Thorns Of The Past.

Not So Fragile!

They were not fragile like flowers, they were fragile like bombs!

~at the same time, Bloody Snow Pack, Becky’s house~

Becky’s pov

I place Evan’s cup of coffee on the table in front of him and sit on the couch with mine in my hands.

It has been one day since Gabriel came and that incident in the forest happened and I haven’t left from my house yet. I know he is still here, my wolf tells me he is here and to be completely honest I feel it and I hate it!

What on earth is happening with these stupid kinds of bonds?

Mates and bullshit!

He marked someone else and I rejected him! The damn bond was supposed to be gone long time ago, to be honest, years ago but it’s not, it is still here somehow. Alright, it’s not so strong (thanks Goddess for this) but it is still frustrating for me and really annoying!

I didn’t have time to think a lot about it although, I wasn’t alone till this morning, the kids were always by my side, the four of them!

You see, I am a lucky woman and mother! They wanted to sleep here with me and I couldn’t deny them! We didn’t leave from the living room, we fell asleep here on the couches or on the floor in front of the fireplace after we drunk a little bit, relaxed and talked about everything else except from one specific thing…

Gabriel!

And this is why it was a pleasant night after I told them everything and we decided to leave the past behind us! I relaxed completely after that, I feel like a weight has left from my heart and shoulders, now they know and I am done hiding my pain!

I am free to mourn for a while as all these years I didn’t and then I will find my own redemption! I will be fine, finally!

So, as I was saying I was alone for about three hours in the morning, then the kids came to eat (I love cooking sometimes) and left some time ago again to train the teenagers of the pack after they had come back from their school! This happens only twice a week and today they had to… And this is why I am alone and Evan came to see me.

Marcus is taking care of some pack business in Evan’s place and Megan had to go to the companies’ main offices because we didn’t go last day and there are things that need to be done! At this point let me tell you I am lucky, I took some days off and this is the first time in my life they all agree about it and promised not to bother me for any reason and this time they are going to keep their promise considering the circumstances!

At least Gabriel did some ‘good’ things to me, it’s the first time I am on holidays and I don’t know what to do to kill my time!

Mm… Maybe I could have a trip somewhere or spend days in spas and go for shopping!

Anyway…

I look at Evan that is staring at his cup in silence and move a bit closer to him. He is nervous and from his expression I know he is a mess! I have never seen him so troubled and lost and I am aware of the reason he feels this way!

He is in the middle!

From what Mark told me secretly from the kids, they are friends from the college they had been in order to get trained as Alphas and their ‘bond’ was always very strong although Gabriel stopped talking to him some years later because he was ashamed.

Don’t make me commend this… That he was ashamed! There is no reason, I don’t believe a single word!

I place my hand on Evan’s arm as gently as I can and he snaps his head to me surprised. He was too deep in his thoughts and now he has turned pale and this makes my heart ache for him!

I know my ‘brother’, he had been always having only good intentions! It is not his fault that things took this path, he couldn’t have known, I never told him who my mate was!

“I am sorry I haven’t come home yet but… I want to stay alone here for a while!” I mutter apologetically and he smiles emotional while wrapping one arm around me.

I feel great knowing I have him by my side for once more, I had no doubt but now I need him more than the usual because we have the kids, they took it well but Gabriel’s presence could cause us lots of troubles and Evan is aware of it and I need him stronger than ever!

“You did the right thing so do not apologize to me!” he says and kisses my cheek making me chuckle.

“And… I come here because I want us to talk alone!” he continues getting nervous again and I feel his muscles tightening against my body.

“I know! He asked you, right?” I say in acknowledge and he nods firmly.

I knew it! I think it sounds stupid but I know Gabriel’s wicked side well enough! This kind of behavior is something I was expecting! He never accepts to lose, he stops at nothing, he is not scared, he is an Alpha… With everything else this means!

“He asked me about everything! I didn’t tell him details, only the general and this happened before Mark tell me he is your ex mate and the kids’ father! It hadn’t crossed my mind and I feel like an i***t Becks!” he replies and with his other free hand rubs the back of his head avoiding eye contact with me.

“Don’t feel! It was my fault, I never told you his name because I wasn’t strong enough! I told only Megan because we had the time and I could cry freely! You know how complicated I can be sometimes! When it comes to him and what he did to me I am not used to think of it! With kids and so many responsibilities and duties who has time to think and face the past?” I say feeling guilty he is apologizing when he did nothing wrong and he kisses the top of my head.

I made him feel better, this is something and I am glad I did it because I meant what I just told him!

“And I talked to the kids, they had to know eventually!” I add after some seconds in silence and caress his knee while taking a sip from my coffee.

“I get it! Did you tell them that someone had been trying to kill you for some months before you leave from Italy?” he whispers knowing that nobody has to know about it and I sign in frustration.

He is sure about my answer but he wanted to ask me to get sure for once more about my intentions or to remind me that I have lived through worse things than this! He is somehow trying to encourage me because I am in tension because of this discussion about Gabriel and the fact that he is still here.

“Of course not! This is going to stay between Megan, Mark, Raina, you and me forever!” I reply quickly and he shakes his head in understanding with a sympathetic smile.

“And how are you feeling? We haven’t talked at all and I am worried!” he asks next and I shake my head thoughtfully.

I am going to tell him the truth! I had never problem of expressing my feelings and thoughts to him! He is my rock, the big brother I had but unfortunately left behind me when I had to run away because I do have a biological brother, Brandon, he is two years older than me and he was always my god!

“I am better than I was expecting, I calmed down now they know everything! I just need some time to find my peace, you know…”

“Yes, I know! You are right and now you won’t work, you will have all the time you need to relax!” he says rubbing my arm and I turn to him in frustration.

At this point comes the ‘big’ and unfortunately necessary answer.

“And why is he still here?” I whisper through my teeth with Bria growling in my mind and Evan stiffens immediately.

I see… I won’t like it so I am already preparing myself although I guess I can imagine the reason he is not leaving!

So guess what is going to happen in the end! We are going to kill each other but this time I am not planning to lose, I will send him to hell!

“Um… He wants to talk to you and I have no damn idea of how to behave, really! I am in the middle and I am freaking out! I am sorry, I don’t know what else to do and the last thing I want is the kids getting mad at me! I feel horribly!” he says breathless and I can see some drops of sweat running from his forehead.

God! He is right to feel this way, I understand him even though he shouldn’t feel bad! I can’t get mad at him and I am never going to bring him in difficult position! I appreciate the fact that he is trying to be discreet and stay out of it! He wants us to deal with it and I agree! He has no reason to interfere and make things worse and as for the kids… They won’t try to make a scene when he is not taking Gabriel’s side, they know Evan’s way of thinking, he is wise and they respect and take seriously his opinion.

“Don’t worry! The kids and I are never going to accuse you or even think negatively about you! And…” I say and pause sighing heavily.

Damn it!

I can’t believe what I am about to say! I mean, this is the only thing I can do to stop everything here and now! I am not afraid of facing him now there is no secret anymore, I am not risking something and the sooner I put an end, the better for my family and me!

He won’t leave otherwise and I don’t need more incidents like the one yesterday, this is the last thing we want (except from Ryker, he has wild intentions).

So, there is only one thing I can do and I am the hell ready for it, it was about time!

“And I am more than ready!” Bria growls through her teeth and I nod firmly doing my best not to get angry yet.

I clear my throat and turn to Evan, he is already looking at me and his expression has darkened as he is trying to read mine and I am sure it is much worse than his.

“I am going to talk to him, right now!” I state and before he reacts I stand up and leave my cup on the small table.

He is staring at me for a while with his eyes and mouth widely open, he is not moving, he is turning pale and I keep on standing in front of him with determination. I am more confident than ever, I have no problem to face him for one last time and I am not stepping back!

He wants us to talk so let’s see him now!

“Really Becks? Why?” Evan asks after some seconds in an awkward silence and I feel my eyes turning darker from rage.

“Because I want him to leave the sooner!”

~at the same time pack house~

Claire’s pov

I get closer to the pack house and greet some more pack members that bow to me like always with big, bright smiles on their faces. They are probably the last I see before I get in the house and I am relieved I won’t have to force myself in smiling anymore and I will finally find some peace.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore this pack, this is my home and these people are my big family, I know them all, I love talking to them in person and helping them in any way I can but since last day I want some privacy and time on my own!

I left training earlier than the usual because the guys could make it without me and I said I was tired, something that is practically true because psychologically I am a wreck!

I am acting from the moment I saw him and I am doing this for my mother and brother, not that I want Blaze being more worried than he already is for me! I need to stand tall like always, I have to make sure he won’t affect me, I won’t change for him! This is why I need some time alone to think and realize everything, it is still hard for me to believe what he has done to my mother and his behavior is…

Freaking me out in lots of ways!

This is the main reason I feel so exhausted, I am thinking all the time, I feel dizzy the more I am recalling my mother’s words from last night and when I remember of the way he looked at me… Well…

The blood in my veins freezes!

It feels more like a bad dream I am trying to deny or ignore and I don’t know how to feel anymore! I have no clue as to what is right and what is wrong, how I am supposed to behave or think!

It hurts like hell to be honest, now that I am gradually accepting the truth I feel my heart breaking into small, sharp pieces that cut me deeply and I can’t lie as to why I feel this way!

You see, I always wanted a father, my father! I was not exactly jealous of the other kids that had a dad but I was feeling a craving to have mine by my side! I don’t know why it was so important to me, I mean, Ryker never had this need, he was never asking or caring! Now I know it is logical because the boys usually have a special bond with their mothers and the girls with their fathers but it is still not logical for me. Ryker seemed to hate him from the beginning although we were kids and we had no idea about the whole truth!

Maybe his bond with my mom is what made him feel that something was way wrong or maybe he is more protective over her (and me) because of his nature, he is a man, now we know he has Alpha’s blood and he is very responsible and caring with the people he loves!

Yes, my brother is my protector from the day we were born and he was always next to me, he never left my hand, he never stopped loving me and doing anything he could to keep me happy! The exact same thing goes for our mom as well but with her he is just losing his mind!

She is our guardian angel and our greatest weakness but for him she is more than these…

Ryker always had his female idol and I got my male idol when we came here about 12 years ago! And this is my father, Evan he is the dad I always needed and fate had decided to be generous with me and he did became my father when I and Blaze realized we are mates! Alright, uncle Mark is also a very special man to me but with my dad…

I don’t know how to explain the way I feel, he is an amazing man and I am lucky Blaze is just like him! I have everything I always wanted and I am happy, I feel whole for the very first time but…

Why did he have to appear now?

I had almost forgotten about my biological father’s whole thing and now I am back at zero!

Anyway, I can make it! I have everyone I love with me and Blaze is a dream that came true, he is the best mate I could have ever asked for, I am his queen, this is what he says all the time and he treats me this way as well, he gives me no reason to have doubts or feel not enough!

I get in the pack house some time later and close the door behind me. It is quite silent today, I mean the omegas are all up in their rooms or they are out, they are working only in the mornings and for our family they are equal and extremely important pack members. We love them and they love us, we are too close, we have fun all together sometimes and we are not like other packs that treat the omegas like they are slaves. They have our full respect and this is why we have their full loyalty!

I walk to the living room heading to the stairs as I want to go up to mine and Blaze’s room but stop in the middle of it when I listen to a discreet full of nervousness foot’s tapping and I take his scent.

Well…

He is still here and from the scent, the direction of the noise and knowing my house so well I am sure he is at the meeting room which is right next to this room!

My wolf, Ciera starts moving in frustration in my mind and I get dizzier than I already was one second ago. She doesn’t want him, in fact she hates him, especially after we were told the truth!

He ‘killed’ my mother and with her he killed us as well!

Ciera knows how painful his absence had been for me all these years and she is generally a strict wolf when it comes to mates and pack’s things! She is a Luna like I am and she can’t accept or try to understand some things! I don’t blame her, I agree most of the times and in this one I couldn’t agree more with her, we are talking about our mother here and I don’t care if his blood is running in my veins as well!

He was never here, he didn’t care about her so how can he care about us now?

This is ridiculous and do you know what?

I am going to face him right here and now! I won’t avoid him and I won’t try to ignore him! This is my house, I am the Luna and what I say goes! I don’t feel comfortable with him here and I am sure my father allowed him to stay but I really want him to leave! I don’t even want to think of what is going to happen if Ryker understands he is still here and I am not so worried about Blaze because he is generally much calmer and if I ask from him not to make it a big deal, he will listen to me, he will respect my wish.

Alright Claire, go! Do it! Tell him to leave, this is what you want, this is how you feel, he has no place here!

I take a deep breath and the exhale harshly, I gain my mind and confidence back and get rid of my nervousness and hesitations. Ciera howls imposingly and takes her proud position in my mind and I shake my head pleased.

Okay, here we go!

I walk to the meeting room’s door that is closed and once I am right in front of her I open without knocking not caring if it’s rude or not and then get in.

The very next second he jumps up from the chair he had been sitting at the other side of the room and freezes shocked. I also get paralyzed to be honest and lock my eyes on his, they are just like Ryker’s and I think I see my brother in an older age, this is how much they look alike. It is the same thing that happens with my mom and me, weird, right?

We stay frozen like statues for some seconds, we are not breaking eye contact and I feel my heartbeat getting faster and stronger, it is really painful and I can’t breathe. My skin shudders more intensively as the seconds pass and I lose the time’s sense.

I feel only pain, nothing else and he is not helping me! He seems to be lost, he has turned pale, his jaw is clenching and he can’t breathe just like me but he is also shaking, he can’t hide it and this is confusing.

He was giving no s**t and suddenly he what?

“Claire…” he whispers breathless breaking the silence and preventing me from speaking up first and I clear my throat.

I already know what I want to tell him, I took this from my mother, I am quick to think and I am not changing my mind, I am stable and I don’t like delaying things.

“Why are you still in my pack and in my house Alpha Jones?” I ask coldly using my Luna’s tone and he stiffens lowering his head but if he thinks this is affecting me, then he is fooling himself.

I feel nothing and I am not sorry at all! He is a stranger to me, he will always be so why would I care about what he feels?

“Claire… I want to explain myself and apologize! You are right, whatever you say you will be right but I had no idea about you and your brother!” he says trembling and takes some steps to me with me not moving at all.

I won’t step back for even an inch, I am not afraid and I won’t let him touch me!

And do I have to make a comment about what he just said?! This is the cheapest excuse I have ever heard, not even a child is so…

SHIT!

“You didn’t need to know! It was way better in this way, it was for the best!” I reply firmly and he stops about a meter from me shaking more than before with a ‘hurt’ look that gets on my nerves.

He is a great actor, I have to admit it!

“I don’t need to hear anything from you, I have drawn my own conclusions and I am perfectly fine with it!” I add and he shakes his head nervously in despair sighing almost panicked.

“No, I need to explain to you everything! Claire, please…”

“I don’t want to listen to you!” I cut him off strictly before he says more and he runs both of his hands through his hair.

He gives me some seconds to check on him from closer and in this way I can see some details I hadn’t noticed till now…. His eyes for example are not shining, he has bags under them, he looks tired or in too much tension and I could say he is not so confident like he was yesterday.

I don’t know how I would be supposed to feel but I feel nothing except from the pain I feel from the beginning, nothing changes.

“We are going to lose our time, there is no reason for us to talk, I don’t need your explanations!” I continue realizing that he is unable of talking and this seems to help him because he locks his eyes on me again and exhales.

“Why are you saying this?” he asks with a voice that cracks and some tears make their appearance in his eyes and this is not helping me now.

Why is he doing this?

Why is he trying to cry?

I don’t need to feel guilty when I know I am right, he is just lying!

“Focus and end this Claire!” Ciera growls running out of patience and I nod immediately.

She is right, I am ending this so I clear my throat again and force myself not to cry because either I like it or not the idea hurts like hell!

“Because you can’t love me!” I state through my teeth and he blinks his eyes gasping getting ready to open his mouth but I won’t give him this opportunity.

“You never loved my mother and I am just like her!” I continue and he stumbles taking a step back with tears falling from his eyes now.

I can’t feel sorry for him, I feel already sorry enough for myself because I am never going to have his acceptance and I have done nothing to deserve such a thing!

“How can you love me when you didn’t love her? For you I am always going to be what she had been… A toy!” I conclude and before any of us reacts the door opens widely and my mother gets in with my father.

“Claire?” they exclaim in union and I shake my head avoiding looking at them.

Damn, this wasn’t supposed to happen! I wanted nobody to know about it!

My mother is not so surprised to be honest, she is getting suspicious and her eyes travel from me to Gabriel and again the same thing. She is not mad either, thankfully but…

This is not helping me relax because I don’t want her to know and suffer more and as for my dad…

He is really shocked, he can’t believe his eyes and he is doddering while gasping.

I don’t care about Gabriel, I don’t even look at him, the last thing that matters me is how he feels.

“What…” my mother begins to say but then we listen to the house’s door banging and quick, heavy footsteps getting closer.

It’s Kira and I suddenly have a bad feeling, it’s like…

“Aunt, uncle, Claire!” she shouts and breaks into the room between my parents with her eyes landing instantly on me.

No!

“What is it?” I ask demandingly and she sighs panicked.

“We are under rogues’ attack!”

************************

Hello everyone!

This is the 6th chapter and we know Claire's opinion about her father as well!

First of all, I would like to share with you something that got me mad, sad and troubled, it has to do with the previous chapter about Hayley... This incident happened in the other app I am using as well and I would just like to share it with you because it is above me, really!

Well, I am sad to say there are people that say in public with no shame that they feel no sorry or even sympathy for what a 16 years old girl is passing through, especially when she is dealing with abusement, bullying and everyone's hatred for something it wasn't her fault! But he does not stop there, he wishes worse to her! So, I know this is a story but things like this happen to lots of other girls and women right this moment and this is really frustrating for me! I am just wondering how can we say something like this even for something in a story when we know that other people are living in a reality like this in our days!

So this kind of creatures that walk in two legs (I am sorry but I can't call them people or humans because we are supposed to have some basic differences from the 'animals' and they have none) have to at least be careful of how they are talking in public or not talk at all!

Anyway, I wish this person nothing and we continue before I break my laptop (I am furious, yes)!

So what do you think of chapter? How do you feel about the way Becky is dealing with it? What do you think about Gabriel's need to talk to her? What about Claire (she seems to be more sensitive but she has a strong side)? How do you feel about everything she told Gabriel? What is going to happen next?

I am very curious to know your opinions and thoughts and I need to thank you for everything. I hope you liked this chapter and you have begun loving the story. Everything is explained now and from this moment things get in a new level!

Plese if you want to help me from now that is still the beginning and you are looking forward for more commend and let me know your opinion and thoughts!

I will see you again in the next chapter (unless you are reading my other books). Until then stay safe, smile and have fun!

Love you all very much,

                                    Marie!