Come and gone (#3 of the Grey pack)

it's nothing

Jason’s P.O.V.

Do you know Karma or the meaning behind it? Because it sure as hell came to bite me in the ass today. Karma is often referred to as an effect, an aftermath on actions or choices you have made during your life. When you do good, good will come back to you. When you do bad things in life, those things will come to haunt you later on in life as some form of payback. The same as a ripple effect in water, you let one drop fall into water and it will form circle after circle, changing the way of the water forever. Who could have ever known that my Karma would come back to haunt me, in the shape and form of the girl that had been haunting my every dream, ever since I was 17 years old? Because I sure as f**k understood very well, that once I had walked inside the pack house after getting back from the training facilities after a long and cold shower, I had taken in a f*****g scent that had made my wolf freak out in a way that he had never done before a day in his life, and when I had followed that angelic scent straight into the kitchen, to lock eyes with none other than my ex-girlfriend from way back in high school, my f*****g wolf had made it very clear to me.

MATE

MINE

Those two small words, with yet such an immense impact and meaning for any wolf in the world. And yet, all I could do at that particular moment, was to just stand there and stare at Sami as if I had just seen a f*****g ghost. Her long black hair had been cut short and came just to touch her slim shoulders. It didn’t help me in any way, to see that the hairstyle looked mighty fine on her, and that she had only grown more beautiful since the last time I had seen her, when she was only sixteen years old. She wasn’t that little girl anymore. She was all woman right now. Curvy and sexy and f*****g gorgeous in every way I could possibly think of. A woman who I wanted to step towards, grab and pull close to me and kiss her f*****g senseless until she would realize that she was mine and mine alone and would never even look at another man ever again. I wanted to mark her, claim her, so no other f*****g wolf in the world would ever dare to even look at her direction again, because she was mine. The Moon Goddess herself had made her for me, she had made us for each other. And yet, the second Sami had locked eyes with me, I knew that this was all a sick joke because, well… Karma. Why? Because the second Sami had looked at me, I saw how much she hated me for what I had done to her all those years ago. She had not forgotten about what had happened between us, and she sure as hell had not forgiven me either. Which was funny in some sick way as well, because that wildness about her, that temper and fire of hers, used to be one of the things that I had adored about her so damn much. And right now, it were those exact same trades, that were making my mission impossible to even begin with. Because I might had been able to feel the mate bond towards her, she most definitely did not feel it towards me, because she was a witch and not a wolf.

FUCK…

The way her gorgeous blue eyes shot daggers at me, tore my heart to pieces on the spot. I had wanted to sit down on my bare knees and beg for her forgiveness, explain myself and hope that maybe, just maybe, she would be able to give me another chance. At the same time, I was f*****g pissed at myself as well, which is why I slammed my fist against the nearest wall I could find once I had walked outside of the pack house and out of the kitchen, leaving her like I knew she wanted me to. The pain or the sound that my action gave, did not do anything to satisfy me or my restless wolf. I just got angrier at myself with each passing second.

Why didn’t I know this before?

Why didn’t I realize that she had been the one?

That she had always been the one?

FUCK!

Sami had stolen my heart when she was just a little girl. The first time I had come to her parent’s house, when I had knocked on their door because my mom and dad had told me that in that particular house, another boy lived who was around my age. I had gone over there to knock on their door, wanting to ask if that boy wanted to come outside and play with me. Little did I know that a small girl would come to open the door instead, black hair in two pig tails and big blue doe eyes staring right back at me in wonder. How old would Sami have been back then? Four? Five years old? Whatever the case may be, I guess I had loved her ever since then. I had loved her since the first time I had seen her. Which is probably why she had come along outside with her brother. It was probably why she had started to play along with us that day, forming a bond with us, forming a bond with me. And somehow, we had found a way to grow up together, to grow closer each and every single day. f**k… I could still remember sneaking to the back of her house where we had shared our first kiss together. The following fight that Adam and I had had, when he had found out about me sneaking around with his little sister, even though my intentions weren’t bad. They never had been, I had genuinely liked her… loved her even. I wasn’t just doing this because I was some horny kid who wanted some action in between the sheets. f**k… Sami had been special to me, even way back then.

A month after they moved away, was when I had first found my inner wolf. I had always thought that maybe it had had to do with the pain I was feeling over Sami and Adam moving away. That my wolf had come to me, in order to help me heal. To, in some way or form, fill up the hole that their moving away had caused in my heart. f**k… If my wolf would have come any sooner, I would have known that Sami was my one true mate. Which is why this all right now felt like a massive f*****g joke.

“Hey?” I heard someone call out to me, to which I turned and sighed in relief, seeing it was Derek, who was looking at me as if he was trying to figure out why I had just hit a brick wall that clearly wouldn't punch me back.

“What the hell is up with you?” He asked me as he walked towards me, to which I leaned against the wall, sticking my hands in my pockets to cover my bleeding knuckles.

“It’s nothing.” I sighed, shaking my head to which Derek’s eyebrows rose all the way up on his forehead.

“Yeah, sure. Fighting against a wall is something we all do from time to time to fill up our time.” Derek answered me in an ironic sounding voice, to which I just glared at him because I did not want to answer him.

“Is it the girl?” Derek asked me, to which I chuckled and looked away from him. The f*****g irony...

“I’m sorry man, I knew you were dating her way back then, but I figured you had moved on by now.” Derek apologized to me, to which I shook my head. He probably felt guilty now, because he had been the one to tell Alpha Archer about Sami and Adam in the first place. But I didn’t blame Derek. He simply didn’t know what had been playing in my mind, and in my heart. Not even after all those years.

“Don’t apologize, man. Things are just a f*****g mess right now.” I answered him, to which he cleared his voice.

“Mind telling me about it? I might be able to help.” He asked me as I bit the inside of my cheek.

“It was a f*****g mess when they moved away.” I stated, to which Derek just looked at me. Sure, he had been in the same rugby team as Adam and me back in the day, but he hadn’t been that close in our group. While Derek and I had grown up together and we had always been friends, at that point in time, he hadn’t been my best friend. That had come later in life, after we had graduated.

“OK. And?” He asked me, to which I laughed, because this whole mess was a joke.

“And now, they come back here, and my wolf just flipped out because he told me that Sami is my one true mate.” I told Derek, to which his eyebrows slammed up again.

“Sami? The witch is your mate?” Derek asked me, to which I nodded slowly.

“That’s great, congratulations man!” Derek laughed, to which I shook my head.

“No, it’s not great. In fact, it’s awful. She f*****g hates me.” I answered my Beta, who frowned as his eyes never looked away from me.

“Because you broke up when they moved?” He finished the sentence for me. And I nodded, because in a short story, that summed up most of it. Not all of it... but most.

“So, just talk and explain yourself to her.” Derek shrugged, as if it all seemed so easy to solve.

“I can’t… I hurt her back then, seriously hurt her.” I answered Derek, rubbing my hand over my face because, all of a sudden, I felt f*****g exhausted by all this mess I had found myself in.

“Get some sleep, think about it. We’ll find a solution.” Derek told me, patting me on the shoulder.

“Did you tell her who she is to you?” He asked me as he pushed me from the wall and we both started to walk around the pack house, towards the front door.

“No.” I answered him, shaking my head. Derek nodded, even though he remained silent.

Fuck… seeing Sami in the kitchen, felt as if I had been catapulted back into time. Back to our youth. To the time when I could just kiss her and hug her and sneak off to have s*x by the lake in the back of my truck when I had finally gotten my drivers license. And I wonder for the second time, how the hell we had been able to end up here. With Sami being back here and hating me to the core, while my wolf had just acknowledged her as our one true mate.

Shit on a stick is what this mess is… getting knocked in the gut felt like a walk in the park compared to this feeling. I didn’t know what I had expected to see when we would see each other again. Maybe a part of me had believed that she would still have that child-like figure, those skinny legs and the long hair. Maybe most of me had just tried not to think about it at all… maybe that was why I was so f*****g surprised, when I had seen her again. Her and her gorgeous curves, looking all sexy and full of sin, because that, for a fact, was not something I had been expecting. Or my wolf, that had been snarling in my head to get back to her and take what was rightfully ours… yeah, destiny sure through a curveball at me with this one.

“Everything will be all right.” Derek spoke out to me, his hand clapping against my back in a friendly way.

“The Moon Goddess will make sure that she will turn around. I’m sure of it.” He added, to which I chuckled, because clearly, Derek did not know Sami the way I did. He didn't know her fire... her wildness... This wasn't going to be easy. Far from it.

“Let’s hope so.” I decided on going with, even though I knew better.

“If you ever need my help with anything, just let me know, OK?” Derek told me, to which I nodded.

“Thanks brother, good night.” I sighed, trying my best to send him a forced smile.

“Sleep well.” Derek nodded at me, before he started to walk in the direction of his own home. While I kept standing at the front door of the pack house. For one, because I now knew for a fact that sleep would be a f*****g b***h. Hell… I knew Sami would haunt my every dream starting now. Maybe she never stopped doing that to even begin with. And two, I knew for a fact that now, once I would enter the f*****g pack house again, it would have my mate’s scent lingering around there somewhere. And visions of her standing in the pack house’s kitchen would only be turning me crazy from now on.

So yeah…

screwed is what we are… Both me and my wolf, Turak.

completely screwed.

And Karma... she is one f*****g bitch...

I learned that the hard way.