“Kay, baby where have you been?”
“Nowhere mom, I got caught up after the party last night.”
“Last night, what party?”
“The same party I went out with Care. Told her I would catch up with you all today and here I am catching up. So what's up?”
They all looked at each other. I could swear the temperature in the room dropped below zero. Dad was more pissed off within the three two minutes I arrived. Looking at Carrie-Ann's teary eyes and mom’s bewildered look had my head spinning.
“Sit”
That growl again. Hurriedly taking the closest seat next to mom, in no time she had me wrapped in her arms crying. Confusion hit me like a brick wall, I’ve never seen mom cry. Not even when her brother died two years ago.
“Kaylene, I’m going to ask you this one more time and you better not give us that bullish lies about no party that was five days ago. Where the hell have you been?”
Hold up, did he just say five days ago? That can’t be. How could I possibly have been gone for that long and not remember? Where have I been, what happened before I woke up at SandDust and how did I end up there? My head was spinning, the dull headache came back with a vengeance till I was left seeing stars and then nothing at all.
I woke up in my room with an IV in my arm. Doesn't this bring back memories? Looking around the room, I see mom sleeping on the chair next to my bed. The lights are low and from the lack of light outside, I know it’s night. Trying to get up without disturbing mom, I shuffle a little till I’m in a sitting position.
The headache is gone but I feel sore all over. Trying to recollect the events that led me here to no avail, I took out the IV and slowly made my way to my bathroom. Even though I’m barely here, everything is where I left them or was replaced by my ever-thoughtful mother.
Turning the shower to its highest level, make sure the water is hot enough to boil a spring chicken. Once in, the tension in my body slowly relaxes. The comments about my five-days absence creep into the front of my consciousness but the events that led to it are nowhere to be found. I know my parents are waiting for an explanation, but for the first time, I don’t have one.
I’ve never lied to them, never had the need but telling them that I have no recollection of the past five days doesn’t seem all that ideal. To know that not only did their messed up adopted daughter disappear for five days, miss her own birthday dinner and graduation but have no memories of it occurring. Even for me, that’s outright ludicrous. They already think I’m crazy, how are they going to feel about me now?
Stepping out of the scalding shower, I hear their voices in the room. Even though they’re whispering I can still hear the anger seeping from dad. I’m tempted to lock myself up in the bathroom, but I know better. I have witnessed dad breaking down doors before for doing just that. Walking into the connected closet, I got dressed into my favorite anime pajama set and head out to the room to meet my fate. Lord, can you hear me now?
“Glad you can grace us with your presence”
“I’m sorry dad”
“Sorry for what exactly? Sorry, that you disappeared for five days leaving your mother and me to worry sick, or are you sorry that you finally showed up so consumed that you ended up in a two-day slumber?”
“Sorry for everything but I promised that I didn’t take anything, I just had a few drinks and vaped a few times, nothing more. I don’t know about the five days I can’t remember them. I’m sorry.”
By that time, I was in tears. The disappointment radiating through them was enough to put me in tears. I had promised to stop the drugs and I did, only using the cannabis pen to calm my nerves. My parents never yelled at me, no matter what I’ve done or how messed up I was, they never raised their voices.
Honestly, I only had three incidents when anyone ever yelled at me. The first was my dad's parents when I was a kid which dad made sure to never happen again. The other two were two different incidents with girls from school, one ended up in the hospital and the other gained a third eye. I got expelled for both. I found myself smiling at the memories but I seriously need to focus. I'm in deep ish right now.
“So, you’re telling us that you have no recollection of the past five days, or how you had enough substance in your system to kill an ox?”
I guess my face showed my surprise and terror cause mom came running to pull me into her arms. We both cried. I wish I had the answers to those questions, but I didn’t and I’m not sure how long it would be till I did. If I ever did.
“Baby girl, we can’t do this with you anymore. Something must give.”
“I know dad, but I’m not lying. I’ve never lied to any of you. I haven’t touched any of that stuff for a year now and the last thing I remember was leaving that party.”
“I believe you, and it’s because I believe you that I’m not locking you up in a program center a few states away or cutting you off. We understand that things didn’t start off easy for you and you’re still suffering but we need you to grow the f*ck up and get your s**t together. That includes getting clean, no drinking, no nothing. And you’re moving back in till further notice.”
“Yes, Sir” I received that look that tell me my answer just like my life needed readjustment.
“I mean yes dad”
“Good, get dressed. We’re going for a run in thirty minutes. Don’t even think about complaining”
Leave it to this brute to start off his version of punishment with running drills. Who even thinks about such things? Thirty minutes later the man had me running till my lungs gave out and even after that I was forced into a grueling sparring match. Can you imagine my small 5’3 one hundred and twenty-pound self sparring with that over imposing nightmare of a father?