Entangled In You

Don't fight for anything

Lilah POV

“I think we should break up,” Issac stood at the side of the bed, dressed for work. His hands were in the front pockets of his slacks, and the top buttons of his shirt were undone.

My eyelids fluttered, tickling my cheeks as I tried to focus on his face in my disoriented state, “I’m sorry, what?”

I blinked away the sleepiness, sat up in the bed, and stared at him with a mixture of pain and shock.

I know I heard him right.

His eyes looked darker than I remembered, and his normally perfectly styled hair was still damp from the shower he must have taken this morning.

Did he really come all the way home from the gym just to break up with me?

His hand moved to the nape of his neck nervously, “I just… I don’t know. I don’t feel the same way about us anymore, and I think we should break up. This isn’t going anywhere.”

“This conversation couldn’t wait until I was awake? You just thought about waking me up at,” I grabbed my phone, tapping the screen angrily as it also took a few moments to wake up, “Five forty-five in the morning and thought was the perfect time to end our relationship? What happened to talking about things?”

My voice sounded frantic as I shot off question after question, and I hated the vulnerability that was laced with every word. Issac was safe. Maybe I wasn't happy, but he was a given, and he knew about everything.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now,” he moved to sit on the bed, but a single glare from me had him frozen in place as he took a leveling breath. “I guess I just couldn’t find the right time to tell you.”

“So what, I surprised you with mid-game s*x, tell you we’re going on a cruise together, and you decided that now, right now, two days after the anniversary of the worst day of my life, was the time to end things between us?”

He scoffed, “I didn’t ask you for mid-game s*x, and I didn’t make that day the worst day of your life. That’s half the problem with us. You’re stuck in the past while the rest of the world keeps moving forward. I mean hell, Lyles,” Issac’s eyes sealed as if it pained him to say, “Every time I talk about the future, you clam up like you can’t even think past today.”

My lungs seized up as he said the words that I felt in my heart, but never expected to hear coming from his lips. We’d been drifting apart for months, but this came out of left field.

What hurts worse is that he’s not wrong. I sidestep every discussion of the future because the thought terrifies me. I can’t explain it to him because he doesn’t understand me. In the beginning, he’d beg me to help him understand, but how do you put into words that you feel like you’re being held back by unbreakable chains? How do you explain the feeling of taking two steps forward but being ripped three backwards when you don’t even understand it yourself?

Every relationship has patches where there is less spark, fewer conversations, less time spent together, but they work through it.

Anger flooded me as the shock dissipated, and I’d decided I wouldn’t beg him to stay. I wouldn’t beg anyone to be with me. I knew that I was damaged, and some days, I wasn’t the most loveable, but I also knew what I brought to the table, and if he couldn’t see that… then fine.

“Okay,” I nodded with resignation, “I’ll have your things packed up and sent to your parents’ house.”

Issac’s brows pinched together, “You have nothing to say?”

He had the audacity to sound upset when he’d just woken me up to break things off with me.

“What do you expect from me?”

“Did we mean anything to you?” he spat through gritted teeth.

“Don’t try and spin this around on me, Issac. You were the one who came to me to end things, not the other way around. I’m just accepting it,” I snapped, tossing the blankets off my body, “You can go now.”

Issac shook his head, “This is exactly why we don’t work. You don’t fight for anything. You’re too far up in your head to make space for anyone else. Did you even love me?”

“I said you can go,” I shouted, my chest rising and falling with labored breaths, and pointing towards the door and fighting the onslaught of emotions that threatened to drown me.

He shook his head, eyes shining with emotion as he turned on his heel, stomping out of what used to be ‘our’ room. The front door slamming signaled his exit, and a shaky breath left my lips.

My shoulders fell, and my body deflated, collapsing onto the floor. Pulling my knees to my chest, a sob tore through me and tears burned the backs of my eyes.

Did I miss something? Should I have fought harder?

Was my mother right when she said that fateful day was where my story ended?

Gripping my hair in my fingers, I tugged and pulled at the strands, “No,” a shaky breath shook my body, “I can’t let her win.”

I don’t know how long I sat on the floor, staring numbly at the emerald, green walls, but my ass ached like nobody’s business, and my limbs felt as stiff as a board when I stood up.

The sun peeked through the slit in my blackout curtains, and I grabbed my phone, seeing that I was two hours late for work.

Shit.

Lilly had called and texted endlessly, and I was surprised the police weren’t already at my door for a welfare check.

I quickly texted her back, explaining myself, with the promise that I’d be in shortly, and I didn’t want any argument, because knowing her, she’d tell me not to come in at all.

But I can’t sit here in a dark room all day with my thoughts. I needed to stay busy because it was the only way to keep my mind quiet.

I walked out of my room, glancing across the hall into my study that Issac had turned into his gaming space. The urge to go in and set fire to that stupid gaming set up washed over me, but I fought it, forcing myself in the opposite direction towards the door.

Fuck him and his stupid games and his cruel words that may or may not have been true. Just f**k him. That’s it.

On the way out, I made a phone call to the landlord, asking for the locks to be changed. She assured me that she’d have it done before the evening was up, and a new set of keys would be waiting for me in the main office.

When I got off this afternoon, I’d make it a point to erase his presence from my life.