Blood & Pain: My Mafia Stepbrother

chapter 7 Roman

Roman p.o.v.

What the f**k I was even thinking when I talked to her like that. I went to her room to make it up for my behaviour and to act like a brother but I am f*****g sure the way I talked to her and whatever I was doing with her was not a way a brother should act. Why had I even thought to act like a brother anyway? I didn't have to do it just because Dane wanted to treat her as a sister, right?

After listening to Dane I realized one thing that I have to protect Mia from our dangerous mafia world and my psycho father because god knows when he change his plans for Mia and do the same things with her that he did to me when I was a child. I didn't want her or any other kid to go through the same torture and pain that I suffered just because my father wanted a strong heir and the mafia wanted a dangerous future boss.

But after today I am sure of one thing that... I am far more dangerous for her. I should protect her from me because don't know how much self-control I had left. It's been two years since I had s*x with someone, I can't take that risk not after what had happened to Georgia when I had lost my control. I still remembered that night when I lose to my dark desires and the sadist beast inside of me get full control. The haunted face of Georgia, her body covered in her blood still came in my nightmares and the worst part was I am not afraid of it, I like it... I was f*****g enjoying that night hurting the only person I should have loved and protected. And this can't happen again not to my baby sister. f**k did I just accept her as a sister?

But she is my stepsister we are not related by blood.

My inner voice reminded me..but f**k it doesn't matter blood or not I will never repeat my mistake. No girl deserves a monster like me. I should control myself, I have to.

After a long cold shower and taking care of my d**k, I plopped in my bed to get some sleep. The desire of thinking about her small body and her pink lips while jerking myself was so intense. I tried not to think about her creamy thighs and innocent eyes but at last, I failed so I masturbate while thinking about her. The way she was sitting near my legs, her hands on her lap and her head down in submission. Such a perfect little submissive. I wonder did she was aware of her actions or if she was just nervous and afraid of me but I am sure I was not imagining things when I saw desire in her eyes and the way she pressed her thighs together f**k I even smelled her arousal. I can have her if I want I just have to make the first move but I will do no such thing. I will keep my sinful thoughts to myself and I will try to not think about my little sister while jerking myself...but that feels so f*****g good I don't remember when was the last time I get that hard.

The sane part of me still felt disgusted by what I had done. Jerking myself while thinking about a teenage girl... who is my sister too, but I couldn't help it, she is f*****g hot. I didn't notice it in the morning because of her loose clothes but when I go to her room tonight she was wearing pink shorts and a tank top which barely covers anything and I can see her curves. She was not wearing any bra because I could even see the outline of her n*****s and f**k her breast they will fit perfectly in my hands not too big not too small... I shouldn't have seen her like that but I can't take my eyes off her, she was beautiful so I saw every inch of her body like a creep. She must be thinking I am a paedophile. Ughhh great it is her first day in this house and I made her uncomfortable...

I have been trying to sleep for at least half an hour but again and again, her face had been coming in front of my eyes. Her beautiful green eyes looked so radiant when they met my dull green eyes and for some second I was so lost in them that I forget what I was even doing. I might have kissed her but then I realized she called me brother and all those sinful thoughts were gone from my head and replaced by guilt and disgust. I came back to reality and then run away from her. Again. She must be thinking I am an i***t.

Thinking about all of this, I started laughing at myself if someone saw me like that they will think that I am psycho or maybe I am a little bit psycho. This had never happened to me I never felt like this towards any women, not even for Georgia. I think this is all happening because I am sexually frustrated...yeah, that can be...maybe I should finally f**k someone? f*****g No, I better not do that again. Shaking my head, I stood up from my bed, perhaps a small walk will help to get clear my head so I can finally sleep.

I abruptly get out of my room and started walking towards the garden, one of my favourite places. Mia's room was right next to my room. The door of her room was not completely closed but the lights were off so, probably she was sleeping. Two of our most loyal men are her bodyguards they were sitting right next to her door, fully aware.

I hadn't used to that kind of security but when last month Gambino's whole family was murdered in their own house...then I realized how f****d up our situation is. Gambinos are one of the strongest Italian mafia families. Nobody is safe now until that sharif and his men are outside, waiting for our one wrong move so they can finish us all... just like they did to the American mafia family. They even kill Albert Gambino's youngest daughter who was just 4 years old.

" Is she asleep?" I asked Giovanni.

He is not only my worker but also one of my close friends. Giovanni is just 23 but when I saw him fighting in the arena, I know he will be one of my strongest men.

"Don't know boss, I didn't see inside her room but she didn't come outside for the past one hour so probably she is sleeping", Giovanni replied. He is allowed to call me by my name but I don't know why he still called me boss, weirdo.

" She might get bored of us when we didn't reply to her " Aston butt in chucking like an i***t. He is also one of my loyal men but he is not so close to me even though he proved his loyalty so many times but sometimes I get irritated by his humour. That bastard never gets serious. He is 35 but acts like a f*****g teenager.

"What do you mean?" I asked, a little irritated by his warm brown eyes gaping at me.

"Nothing serious Roman looks like she was getting bored and wanted to know us, especially Giovanni but he didn't reply to her, not even told her his name so she called him mamma bear saying that name suits his personality," Aston replied, still snickering, what is so funny anyway.

Why mia was talking to them, is she insane? But I am happy that Giovanni knew his limit. No bodyguard is allowed to talk to her, my father ordered them...and for the first time, I am happy with my father's decision. All the men are loyal but they all are just like me and I don't want any of them to go near her.

"You are here to protect her not to entertain her Aston anyway Are there two guards stationed under her window?" I asked

" Maybe, we didn't check yet " Giovanni replied, making me glare at him...how could they be so irresponsible.

We Didn't need so much security before Mia and her mother came here because I and my father were capable of taking care of us but we can't risk their safety now. Even though no one knows that my father was a mafia boss just some gossip but still that Sherif already killed many of the Italian mafia families which is why we can't risk anything.

I entered her room to check her window and the guards but deep down I knew that I had just wanted a reason to see her. I am seriously turning into a f*****g creep.

Mia was sleeping peacefully in her bed. Her perfect curves were clearly visible in that small shorts and a thin top. Curtains were open so the light of the moon was falling on her creamy white skin. f**k, She looked like a goddess. The urge to touch her creamy thighs was so bad...How soft she is, I wonder what it will feel like when I lick and bite those delicious-looking thighs. f**k Roman, not again I shouldn't think like that. I shook my head and strolled near her window. I came here to check the guards not my sister's body. What is gotten into me? I was surviving without s*x from two years and I didn't even get hard that much after that accident... my therapist said that it was all in my head. I am physically capable but there is some psychological problem. But the way my f*****g d**k is acting since morning I am sure as hell it's just because I am not killing anyone and I need pleasure. There is no way I am getting hard seeing a f*****g teenager.

I checked the window were closed and two guards had stood just below her window. I noticed a cello just near her bed. Umm, so she knows how to play. I will love to listen to her playing, I used to play the piano when I was a child but unfortunately I have a psycho father who didn't allow me to play it.

I turned around to leave the room but again my eyes fell on her sleeping body. Her face faced the window, pale moonlight was falling on her beautiful face. Her eyelids were so big that they were touching her cheeks. Her delicious lips... pink and pouty. how will they look around my dick... small of her cleavage was visible. What the...No, no f**k I can't see her like that, I closed my eyes and shook my head, taking a deep breath, I picked up a blanket and put it over her body because she was shivering. I hurriedly left the room, without looking back at her. Remember this, never go to her room while Mia is sleeping.

And tomorrow either I am going to kill and torture someone or I am going to f**k. I am still afraid to do sex... what will happen when I lost control again, but it's better than getting hard seeing my little sister. Tomorrow I am going to act like a big brother not like a creepy paedophile.

Thinking about this I lay in my bed and closed my eyes maybe now I could finally get some sleep...