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1296 Words
Francesca waited until she was sure Saga was sleeping before she collapsed onto her bed and closed her eyes.
She was exhausted, and she needed to rest, but she didn't want to admit it and she felt defensive when Jonas came and lay down next to her, even though he hadn't said anything.
"You really did expect me to explain myself, then?"
He laughed, and she opened her eyes to shoot him a warning glance.
"Francesca, you called me terrifying. I don't think it's wrong of me to ask you why you think that, is it?"
She sighed, and shook her head, but she didn't sit up and she still didn't really want to explain.
"Terrifying was probably not the right word…"
"...says the woman who is always meticulously careful with her choice of words."
Francesca sighed again.
"I wasn't being serious. It's just… when you pulled me onto your lap like that, I realized you're a lot stronger than I am. I've never thought of you that way before, but I couldn't have stopped you if I tried."
"You really will do anything to deny the fact you're still not back to your full strength, won't you?"
She swallowed, but shook her head again.
"I'm not wrong about this. You've been hiding how strong you are, no matter how much you insist that you're getting old. And… Saga didn't just come from me; we both made her. I think you have abilities you don't admit to, and I think that's how you can relate to me; you understand why I hide some things about myself because you have secrets of your own."
Jonas laughed and reached out to hold Francesca's hand.
"You don't think you're reading too much into the fact I pulled you onto my lap to show you I wasn't making fun of you?"
"I trust my instincts," she responded seriously, "and sometimes they tell me that you should be feared."
"Well…I don't think I would be guaranteed to win if I got into a fight with your brother, and I'm sure you would win if we ever fought..."
"...you could have killed my father a very long time ago and you chose not to do that. You chose to live there - to let him treat you with no respect - when you knew you could have killed him if you wanted to."
"Your pack would never have accepted me in his place, and I had nowhere else to go - what good would it have done if I killed your father? It doesn't mean I was hiding something; it means I'm more concerned with my self-preservation than power I don't really want."
Francesca sat up and let go of his hand.
"We could have done incredible things together if things were different..."
"...we have done incredible things together - all of us - and I don't think there's any point in wondering what might have happened if things were different . Your brother could have lived a very different life, your father could have been killed any number of times, we could both have been killed after you rejected me, you could have refused to give me a chance."
"It's not like I regret the way things happened for us...for any of us..." Francesca sighed, and stared over at the baby as she slept. "I've just had too much time to think about stupid things."
"Stupid things like whether I have been harbouring a dark secret all this time?" Jonas rested his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off and narrowed her eyes as she looked at him.
"Stupid things like what might have happened if I let my brother self destruct, or what would have happened if Elizabeth knew about her father before they met. There's nothing stupid where you're concerned and..."
"...and what? Do you want me to tell you I have been hiding something from you?"
Francesca looked at him for a while, then sighed and shook her head.
"No - I obviously don't want that. I just needed you to know...I get that feeling about you sometimes. Whether it's justified or not doesn't really matter."
"Do you trust me?"
Francesca shrugged casually in response. "I trust you."
"Good."
"Good? "
"Yes," he nodded , "you trust me, and I trust you. That's all that matters." Francesca smiled, but she wasn't exactly comforted by what he was saying and he reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder. "Are you going to talk to me about what you got up to without me now, or are you still convinced I'm going to do something unspeakable to you?"
Francesca smiled, but she realized he was being serious and she felt guilty for telling him he scared her sometimes.
"I just went out to the forest with my brother; it was no big deal. It was nice, though. - I didn't think he would ever forgive me, but he actually wanted to spend time with me and he wasn't so distant. I guess he just needed time."
"What makes you think he doesn't want a kid anymore?"
Francesca frowned, but she could see that Jonas was waiting for her to answer.
"I didn't say that. He's just worrying about everything that could possibly go wrong - it's what he does. He's afraid that Elizabeth will change her mind, or that she'll get hurt, or that they won't be accepted here... he stopped short of telling me he's scared of aliens arriving out of the blue to destroy the Earth, but he might as well have been thinking it. It's not that he thinks he can protect her from all of those things if he has time, he just doesn't want to be overprotective and he knows he would be right now. He's trying to do the right thing; I don't think he's wrong."
Jonas nodded, and reached out to brush his fingers through her hair.
"I don't either, but he's not exactly got a great track record with making responsible decisions."
"He was serious about this...about doing the right thing. I would appreciate it if you didn't make him feel bad about it if that doesn't happen, though; it's not as if your track record is spotless, is it?"
Jonas laughed, and shook his head.
"No, I suppose it's not. And it's not really any of our business, but..."
"...you're making sure he's not going to end up getting hurt, because that could put Saga in danger."
"Yeah, something like that; I suppose that makes me terrifying?"
Francesca exhaled, and looked down at her hands - she was still feeling guilty about admitting she was afraid of him sometimes.
"I had the same concern the moment he told me - I'm happy for him, but I won't let him put our daughter in danger no matter what he has been through. It doesn't make you terrifying - it makes you a good father."
"Elizabeth asked if we're going to have any more children… I know she was only making conversation, but it made me think…"
"...did I seem comfortable at any point during that pregnancy? I love Saga, but I am not going through that again, so you can forget about whatever you've been thinking."
Jonas laughed dryly and ignored the way Francesca was glaring at him.
"That's not what I was thinking. It made me think that she doesn't understand what Saga is. Your brother may have told her Saga is special, but I don't think she knows how special and...I think we may be overestimating how everyone is going to react to her. They might think the things people say about white wolves are exaggerated. What are we going to do if no one cares?"
- Writer
