave me abs, slim waist, bigger butt, and compact boobs. Ano pa bang kulang sa 'kin? Anong mayroon sa babaeng kahalikan niya at pinagpalit niya 'ko roon?

Pinunasan ko 'yong luhang bumagsak sa pisnge ko. I pointed my reflection. "Stop thinking of him, okay? Stop thinking of him Karmina, stop." I exhaled the heaviness in my chest.

I really need a nice bath.

Hindi ko napansing may mga duyan din pala rito sa pwesto ng mga nakahilerang palm trees. Perfect if you just want to relax your back with a hint of fresh air.

Nagpatuloy ako sa paglakad until I reached the white sand. It was actually soft. I felt like I was walking on a cotton.

May ilan pa ring mga bata na naglalaro ng sand; those innocent laughter. Ang saya-saya lang nila habang bumubuo ng castle.

Ang ilan naman ay may dala pang bola sa dagat. They were playing like a kid as well; pinag-aagawan 'yong malaking bola.

I smile when I saw a sand chair; perfect for tanning since I have been living with fair skin for years now. I came closer to check the chairs. May ilang mga nakahiga roon with their shades on.

My brows furrowed when I saw a familiar guy sitting on a sand chair. He was not wearing any top. Hindi ko napansin kagabi na maganda pala 'yong katawan niya. He got his abs na bagay na bagay sa moreno niyang kulay. Well built din pati 'yong braso niya.

I ran towards him.

"Hi." I smiled. I didn't got the chance to formally thanked him yesterday. Maybe this was my chance.

He looked up to see me. Now I saw clearly that he also got a thick but nice eyebrow; not to mention his nose was nice as well. His black hair was messy, but it looks good on him.

After he examined me from head to toe, he just nodded at me. Binalik niya agad 'yong tingin niya sa dagat. Was he the type of conservative guy who doesn't want woman to wear this kind of clothes? He stared at me for a second like he judged my whole existence.

I don't know why but there's something about him that made me wanna know him. He was kinda mysterious. After all, maybe I just need someone to talk to so that I could stop thinking of Joma.

I smiled and sat beside him. "Karmina." I offered my hand.

He glanced at my hand; para namang diring-diri siyang tignan ako.

"Alexis." Pinanindigan niya talaga 'yong hindi pagtingin sa 'kin.

Binawi ko 'yong kamay ko. How dare him embarrassed me.

"Malinis naman 'yong kamay ko, grabe ka." I turned my embarrassment into a joke. Iyon ata talent ko; idaan sa biro ang lahat, kaya ayon pati 'yong love biniro ako.

"What do you need?" Hindi niya pa rin ako tinignan. I never met a guy na parang diring-diri sa akin at ayaw akong silayan. Mukha ba akong nana sa paningin niya?

"I just want to say thank you. You saved my life kagabi. Akala ko maga-gang bang na--" I covered my mouth. Nag-aalangan akong tumawa. "N-never mind."

Finally he looked at me! I caught him smiled pero sumeryoso lang din agad siya. He opened his mouth; I stared at him and waited for what he was about to say. Nangingiti na 'ko, but then he eventually pursed his lips. He looked away. "Walang anoman."

Bumagsak 'yong balikat ko. I thought he was gonna say something interesting, still cold.

Tumango ako. I found it hard to have a conversation with him. Tumayo ako sa harapan niya. I laughed when he just looked at my foot. Papanindigan niya talagang hindi tumingin sa katawan ko ha. He was so funny.

"Maliligo ako, wanna join?" Tinuro ko 'yong dagat. Mukhang mas masaya naman talagang maligo kapag may kasama. I think I found my purpose here; to find new interesting friends.

Umiling siya. "I'm tired." Humiga na siya sa sand chair at pinatong pa 'yong palad niya sa ulo niya.

"Okay sige. Just call me when you're not tired anymore." Kumaway ako ng paalam kahit sa ulap na siya nakatingin. Confirmed, masungit nga talaga.

I ran towards the sea. Maybe this was the best way to chill. Ang maligo sa dagat kahit mag-isa lang. At least masasanay na rin akong walang kasama... k-kasi from now on wala na kami ni Joma... After five years, three chances, nauwi lang din sa wala. Ang tagal ko pala talagang nabulag. 

I smiled like crazy; kaya ko naman palang aliwin 'yong sarili ko nang mag-isa. Nanatili ako sa dagat kung saan hanggang baiwang lang ang lalim sa akin. Patalon-talon lang ako. Kaunti na lang siguro baliw na talaga ako.

"Ouch." I hold my head when a heavy thing bumped on it.

"Oh my gosh sorry." A girl with a red one piece bikini swam closer to me. "Paulo kuhanin mo na 'yong tsinelas!"

I looked at a slipper na tinangay na ng alon palayo. A guy swam to catch it. Why the hell are they playing slippers on a beach?

"Sorry miss, Inaasar ko lang 'yong boyfriend ko. Hindi ko napansing may tao pala rito." Hinawakan niya 'yong ulo ko. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it's okay." Nilayo ko sa kanya 'yong ulo ko. Hindi naman gaanong masakit. Buti na lang hindi, dahil gaganti talaga ako kung masakit 'yon.

"Salamat hindi ka nagalit. Wendy nga pala." She offered her hand. I accepted it. Mukha naman siyang mabait. She has a sweet smile with braces on her teeth. Mukhang ang tagal na nila rito or maybe morena lang talaga siya.

"I'm Karmina."

"Love." Napatingin kami sa lalakeng may hawak na ngayon nung tsinelas. "Ang kulit mo kasi, sabi ko sa iyo baka makatama ka eh." Tumabi siya kay Wendy. Tignan mo nga naman. Umiiwas nga ako maalala si Joma pagkatapos magjowa pa ang maaalala ko. How nice.

"Love okay lang, hindi naman siya nagalit tsaka hindi naman daw masakit diba?"

Tumango ako nang ibalik ni Wendy 'yong tingin sa akin. "Ah yes. No worries."

"Oo nga pala, siya naman si Paulo, boyfriend ko."

Ngumiti lang siya sa 'kin. I wanted to roll my eyes, thankfully napigilan ko. I smiled back; siguraduhin niya lang na hindi siya kagaya ni Joma na manloloko. I wouldn't want any girls to experience what I had experienced.

"Karmina." I introduced myself once again.

"Karmina pasensya na ha. Ang kulit kasi nitong girlfriend ko."

"No it's okay. I told you it's okay." Natawa na lang ako kasi paulit-ulit sila. Ayaw na ayaw ni Joma ang paulit-ulit kasi nakukulitan siya. 

"Sino pa lang kasama mo?" Wendy looked around. Umahon na kami sa dagat and decided to eat lunch. Buti inaya nila ako. At least I was not alone anymore.

"Ah I'm with myself." I slightly smiled. Naiinggit tuloy ako bigla sa kanila. I remembered Joma and I having a vacation every new year; ngayon wala na; it would never happen again.

"Aww..." Bumagsak 'yong balikat ni Wendy. As if nadama niya 'yong hapdi sa puso ko. "That must be sad."

"Ano ka ba love? Hindi naman malungkot ang mag-isa. Minsan nga mas masaya pa 'yon eh."

Wendy pouted. "So mas gusto mong hindi ako kasama?"

I rolled my eyes and made sure they didn't saw do it. Sa harap ko pa talaga sila naglambingan. I found it cheesy.

Inakbayan ni Paulo si Wendy. He kissed her on her cheeks. "Syempre mas gusto ko ng kasama ka ngayon love. You know what I mean."

I gasped. Linyahan talaga ng mga lalake, halos pare-pareho na lang.

Hinampas ni Wendy si Paulo. "Talaga lang ha." Kunwari pa siyang nagtatampo, nangingiti naman na.

Paulo laughed. "Oo nga po."

I mocked them. Hindi ko na natiis. Naglalambingan pa, magbe-break din naman.

"Ah... Karmina ayos ka lang?"

I flinched. Nakatingin na pala sila sa 'kin.

I awkwardly laugh. "Ah oo, medyo sumakit lang 'yong ngipin ko. Ang tigas kasi ng pork steak nila here."

Well it was true. Matigas talaga 'yong baboy. Buti nga naubos ko pa; masarap naman 'yong sauce.

They both laughed. "Oo nga ang tigas nga. Hindi na kami oorder ulit niyon," Paulo said.

I looked at the pool beside our table. Dalawang tao lang ang naliligo. Ayos, pwede ko pa lang ma-solo ang pool, I just had to find the perfect timing.

Napatingin ako sa table kung saan kami unang nagkita nung supladong si Alexis. Gladly wala roon 'yong tatlong mokong na lalake.

"Love, asaan na nga pala 'yong tropa mo?" Wendy asked after simutin 'yong buko shake niya.

"Nandiyaan lang 'yon sa tabi-tabi. Baka nagmumuni-muni o kaya nag-so-soul searching-- oh ayan na pala eh, Alexis!" Paulo raised and waved his hands; he was looking behind my back.

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. I pursed my lips and didn't bother to look at my back. Baka kapangalan lang.