Bellatrix

Scars Change things!

CHAPTER 11

Bella

I had such a good time shopping with the girls. I couldn’t believe it that my bestie’s brother offered to pay for whatever we were to buy and instructed her that we get stuff for Jacob, too. I refused cos I was not going to be taking advantage of his kindness, and besides, there was nothing I needed now. I am not one who could afford to splurge and have learned to shop wisely. Besides , I didn’t have to shop, I was having a great time hanging out with my friends. When Ari told us what her brother said would happen if I didn’t get anything for myself and Jacob, I told her to choose something for me. I refused anything more than the pair of shoes and two dresses for myself.

When we got to the males section to get stuff for Jacob, a shirt on the display cabinet caught my eye. I asked Ari if her brother had given us a set amount to use, and she responded that her brother said not to worry about prices and get whatever we wanted. I got all excited and went from aisle to aisle, picturing Jacob and Gabriel in the clothing that caught my eye. I chose my favourites, which included a few matching items for them both. They are going to look soooooo adorable being all matchy matchy. I also chose a couple of ties I thought would look so good on Gabriel. When we got back , we went to thank Gabriel and drop off his stuff. I could feel his eyes on me whilst Ari was talking to him, and as always, my body started to feel all weird but not in a bad way.

When Ari and Pearl left me alone with him, I grew extremely nervous, but a part of me was screaming to go grab him and kiss him. Urghhhhh, what is wrong with me! He thanked me for getting the stuff for him and said something like I got to get used to what’s his now being mine too. This was too much now! I have to say something. I took a deep breath in and out for calm and a bit of courage and decided to stop behaving like a foolish teen and sort this out once and for all. “Why me? What game are you playing? Is this a dare or a bet you have taken with someone to get me to fall for you?” I asked him “ And please could you stop calling me love” I added. “Why?” he asked while looking at me lovingly. "What do you mean by Why? You have no idea who I am, what I’ve done, and what brought me to this town! You will be disgusted with me when you find out the things I have done and you will hate me for it!” I so desperately wanted to burst into tears, but I fought against it. I have to be strong and end this make-believe fantasy world tonight!

Without saying a word, Gabriel walked towards me and carried me bridal style to the couch. He sat down and placed me on his lap and turned me to face him. “Miss Bellatrix Willow, do you believe in love at first sight?” I answered, “No!” “Well, neither did I. To be quite honest, after my last relationship, I promised myself never to allow myself to feel anything again. I trained my heart to turn stone cold. I had random women warming my bed over the years, but I felt nothing ! On that day, when I saw your picture in Ari’s room, I felt a warm sensation in my heart. I am not going to lie, as fearless as I am, that feeling scared me but intrigued me at the same time. I wanted, no, I needed to find out everything about you, and Ari helped fill me in on what she knew, and I had my people investigate you.” I glared at him in shock when he mentioned having me investigated.

“Love, please hear me out. I know you are upset about it, but I am a powerful man in the business world, and I can not afford to make the mistake of trusting the wrong person. Please try to put yourself in my shoes for a moment and try to understand. I know everything about your past life, and that doesn’t change how I feel about you. In my eyes, you are the bravest, most amazing, selfless, kindest, most beautiful woman and so much more. I have never met anyone who has made me feel like this in my whole life, and yes, it scares me! I want to be a part of yours and Jacob’s little family. I want to be given the opportunity to love you both unconditionally, protect yourll from harm, pamper yourll and give yourll all that your hearts desires and more. Please love, please look me in the eyes and tell me you feel nothing towards me and that you don’t want me as badly as I want you”

I cleared my throat, took a deep breath in and out to help me calm down and then said, “Gabriel, I am also feeling things I never have felt before and it’s scary for me too. We come from two totally different worlds. Sure, you found out about my past and said it doesn’t make a difference, but you don’t understand. It will matter in the near future, and you will grow to hate me!” “That will never happen” he said, and I placed a finger on his lips, motioning him to keep quiet, I wasn’t done yet. “The truth is I was a prostitute, and the media will have a field day when they find out who you are with. I am way too broken and will not be able to handle the pressure of the media and being in the public eye, all of which come with your lifestyle. I have been fighting my inner battles all these years with all the strength I could muster to be able to be strong enough on the outside to care for Jacob. I will not allow you to throw away all that you have worked so hard for and turned into a success for a runaway prostitute. I care too much for you to let you throw your life away for me. I am not worth it!” I stood up and started undressing while Gabriel looked at me confused.

“Look at me!” I told him “See all these scars on my body?” I rotated my body as I spoke. “Tell me you are not disgusted! Would you lie beside me or even want to f**k me when all of these ugly whip and knife scars and cigarette burns are staring at you?” I turned around to face him and saw that he had his elbows resting on his knees, his head bent forward and his palms were covering his eyes. “I thought as much!!!” I said out loud and hurriedly put my clothes back on. I have to get away from him!