Forever Started With Thirty Days

Cleo POV: The images of Daniels and Jack lying dead on the floor stayed in my head for a couple of days. I miss them and their laughs, their stories. Seeing Daniels and Jack's bodies turned me into the 16-year-old girl that watched her pack being slaughtered. Something in me snapped and I had enough of death and destruction. I ran into the house and grabbed my keys, phone and grabbed a tranquilizer gun from the armory. I was going to leave here. He would let me go or I would make him enough is enough! I ran to the front door in hopes I didn’t run into anyone, but of course, Jazz is there waiting for me and trying to convince me to stay. We started arguing and, of course, West and Valenzano came to the door. No one knew I had a tranquilizer gun on me, and if I had to shoot everyone to leave, I would not hesitate to do so. My emotion is at an all-time high I am in a fight or flight mode and I rather choose flight. A part of me knew I would end up shooting Valenzano, but the rejection was a part of me being in my feelings. But deep down I know if I didn’t reject him he would be in more emotional pain than I want him to be in. It broke my heart to leave Valenzano, but I had to. I can’t get the look he gave me when I rejected him and then shot him with a tranquilizer out of my mind. He was so crushed. When I drove off the pack lands I couldn’t stop crying. I love him so f*****g much, and the look he gave me when I rejected him makes my heartbreak. I never would have thought that going to a club with Jazz would have led me to this moment. West and Jazz had a disappointed look on their faces. I wish everyone could understand my point of view. s**t, I at least thought Jazz would understand but she doesn’t. All I want is a peaceful life with someone who loves me. Hell, if it wasn’t for the mate bond, I don’t think Valenzano would have looked twice at me. I get to the building and surprisingly our apartment doesn’t smell like smoke and all of our stuff is intact. I run a bath and try to relay, but I can’t stop thinking about Valenzano. I sat in the tub crying my heart out. I turn the radio on and a song plays as I cry. I wonder if he has woken up yet, if he is looking for me, or if he is as sad as I am? If I should stay, I would only be in your way. So I'll go, but I know I'll think of you every step of the way. And I will always love you I will always love you You, my darling you, hm Bittersweet memories That is all I'm taking with me. So, goodbye Please, don't cry. We both know I'm not what you. You need And I will always love you I will always love you, you Damn this song. I snatched the radio and threw it on the floor. It shatters into pieces. A perfect song for my love life. I know Valenzano loves me and I him, but he deserves more than a mate who is broken and can't give him the one thing he and his pack need. I never experienced love as I had with Valenzano, his love is different from Danny’s and Robert's. It was pure he didn’t love me out of desperation, obligation, or just to have me so no one else can have me. He loves me to his core and Vintage does too. I love him so much, but as an Alpha, he has to put his Pack first. As an Alpha, he needs an heir, which is something I can’t give him. It was best for me to leave. Even if I told him my secret, we would not have the options Robert and I had. Adoption is not something that the pack might accept. Even if they do, there is always a possibility that someone can challenge the child for the Alpha title based on the grounds that the child not being biologically the Alpha and Luna. As for a surrogate, that option would be out of the question. She-wolves are territorial and will see that child as theirs even if it is my egg and Valenzano’s sperm. And there is the possibility that Valenzano can grow attached to a woman carrying his child. It’s a primal thing. I know it wouldn’t be his fault but the thought of it tears my heart in pieces. I wonder how he’s holding up the pain in his eyes when I rejected him. It was too much for me. I felt like s**t. It wasn’t till l left that I realized how much I love him. I miss Jazz also, we haven’t talked since I left. I called her to tell her I made it back home safe but she didn’t answer. I texted her no response. I hope she is okay. I think the rejection had an effect on me too. I have been feeling dizzy a lot lately. I call Jazz again. It rings four times and goes to voice mail. Did that chick just ignore my call? Valenzano POV: I woke up in my room, and remembered what happened. Cleo rejected me, shot me with a f*****g tranquilizer dart, and left. While West and Jazz stood there and let her leave. Vintage is trying to take over and if he does, he might hurt West and Jazz. There is no way in hell I am going to not punish them. I threw West in the dungeon. Jazz is on house arrest. Her ass can’t go anywhere. I am hurt and pissed off. I can’t call her. I don’t have her phone number. I don’t know what to do. I lost my mate and my Luna and can’t live without her. “We have to find our mate”, Vintage says, clawing at me trying to get out. “We can't, we have no idea where she is”, I said with disappointment. “Send someone out to get her back”, he says, whining. “I can’t she have been gone for four hours. Her scent is long gone, we can’t track her”, I said with anger. “If West wasn’t our brother he would be dead right now. As for Jazz, she is our mate's best friend. Maybe after a while she can convince her to come back so be nice to her”, Vintage says. “I wonder if she left to be with that Hunter”, I said with disgust. “Our mate wouldn’t do that!”, Vintage says, snapping at me. “Then why the f**k did she leave”, I can’t stand him sometimes. “Stupid, did you not see the hurt in her eyes when she rejected us? She loves us and told us so. Maybe she is scared, due to her past”, he says, trying to make a sense of Cleo leaving. “I know she loves us. I felt it, maybe she will come back in due time”, I said with hope. I am emotionally drained. I still can’t believe that Cleo left me. I know our bond has grown and she is feeling the same way I feel right now. Needing some relaxation, I went to the steam room and turned on some music. “Play music”, I say to the house system. “What kind of music would you like to play, Alpha”, the system replies. “Anything”, I said. “Okay…playing Bill Withers. That’s what I need hot steam on my body and some good music. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone It's not warm when she's away Ain't no sunshine when she's gone And she's always gone too long Anytime she goes away Wonder this time where she's gone Wonder if she's gone to stay Ain't no sunshine when she's gone And this house just ain't no home Anytime she goes away “System what is this”, I am beyond pissed. Why, in all the songs in the world, this gets played? “It’s Bill Withers Ain't No Sunshine”, it replies. “Play something else”, I said with annoyance. Out of all the f*****g songs to play it, play this one. “Okay…playing Mariah Carey”, While the system plays another song, I get up to get a bottle of water. Not paying attention to the song being played, I sat back down, sat my eyes and relaxed. The feeling that I'm feeling Now that I don't hear your voice Or have your touch and kiss your lips 'Cause I don't have a choice Oh what I wouldn't give To have you lying by my side Right here, 'cause, baby When you left I lost a part of me It's still so hard to believe Come back baby please cause We belong together Relax until I started listening to the lyrics of the song. That’s why I need to go for a run. Music is not going to help me relax and think of what to do. “System stops the music and shut down”, I ordered “Stopping music…shutting down at 3…2…1”, the computer counts down. I left the house and let Vintage takeover for a run. We have no idea what we are going to do. We just hope she didn’t run into the arms of that hunter. Vintage POV: Running as hard as I can, as fast as I can, to clear my mind and try to get an understanding of what happened and how we got to this point. We did everything we could to get her to see how much she means to us and how valuable she is to us and the pack. Maybe there was a time we could have been more understanding of how Cleo felt about her past. Cleo could not understand that sometimes an Alpha's compassion and understanding can be mistaken for weakness, which puts us in a dangerous position. What are we missing? What could we have done differently for her to see this is where she belongs? I love Cleo like I never loved another. Why can’t she see that? I never had to chase a woman down, they were always willing to please me when and how I wanted. Now I’m in love with a woman who loves me but doesn’t want me. How in the hell does this work? Soon it won't be only me that will feel like there is something missing, the pack will soon feel the effects of their missing luna. I had to continue to run back. Hopefully, someday she will come back to us.