Love of a Lifetime

Joanna I rubbed my breast trying to relieve the pain. The mammogram I just had hurt like a b***h and I may have been a bit of a wimp when it came to pain. The nurse had left me in Doctor Mitchells office. Look at me being all formal, Brian was one of our greatest friends. I would have asked my husband to do the testing for me but according to policy it wasnt allowed and i didnt want to make him nervous about something that might not even be real. I had felt a lump in my breast that was accompanied with pain several months ago, and finally working up the courage I decided to get it checked out. “Knock knock!” Brian's voice filtered through the door, but he didn't smile. He didn't even meet my eyes. He sat at his desk and folded his hands and bowed his chin to his chest. “Well, whatever this is, it can't be good…” He finally raised his head and he looked like he had aged 20 years within the past few minutes. With a deep sigh he reached across the desk and grabbed my hand. “Jo, this is not what I wanted to be doing at all, but it is confirmed. You do have breast cancer. Stage 3.” I choked on whatever spit I had left in my mouth. “W-what?” He went into details confirming my diagnosis and treatment options. “I would really like to start you on Chemotherapy, as soon as possible” I nodded my head, but I don't know what information I was really processing and what I wasn't. “Does Mike know? What about Gage?” I shook my head. “No, and I don't want them to know. Not yet. I will stop by Mike's office before I leave the office but Gage, he has so much going on. He's 17, in his senior year of highschool, he has SAT’s and College applications, I don't want to put this on his shoulders too...Can we, can we maybe keep this between me and you? At Least for now?” He nodded his head. “Of course, even if you weren't a friend, it's patient confidentiality. I cannot tell anyone you don't authorize even if they are a fellow doctor in this practice. But Joanna,” I made sure to pay attention because no one ever called me by my full name unless it was serious, they were a stranger, or I was in trouble. “They're going to find out sooner or later. The side effects of Chemo can be pretty brutal, but in your case it is necessary. I'm going to send you home with some information, I want you to read it over and if you have any questions you can call me. Day or night, I'm available.” I nodded and swiped at the few tears that I had in my eyes. Brian went into more details for me. Going over statistics, survival rates, side effects, everything I could have a question about he answered. In a matter of a few hours my whole life had changed. I was scared. I had cancer. I was a 33 year old woman and I had cancer. Could I even survive this? I gathered my things and Brian walked me to the door. “Remember, just breathe. You can beat this.” he gave me a quick hug and I stuffed the brochures and papers he gave me into my purse and walked down the hall to Mike's office. My mind was so fuzzy that I was there before I even blinked. I could hear muffled noises inside, but I knew his schedule. He was supposed to be at lunch, so I knew there were no patients in his office. I tried the handle and it was unlocked so I walked in. but lord, I wish I hadn't. I wish I could unsee everything. In Fact I wish I could undo this entire day. Mike had a woman bent over his desk with his pants around his ankles and she was as naked as the day she was born. His hips were thrusting repeatedly in and out of her and she was moaning his name. One hand was around her throat and his other was rubbing between her legs. Even though their backs were to me, I knew who they were. I knew very well who both of them were. One, my husband of 17 years, and the other my best friend since first grade. Her bleached blonde hair is a ratted mess that looks like this isn't their first round. I don't know why I was still here watching this. Why I was still subjecting myself to this torture. My hands started to shake and my knees went weak. Losing all function I dropped my purse and stumbled against the door frame, using it to support my bodyweight. The sound must have startled them because she shrieked and he turned around. If either of them lost any more color in their skin, I would be concerned that they were the cancer patients, not me. He stepped away from her, pulling out, which allowed me to see he wasn't even using a condom. I gasped and put my hand up over my mouth. Both to conceal my shock and to prevent the vomit from flowing that I so desperately wanted to release. He fumbled with his pants trying to secure them around his waist. “Jo...please. It's not what it looks like.” You've got to be kidding me. “Jo...Joey baby…” I shook my head furiously and started backing away. Lisa hasn't moved. She had her head bowed in shame, but she wasn't trying to fix the problem. Not that there was a way to fix this. I stumbled over my own feet and fell backwards. “Jo!” I heard brian shout and he caught me before I hit the ground. “What's going on, are you okay?” he obviously had not seen. I couldn't stop shaking my head. I tried to escape his hold, but he held onto me tighter. “Jo..please baby…” Mike's voice caused Brian to turn his head. “What the actual fuck...You have got to be kidding me.” his voice was low and angry and I'm surprised he has enough willpower to even speak. “My best friend, f*****g my wife. That's really rich. Lisa?” he questioned. I used him being distracted to pull away from everyone. I ran. I picked up my bag and I ran as fast as my little legs would carry me. I couldn't be here. I couldn't do this. If I thought my life was falling apart before, it's definitely falling apart now. I heard shouting, skin slapping from whoever decided to throw the first punch. I heard my name being called repeatedly. I heard footsteps following fast behind me but I didn't stop. I wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop. I needed to get out of there. I got to my car and locked myself inside and propped my head on the steering wheel. I loved my car. It was my personal mom's mobile. I had bought it as a gift to myself after graduating Veterinary tech school and getting a job at one of the local practices in town. It was a blue Subaru outback and I couldn't have felt more accomplished. I started the car but continued to cry with my head on the steering wheel. I felt a tug at the door but thanks to it being locked it didn't budge. I jolted up and noticed my husband standing there with a wild and scared look on his face. His right cheek was bruised and starting to swell indicating Brian was the one to throw the first punch. “Joanna, please, open the door. Baby, let's talk about this.” I shook my head and wiped my tears away. I looked at the diamond ring that sparkled on my finger and sighed. I wiggled it off and cracked my window just enough to fit my hand through and drop the ring. He caught it and looked at me in disbelief. “Joey, no…” I didn't give him the satisfaction of a response. I put the car in gear and sped away. I knew Gage was staying the night at a friend's house so I went to the only other place I knew I could go. I called Rachel and prayed to god she picked up. It rang three times before a breathy “Hello” sounded through the car speakers. I forgot she was in a spin class right now. “Rach…..” I cried out. “Say no more. Meet me at my house in 30 minutes. I'll bring the wine.” I thanked her and disconnected the call. My phone kept ringing. Between calls from Mike, Brian and even Lisa, I had 20 missed phone calls. I turned my phone off to avoid them all and made my way to the only friend I had left. How did my life end up like this?