Centuries of Sin : Book IV

30

Elizabeth watched with trepidation as Selene seemed to be considering the question seriously, despite her assertion that she didn't think she could answer the question by herself.

She kept on looking at Sawyer from the corner of her eye and she was clearly feeling uncomfortable with the fact he had asked her something so important when she had been raised to idolize his family.

She was silent for what felt like an eternity, but she hadn't turned to walk away and Elizabeth hoped that meant she wasn't going to reject them immediately.

She shrugged, and rubbed her arm, "I don't have any issue with it personally, if that's what you were asking..."

"But?" Elizabeth wasn't sure how to respond to Selene's hesitation, but she was far more nervous than she had expected to be.

"I don't think you'll get any arguments from most of the Pack about this..."

"Most of the Pack?" Sawyer sounded concerned, and Selene squirmed slightly when he looked at her directly. "You think there are people who would be upset by it?"

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, then?" Selene swallowed nervously and Sawyer exhaled slowly. "I'm sorry. This is just..."

"...important. I know; it's far too important for someone like me to decide alone, and you know that. We'll have to have a Pack meeting about this, and that will have to wait until we've had a meeting about Saga, so.. I don't know what people are going to think about any of this. I don't want to promise you anything when I don't know the answer, and... we should probably have a meeting about whether to accept you guys and Klara before that, and then they might want to do something official to accept you before you're technically members, so... "

"...so this isn't something that we can even think about for a while, is it?" Elizabeth sounded disheartened, but Selene looked her in the eyes and shrugged noncommittally.

"That's not what I said."

"I know it's not what you said, but it's what I heard."

'Elizabeth.'

Sawyer was warning her to be quiet, and it frustrated her because she felt like he was prioritizing the fact that Selene was feeling awkward over getting a clearer answer from her.

She folded her arms over her chest when Selene had gone, and Sawyer went and prepared food for them without acknowledging anything that had just happened.

She stalked into the kitchen after him when she realized he was taking the time to prepare a proper meal, and he seemed to be ignoring her as he focussed on a pan of water as it heated on the stove top.

She had been frustrated and gone in to the kitchen searching for an explanation from him, but she felt guilty when she saw him and she sat down at the kitchen table.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" he didn't even bother to look at her.

"Because you've wanted this for significantly longer than I have, and I have no idea what the hell a Pack meeting is, but I am pretty sure she was telling us not to hold our breath."

Sawyer turned the stove off, leaving the bubbling water to simmer down as he approached Elizabeth and sat down at the table opposite her.

"I never really understood people like Selene before I had to live with her..."

"...you mean Omegas?"

"Yes... I had never taken the time to get to know people like her before, and it's not like my dad had respect for anyone with no status."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Elizabeth was confused, and trying not let the pang of jealousy she was acutely aware of come through in her tone.

"I know what she's like, and I know what she was saying; she just couldn't say it."

"And apparently you don't feel like explaining it."

Sawyer leaned back in the chair and looked at Elizabeth for a moment.

It made her heart race and she had to look away from him but he wasn't trying to tease her and he hadn't been frustrating her deliberately.

"Do you want me to tell you? Or to explain properly? Because I can tell you what she meant, but I think it would benefit you more if I took the time to explain how I read between the lines."

"I wasn't really looking for a psychology lesson, but I know you're going to give me one whatever I say."

He smiled, and resisted the urge to do anything to frustrate her as she fixed her eyes on his.

"What do you think she was telling us, Elizabeth?"

"That we won't even be able to ask permission to have a kid until we are officially members here, and that means we're pretty low on the agenda when they're planning a bunch of tedious meetings in a room with a big desk and a fancy chair like the one we f****d in at your family home?"

Her response was overly sarcastic, but she was only responding like that because she wasn't confident and she was feeling out of her depth again.

"That's what you heard, but she told us in very plain terms that you had misinterpreted the information she felt comfortable sharing with us. She told us that they have a lot of things to do before they can consider this if we want to ask about it, that it might take a while for us to be taken in as members officially, and that the way they are doing things is a little more traditional to what I had been expecting. What would you do with that information?"

"I would question why you are teaching me like this now rather than explaining things like this to me when it was still important."

He laughed softly and Elizabeth glared at him, but it didn't bother him.

"Because you would ordinarily have figured it out without me having to spell it out, I guess."

"She just told us she will vouch for us if we ask them to accept us, and that after that it could take a long time for us to reach a point where we can even ask about having a kid, and she made it clear to me that at that point we would have to discuss it with everybody because that is how they have decided they are going to run this place. She was telling us it's probably better not to ask."

"Oh..." Elizabeth sounded disappointed and it took a moment for Sawyer to realize she had misinterpreted what he said, too.

"She's saying there's no need to bother, not that we don't stand a chance if we do decide to ask. We're not pack members, and we're not obliged to ask; she's not going to hold it against us if we decide not to wait."