Chapter 9: Regimen
1540 Words
“Miss Smith," the doctor turned to me, as she sat in her own chair opposite us. “We'll be working very closely together for the next year, to ensure everything runs smoothly with the baby."
I nodded. I was still trying to come to grips with the whole thing happening to me, so I didn't trust myself to speak just yet. And I was still trying to piece together everything I had just learnt about Jacob Greyson.
I had always thought of him in one specific way, I had never expected him to be so, human. I had never thought of him suffering in anyway, or even longing for anything the way that he did, much less a baby.
I found it much better to just nod.
“The egg donor has already started her process, and you will follow a very similar program initially," the doctor continued, placing a folder down on the table between them, and handing a similar one to Jacob and I. “The only difference is that hers will end as soon as an egg is harvested from her. Yours will continue until your second month after the baby is born."
Most surrogate contracts ended as soon as the baby was born. However, mine would be until two months after, as a weaning period for the fetus I would carry. It would be used to my voice, my heartbeat, a sudden removal might cause trauma. This was outlined in the contract I had signed with New Life, and I'd gone over it again last night, to prepare myself for any surprises.
“I understand," I said, placing my folder on my lap.
“That folder," Dr. Tate nodded to it. “Contains everything you need to know before implantation happens. When the time gets closer, I'll be updating you on lifestyle and dietary changes. You'll find, we're very thorough."
I could see that. I glanced through the folder containing what my life was supposed to be for the next month and a half. It contained every single meal I was supposed to eat, along with all the supplements. It also gave the exact amount of minutes of exercise I needed to fit in everyday and the exact kind, as well.
“Swimming?" I asked, reading aloud. “Where am I supposed . . .?"
“There's a pool at the house," Jacob told me, turning to me slightly. “You'll be shown to it.
“And the food," I looked at the extensive list of meals for a month and a half.
Salmon, cream cheese, bagels. Steak twice a week. Fresh fruit five times a day, vegetables at every meal. Everything looked delicious and just looking at the menu made my stomach grumble and my mouth water. But there was no way I could afford this, or even know how to cook it if I could.
“Will be prepared for you," Jacob assured me, his voice firm as he spoke. “Every meal will be brought to you from today onwards until the end of your contract. Your health is first priority in everything."
As long as I carried the spawn of the devil inside me, I thought wryly.
“And the matter of the ladies?" The Doctor turned to Jacob. “Have you been able-"
“I've found two," Jacob spoke, an almost grateful relief in his voice. “She'll be assisted all throughout the process."
I was only confused by what they were saying, and I really felt that I shouldn't be confused about anything that was happening in this entire process. It was my body and my life that was on the line, after all.
“Excuse me?" I asked. “What do you mean you found two ladies?"
“Ladies-in-waiting," Jacob explained. “For lack of a better term. Two women to help you through the next 12 months. One is a trained psychologist, the other a nurse."
I almost couldn't understand what he was saying. His sentences didn't make sense once they were strung together.
“To check on me everyday?" I asked, surprised. “Is that necessary?"
I couldn't even begin to fathom the cost of that alone.
“They're going to be with you all the time," Jacob explained. “They'll help you with everything you need help with. To make sure everything goes well for the baby."
I blinked, unable to comprehend exactly what was happening around me.
“This can't be necessary," I said again, when I was eventually able to process the meaning of his worlds.
Jacob pursed his lips, and I could see a flash of pain over his face, before he steeled himself for what he needed to say next.
“The pregnancies before this one lasted at most three weeks. Then the fetus died," Jacob told me. “It might be my genetics that's causing the fetus to just die," Jacob spoke softer, admitting a fear out loud. “I have no control over my own genetics, this is the best I can do to help my child survive."
I didn't say anything else after that. This was becoming harder and harder the more I delved into the history behind his needing a child. This pain that he was bearing seemed so heavy a load, I couldn't imagine how he must be walking around with it all the time.
But it was something that I didn't want to think about. Everything was so much easier when I just thought of him as a monster, rather than a human man that just wanted a child of his own.
Thankfully, I didn't have to think of it for too long. Meredith called my attention again.
The doctor explained to me the tablets that I would be taking, then went through my entire day planner for food and exercise with me. Most of my day would be free to do as I liked, with a few restrictions on certain things that I would normally not have done anyway. Horse-riding was completely off the table.
There was more exercise added into my routine, though. But the heated pool was actually something I was looking forward to.
After everything was done, the doctor took me through the whole process again, and by the end of it, I was sure I had the whole thing memorized. Jacob looked like he'd hung on to every word the doctor had said. Even as she repeated herself twice.
I had never seen him, not in their few encounters nor on tv, ever like this. Genuine concern and attention.
The image he gave off in public was charming and relaxed. Like he could do no wrong and he knew it. And in person he was very stoic, serious, and life threateningly dangerous.
But here, like this, it looked like he was the one on the other end. Like he had absolutely no control, and he was struggling desperately to take a hold of any of it.
“Thank you both for coming in today," Dr Tate shook both of our hands, and guided us out. “I'll send you the latest updates about the egg donor as we get them. But I think she's coming along nicely. We have a real chance here, this time. Her eggs definitely aren't the problem, it's her uterus that is hostile. I think this can really work here. We'll have a baby next time this year."
That was something that I just couldn't process.
“Thank you, so much, for everything," Jacob told the doctor sincerely.
He wanted this baby more than anything else in the world. I knew because the exact way that everyone else in the world treated him, like he was untouchable, a God living among mortals, that was the way that Jacob treated this doctor. This woman that held in her power the ability to give him the thing that he needed most, his baby.
At the New Life Fertility Clinic, Jacob had barely even glanced at the man that had set up the meeting between us. Fertility clinics like that were a dime a dozen. But a doctor that was as gifted as this woman seemed to be, that was as devoted to her practice, took a near miracle to find.
“Thank you," I echoed his words, feeling a sense of obligation to say the words, but not really feeling any meaning behind them. And I think that even if I was grateful, I wouldn't be able to reach his level of gratitude.
Though I wasn't really sure what I would be grateful for, or who I would be thanking for being in a situation like this ever.
I placed a hand over my still empty womb. It would remain empty for a long time still. I had a month and half to go before an egg was even harvested, fertilized and placed inside of me. And even then, the fertilized egg would be so small, and then the fetus would be so small, that I wouldn't notice or see any change for months still.
But here, in this doctor's office, everything was suddenly so overwhelmingly real to me. And I swore I could feel a phantom kick.
- Writer
