Thorns Of The Past.

"You Killed Me!"

"I can't die again because you killed me, for once and for all!"

~Bloody Snow Pack~

Becky’s pov

“Come on, we need a bath and then we have to go at the company!” I say as I stand in front of the tree I shifted and got dressed and she laughs.

“Why are you always so restless? All I am asking for is two minutes!” she yells teasingly and I roll my eyes sighing.

This friend of mine is crazy even though he is 39 years old, she is acting like a small girl and I love it but all the times are not the same… Like this one for example, we have so many things to do and she is bored so she decides to earn time in this way!

Anyway, Megan is cute and the most important friend I had ever had in my life! From the first moment we met we became one and she knows everything about me, she is the only one! She is the sister I never had and she loves my kids like they are hers.

She hasn’t become a mother, she had an accident lots of years ago, she got heavily injured and the damage was permanent but this is why she loves every kid there is and especially my kids and my kids are crazy for her as well…

You see, I have twins and it was pretty difficult for me to raise them on my own but fortunately from the moment I came here everything changed! Now I don’t have only two kids, I have three, I have Evan that is my older brother and shelter, Megan with Mark and also one entire pack that loves and supports me.

I took the role I was supposed to have taken back to my pack even though Evan and I are not a couple. I don’t know how it happened, really, I guess it came out of all of us naturally and I can’t complain! I never wanted to become a Luna to be honest, it never mattered me but my ex mate was the pack’s Alpha and… Anyway, I just wanted to support him.

And here I don’t know why but it happened instinctually, the pack treated me like its Luna from the beginning, Evan has been having me like his sister, he has lost his mate, Blaze, his son calls me ‘mom’ from the second day we met and I became the Luna unofficially. But I am happy because I wanted to help them as much as they helped me.

I came here after six very tough and difficult for me years, I nearly died, I was raising two kids on my own, I needed protection and to feel loved and here I found everything so it was the least I could do. This is my home if you ask me, I want to be nowhere else!

“Megan!” I yell after a while with her still getting dressed and get ready to leave when she laughs and jumps on my back.

“Crazy girl!” I murmur and she chuckles.

“I love you too Becks!” she says cheerfully and we start walking to the pack house that is about 100 meters away.

We were training for about two hours, then we left to go for a run and now we came back to get ready and leave for the company. This is our routine most of the times and we skip the last one hour of training as the kids don’t need our help anymore and we like going for runs in our wolf forms.

And when I say kids I don’t mean ‘kids’ but for me they are because they will always be my babies! As I mentioned before I have twins, Ryker and Claire, they are 18 years old and I raised them without my mate, sorry ex mate but one more child got added when I met Evan’s son, Blaze that is 19 years old now and Claire’s mate!

You understand that they are not kids anymore but anyway… Blaze and Claire became the Alphas about four months ago and Ryker became the Beta because Mark and Megan don’t have any kid to take their title and also because he is strong as he was supposed to become an Alpha right after his father but this never happened because I run away…

And this is another big, painful for me story because that man broke my heart for once and for all and he did it with success because till now I never thought of finding someone else, not that I had time with kids to take care of but I am not ready, I don’t want to try!

“Um, earth to Becks! I am talking!” she says shaking her hand in front of me and I stop blinking my eyes.

Huh?

“I am sorry, I was…”

“Thinking! Again!” she cuts me off and I nod with guilt.

“Are you still having this bad feeling?” she asks after some seconds in silence and I sigh nervously.

Um, yeah, about that… I have a weird feeling about one week now and I don’t know why. Usually I am very calm, at least the last 12 years I am here but these days I have no idea what is happening. I am not sleeping so much, I am not eating, I can’t concentrate and my wolf, Bria is always moving in my mind.

“I am an i***t, aren’t I? I have the perfect life and I am in tension for no reason… I am getting crazy, like you!” I reply teasingly and she laughs wrapping one arm around me.

“My friend maybe you need a man! Yes, you have the perfect life now, your kids, Evan, the pack, Mark, me but... It’s not the same, a mate is a completely different story!” she says with meaning and I groan in annoyance.

NOT AGAIN!

“You know I don’t want to get in this whole thing again! I am fine on my own and now I have finally time for myself, you know I love my kids but they are old enough now, they can take care of themselves, they don’t need me running behind them and I have time to spend time alone, travel, have fun and relax!” I reply in hurry and she stops walking turning me to face her.

Her black eyes meet mine and I stiffen under her serious gaze. She is a beautiful woman by the way, she has too long dark brown hair, a sweet rose skin, full lips, big black eyes that look quite strict when she gets serious and silent and she has a normal height and weight like me.

I know what is going to happen again or to say it better what I am going to hear. She is the one that knows my whole story with my ex mate and she is the one that wants me to find someone and be happy.

“Becks, you are a tough woman, capable of everything, whatever I say won’t be enough to describe how strong and smart you are but you need your happy ending! Look at you! You are 35 years old and you look like 25, you are gorgeous and I want to see you with someone that will treat you like you are his queen!” she starts and I raise my hands to caress her arms with a warm smile on my face.

“I know Meg but… I can’t and you know I have men to treat me like this…” I say softly.

“Your sons are not what I mean! Ryker behaves like you are his Goddess, he is overprotective, he is taking care of you, he is worried about you and Blaze is the one that melts for you but you need a mate! That asshole never deserved you and you have to forget about him!” she replies in sympathy and takes one step closer to me.

SHIT!

“I can’t forget, I need peace now! I am the man of my life, you know it!” I say emotionally and she hugs me before some tears fall from my eyes.

Damn you Gab… You didn’t kill me only once, you keep on killing me every day of my life! I am trying to seem strong and I am when it comes to everything else except from your betrayal! You destroyed me, you left me alone and you didn’t even have the guts to come and tell me, you waited for me to leave and mark my best friend that knew and didn’t care at all. You are the damn reason I run away, I left my pack, my family, I gave birth alone, I raised my kids alone without you, I faced so many dangers on my own and I can’t find my peace.

“Do you think of him?” Megan asks me softly and I nod with my head buried in her neck.

“I can’t forget the way he killed me and… When I look at Ryker and Claire… I can’t do otherwise, they have a piece of him and Ryker looks like him so much Megan, the older he gets the more he reminds me of him! He is strong, serious, confident and his expressions and general behavior are like his…” I murmur fighting not to cry and she taps my back gently.

You know, I am never talking about how I feel about him, it’s the first time I am telling her… I never wanted to talk, I was never strong enough but right now I feel like drowning and maybe it’s because I have this feeling that is frustrating me even more.

I have learned to keep everything inside, I had to because I had no one for about six years and I needed to be strong for the kids. Then, when I came here and I found the home I always wanted I denied admitting that he was a part of my thoughts, he doesn’t deserve it anyway.

“Shh… Come on baby, forget about the asshole I want so much to kill and let’s go! We can go for lunch alone at a restaurant if you want and get out tonight! We will have time and you are going to feel better, okay?” she asks encouragingly and I pull back nodding.

Well, she has a point here Becky! Forget the asshole and try to calm down and have some fun!

“Fine, let’s…”

“HEY! You two that skipped the last one hour of training again!” Mark shouts laughing cutting me off and we turn to him smirking.

He is coming from the training fields probably, this is why he knows we left again and he is always teasing us for this. He says that I and Megan found the best partner in committing our ‘crimes’ because we love spending most of our time together (with the companies, the pack, the kids).

“What is it Mark? Did you decide to attend training in the ends of it for once after so many months and you have problem we weren’t there?” she asks him wickedly as he approaches us and he shakes his head negatively.

He hugs her quickly (they are crazy for each other) and kisses her cheek as I smirk admiring them but the next second they pull me for a big group hug and we break into laughing together.

Alright, this time I didn’t see it coming although they are never leaving me without a hug!

“So, mind to tell us why you went to the training fields?” I ask after a while and he nods immediately.

“I wanted to inform the kids and you that we have a visitor, he’s Evan old friend and you have to come and meet him the sooner.” He replies and both Megan and I raise our eyebrows surprised.

Weird… Evan always informs us about this kind of things from the previous day.

“And why are you telling us now? We had to know hours ago!” Megan says reading my thoughts and he shakes his head apologetically.

“He called Evan a while ago to tell him he wanted to come, he was somewhere close for some business and Evan accepted immediately! You don’t know him, they were friends lots of years ago but something happened and they stopped having communication. Evan was very excited about meeting him again!” he explains and I sign in understanding.

This explains a lot, so I don’t know him!

“And who is he?” I ask and Megan nods impatiently.

“An Alpha, Gabriel Jones!” he replies and…

I freeze, lose the ground under my feet and stumble, my heart stops, everything is spinning, I need to throw up and I feel dizzy, desperate and scared! This can’t be happening, my ears are mistaken, I just listened to his name because I am already too frustrated.

He is… Here?

No, no, no!

“MATE!” Bria screams panicked moving like crazy and I feel even dizzier.

I close my eyes and before I realize it I fall on my knees gasping for air. I think I am about to pass out and…

“Becky, what is happening? Meg?” Mark exclaims worried and kneels in front of me as I open my eyes a bit with my vision blurred.

“s**t!” she yells and caps my face before Mark touches me.

She is pale, I can see how worried she is, I know her, her eyes are shining and her jaw is clenching with her hands turning cold against my hot skin.

She knows this is a disaster, a nightmare!

“What is wrong? Becks?” Mark asks again losing his patience and I shake my head pulling away.

“He is her ex mate Mark, he is... Their father!” Megan says breathless trembling and he opens his eyes widely shocked.

“f**k MY LIFE!” he mutters and runs his hands through his hair.

“We are done! He found me?! And now… The kids, what if… Ryker is going to kill him and Claire… NO!” I murmur panicked and stand up trembling with some help from Megan that looks already calmer.

What am I going to do now?

This wasn’t supposed to happen!

I can’t see him, I won’t bare it! He left me for her and now they have a perfect life, they are happy, he knows nothing about me or this is what I had been thinking till now. What if he somehow learned I am here and this is why he came? I know he was trying to find me at the beginning…

And there are the kids now! He had no idea, the doctor at the camp told him nothing, I know because she had been helping me, she took me with her and if it wasn’t her then I wouldn’t have managed to run away. What if he wants to meet them? I mean, they are his and…

No, he must have kids with her, she doesn’t need mine and Ryker with Claire can’t find out about him! Ryker is going to kill him immediately with Blaze and Claire is going to be heartbroken.

I never told them about him, they didn’t want to know because they were smart enough to understand that he didn’t want me so he wouldn’t want them as well. I didn’t try to change their mind also, I mean to talk to them and excuse him. I don’t want to lie to them, Ryker wants nothing to do with him, he feels only hatred for his ‘father’ and Claire is the sensitive one, and this always hurt her a lot. She wanted a father from when she was one year old, she was asking about him but after about three years she stopped, she had understood he didn’t care about us. And the more they were growing up the more they were avoiding this topic and also Evan and Mark got in our life and they became the ‘fathers’ of theirs.

So…

Alright Rebecca, focus and calm down, you can make it, you are strong and you know what you have to do!

I take a deep breath and stand on my own appropriately. I wipe some sweat from my forehead and exhale heavily with my eyes locked on Megan’s and Bria stops moving, howls with confidence and nods for me to deal with it the sooner.

Yes, this is it!

“The kids mustn’t know about him and he has to leave from here!” I state as Mark stands up slowly and nods a bit dizzy and confused.

“Yes, but how?” he asks frustrated and I turn again to Meg that seems to read my thoughts as she nods firmly.

Yes, she does know me!

“Mark, go right now to Evan and tell him in private about it! He has to take Gabriel away the sooner! And you Megan, go and try to delay the kids, the training is about to finish and the last thing we want is Gabriel meeting them!” I say in hurry and she signs quickly.

“And what about you?” Mark asks ready to leave to the pack house that is about 30 meters away.

“I will go and stay at the forest till…”

“BECKY!”

Third person’s pov

She turned to the direction his strong, clear voice had come from and her big, almost wet eyes froze the second they met his two dark brown almost black.

He was standing right in front of the pack house dressed in a formal pair of black trousers and a white shirt with the sleeves forded on his elbows. His chocolate brown hair was messy, his strong body was moving slightly as he was trembling uncontrollably and his expression was broken yet surprised.

It was like he was watching a ghost in an angel’s shape in front of him. His heart was ready to explode, he had lost his breath, he couldn’t control himself, and his legs were too weak suddenly.

Becky was standing opposite of him alive, she was not dead and she looked more beautiful than ever and too young. He observed for a while her appearance trying to get sure he wasn’t dreaming and it was her with his wolf howling and asking from him to approach her but he couldn’t.

Her dark blonde hair was moving from the sudden breeze with her scent travelling to him straightly. Her hair was shorter than the last time he had seen her so many years ago, it was reaching her breasts and her eyes were a bit lighter and not so brown, they had a sweet honey color and they were a bit puffy. Her skin was pale but her cheek too red and her lips seemed pinker with her body stronger and most imposing. She had curves now, she wasn’t the young girl she had been, she was a woman and her dark blue sports trousers with the sleeveless black top were hugging her body perfectly but her expression…

It was changing all the time and for him it was scary as he could distinguish anger, hatred, disgust, pain, panic and in the end nothing. She wore her cold mask, the one Gabriel had never seen and her eyes shined while she pressed her lips and held back a growl with her hands turning to fists.

Becky didn’t feel powerless anymore, she had found her usual brave spirit, she remembered everything she had survived and accomplished and the transformation inside her happened instinctually.

Gabriel wouldn’t win her again, he had killed her once, he couldn’t do it again, he had nothing else to take from her, she had nothing to give him!

“BECKY!” he exclaimed again like he was realizing that he wasn’t living in a dream and she took a slow step backwards with a challenging look.

She knew what she had to do to keep him away from her kids…

“Mark, go to Evan and tell him to come and find us in the forest. Megan, go to the kids. Gabriel is coming with me…” she whispered through her teeth with her gaze never leaving Gabriel’s and they groaned nervously in agreement.

“Okay… Let’s play!” her wolf stated standing tall in her mind and Becky nodded.

She turned around and began running to the forest like someone was chasing her and her plan worked because Gabriel ‘woke up’ and run behind her scared of losing her ignoring Mark and Megan that run to different directions to do what Becky had told them to.

Mark had to find Evan and tell him that Gabriel was Becky’s ex mate and he had to leave the sooner without Ryker, Blaze and Claire understand a thing. Ryker had made clear that he would kill his ‘father’ if he would dare to appear in front of them, Blaze had the same opinion with him and Claire just didn’t want to see him because deep inside her she had been feeling unwanted and rejected.

Megan from the other side had to find a good reason to delay them, Ryker had a special bond with his mother, he would try to see her and he shouldn’t understand that something was wrong.

Becky got in the forest, passed by the first woods and speeding up knowing every corner of the place well enough. Her anger was rising the more seconds were passing and the fact that Gabriel was running behind her while calling her name in desperation wasn’t helping her a lot.

She couldn’t understand him, he didn’t want her so why was he chasing her?

He had chosen someone else, her best friend, the pretty and hot one so why was he so fond of talking to her?

He was a hypocrite, he always had been one but now he was even more. He wanted to talk to her, care for her, what did he want?

He had never cared so what had changed now? Was he feeling guilty?

“Becky! Stop!” he screamed desperate again after a while closing the distance between them as his legs were longer than hers and he was fast by nature.

But she didn’t stop, she tightened her teeth from rage, her eyes got darker and she speeded up more using every power she had.

“Becky!” he screamed louder following her blindly with his wolf roaring for him not to lose her.

His feelings were changing every second, that was how frustrated and overwhelmed he was.

At the beginning he had lost it, he couldn’t believe his eyes, he had thought he was dreaming but when she turned and run away he realized that everything was real and she was there alive. And she was running away from him, again…

Fear and agony took place in his heart, he had lost her once and he couldn’t lose her again, she didn’t want him and she was right but he had to talk to her, he had to ask for her forgiveness and ask a chance.

He loved her and he knew it from the beginning, she was the one for him and the last 15 years for him was a living hell because she was not there with him. He died when he thought she had died about 12 years ago, his world darkened and now he couldn’t let her go again.

He had to stop her, she had to know what she meant for him and he needed a second chance.

“Becky, I won’t stop!” he roared getting closer to her and deeper in the green, thick forest.

For once more she didn’t stop or turned around to him. She continued running breathless but she could feel he wasn’t that far anymore, he was always fast and he was a man after all. Sooner or later he would manage to reach her and then she would have to face him and she didn’t want this to happen but she couldn’t avoid it either.

So she had to get ready, she had to put him in his place and keep him away from her until Mark and Evan would go to help her and take him. She hoped they wouldn’t be late, she couldn’t imagine herself alone with Gabriel for too long, she would kill him…

Some seconds passed with both of them running like crazy when she listened to Gabriel’s footsteps from much closer and she cursed under her breath outraged. She could almost feel him, she could smell him like he was next to her and her heart began hurting her.

Gabriel was now less than four meters behind her, he wasn’t going to step back, he was going to talk to her, she wouldn’t run away again.

“Becky enough!” he roared again without affecting her although he was using his alpha tone.

“Alright, she asked for it! Don’t let my mate get away!” his wolf screamed outraged and he nodded.

He took a deep breath in any way he could and got ready to put an end.

The game was over!

He jumped on her, wrapped his arms around her body and they fell on the ground with him under her. His back hit the hard and abnormal from rocks, branches and leaves ground and he tightened his hold around Becky that cried out from surprise and pain.

She landed on top of him with her back touching his hard chest and stomach and both of them sighed overwhelmed from the sparks that were supposed to be gone.

Gabriel had marked someone else, Becky has rejected him and he had accepted it so why did they feel sparks again after so many years?

Gabriel stayed frozen for a while trying to breathe and get rid of the strong pain he felt on his back from their fall and opened his eyes some seconds later to see Becky’s head resting on his chest above his heart with her hair all over his left shoulder and arm.

She wasn’t moving, her breath was cut, her heart was aching, her head was spinning and she was paralyzed for some seconds. She was confused and when she opened her eyes slowly she saw the trees above her, the quite cloudy sky or better a part of it because the trees were too tensed and she sighed heavily.

She tried to move above him but his tight hold didn’t allow her to make it with success and everything came clear in her mind.

Gabriel was holding her and she was lying on top of him.

Her anger made his appearance again and the sparks disappeared for her. She tried to sit up and get away from him but he didn’t soften his hold or got caught off guard. Her scent had overwhelmed him even more, he was still in pain and he couldn’t feel his heart anymore but he was denying letting her go.

“Becky…” he whispered weakly and took some short, sharp breaths.

“Let me go damn it!” she screamed struggling above him more than before gaining her mind completely.

“Shh… It’s fine baby! I…” he began in a try to calm her down but his words woke up the beast inside her with her wolf roaring.

“It’s nothing fine because you exist!” she cut him off and hit him on the stomach with her elbow.

And that time she made him soften his hold because of the pain and with one more hit she sat up, snapped his hands away and jumped up like a flash leaving him on the ground coughing.

She took some steps back breathless and placed her hands above her heart that was in more pain than before. Her eyes although were looking at Gabriel that sat up as well and gasped with a hurt expression and his eyes locked on hers.

They were looking at each other with less than two meters separating them and the time stopped.

Memories of the past appeared in their minds and Becky took a step back with her eyes turning almost black while Gabriel stood up opposite of her with tears blurring his vision.

Some memories were common for them while some others were different…

Becky remembered the day they had mated, his promises, his full of love words, the day she felt the pain when he was marking Michelle and passed out to be informed that she was pregnant once she had woken up at the camp’s hospital, the way she run away humiliated and heartbroken, the day she had given birth and the difficulties she had faced because of him…

And Gabriel, from the other side, the day they had found out they were mates, how they had mated at the lake house that night, his vows to her, how he had felt when he was observing her leaving for the camp, how much he had regretted for choosing Michelle when his sister called to tell him that Becky had run away and the pain he had felt when he thought she was dead…

He took one step to her devastated yet scared and she took one back again. Her expression was again hard and full of rage and hatred. She wasn’t going to seem weak again, the old sweet, easily to get treated Becky was gone, now she was…

“Becky…” he whispered and raised his shaking hands to her like he was asking from her to touch him.

“REBECCA!” she stated wildly with a growl that made his skin shudder.

“For you I am Rebecca!” she continued and took one determinate step towards him like a lioness that was ready to kill her prey.

Gabriel’s heart broke into pieces from her tone, gaze and statement. He knew how much she hated to be called Rebecca! She was always reacting to this, she loved to be called Becky. Rebecca was just for the strangers and now…

She was treating him like he was a stranger for her and he deserved it.

“Why did you come here?” she asked not leaving him time to react and he lowered his head nervously not knowing what to reply.

“Leave! Go back to your pack and don’t come here again!” she continued and took two more steps to stand some inches away from him.

He lifted his head up using the less courage he had and he locked his watery eyes on her big almost black ones. If she could kill him with her gaze then she would have already killed him and her aura was for the first time more imposing and strong than his.

She had the power, not he…

“I… I thought you… I am sorry! I felt the pain… 12 years ago and… I… Believed that you… Were… Dead. I died!” He said trembling as tears fall from his eyes and sobs escaped his throat.

The next moment her hot palm touched his cheek and his head turned with violence on his right from her strong slap. The noise echoed in the silent forest, some birds left the trees and flied away scared and a louder sobbed came out of Gabriel’s lips.

He was one step away from collapsing on the ground, he wanted to beg her to listen to him and forgive him, he had to correct his mistakes and win her again, he couldn’t live without her again, now he knew it but…

For Becky it was not the same! She wanted nothing to do with him, the kind Becky was gone because she had paid her kindness, naivety, purity, trust and love.

She bitted her lower lip furiously trying to stop herself from attacking him and she bitted it with so much power that she cut it and it began bleeding but she could feel no pain.

No pain could be compared to the pain he had caused her.

She grabbed him from his shirt’s collar and forced him to look at her in the eyes for once more. Her disgust had passed every limit from his last words and she wasn’t planning to keep her mouth shut.

She was proud, she had no problem to tell him that he had succeeded something nobody else had. She had made it anyway, she was standing on her feet tall because of his betrayal.

“I couldn’t die again!” she stated through her teeth and he tried to break the eye contact with her but she capped his face with power and stopped him.

“I… I… Am…” he muttered gasping and she tightened her hold to prevent him from continuing.

She had enough, he had to face the reality he was obviously trying to avoid because he was a coward, selfish, heartless bastard that had decided to play with her.

He had broken her heart for good and she couldn’t die again after that day about more than 18 years ago because…

“YOU KILLED ME GABRIEL, FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL!”

*********************

Hello for the second time with the new chapter of the book!

Welcome all and thanks for reading this second, full of emotions chapter.

Things are still quite confusing maybe but this is oing to change soon... And in this chapter we had Becky's pov! Now we know how she feels but we don't know her entire story, in the following chapters we are going to find out almost everything.

I am really curious to know your opinions about this chapter and your thoughts about what is going to happen next so please let me know!

What do you think of Becky? Do you like her? How do you feel about her meeting with Gabriel and what about him? I this Becky is right for treating him like this, right?

What is going to happen next?

Thank you very much from now for everything and I hope you liked the chapter and you will love the story slowly.

Please if you want to help me from now that it is the beginning and you are looking forward for the second chapter commend and let me know your opinion and thoughts, or share the story.

As most of you know I am a quite crazy person, I am excited about this book and I really need opinions, I am always getting crazy with the new stories, I am losing my mind...

I will see you in the next chapter (unless you are reading my other books). Until then stay safe, smile and have fun!

Love you all very, very much,

                                                                 Marie...