Loveless Marriage - My Second Wife Has A Baby

Chapter 5

Ithal

"It's her or no one.." My Aunt squeals almost deafening my ears, "That's what he said, Nithi. Can you believe it?"

"Not even a bit, Roja but I am sorry happy Aadhi finally agreed to marry my daughter.." My mom joins her as she helps me get ready for my big day. Okay, not so big day since Aadhi insisted on having a simple wedding in the court with only his and my families as witnesses.

Moreover, I have no interest in another big fat Indian wedding. The last time I had one, my parents spent so much money on it and see where it has got me now. So, I am glad that Aadhi asked for a simple one.

The wedding date was fixed at the earliest possibility so that Aadhi doesn't change his mind. Within the next three days, my wedding

day rolls around. I feel a flick of nervousness as I am walked into the courtroom by my parents, Navil, Nila, and her kid, my cute little niece.

As I walk inside, I see Aadhi and his family already settled in front of the marriage registrar. Mini and Ela couldn't be with us since it was too short of a notice for them but she promised to come see us the following week.

The pain in my chest comes back with full force when Aadhi doesn't even pay me a glance when I stand next to him. His feet are slightly apart, his hands fisted together in front, his back stiff, and his eyes downcast. If I didn't know, I would think he didn't notice me yet, but his jaw muscles tick and they tell me a different tale.

While I am draped in a red silk saree and put in some effort into my makeup to look good for him, he's dressed as casually as someone can in a cream-colored button-down shirt which is rolled at his sleeves, and a pair of dark blue pants as if he doesn't give a s**t about this day.

I want to think of this wedding as my second chance at a happy marriage but something about his indifference tells me that I am going to get hurt again. I can only pray to god to give me strength and courage to face all the challenges that life plans to throw at me.

The marriage officiant asks us a few questions after which he asks us to sign the marriage documents. Once we do, we are declared married. Our parents hand us a small garland of roses which we exchange. His mom gives him the wedding ring which he slips into my finger a bit too harshly but I am sure he didn't do it purposefully, or at least that's what I want to think.

Then she gives me the other one, which I am supposed to put on his finger but as he stretches his hand out, I am shocked to find a ring already sitting on his finger. That's when I realize that it's the ring from his previous marriage and he's still wearing it. Everyone must have followed my shocked gaze as his mom leaned closer and whispered to him in a reprimanding tone, "Take off that ring, Aadhi.."

The pressure on my chest becomes unbearable when he gives his mom a hard look, "I am not taking it off..."

"Aadhi but.." His mom tries to make him understand but I quickly stop her.

"Athai, it's okay. I don't mind.." I smile but the smile on my face becomes difficult to maintain.

She gives me a sorry look to which I shake my head telling her it's fine but in actuality, it isn't. It also tells me there is no place for me in his heart. That I will always come next to his dead wife.

I am sure I see a glint of appreciation in my husband's eyes but he quickly hides it behind his stoic expression. I slip the ring and it settles right next to the one that he's already wearing.

"Stand closer, guys.." Navil insists in an attempt to make everyone's mood lighten but the frown on his own forehead is evidence of how pissed he is of Aadhi, "Let me take a few pictures.."

Blood rushes through my veins and I sway when my husband shifts closer to me even if it is unwillingly. His warmth and strong cologne wrap me comfortingly and I want to get lost in his scent.

After a couple of clicks, Aadhi walks out of the courtroom, not having a care about his new bride or anyone else around him.

I watch my parents' faces crumble with his behavior but there's nothing they can do about it. They were the ones to choose this life for me; now we all must embrace it.

To compensate for her son's behavior, my Aunt hugs me and pulls me away from everyone, "My son can be hard at times. He will dig under your skin, find all your flaws, and shred you to pieces until your heart is bleeding at his feet. But don't allow him to do it. Fight for what is rightfully yours and never give up.."

"Thank you, athai.." I hug her back.

"Welcome to this family, Ithu.." With a kiss on my cheek, she pulls away, "I can't wait to take you home.."

"This is not the first time you are taking me home.." I giggle shyly.

"Yes, but this is the first time I am taking you home as my daughter-in-law.."

As the ceremony ends, I share a tearful goodbye with my parents.

"You are Aadhi's wife now, Ithu. While you should have your best interest at heart, you are also responsible for your new family, and your husband's reputation, image, and well-being. Be patient and forgiving. That's the most important element of a successful marriage. When I proposed your marriage to him, I not only had the best interest for you but also his. He is like a son to me and it worries me to see him so heartbroken and lonely. Love him so much that he forgets the past and makes a future with you, Ithu.."

"What if I can't do it, amma?" I squeeze her hand, craving the warmth and comfort of her touch.

"I know you can do it, my precious daughter.." She kisses my forehead and my dad follows her and wraps an arm around me.

"I will miss you, sweetheart.."

I cry into his chest silently, " I will miss you too but I am going anywhere this time. We can whenever we want, appa.."

"I know, that's a relief.."

From the court, Aadhi drives us to his family home where we have our lunch. The usual formalities after a wedding are skipped since Aadhi didn't want to do them all over again. For the first time I enter his room but the mere sight of the bed raises bile to my throat to think that he must have shared it with his first wife. They didn't live here permanently but many a time they had stayed the night here. So, it was obvious.

To think we may actually need to spend our first night here, right on this bed, drove me up against the wall. But to my luck, Aadhi prefers we go to his apartment and I don't stifle the sigh of relief that escapes my mouth.

"I think it went well, don't you think?" I say when the silence gets too oppressive inside Aadhi's car.

Aadhi's eyes snap to me before he hums in approval. I wait for him to say something but the rest of the drive passes in uncomfortable silence. I busy myself watching the traffic through the passenger window while I desperately try to suppress my rising nervousness. I lick my lips, tasting my shame and swallowing my secrets. Up until now, I didn't think of it but it is our first night. Okay, maybe not for my husband but it is my first night. My real first night.

I've waited too long for it.

When we reach his apartment building, he parks the car and carries my luggage for me to the elevator. The simple act of Chivalry brings an enormous smile to my face. That's how pathetic my heart is.

He leads me to his apartment and I wish he could hold my hand but he doesn't and I don't want to push him. Maybe he could only let loose behind closed doors for now and I am okay with it.

This is the first time I am coming to his place and it is much bigger and cleaner than I thought. I know he has a cook and a maid who handles the household for him.

I gave the cook and maid the day off.." He tells me as if he's read my mind.

"Ohh that's great!!" I say and cringe when I realize how that sounded as if we'd entertain the whole house with our bedroom noises but I truly prefer total privacy for our first night.

Aadhi sighs and heads straight towards a closed room but then stops with his hand on the doorknob. I rush behind him with my stomach fluttering with nerves.

Aadhi opens the master bedroom and makes an inviting gesture to me with his hand. I flash him a tight smile and then enter our marital room.

"That's the bathroom.." He points at the door attached to the room. "You can change first.."

I soon disappear into the bathroom to calm myself down.

After a refreshing shower and preparing myself mentally, I walk out of the bathroom towel drying my wet, long hair. My stomach flutters again with a mixture of nerves and excitement. I watch Aadhi sitting on the foot of the bed, scrolling at his phone. I allow myself to admire him secretly. He is still wearing the dress shirt and pants from earlier. He looks strong and sophisticated, controlled and untouchable.

When he doesn't acknowledge my presence, I clear my throat and he finally glances up at me. His cold eyes scan my body from head to toe but quickly averts his eyes away from me and gets up from his bed.

"You should go to sleep. I have some work at the pub that needs my attention.." He says and I deflate inwardly at his words.

His gaze shifts for the briefest second on my face before he ignores ma and enters the bathroom.

So once again I remain untouched on my first night. What a waste!

Trying to fight my frustration, I walk to the huge bed and slide under the cover. What I take notice of on the nightstand, fills my eyes and chest with hurt. The ring that I put on his finger was casually thrown on the nightstand.

But why? I thought he wanted to marry me.

It's her or no one

I recall my aunt telling me. She said that's what Aadhi said. I wonder why and then my eyes widen when I understand why. He preferred me because I was married once before just like him. He didn't want to marry an unmarried woman. God, what do I tell him that I am as good as an unmarried woman?

What if he's disappointed in me?

This is my second wedding night, but I am almost as inexperienced as I was years ago, something I really hoped to change after tonight but it won't any time soon, I guess.

I want to become a real wife, a real woman, and if possible a mother soon. Shiva and I had kissed and cuddled at the beginning of our marriage but that's how far we went with each other and that is also my problem.

What if Aadhi notices I am a virgin?

What if he asks me for an explanation?

Maybe I should hide it from him. I should just present myself as an experienced woman like Aadhi expects me to be. If I requested him to extinguish the nights in the room, then perhaps he wouldn't notice it.

The shower runs longer and I have a hard time keeping my eyes open but I manage to be awake when he exits the bathroom dressed in a fresh pair of clothes, something more casual.

"Good night. Don't wait for me.." Saying that he stalks out of the bedroom quickly but not before I see the other ring safely tucked on his finger. The one put there my his first wife.

I roll over and bury my face into the pillow. What is wrong with me that even after two wedding nights with two different men, I am still unwanted?

I want to be desired, loved, and lusted after just like any other woman of my age.

Is it too much to ask?