Victorian Nights: The Arranged Marriage

Angry

Late at night, I couldn’t sleep. Everything that happened today kept replaying in my head continuously. I couldn’t help the tears that slipped out of my eyes and soaked my pillow afterwards.

This is not what I wanted, I know I was not expected to be happy despite being married to the crown Prince…but at least things should not have turned out like this…I didn’t understand why Marcus hated me so much and why the queen was bent on making my life here a nightmare

Stay silent.

It is what I’ve been thought my entire life…despite what I feel my emotions don’t matter because I have to be the perfect crown princess…perfect.

Another tear slips down my face and soaks into the pillow. I turn my head and bury my face in it and let out all of my pent up emotions. I hear the door open, my body goes rigid immediately. My crying ceases and I try to regulate my breathing. I’m hardly ever awake when Marcus finally decides to retire for the night. I hear the sound of his feet shuffling, the faint footsteps and then the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing shut.

I let out a breath I did not know I was holding in, my fists clenched the sheets as I tried to make my breathing sound as normal as possible. I raise the thick blanket to my head and cover my face. Underneath the warmth I fought back tears. Here I was hiding from the man who is supposed to be my husband and my life long companion yet after what he did today.

The queen…

I always knew she didn’t like me but she has never done something so unlike her this way before, what scares me is the fact that this might be my life till she is out of it.

After a few minutes the door opens, I close my eyes as tightly shut as possible and try my best not to make any slight movement. I could feel him behind me, the other side of the bed sinks and his footsteps cease. I smell the faint scent of his soap that he had already ordered me countless times to stay away from.

The scent was calming but at the same time knowing I was on the same bed with Marcus and I was still awake was unnerving. I hear him groan and the sound of him fluffing his pillow.

He shifts in his position a few times, almost like he’s restless…well, he isn’t the only person having a restless night today.

I hear him sigh, a grunt of frustration. He leaves the bed and soon his footsteps echoes across the room, I hear the sound of his study door open. He doesn’t bother to be quiet as his feet stomps on the floor loudly and then he slams the door shut.

I slowly emerged from the covers and checked first to see if he was really still in the room, it was dark but I couldn’t feel his presence…the bond always makes us know when we’re close to each other that is how we both know how to avoid each other in the palace…till today though.

I sat up and the blanket slipped down to my lap. My hair was all over, my face, my neck and it stayed stuck to my body because how wet my skin was. I was sweaty because of staying under the covers for too long.

With a sigh I got down from the bed and stood. My body was tired as it clearly protested with my actions but yet here I was, standing and my eyes on the study door. His study is attached to the room, at very end of the room right next to the door but there’s also another entrance from the dining, I had noticed him going into one of those doors and refusing to come out for the rest of the day.

Before I knew it, my feet had moved on its own and I found myself standing in front of his study.

Should I talk to him? Try to rectify things?

Of should I just stay silent to prevent any more issues and just continue feeling the way I do right now.

I raised my hand to know, I had to speak to him…he has to know that I do not have any plans to consummate our marriage and I never will.

The door opens abruptly before I could knock, Marcus is standing in front of me, face red and fists clenched.

He looks slightly disheveled, his white hair looking like he has run his hands through it too many times and then his clothes looked out or order as well. All of the buttons of his shirt was open and his pants loose around his waist.

He was panting slightly and from the corner of my eyes I noticed a woman in his study, she was naked and on his desk. She waved with a sultry smile, she was sweaty…my brows furrowed in confusion. My eyes met glowing blues and with a growl Marcus steps out of the study completely and closes the door behind him with a loud bang.

“Why are you here?” he asks with a sneer, my heart is pounding as I stare at him. He is angry at me and the slight sting I was still feeling on my skin was proof of what he would do if I riled him up even more.

“I needed to speak with you but I didn’t know you were…” my thoughts went back to the naked woman I saw on his desk “…busy” I said.

He glares, his eyes glow brighter almost lightening the room…he is really angry and I stomach dropped with fear, he was most definitely going to use one of his Celestial gifts on me. Maybe he’ll kill me out of anger and then tell the king that I died accidentally.

I unconsciously took a step back, my breath caught in my throat as his legs moved with mine.

I was afraid, soon he had cornered me and my heart pounded harder as I felt my back hit a wall.

“Why are you running huh?”

My fists clenched my night dress at my sides as I tried to stay calm but I couldn’t under his menacing gaze.

“I thought I told you to stay away from anything that concerns me…what were you thinking about when you decided you needed to talk to me?”

His palms glowed blue.

Flames…

Those were actual blue flames, I felt the hotness as he raised his hand and brought it closer to my face. They were beautiful but my current position would not let me admire these flames considering the fact that I was about to be burnt by it.

I could feel sweat drip down from my face to my neck from the heat, still Marcus didn’t make any move to move the flames from my face.

“I…ev…” I tried to fight through my fear and speak “…everything that happened today”

I say slightly out of breath, his eyes narrow but he stays silent and waits for me to continue.

I inhale deeply “Everything that has happened today is just a big misunderstanding your highness” I say as softly as possible.

“Really?” his brow is raised, he doesn’t believe me. His hand lowers and I feel instant relief once the flames are away from my face.

I nod, he has to understand that I did not meet the queen and speak about having children and neither did she ever speak anything of it at our meetings.

“The queen…the queen is mistaken” I say, I close my eyes to escape his gaze.

“I never spoke anything of children or even having one with you…I would never even do it as the thought will never crosses my mind”

When I open my eyes, he’s still the same. He’s still angry but he looks much calmer considering the fact that I could now look into his blue eyes without squinting.

“Are you saying the queen is a liar?”

Oh heavens

“That is not what I mean…” I try to explain.

“…Then what exactly do you mean?” he interrupts, he does not let me get a word in.

“Is it that the queen is a liar or that the thought of having a child with me is so repulsive that you won’t ever think about it!”

Ok…now I was lost, confused and scared at the same time. Was he angry that I insinuated that his mother lied to him or the fact that I said I would never think about having a child with him which of course is the truth.

Is this about the queen’s honor or his pride?

“You…you know that’s not what I mean your highness” I say, my eyes wide with fear. I could get punished for this, they would say I have insulted the royal family…and the Celestials are very much strict with their punishments it wouldn’t matter to them if I was Crown princess or not.

I looked into his eyes and hoped he would see the sincerity in mine. He still looks angry but he stays silent for a few seconds, I don’t say a word as well…I did not want anything I say to be twisted and used against me.

“Never try to meddle in my life again” Marcus say and then he leaves me standing there alone. Back against the wall, my heart pounding so loud I was sure he heard it. I was breathless, sweaty and hurt.

Even in my new life, no one believes me. My mother would never listen to my explanations…I was always the person at fault, always the person who does wrong…whether or not it’s true they all find it easier to put the blame on me rather than the real…

All because I stay quiet.

I place my palm on my chest and try to calm myself, I take in deep breaths and exhale slowly. I needed to pull myself together. I’m able to recover from anything no matter how much it hurts me…that’s just how I was raised, how a Crown Princess is supposed to be.

It scares me just how much I’m beginning to sound like my mother in my head…she never told me about this part though, she never told me.

As I walked back to the bed, I noticed Marcus sitting at the edge of the other side, his face buried in his palms. His shoulders moving up and down in a steady rhythm. His breathing was slow, I tried to connect to the bond…to feel what he feeling the moment.

Pure unbridled anger.

He was still angry but I couldn’t help but feel that his anger was no longer directed at me. Well, there’s no way I taking that chance again.

I walk to the bed as quietly as possible and lay down. I bury my self into the covers and close my eyes shut. I didn’t or rather I refuse to open them to even see what he’s doing or try to figure out what he’s thinking.

Mother always said silence is the best solution to anything in the royal family. When something hurts you, stay quiet, when something angers you, you stay quiet, when you feel like you have reached your limit…you stay quiet.

Sleep eluded me for the rest of the night, my eyes were closed yet I was fully conscious. I knew when Marcus finally moved from his position and went into the bathroom or was it the study?

My mind went back to the naked woman I had seen in his study. I have no reason to be upset, he is a man and he has needs…I am just grateful I’m not the person satisfying those needs, he might be my husband but nothing connects us together except for the bond.

Deep down I wish things won’t remain like this, maybe just maybe one day he would stop hating me or at least tell me the reason why he hates me.