Marcus BOOK 5 of the RAZORBACK MC

I sat there on my bike and watched my prez shoot another guy in the back of the head. Just another guy who looked at him funny on one of our drug runs. I took a breath and looked around before seeing a house not too far away. Prez had his fun as he pissed on the guy, and finally spit on him. Some of the patches that were technically family had already dug the grave, rolled the body into the hole and started to shove dirt over his body. He'd be nothing but a corpse soon, with the heat here in the desert. I looked up and around again and saw birds already flying high above us, hoping for a snack. I squinted and looked at the other guys with us on the cocaine run, I wasn't carrying but I was the one who carried the cash to buy the s**t. My hands touched the money not the drugs and Prez made sure of that. President of the Razorback Las Vegas chapter went by the name Monkey, or at least he used to. He could climb s**t like it was natural. I saw him scale a 10 foot impound gate alone with no help. He got over and got our last Prez's bike back when he was just a patch in. He could climb anything. Even the ladder of the club until he was in charge. His real name was Maxwell Davis. Stepson of the former VP of the club, and he made sure everyone, even me, know it. I remembered the first time I saw the little scum. I was 17, he was 14, new to the biker world, and tried to hang out with all the men. Even I didn't do that. I knew the boundaries, kids underage don't get involved. He was put in his place quickly, told to f**k off and to stop acting like he was down for the club when he wasn't even a patch. I was already a patch, started when I was 15 and when I hit 18 I was added in on the lowest level above patches. I got my tat, I got my cut, and I worked my way up from being a counter, to a mule, to a dealer. I was busted, all of us were at one point in time. I did a couple years in prison and was out quickly. I had filled out on the inside though, and when I came back to the club, he had worked his ass up from puke to new VP, taking over his step dad's position. I kept my head down and did as I was asked. I didn't know what he did to the Prez I knew, but it wasn't long until he was calling the shots and Prez was gone. I buried my dad, my sister, and my mom was close to being put in the ground when I was kind of done with all the bullshit the club was getting into. It used to just be drugs, some weed, a little coke, nothing too dangerous. But as soon as Max took over... he was dealing drugs, women, and guns. It was getting dangerous to even talk to the fucker. If he didn't trust you and you questioned him... bullet in the back of the head to show the rest of us who was boss. I worked as a small launderer. I had a record so he didn't want me too close to the actual 'merchandise' in case my P.O. or some cop did a search and detain detail on me. I took manager classes, got in to the positions at a restaurant and a strip club. I did my job well and with no f*****g problems. I did some security for the Prez when he demanded it, and I made sure my count was always good so I didn't end up on my knees and buried in the f*****g dessert. Looking around now I was still f*****g paranoid one of the guys knew about me. The FBI showed up at the restaurant one day, pretended to want to buy the place and I pretended to be interested in their offer. Most of the waitresses there weren't club bunnies so it was safer than them coming in and trying to get in good with the strip joint. They asked me if I wanted immunity. Told me that they knew I did some s**t in my past but they could tell I wasn't using and I wasn't dealing anymore. I told them that club life didn't really work that way. I told them that I had to work for the club as a brother. I didn't want to lose my life, and I didn't want to die either. They offered me a deal. They'll give me immunity if I give them information. A body or two, names, and of course contacts. I gave them enough to trust me our first meeting, and the next... I met the Federal Attorney on my side and she gave me a contract to sign. I signed away my rights and for 10 months I made sure to put my ear against doors and put my foot in meetings. At the bust I was made sure to be roughed up until I was knocked out by an agent and made sure the word of me being released traveled because of all the excessive force used by the FBI. Not to mention they really didn't mirandize a knocked out biker. It took two days to hear back from some other Chapters I wanted to join, thankfully there was one just on the other side of the boarder and I got to join the land of the California Razorbacks. This time I was under a guy with the actual nickname Razor. Ryan was a good guy, he had an old lady, his second had an old lady... and they didn't deal in drugs, women, or guns. s**t the most illegal thing they did was loansharking but even that was kind of easy to get away with even outside of an MC. I left the FBI, the trials, and the s**t of my last club behind me and was glad for the new start. Thankfully that meant I might be able to actually be like the guys I met the first night there, happy, even if that means finding someone to be committed to. TARA'S POV: Age: 19 aka 8 years ago I snorted the white dust and felt it hit my blood stream before I even opened my eyes. It always felt so good knowing I did an entire line. I rocked my head back and looked around the bathroom before seeing the door open slowly. I smiled as I heard the music and headed out to find my friends. I got distracted, danced with some men, had a few more drinks, I didn't care. I was free, I was away from my mother, I was away from my brother...I was free to do whatever the f**k I wanted. I tried every kind of drug, I took all the shots, I f****d whoever I wanted when I wanted. I went to class, took my quizzes, and I was having a good time. Until the night I ended up in the ER. Well technically I woke up the next morning and could barely move. I hurt all over, my face felt swollen, and my throat hurt. Bad. I pushed the red call button for a nurse and one lady came in. She was older, looked at me as if she felt sorry for me and then she started to tell me what happened. "You needed your stomach pumped. We ran some tests when you came in. Positive for rohypnol, cocaine, and codeine. You must have passed out quickly. With that dose of drugs you would have likely OD-ed. You were sexually assaulted, do you remember who attacked you last night?" I shook my head and looked down at my body. "You were barely covered when a woman found you against a fence. You had a belt around your neck like someone was using it as a way to strangle you." She went on and I felt more and more disgusting as she went on. I cried and felt the pain my throat as I kept trying to speak. "If it hurts you to speak darling, don't. Do you have anyone you want us to call? Your mother? Brother? Father?" I shook my head right away and turned slightly. There was no way that I was going to tell Ry or my mother what happened. Ryan would go on a man hunt, my mother would just tell me this was all my fault. I stayed in the hospital for 4 days. Vaginal tearing, bruised ribs and windpipe, some cuts and scraps along my back and legs. Not to mention some holes in my story for the cops. I didn't remember anything past the first two shots at the club. I denied taking any drugs myself, they searched and didn't find any drugs in my things at school... and when the whole case went cold... I headed home after just one semester. Decided to finish my courses online or at a local college. I had issues after that. The only men I let touch me were the brothers at the club. The only drinks I swallowed were the ones I made myself... and I never really dated. There were flings with safe men who I made sure knew we wouldn't be anything after. Nerds at first, letting them down gently with the subtle reference to my brother the towns MC president. I scared off a lot of 'nice' guys like that too. Hell... I dated Avery Oswald, had s*x with him before I realized that he wasn't going back to the Marines. But he was a good guy, so I let it carry on until he started to talk about dates, and long term needs. I shook my head thinking back on it. He was kicked out of my bed and my s****l fantasies faster than a virgin m**********g for the first time. I let him go, and then he became an MC brother. I knew that we would have to talk about not talking about us, but he seemed ok with it. He moved on after a few months. Was even in love before too long. His little girlfriend was a little questionable, but he was also ruining it by leaving her high and dry. I got to the bar a couple minutes before he ran out to head out. I made sure that he didn't pay too much attention to me, he had a girl to get back after all. I liked Gemma, she was sweet and innocent, everything I wasn't. I made sure that he was ok when I saw him again. And then he told everyone... well Jackie did, that they were expecting a baby and then we were all invited to the little party where he proposed, and it was nice to see him get something he deserved. Avery was a good man, but even after our time together I knew he could never be my man. He was still too sweet. He wasn't what I needed and I still wasn't sure who or what I needed. If I needed a man. But every night I went back to the club house, surrounded and protected, I felt lonelier and sadder than usual. I wanted someone, just wasn't sure what or who I thought could make me feel better. There was a second when I thought I could be alone, maybe start dating for real... even after all that's happened to me, all the things that made me not trust men... but that fear always made me step back, keep a distance.... let the good guy go so he can find someone just for him. I still had nightmares that I can't really figure out, and to actually tell someone what happened to me? That would be like telling them that I let it happen because I just wanted to have fun. I had scars and memories that would never go away... as well as a case that I still got calls about every three months.