His Broken Mafia Queen

2. B E N

He looks so peaceful. So innocent and unaware of the hassle awaiting for him in life. I envy him. I want to be that peaceful too.

A smile grazes his bubbly face as his closed eyes wrinkle at the sides. Just the image of him lying asleep and smiling on whatever dream he was having had my heart warming and aching at the same time. Warming because his smile so far is the only thing that had me feeling something other than despising everything in life. Aching because his father didn't get the chance to witness the bundle of joy he created.

"Thank you for watching him, Ben, while I was in the shower." Jane marched out of the attached bathroom to her bedroom, freshly clean with her damp hair sticking to her face. "I really needed that." She smiled gratefully at me, her once dull eyes having a bit of life in them once again since Damien was born four months ago. Her body is slightly filling due to breastfeeding as blood rushed back to her cheeks. She still does not look the same as Jane as before, but who is? We all changed a lot during these past years. We lost a lot, and we can never have it back.

"You also need to sleep better than that, Jane." I looked pointedly at her from the bed as she stood before the mirror brushing her hair. "Your eyes always look tired, and your eyebags increased." Our eyes met through the mirror reflection for a second before she averted them away.

"You know how Damien is, being a newborn and all…"

"Stop with the bullshit, Jane." She tried to reason, but I cut her off. "You are not alone. We are all here for you. Even if I don't live here with you, Mia, Jason, and Abby but I am almost here every night, so anyone of us can babysit if you just say the word."

"I know, Ben." She sighed, her hand falling from her hair as she laid the brush back on the dresser. "I just-- I…" She couldn't meet my eyes as her hands gripped the dresser's edge roughy. "He just reminds me so much of him." Her hands cupped her face as her sobs filled the room, and I felt like an a*s for upsetting her like that, but she needed to hear these words. "And I miss him so much, Ben." I couldn't sit still while watching her break apart before my eyes. I might not know the kind of pain she is in, but I lost not one but two women who I dearly loved and thought they felt the same. "So damn much that I can't help but imagine how damn of a good father he would have been to our son."

I gathered her in my arms, and immediately her body relaxed as she let it all out. "He would have been a great dad to Damien."

"And now Damien will grow up with no father because I cannot bring myself to fall in love with another man, Ben. I just can't."

"I know, sweetheart." He was her first and probably last love. He was her first in everything in her life. So, how could she get over such pure love? "But you also should know that Damien will not grow without a father figure in his life because we are all here for him. He does only have one father now; he has a bunch of idiotic males to look after him."

She chuckled lightly before pulling away. "He is one lucky boy, then for having you all in his life."

I wiped her tears away as her lips curved up slightly into a cute smile. "He sure is, sweetheart."

"We both are lucky." She pulled me back into a hug as she murmured, "Thank you, Ben."

My phone started vibrating in my back pocket, and I knew exactly who that was. It was time. "Don't mention it, sweetheart." I pecked her head before pulling away. I needed to leave like right now. "Now, go take a nap while he is asleep." She nodded, then we bid goodbye, and I left her to have some eye shut before Damien wakes up again and keeps her up all night.

"I know I am late," I answered once I shut her bedroom door behind me. "Five minutes, and I will be there."

"You better be, Michales, or I will give your spot to someone else." His scratchy voice greeted my earbuds as I ran down the stairs.

"Don't f**k with me, Skull; I said I would be there." I ended the call not in the mood to hear his bullshit.

"Hey, hey, why the rush?" I almost tumbled over Mia's tiny body as she appeared out of nowhere before me once I reached the living room.

"Have to be somewhere." I tried to brush past her, but the sneaky little stubborn woman wouldn't let that happen.

"Yeah, I gathered." She lifted an eyebrow at me challengingly. "Where is that 'somewhere' that you run off to every other night when supposedly you are spending the night with us, but you never do."

"Just let it go, Mia," I say and try to bypass her, but again, she blocked my path.

"Why? So you would go to wherever shady place you go to then disappears for days on us!?" She narrowed her eyes at me. "What the hell has been going on with you for the past four months since we came back from Italy?" Obviously, I wouldn't tell her because I know the kind of scene she would make, then they will hold this stupid trial or intervention of theirs to have me coming back to my senses. But guess what? I do not want to get back to my senses. I like it just like that. Before I could utter some stupid excuse once again, the front door slammed shut, alerting the arrival of someone. But who would that be coming so late? "Blake?" Mia wondered once he came into view.

"Oh, hey guys." He seemed startled to find us. "Didn't think you would be awake." Clearly, something was happening with him. He looks annoyed or something. "I will just head up to one of the guest rooms."

"Wait, why are you here?" Taking that as my cue with Mia busy interrogating Blake, I decided to sneak out. "Did something happen back home with-- BEN!!" she shouted after me once she realized I was already opening the front door. "I swear to god i--"

"Night, Mia," I yelled before slamming the door after me and hurrying to my car, blocking all the profanities she would be firing at me by now.

Sometimes I feel bad for her, honestly. She is always in charge, trying to take care of everyone while trying to stay the solid stubborn g**g leader she was. And to be honest, none of us are making it easy on her or Jason. They bear a lot of our bullshit and rarely complain. Not to mention that their mansion is always sheltering us. I honestly have no idea without them how we would have survived that long.

Fifteen minutes later and I was already parking my car, then started making my way to the underground ring. I made my way towards the centered ring, pushing my way through drunken assholes who were getting out their money to bet on or against me.

"You are late, Michales," Skull remarked once I was before my side of the ring. I rolled my eyes at the skinny bare-headed guy, whose face had no meat or blood in them; he actually looked like a walking skeleton, hence the nickname skull. "I am deducting that out of your share of tonight."

"Whatever," I muttered under my breath while taking off my shirt to fight in my jeans. I didn't fight for the money, anyway. And I am not here to 'actually' fight. I came here for a whole other reason- a suicidal one it might be, but who cares? "Tell me the drill for tonight."

"Straight to business as always, Michales." He smirked, his ugly yellow teeth hurting my eyes as his tongue swiped over his gold front tooth.

"Cut the chit-chat, Skull," I growled. "I don't have all day."

He seemed not to like my tone but, for some reason, ignored it and went on. Skull was the owner of this small underground baring or something. I don't really care what they call it. And he always hosts illegal fights and has people bet on the fighters. Usually, these fights are arranged -the winner and the loser are agreed on beforehand for certain high-profile people. "You are up against, Bullocks, here." He motioned at a bulky guy with a ponytail who, when You see you, indeed say bullocks. He is so f*****g huge, and he seems to be only good at glaring. I know I will be crushed in a matter of seconds. I will be beaten to s**t today, but hey, that's the point! "You will let him win tonight, and you will get your regular cut by the end of the fight."

"Okay," I said, my eyes taking every inch of Bullocks as I jumped on the ring. I jumped from one onto the other, waiting for them to signal for the fight to start so I can take all the beating of today.

Ding. The bell signaled the start of the fight, and I did not have time to react or prepare before I found myself lying flat on my back. Damnit! This Bullocks' guy seems not to be joking around.

"Easy there, dinosaur," I groaned while trying to stand back up. My back aches like f**k. "we are only getting started." Base don his growl; he didn't seem to like the nickname I gave him as he once again charged at me like the raging bull he is. He slammed my back to the pole in the ring's corner. "f**k!" I groaned from the instant pain shot throughout my back. "I was not aware you are so touchy when it comes to nicknames, Bull-boy." It might be wise not to irritate him, seeing as he fights like aggressively but who said anything about being smart? I came here to get beaten up -to feel pain.

The dinosaur growled once more, and like a rag doll, he dragged my body and slammed it to the floor once again, this time on my stomach. Then he started kicking me. Every kick he aimed at my face, back, or legs had me feeling as if I was pierced with a bunch of needles everywhere. He caught my leg and turned me on my back then his huge fat body straddled mine.

His fists threw a punch after another on my face. I did not yell in pain for once so far. Nor did I try to fight him. I came here to lose. I came here to feel anything, and right now, this was helping. His punches intensified, and I could feel the trail of blood on my face and neck. He punched my nose, and I heard the c***k of the bones, and the only thing I thought that damn, this would take more time to heal; thus, I would have to disappear on my friends more now. I hope they do not notice my absence. By now, I could barely keep my eyes open. I am pretty sure they are swollen as well, as this guy is brutal. His kicks, punches, and everything he does is f*****g monstrous. I am sure I heard the bell signaling the end of the fight, though. Yet, the gorilla did not move an inch, nor he stopped punching me. "Love my face that m-much..." I coughed between punches. "T-to adopt i-it as-as your p-punching bag." I flashed him a smile with blood pooling around the corners of my mouth, and he furrowed his brows.

"You are a sadist." For the first time since this fight started, I heard his grumpy voice.

"Who isn't." He shook his head at me and retreated his hands. "Hey! why stop punching me? the fight is not over yet!" Technically it is, but the people here do not mind when the fighters bend the rules a bit and go on with the fight.

The guy looked down at me with disgusted eyes. "Weirdo." I rolled my eyes, or I thought I did because I could barely feel them anymore. I heard the commotion around me as the people around cheered for Bullocks for winning the fight, and I toned them all out. I closed my eyes, waiting for Skull's men to some, and throw my beaten-up body to outside.

Yes, they are that heartless. They do not care if I am being treated for my injuries or not. They only make sure that I am conscious then throw me out with the money I gained for the night.

As if on cue, cold hands gripped my beaten-up body, and I could feel myself being swooped away. "About damn time..." I muttered, but I doubt they could hear me over all the cheering. A rush of chilly air wrapped around me, and I knew we were finally outside. They dropped me on the gravel floor, and I groaned loudly at the impact but did not mind the pain. "Thank you for your kindness, gentlemen." I managed to open my eyes a bit, and they look anything but gentlemen. They are a bunch of thugs. What did I expect? As I was trying to pull myself off the floor, I noticed that the thugs did not move like they usually do after throwing me outside; in fact, they were rolling their fists and watching me weirdly. "Can I help you with something?" I lifted my brows to one of them, who later started to advance towards me, with the rest following in tow. "Hey, what the hell is going on?" Two of the guys held me from my arms and roughly handled me until I was kind of standing on my wobbly legs. "Let go of me, assholes!" I tried to slip out of their hold, but who am I kidding? I was beaten up shitless. And it seems like I would be having round two soon. "Why the hell are you doing that? what did I do to you?" A third guy came before me and threw a punch at my face straight to my already broken nose. "f**k!" I spat blood then a hand gripped my head up from my hair. I winced from the pain in my scalp, then was met with Skull's too-familiar gold tooth poking my eyesight. "S-Skull..."

"This is for disrespecting me and using such asshole tone." His ugly face invaded the narrow view I had from my cracked-up eyes as his hideous breath fanned my face that I wanted to puke.

"Pussy." I spat in his face and watched admirably as my spat glistened on his skeleton face before he wiped it clean.

"Beat him up until he can no longer breathe." Holy s**t! That's how I will die? Well, it was about goddamn time then. I didn't get to ponder over that thought before I found myself once again thrown the floor, watching Skull's footsteps fade away while shoe after another greeted my every available inch of my body. Skulls' men did not have mercy on me as they kicked my face, stomach, back, legs and arms. They kicked me everywhere that I no longer could barely move a muscle. However, I welcomed the pain. In fact, I did not mind it at all. I knew I don't have much left. I won't be able to hold up anymore.

However, before I could surrender to the darkness and let the thugs do whatever they desire with my body, a screeching of car tires was heard, then the kicking stopped, followed by my groans, and the only thing I could listen to now is some gunshots and fighting. I could not open my eyes. I did not have any more energy left in me.

Then, I felt as if my body was being carried up once again. I could not recognize whether these were hands touching my body or not due to the pain the overridden all my other senses.

Suddenly, I was lying on something leathery and cold that I assumed to be a car seat. I cracked an eye open as much as I could to be met with very familiar angry eyes piercing through me. "If you are dying, you are only dying on my hands, asshole."

I tried to smile, but I am sure it turned out as a grimace. I was already done; I wanted to rest. "Welcome back, baby daddy."