Thorns Of The Past.

Introduction.

"Don't take things for granted... Life is full of surprises, you never know what is going to happen even the next second..."

~late in the morning, Bloody Snow Pack~

Gabriel's pov

The car stops and I open my door without waiting for someone to open it for me.

I set my foot on the green glass and get out of the car observing all around me amused.

This place is really breathtaking and very different than I could remember, my friend has been doing a great job with his pack and I am happy I found the opportunity to pay him a visit after so many years.

Evan was like a brother for me and not without a serious reason...

We had lots of things in common at the private college for Alphas, he was two years older than me and we were together only for one year until he had to leave in order to become his pack's Alpha after his father but with him I had the best time of my life, I never forgot him although I cut all the lines about three years later...

I was an i***t, I know but... I couldn't do otherwise, I was feeling ashamed and now I have no idea how I found the strength to call him and tell him I was close to his pack for some business and I wanted to come and see him!

I guess I miss him very much and it came out of me instinctually, I didn't have the courage to call him before but now... I don't know what has gotten into me but I am glad I did it and Evan accepted me, I need to explain to him even if this is going to be humiliating for me.

"Alpha Gabriel, welcome!" one tall man near his 40's says walking to me from the pack house, stops and bows.

He seems to me in a high rank, maybe... Beta? And he is serious yet warm, very professional and friendly at the same time!

"Thank you very much! I am happy to be here!" I reply and give him my hand for a handshake.

Usually I don't like formalities and especially in this pack, it's my friend's and I don't feel like it!

"Evan is sorry for not being here already to greet you in person but the Alpha, the Luna and the Beta are training the pack and he had to take care of something urgent that couldn't wait in the Alpha's place!" he explains as we walk up the five stairs that lead up at the pack house's entrance and I blink my eyes surprised.

"You mean his son is the Alpha now? And he has a Luna already? He is about 19 years old if I remember correctly!" I say really excited and he nods smiling.

"Yes Alpha! That's right, Blaze is the Alpha about four months now. He was ready from earlier but he wanted to have our Luna next to him officially from the first moment and once she turned 18 they took their titles, just like the Beta!" he explains and I raise my eyebrows impressed.

I am sure Evan is very happy about Blaze! Their life wasn't easy because Evan's mate, Stephanie and Luna of the pack died right after Blaze turned one year old from a rogues' attack and Evan was devastated. I had come to her funeral, I still remember how broken he was and sometimes I understand him because...

Anyway...

What matters is that Blaze has his Luna and Evan must be very happy!

"Please Alpha, after you!" he continues opening the door for me and I smile getting in the house to freeze.

Well...

Whoever decorated this house has certainly a great taste!

This house is so simple, yet elegant and royal, it has another air and the light cream, beige, brown and white colors look amazing with the dark brown wooden floor and furniture. The windows are very large and the light is so bright in here, it gives the atmosphere a familiar warmth and we are only before the central living room.

"Isn't it very elegant for our tastes?" I listen to his strong, clear voice from the stairs about twenty meters opposite of me and I sigh nervously with the man giving me a sympathetic smile.

Evan...

And I am getting panicked!

This is the first time I am going to see him after almost 16 years and I don't know how this is going to be. I mean, Evan is a kind man that hates no one but I am not sure about his behavior after the way I disappeared.

"He is not mad at you Alpha... Don't worry!" the man whispers tapping my back and I nod a bit lost.

I take a deep breath with my eyes locked on the stairs and after some torturing seconds he appears.

He is just like before but now he doesn't look so tired like the last time I saw him. His black hair have some white hairs that make him even more charming, his dark blue eyes are shining, he has no bears as he always hated them and he is dressed elegant like always in a black pair of trousers and a white shirt and... He is smiling warmly and he breaks my heart.

He is really not mad at me!

"Welcome back my friend!" he says as he walks to me, passes the living room and opens his arms.

I force a stupid, childish smile really excited and take some steps to him trembling.

I want to scream and tell him how happy and how sorry I am for everything but nothing comes out of my mouth. I open my arms unconsciously as well when I am about one meter away from him and we hug each other tightly.

I close my eyes and sigh relieved trying to calm down now but I can't and his body is really relaxed, he doesn't feel awkward at all!

"I am glad you decided to come... I have missed you!" he whispers tapping my back and I nod pulling back.

"I... I am sorry... For everything! I need to apologize and explain..." I mutter and he smiles nodding.

"Don't worry, I am sure there is a very good reason and I am all ears but why don't we sit? We have some time before the others are done and come to meet you!" he says leading me to the living room and turns to the man behind us.

"Mark, could you please go and inform the kids and Rebecca about Gabriel's arrival? I didn't have time to inform them and they have to come and greet him!" he says and the man nods quickly.

"Of course! They have almost finished training for today and they will be here soon!" he replies and turns to walk out leaving us alone.

Okay, now this is more awkward, we are alone...

His eyes meet mine for one more time and I lose my breath, I feel more than awful because Evan needed me back then, I also needed him but I was too selfish and ashamed to tell him. I had kept from him such a secret and I couldn't find the courage to tell him. Not that now I feel ready but this is my last chance, I can't be away from him anymore...

And he is so kind, it's like nothing has happened for him and I feel even worse.

This is our biggest difference, he was kind and caring but I was a bit... Cold and easy to get angry!

"Don't pass out on me now! I am not a nurse and there is no reason for you to feel bad! Sit... Once the others come I want you to be in the best condition! Look at you, they are going to think that I wanted to kill you!" he says teasingly leaving me speechless and we sit on the big couch together.

I clear my throat and take his hand in mine, lean closer to him and lower my head. My wolf, Greg, encourages me to speak and I gain all my strength.

"I want you to know that it killed me, it still does but I did something and I couldn't face you! You were the best friend I had and I... Lied to you!" I begin and he raises his eyebrows surprised but not angry.

"I want to tell you everything... Really, I can't do this anymore! I need you back in my life and you deserve an explanation!" I continue and he nods slowly.

"I see..." he murmurs and taps my knee sitting more comfortably.

"So tell me to get done with it! I am very curious to know what happened and I am going to repeat myself, don't feel bad! Okay?" he asks and I nod.

"I hided something because I knew you would be against it and I wanted to avoid a fight."

"Is it so serious?" he asks watching my hesitation and wary and I sigh.

"Yes... Well, at the beginning I could have solved everything but... I didn't and then it was too late!" I whisper shortly.

"So?"

"Um... I... You know Michelle, my... Luna!" I tremble and he nods quickly.

"Yes! I remember her, she was pregnant and you called to tell me that she gave birth to your daughter, Hayley! After that you cut all the bridges with me..." he says thoughtfully.

Exactly, he remembers correctly but he knows nothing because everything was a lie and...

I am such an i***t!

"You are right but what if Michelle was not my true mate and I chose her over my true one?" I ask sweating and he opens his eyes widely shocked.

"You... Did... What?" he asks breathless and for the first time so frustrated and I lower my head avoiding eye contact with him.

I was expecting it and he is right, if I was him then I would have killed me already!

And if I tell him the rest then... I have to...

"I knew her from when we are kids... Like Michelle, they were my sister's best friends and one year younger than me... Her name was Becky and I found out that we were mates during the first holidays I had after my first year at the college. When I returned and I saw her I just knew, I was 17 and she had turned 16..." I say shaking even more and feel my eyes getting darker like every time I think of everything.

The pain is never leaving, it is getting worse because I am regretting everything every day and night and my choices are killing me. After so many years I know that I really loved Becky and I wanted only her... Michelle was just...

"And then?" he asks harshly dragging me from my thoughts and I snap my head to him.

"I mated with her, I couldn't stay away from her, you know how it feels like and she... She was always in love with me and she was very happy that we were mates and I also was... But then she had to leave to a camp with my sister and I had to stay back at the pack, I wanted to wait for her but..."

"What?" he asks impatient with a dose of anger and I stiffen.

"I slept with Michelle as well, I thought I had fallen in love with her, she was always the 'prettiest' girl of the pack and I marked her..." I reply and he stands up breathless.

I stiffen more, run my hands through my hair and give him a short, worried look.

He is doing his best to calm down and control his anger but it is clear it is difficult for him and he is right, what I did was shameless and wrong!

"What happened next? You said you thought you were in love with Michelle..." he says through his teeth and turns to look at me in the eyes.

"I am sure Becky felt it... And... She run away while she was still at the camp. My sister and Michelle knew about us but I didn't know about it and..."

"Didn't you try to find her and kill that... f**k GABRIEL!" he says under his breath.

I shake my head defeated and he sits down again sighing heavily. I knew he would react this way...

"I tried to find Becky but she was nowhere to be found and I didn't break up with Michelle because of the pack, I had already introduced her as my Luna and the fact that I wasn't finding Becky... Helped! But things got out of control, I guess I deserved it but Becky didn't and..." I say and pause exhaling heavily.

"I don't understand, what do you mean?" he asks running out of patience.

"Michelle run away right after she gave birth to Hayley. It was almost three years after I had marked her!" I explain and he gasps.

"What on earth? She just left your daughter and run away? Why?"

I bury my face in my hands and sigh. I think I can't say it! It's just too much and I feel horrible, I was such an i***t and now look at me!

"Hayley..." I start and stop leaving my hands fall on my knees.

"Yes?"

"She is not my daughter." I state and close my eyes as some tears appear on my eyes.

This is so... Humiliating and I hate myself for being such a fool!

This is killing me, I know I deserve this punishment for what I did to Becky but raising a daughter that it's not even mine is... A torture!

"Oh my Goddess..." he murmurs shocked and I turn to him embarrassed.

He is already looking at me frozen and his expression is not so helpful for me to understand what he is thinking or feeling. He is generally quite calmer than me, he never loses his composure and this is a problem because you never know what Evan is thinking of for sure.

"Say something... Please!" I whisper with more tears filling my eyes and he shakes his head dizzy.

"The poor girl... How could she... And... Does Hayley know?" he asks gasping and I nod.

"They all do!"

"f**k!" he exclaims and runs his hands through his short hair.

"What did you do Gabriel? And... Oh my Goddess! I can't believe it!" he murmurs shaking his head in desperation.

"And you don't know the worst part..."

"Which is?" he asks with a blank expression and his jaw clenching.

I hold back a cry and my hands turn into fists, the pain is breaking my heart and my wolf howls, he still can't believe it, he doesn't accept it, he wants to have hopes that she...

"Becky is dead, I felt it two years after Hayley's birth!" I say making amends not to scream and he buries his face in his shaking hands.

"Do you understand now? I couldn't face you! I hate myself and I didn't want to disappoint you so much but I couldn't do this anymore, I need you!" I whisper ready to break into sobbing and he jumps up pulling me to do the same.

I have my head bended scared of looking at him in the eyes and I am running out of oxygen. I can't deal with it, I was never strong enough to face the reality I am responsible for without crying. I can't hide my mistakes, I don't want to, not anymore!

Everything is my fault and I wish he could forgive me because I can't forgive myself, I will never and the same thing happens for everyone else. My parents hate me, my sister, my pack, my wolf...

Only... Hayley never hated me although I never cared about her!

My parents are raising her, I held her only for two times in my arms and it was enough for me. I am glad I have my parents or else... Maybe I would have killed her one of the times I was outraged or I would have abandoned her but they...

They really love her and they are probably the only people that don't judge her for what Michelle did! All the pack avoids her, she has no friends, she barely talks, she is locked in her room all the time and I could help her, approach her but...

I know I am wrong and she is not to take the blame for what she did but... I can't love her either.

"Gabriel..." Evan says calmly not frustrated anymore and I shake my head in agony still looking at the floor.

"I am glad you told me even if... I... You should have told me from the beginning! What is done is done, you know better than me that you were wrong from the first moment you betrayed your mate and I wouldn't like to talk about it more. You are in pain as I see, you have regretted, I have nothing to say because I don't want to say too bad and offensive things. Let's just put an end to the past and... Continue our friendship!" he says simply and I look up to him unable to believe it.

"Really? You mean that you still want me as your friend?" I ask and he nods in sympathy.

"I can't judge you and I am sure I don't need to! You are judging yourself and it's enough! You told me everything, I understand why you disappeared like that, thank you for telling me now!" he replies and before I react he pulls me in his arms and taps my back some times.

I exhale quite relieved not very fast to believe that I have him back in my life but a weight leaves from my shoulders and gradually I stop crying and calm down.

See? This is what I meant when I said that he is kind!

He is different and I am lucky!

"Come, sit and relax! Forget about it, I don't want the others to feel awkward! It's the first time you are going to meet my family and I want it to be pleasing for everyone but... I would like to meet Hayley one day!" he says as we sit again and I nod timidly.

I wipe my tears, he fixes his shirt and I clear my throat. He is right and I want to make a good impression to them, his family is important to him and this is enough for me to want the best relationships with them as well.

I put again my professional mask and smile quite nervously.

"How about you? Mark is your..."

"He was my Beta! He doesn't have kids and his mate with him are two of my best friends, her name is Megan and she was always helping with the companies I have." He cuts me off and I nod pleased.

"And he told me that your son is the Alpha, he has a Luna and you have a new Beta as well!" I say next and he smiles brightly.

"You know... Things have changed for me, Blaze and the pack very much the last 12 years! I don't have only one son anymore, I have two and one daughter!"

"Oh... New Luna? I think you said Rebecca before! Is she your mate?" I ask excited and he laughs.

"No, she is not my mate, you can call her the sister I never had and she came here about 12 years ago with her kids, they are twins, Ryker and Claire! Their arrival was catalytic not only for me but for Blaze and the pack as well! Rebecca is a very strong woman and I loved her from the first time I saw her, she helped me a lot with the pack, she became unofficially the Luna and she also saved me with Blaze... He has her like a mother and her kids became something like the brother and sister he didn't have! He is only one year older than them and there is no difference if you see them! About three years ago we found out that Claire is Blaze's mate and now we are even better! Claire is amazing just like her mother and Ryker became our Beta, he is a fantastic young man and most of the times I think that he must be my son because I have more things in common with him than with Blaze!" he explains and laughs in the end with me joining him.

"This is great, really! You deserved the best, not to mention Blaze! Rebecca seems that have saved you!" I tease him and he signs in agreement.

"Yes, she did save me because I had lost both of my parents that period, I had no help with Blaze, he had serious anger problems, he wasn't talking that much, he was distant and no matter how much I, Mark, Megan and Kira, his best friend had been trying to make him open up he was ignoring us. But Rebecca had her own way to win his heart and Ryker helped a lot! You know... These two are doing everything together from the first day they met! And Claire was running behind them with Kira, the boys loved to take care of them, it was like their duty and Rebecca had time to help me with the pack and after two years with the companies! She is my biggest supporter, really!"

"She sounds to be a remarkable woman! And where is her mate?" I ask him curious and he shakes his head sadly.

"She run away when she found out she was pregnant... Long story!"

"Oh, that's bad... From which pack is she from?"

"From an Italian..." he says but his phone rings and he rolls his eyes annoyed.

He gives me an apologetic smile, answers his call placing the phone next his ear, clears his throat and I wait patiently looking around me the beautiful living room.

Surely this Rebecca has to do with it and I already like her, especially after what Evan told me! I am glad he found someone to support him even if they are not mates.

"Are you kidding me? Why didn't you send it with the others?" Evan asks frustrated and looks at me like he is asking for my help and I smirk.

"Well, you know how crazy my son and daughter can be when it comes to training! They are going to be here soon, can't you just wait for them to sign them?" he asks after a while.

"If Rebecca is sure, I am sure as well and the same goes for Blaze and Claire!" he replies next and the other person tells him something and he closes his eyes groaning.

"FINE! I am going now but this is the last thing you are asking from me! When you want something like this then send it with the others from the beginning!"

I do my best to prevent myself from laughing with his funny, desperate expression and he rolls his eyes again. I am sure he had been very patient before and he is right for being annoyed now. He always hated paperwork from what I can remember.

"Yes, I am going to my office right now, alright!" he says in the end and hangs up turning to me with exhaustion.

"I am sorry Gabriel but I have to go upstairs for five minutes! I will be right back and you can do anything you want until then. Stay here, go out for a walk, there is no problem at all!" he says and I nod in understanding.

"Don't worry! I will be waiting here! You have lots of books at that library anyway... And photos for me to see and tease you later!" I reply playfully pointing the massive library on my left that is more like a wall and he stands up laughing.

"Fair enough! If the others come before me, don't get panicked or feel awkward! They are nice and Blaze remembers you! He will be very happy!" he says as he walks to the stairs.

"Alright, don't think about it! I will be fine!" I say rolling my eyes and giggle with his wary.

I observe him walking up the stairs and after some seconds he is gone and I stay alone. The pack house is quite silent although there are omegas, I take their scents and also the pack is full of life! I listen to their voices and laughters and I smile at myself melancholically.

My pack is not like this, it has lost its joy and this is my fault.

I stand up and walk to the library quite interested in the books because reading is the only way for me to stop thinking when I am not working. I am sure I will find something useful and I am going to get stuck with it but anyway.

I stop right in the middle of the library and I look at the shelves one time quickly. I am about to take one big, black leather book from one shelve right in front of me but a photo on my left catches my attention and I take one step closer blinking my eyes.

It's a photo of... Blaze... I guess it's him and it is very recent because he looks like Evan but he is not alone, next to him is a young woman, she has to be Claire but...

I open my eyes widely, my heartbeat gets so strong and fast that it hurts me, I feel my skin shivering, I stop breathing and my wolf get crazy when my gaze falls on her face...

NO!

It can't be... NO!

This dark blonde long hair, these beautiful full of love expressive eyes, the pale, smooth shining skin, the soft, pink full lips, the breathtaking smile.

This is the woman I have been dreaming about all these years, the one I am dying for, the one I always wanted and is necessary for me, the one that was born to be with me and...

The woman I killed, I betrayed and made run away...

The woman I thought of being...

Dead!

But I am sure about what I see, I am not imagining this...

This is reality!

And this also means that she is here...

And then it hits me... Rebecca... Evan said about one Rebecca and...

There is one more photo next to this one... She has shorter hair but she is still beautiful and elegant dressed, her eyes are shinning, her smile is stealing my broken heart like every time, she looks so powerful and confident, so sure and happy. She has to be in an office and her body... It's more beautiful than before with more curves and the way she is standing...

She is... Here, alive!

She is my...

"BECKY!"

*********************

Hello for the very first chapter of the new book!

Welcome all and thanks for reading this first, straight into the deep chapter.

This is very introduction but from the next chapter get ready... And it had to do with the basic things but very important because you know most of what happened... It was Gabriel's pov and you know what he did...

I am really curious to know your opinions about this very first chapter and your thoughts about what is going to happen next so please let me know!

What do you think of Gabriel and what he did (feel free to express yourself however you want, what he did was really bad)? What do you think of Evan? How do you feel about the few things you know for Hayley? And what about this Rebecca-Becky? 

What is going to happen next?

Thank you very much from now for everything and I hope you liked the chapter and you will love the story slowly.

Please if you want to help me from now that it is the beginning and you are looking forward for the second chapter commend and let me know your opinion and thoughts, or share the story.

As most of you know I am a quite crazy person, I am excited about this book and I really need opinions, I am always getting craqzy with the new stories, I am losing my mind...

I will see you in the next chapter (unless you are reading my other books). Until then stay safe, smile and have fun!

Love you all very, very much,

                                                               Marie...