Centuries of Sin : Book IV

34

"Do you think she'll be happy?" Elizabeth was looking down at the baby Jonas had passed to her on the pretence of needing to go and fetch something.

He was standing in the doorway with a glass of water and he considered the question carefully for a moment before he answered her.

"I hope so; I'll certainly do everything I can to make sure she's happy."

Elizabeth looked up at him and sighed.

"I didn't mean Saga."

"I'm aware of that; I don't think you really want to talk about Francesca's happiness. You're not going to believe anything I say to you unless I tell you I think she'll be a hateful and miserable woman until the day she dies."

"I'm just trying to understand her and Sawyer cares for her because they only had each other but you still choose to love her despite everything she has done - I thought you might be able to help me see her as something other than ruthless."

"I don't choose to love her, Elizabeth - I just do. And I don't think you're wrong; she is ruthless. But she's also loyal; she is altruistic, and benevolent, and compassionate..."

"...and decent, empathetic, fair, gregarious... were you planning on going through the entire alphabet?" Elizabeth snapped, and immediately regretted it when she realized she was distressing the baby.

"She's all of those things and more; you don't have to believe me, but you did ask. I won't try to tell you that she's a perfect person; but she isn't a bad woman, either. She's a deeply flawed individual and she's done what you would consider terrible things, but she knows that; she isn't oblivious to it or in denial. But if she was as selfish as you think, you wouldn't have a mate. So, yes, I think she's going to be happy; and I firmly believe she deserves that happiness."

"Are you disappointed Saga's not a boy?"

Jonas laughed; his eyes crinkling with amusement.

"She's healthy - that's all that matters to me. I wouldn't have minded a son, but I didn't really care and I can honestly say I hadn't given it a great deal of thought. Why do you ask?"

"Because..." Elizabeth looked up from the baby and made awkward eye contact with Jonas, "...because of Linnea, I guess. You already had a daughter, and it might have been easier for her to come to terms with if you'd had a boy with Francesca."

"Linnea is angry and confused; I can't say I blame her, but she would have been angry no matter what. If I'd had a son she would have been bitter and assumed I value the life of a boy more than I valued her. As it stands..."

"...as it stands she heard you'd had a daughter through other people, and she doesn't know about the fact Saga is special but when she does find out she's going to act as if Francesca had a child with extraordinary powers simply to spite her."

"And that's an unfortunate way of looking at it, but she has chosen to lash out and act like a spoiled child more times than I can forgive - I'm sorry that her mother didn't want me to be involved in her life, and I could and should probably have done more to foster a relationship with her, but... I'm not perfect, either. I'm not going to abandon Saga just because Linnea is bitter that I wasn't there for her when she was growing up."

"She's not really bitter, Jonas. She's just sad and confused, and I can kind of relate to that. She doesn't feel like she belongs here anymore, and it's been her home since she was born. Don't you think there's something you can do to make things better? Because she left here thinking you wouldn't even notice, and that you wouldn't care even if you did."

"I'm not sure how to fix it, Elizabeth," he shrugged, "I really don't know what I can do; but I don't believe I've turned my back on her since we got here. She attempted to split me and Francesca up, and that choice nearly cost me my mate and my daughter - not to mention the fact my own nephew stabbed me. Now she has chosen to walk away, and as sad as that is it may be for the best that she left without seeing her sister."

"So... you're just going to let her leave?"

Jonas drained the glass of water he had been holding, and Elizabeth thought he was probably trying to hide the fact this was a difficult subject for him.

"What she did to Francesca when she was at her most vulnerable is unforgivable, and she may not have known about Saga but she put her in danger and I am neither compelled not obliged to go and find her. I don't hate her, and I don't want to punish her, but I don't really want her around Saga, either."

"You said Francesca's done some terrible things," Elizabeth changed the subject again, and it was so sudden that it almost caught Jonas off-guard. "What's the worst thing she's done?"

Jonas stared at her, his expression unreadable.

“Perhaps one day you'll be open minded enough to ask me what I consider her most impressive accomplishments."

"I’m just trying to understand her.”

“No; you are trying to justify your dislike of her. You’re never going to understand her, and I think you know that. You have your own flaws and you have your own insecurities - I suspect that if you knew everything that Francesca has done for the benefit of the people she cares about, you would feel very differently about her.”

"What exactly has she done that wasn't for her own benefit?"

Jonas was silent for a while, but he eventually sighed and shook his head slightly.

"That really isn't something I am comfortable sharing with you - it isn't my information to give. She chooses not to make a big deal about these things because she doesn't want people to know, but if you are looking for something tangible you are holding it in your arms."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"She has committed to living here and helping people who were initially not at all welcoming of her for the sake of our daughter; she doesn't stand to benefit from that personally, and she didn't use the fact Saga is special as leverage to gain more authority here. I don't understand why this is bothering you so much - did you really come here to discuss Francesca's flaws?"

"No, of course not," Elizabeth bit her lip, and stared down at the child in her arms. “I didn’t mean to imply that she's not going to do the right things for Saga, I'm just...”

"...doubting yourself?"

Elizabeth blushed, but nodded.

"I'm not doubting my decisions or anything. I guess you're the only reasonable person I feel comfortable talking to about this."

"And you considered berating the mother of my child an appropriate way of engaging in conversation?"

"I didn't mean it that way," Elizabeth frowned. "I respect you a great deal and I value your opinions. You've been very patient with me when you didn't have to be, and I need someone to talk to about my doubts."

"You do; and I'm happy to talk to you, Elizabeth. But try not to make this about Francesca. Your insecurities are nothing to do with her."