Entangled In You

Terrified

Lilah POV

“Did you get a chance to look at the photos I sent over?” Liv walked into my apartment without knocking like she owned the place before kicking her thick, fur-lined boots off, and hanging her coat on the hook.

Her mannerisms were similar to Issac’s. Everything had to be prim and proper. She didn’t wear hats because it would frizz up her perfectly straightened hair. Her boots were placed right next to one another, lined up while mine were just kicked off and lying sideways in a melting puddle of snow. Her coat was hung by the little loop built into the back, where mine was hanging by the hood and touching the tile beneath it.

I hadn’t bothered looking at them because I'd chosen to pretend that I was not going to spiral the moment I saw that ship. Out of sight, out of mind.

But I lie, “Mhmm. They look nice.”

She narrowed her charcoal-lined eyes at me, “You," she jabbed her finger at me, "are a liar,” she grumbled, pulling her phone out and patting the couch for me to sit beside her. “All these years and you still think you can lie to me.”

I sighed, hanging my head dramatically, but she tisked, rushing me to come sit next to her.

“Humor me, please,” Liv stuck out her bottom lip, and I groaned, flopping down next to her and staring at the screen.

“This cruise is holiday themed with tons of fun activities planned throughout the duration of the cruise while still being a beautiful tropical vacation,” she started speaking as if she were a sales representative trying to get me to book a ridiculously overpriced vacation.

The first photo showed cookie decorating and gingerbread houses, the next was a reindeer petting excursion, breakfast with Santa every day, ugly sweater contests, the list goes on and on.

“The best part is that it’s entirely adult themed. NO. CHILDREN. ALLOWED,” Liv waggled her brows. I mean, I liked the idea of no children. That part was appealing. Everything else, not so much.

“You look like you’re going to vomit,” she whined.

“Just trying to hold in all of this excitement,” I muttered.

“Look, I promise you, this is going to be a good time. And you are helping your very best friend launch her social media blog. I mean, who doesn’t love Christmas?!” she gripped my shoulders, shaking them slightly.

CK didn’t love Christmas. It was a yearly reminder that he had killed his father. I didn’t like Christmas because I didn’t really have any family to spend it with and growing up, there were good memories and bad ones. Holiday's where my father kept my mother happy and pacified, and others where she screamed at me for being an ungrateful brat, ruining the magic of Santa by telling me he wasn't real when I was only six.

Lily was the only one who hadn’t distanced herself after my parents’ deaths, leaving me to celebrate alone for the holidays when she went back home to visit the rest of the family.

I’m sure there are millions of other people who have reasons not to love Christmas.

“This could be a fresh start. New memories to have for the holidays,” she thrust her phone at me to show off the more nefarious activities. Swimsuit “snowball” fights, Christmas shot bingo, partner Rudolf races, and Would You Rather: Naughty Edition.

If you catalog the fact that all of those things would be happening on a boat, it sounded like a blast.

The front door swung open, Issac walking in and eying the two of us. He nervously reached up, scratching through his perfectly gelled hair, “Liv, what are you doing here?”

“I called her over to tell her about our raunchy evening last night,” I waggled my brows, winking at him, but both of them looked horrified.

“Only joking,” I held my hands up, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “She came by to show off the plans for the cruise.”

Issac chuckled, breathing out a heavy sigh, “Ah yes, the infamous cruise.”

“Wait, I totally forgot to tell you….” My brows pinched together, “You already know?”

“Liv called me to see if you’d be down,” he turned his back towards me, hanging his jacket and placing his boots on the tray. “I told her you’d been doing well lately, and it would be worth a shot.”

“She agreed,” Liv chirped, her voice an octave too high, “We will be leaving in a few weeks. I’ll send you all of these photos too,” she waved the phone towards Issac, who offered her a warm smile, “Glad you were able to get the turtle out of her shell.”

“Hey, I’m no turtle,” I muttered.

“I was thinking recluse, but that sounded mean in my head,” Issac jested, coming around to flop on the couch next to Liv.

“There are two grand events where you will both need more formal attire. Then the obvious summer clothing, as well as a few Christmas sweaters,” Liv rattled off, and I cataloged everything she said, trying to focus on a list rather than my growing fear.

She was animatedly talking to Issac while I stared numbly at the wall, wondering if I’d made a massive mistake agreeing to all of this.

I wasn’t a planner, nor was I a social butterfly, and everything that she spoke about seemed to involve groups, teams, or parties. I liked my comfortable little circle of people, and didn’t care much about spending time with people I didn’t know.

“Earth to Lilah,” Liv tapped my leg, and I turned sharply towards her, arching a brow. “I asked if you were excited?”

“Sooooo excited,” I muttered.

“You could at least pretend,” Issac muttered under his breath, irritation present.

“What do you want me to say?” I leaned back, glaring at Issac, “I’m nervous as f**k. I haven’t been on the water since long before the accident, and I’m f*****g terrified of being stuck in the water in the middle of the f*****g Atlantic Ocean. I can’t run away on a boat.”

“Maybe you should try facing your fears, Lyles,” he softened his tone, “It’s been five years, and you’re not even taking baby steps.”

“Baby steps,” I gasped, “This isn’t a baby step. This is jumping out of a plane without a parachute, steps. I said yes, I’m just trying to get my brain to catch up with my heart.”

I’d agreed for my best friend, not for some healing bullshit.

Liv turned towards Issac, and they shared a look before she turned towards me, “I’m not upset,” she smiled, “I’m proud of you for considering it. You deserve to feel safe and happy, and I hope this shows you that you can kick trauma’s ass.”

“Thanks,” I swallowed down my emotions, “I’m actually looking forward to trying. I promise.”