Love of a Lifetime

Chapter 2

Joanna

I think I was on glass number 4 or 5, I lost track. I have neer been able to handle my alcohol well and tonight was a night that I didn't really give a f**k. I was thankful that tonight was Friday and I didn't have to work tomorrow. I was glad that Gage wasn't home to witness everything going to complete and utter s**t. I was glad that the phone calls stopped. I was glad that I had this 7th glass of wine. Wait, I thought it was the 4th. Oh, what the hell ever.

Rachel was looking at me expectantly. I hadn't told her exactly what happened yet. I just told her I needed to be drunk enough with a full belly to even discuss today's events. Check one and check two, so I guess now I need to hold up my end of the bargain.

Lisa and I had met Rachel when I was in college and we hit it off immediately. She works at the veterinary clinic with me and she has honestly been a big supporter in my life and vice versa.

“Today was my mammogram…” I whispered and her face softened. She didn't probe, she didn't nudge me to continue. She waited for me to gather my strength to continue and I was so thankful. “It's stage 3…”

“Oh Jo!” she wrapped me in her arms and I sobbed. “That's not all….” She pulled back but kept her arms around me. She raised a brow at me waiting for my answer.

“I went to Brian today. He's the one who gave me the results. I figured since Mike's office was right down the hall that I would just go ahead and tell him. He was on his lunch break, so he didn't have any patients…”

I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. “I caught him mid thrust in another woman...” I don't think she meant it but her grip on my shoulder got dangerously tight.

“I'm sorry, what? Where the hell is he? I know how to hide a body without being caught. Who the f**k is the tramp? Do I need to kill her too?”

I held my hand up with wide eyes. “You know you are pretty scary when you're angry. But that's not even the worst part…”

“What do you mean that's not the worst part? Your husband is having an affair with another woman. What is worse than that?”

I let out a breath and rested my elbows on my knees and bowed my head. My golden waves covering my face. “It was Lisa….”

Her wine glass dropped to the floor and shattered. When I met her gaze she looked frozen in shock. Her brown eyes that usually reminded me of molten chocolate were nearly black with rage. She didn't say anything. She didn't even look like she was breathing.

”Rach…?” I probed and she shook her head.

“I'm going to kill her. Lisa? Our friend Lisa was f*****g your husband on his desk at his work? Lisa that's also Married to his best friend that also works in the same office? That lisa?” I couldn't formulate words so I settled for nodding my head. Rachel was silent and usually when she was this mad and silent, it was bad.

“Rachel, what am I going to do? I've been with Mike for 17 years. Since the day I found out I was pregnant with Gage... I don't know any other life. I have never lived alone. You know how much family means to me... I was a foster kid. My own parents didn't even want me. I don't want Gage to grow up in a broken home too.”

“Joanna. First of all, just because you have a kid with someone doesn't mean you need to stay with them. Second of all, Gage is already grown up. He's a hell of a young man. Thirdly, you are never going to be alone. You are my family. And lastly, how long has this been going on?”

I shrugged. “Truthfully I don't know. I ran out of there as fast as I could. He tried to get me out of the car, but I threw my ring at him and drove off. I just couldn't stick around. After the news I got this morning and then that. I was pretty stretched thin on what I could handle.”

She nodded and took a few deep breaths before taking me into her arms again. “Here's what we're going to do. We're going to finish off this bottle of wine, we’re going to watch a bunch of chick flicks, we’re going to eat to our stomach's desire and get a good night's rest. And tomorrow, we're going to go to your house. I'm going with you, that's not up for negotiation. You're going to talk to Mike, and we're going to pack you a bag and you're going to stay with me. After you've given it some clear thought without pressure from anyone and you're ready to make a decision then okay. But you can't make any decisions while you're living with him because he will cloud your judgement. Now chop chop. Pick out a movie, I'll get the snacks. You can change into a pair of my Pjs too.”

With Rachel growing up an Army brat, you could hear the authoritarian in her coming out. She marched off to the kitchen while I changed my clothes and picked out a movie. Hours later she was passed out on the sofa with a line of drool coming out of her mouth. However, I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't shut my mind off.

My phone pinged with a text and I realized there were several I never noticed...

Gage: Hey, dad said he's been trying to call you. Everything okay?

Gage: Mom, dad said he's worried about you. What does he mean? What's going on?

Gage: that's it I'm coming home

Gage: Mom, dad passed out drunk on the sofa. Where are you? Please answer your phone…

Shit. I pinched the bridge of my nose feeling a migraine coming on.

Me: Hey baby. I'm sorry, I didn't hear my phone go off. I am at Aunt Rachel's house.

Gage: Oh, so now you answer your phone.

Me: Watch the attitude. I didn't hear it go off. I've had a rough day and turned it on silent. I'm sorry, love.

Gage: Well that doesn't explain what's going on…

Me: We will talk tomorrow. This isn't something we should discuss over text messages.

Gage: Well then I'm coming to Aunt Rachels. She has a room there for me anyways. We'll talk then. I love you, Momma.

At least he still loves me. I just hope that what I tell him isnt going to change that. I don't even know what to tell him or how much to tell him.

I debated on waking Rachel up to let her know we were adding one more to the party, but she was snoozing hard. You definitely didn't want to wake Rachel when she hasn't gotten enough rest. She turns into an instant b***h and I don't have the capacity to deal with that right now.

I made sure to cut on the porch light and unlock the door and go into the kitchen to heat him up something to eat, knowing he's going to be hungry. Yes, I may have been trying to bribe my child into not hating me with food, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.

I heard some shuffling in the foyer and a few curses and then silence. Going to check it out, I peeked around the corner to see Gage kneeling down to pick up my purse that he had knocked over, but all of the contents had spilled. Including all of the brochures from Brian's office and the paperwork with my test results on it. His face was pale and he wasn't moving.

“Mom…?” his eyes raised to mine. His bright blue eyes that matched his fathers and they were starting to blur with unshed tears. “Mom, what is this?”

I sighed, something I've been doing a lot of today and knelt next to him. “Gage, son, look at me” he did and I could see the tremble in his body.

“I didn't want to tell you about that yet... I wanted to wait until after SAT’s and until you picked a good school.”

He shook his head. “No. f**k that!” I gave him a look and he mumbled a sorry. “You know what, I'm not sorry! f**k that! You're sick! You need me! I can go to a school closer to home! I can still achieve my goals and dreams while being here for you.”

This is what I was afraid of.

“Baby, I don't want you to put your life on hold for me. I will be okay. I'm a fighter. I'm strong. I can handle anything. I want you to live your life for you, I want you to make choices because you want to do them. Not because you feel obligated.”

“I'm not obligated to do anything. You're my mother. You gave me life. If you think I would for a second abandon you in your time of need then you're sadly mistaken. You raised me better than that.” I took him in my arms and he kissed the top of my head. Now that he was nearly an adult he was almost a foot taller than me.

“I just want you to have every change you can possibly have in life. A better life than what I had growing up.”

His hug got tighter. “You've given me an amazing life mom. Let me help you. No wonder dad drank himself into a stupor.”

I couldn't help it. I tensed at the mention of Mike and Gage unfortunately noticed.

“Mom?” he asked, raising a brow.

I attempted to brush it off because this was an adult matter. It's not something a teenager, let alone our child should be thrusted into the middle of. He wasn't having it.

“I know you told Rachel about it or else you wouldn't have come here. So you have two choices. Either tell me what I want to know, or I will wake up aunt Rachel and we both know that won't end well.”

“Dammit Jo, just tell the boy!” Rachel said, peeking her head above the sofa. I narrowed my eyes at her and she shrugged and shrunk down further waiting for the explosion of what I'm about to tell my son.

“Please don't hate me…” I whispered to him not expecting him to hear me but knowing that he did. “Your dad and I….I will be staying here for a few days.”

His face scrunched up in confusion. “Why… you and dad..you're my idol couple. You're so in love. I...What happened?”

“I thought we were in love too…” I sobbed a bit knowing full well that that was the truth. I thought we did love each other. The s*x was great, the s*x was frequent, we hardly ever fought, we spend time together. I don't understand what happened.

“Your dad is having an affair and I found out about it today.” I couldn't meet his eyes. I was filled with shame. Shame that I failed my marriage, that I failed my family, and that I wasn't enough to keep my family together. I felt like there was no way out of this dark place. I can't face him knowing that I failed him.

“Who?” was all he said. I looked up and his face was turning red and the tips of his ears even redder. A trait he inherited from his father.

“It's not important…”

“God dammit mom! TELL ME WHO!” I trembled at the anger he released.

“Gage, just calm down…”

He shook his head. “No. Not this time. I'm not going to calm down. Tell me who dad decided to throw his family away for. Tell me who dad thought was so important that he would chose to break up his own family for.”

Wait, he wasn't mad at me?

“You're not mad at me?” I asked stupidly.

He took three giant steps towards me and engulfed me in a hug. I could feel his own tears hitting my forehead. “Why would I ever be mad at you over this? You're not the one who stuck a body part in another person that wasn't your spouse. You've never been anything short of amazing Momma. But please. Tell me who”.

“It was Lisa…” I muttered knowing he deserved to know, but hating that I was thrusting all of this on my child.

“You've got to be f*****g kidding me!” was all he said before he stormed out of the door, got in his truck and sped off.