Falling For The Alpha

Chapter 4

"He is a jerk," I said when Blair placed a mug of steaming chamomile tea in front of me. I muttered thanks and began to stir the tea absentmindedly while my mind reeled on how unfortunate is my fate. 

After Alpha Xander left me in the woods, I phased into my wolf and let her take over for once. She was in agony. She didn't expect her mate to leave her like that. 

I blocked everyone from mind linking me as I ran in my wolf form through the silent woods, my paws barely touching the ground as I leaped forward without having any destination in my mind. I ran until I was tired and I couldn't continue anymore. 

Eventually, I found myself going to the person that had always helped me when I needed motivation. Luna Hazel. Blair was with her as well so I told them what had happened in the woods, trying not to bawl my eyes out in front of them. 

Blair sighed and took a seat next to me after putting a mug in front of Luna Hazel as well, "Ugh, I can't believe that you're mated to him" Blair hissed in distaste, "If the universe decided to play some f*****g game then this is it" She crossed her hands against her chest and exhaled sharply. 

Yes, it is. I never imagined even in my worst nightmares that I would have to go through something like this in my life.

I lifted the mug from the table and took a sip of tea. We were now at the pantry in Alpha's house. Luna Hazel was sitting directly on my opposite side as she loyally listened to everything that I had said without interrupting. 

"I don't know what to do" I shook my head and put the mug down on the table, "No matter how much I tried not to think of him, I end up thinking about him" I admitted. 

How he had smirked at me before leaving me. How he had taken me for granted. 

"It's the mate pull," Luna Hazel said, nodding her head to herself, "Strongest thing on earth" She added under her breath. 

I couldn't help but compare myself with Luna Hazel. She is a human and she is mated to a kind Alpha like Alpha Lucas and I had to suffer from Alpha Xander, "You're lucky that you have someone like Alpha Lucas" I found myself saying before I could think through those words, "Alpha Xander is the worst" I spat, ignoring my wolf's protest. 

Luna Hazel and Blair exchanged a meaningful glance before a cryptic smile started to grace Luna Hazel's lips, "Irina, you shouldn't compare your situation with mine" She shook her head while playfully glaring at me "We are not the same. We didn't go through the same hurdles" She said, reminded me. 

Yes, we are different in many aspects "But still, your mate is so supportive of you" I voiced out my disappointment, my eyes starting to well up with tears. 

I was emotionally unstable now. 

Luna Hazel extended her hand from across the table and put it over my hands before giving my hand a comforting squeeze, "I didn't always let him support me" She said, her voice barely above a whisper. 

A pained expression crossed Luna Hazel's face for a split second before she masked it with her beautiful smile. 

"I don't understand," I said, my eyes never leaving hers. What she was implying actually?

Luna Hazel took a deep breath and looked down at her mug of tea. She sighed and took a sip of it before looking up at me again, "If you think you have the worst mate ever, then I think Lucas has the worst mate ever too" She said, she was still smiling but the smile doesn't look lively as it always does. 

I couldn't understand what she said. How would Alpha Lucas have the worst mate ever when he has her by his side? "But he has you" I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion. 

Luna Hazel flashed another painful smile at me, "Okay" She said, patting my hand lightly, "I never told anyone about this except for Lucas but I think I should tell you this" She continued, her eyes flickered towards Blair who was watching our luna in equal confusion. 

Luna Hazel took a deep breath, "I was in love with someone else before I met Lucas" She said everything in one breath. My eyes widened with this new information and my jaw slacked down, "His name was Enzo" She added with a faraway look on her face. 

"Was?" Blair probed. 

Luna Hazel nodded her head, "He died before I came to Dawson City" She said, blinking back her tears. 

"I am sorry-" 

She shook her head at me, successfully shutting me up, "Lucas tried everything to win my heart but I kept pushing him away" She continued without letting me finish my apology, "I was too drowned in grief to let myself learn to love again" She added, still with a faraway look on her face as if she was reminiscing those days. 

I waited quietly for her to continue, "But he never gave up on me" She smiled after a few seconds of pin-drop silence, "He was there to love me when I didn't love myself" She wiped the corners of her eyes before those tears could roll down on her cheeks. 

I never knew Luna Hazel went through something horrible like this. She always has a smile on her face so one would always think that she never experienced any hardship in her life. 

She focused her eyes back on me, "I am not saying that you should go through that painful thing but what if there's a little good in your mate left and maybe you can make him a better person?" She asked me, "What if he needs help from himself?" She squeezed my hand once again. 

I thought about what she had said for a second. What she said could be true but again, "I don't know if I can-" 

"Are you going to quit without trying?" Luna Hazel interrupted me abruptly. 

I bit my lip, not knowing how to answer that. Am I a quitter? Definitely not. But am I strong enough to accept Alpha Xander as my mate? I definitely don't have an answer for that. 

I felt a pressure on the back of my mind and quickly recognized it. Someone was trying to mind link me and I let them come through. 

'Come home', It was Nate. 

I glanced at the clock that hung on the wall and realized a few hours has passed since I came here. "Um, I think I have to go now" I finally said, not answering the question that Luna Hazel had asked me. 

"Alright honey" Luna Hazel nodded her head, dropping the matter. 

I pushed the chair back a little before standing up. Luna Hazel and Blair looked up at me, smiling. I went to Luna Hazel's side and bent down to hug her, "Thank you, Luna" I said, pressing my face onto her shoulders gently. 

I heard her soft chuckle, "Anytime" She said patting my back. Then I went to Blair to give her a hug as well before leaving Alpha Lucas's house. 

As I made my way to my home, I kept rethinking what Luna Hazel had said. What if there is some good left in Alpha Xander and I didn't try to make him a better man? He is my mate after all. I wouldn't be happy with someone else if it isn't my mate. Can I be at peace knowing that I never tried to change for good?

Was I strong enough to stay away from him and suffer in silence or am I strong enough to stay with him and die every day with the way he treats me? 

I reached my house in a record of the time and for the very first time ever, I stepped into my house with an unattractive frown on my face. 

"I am home," I said, knowing full well they heard me the moment I twisted the doorknob to come in. I looked down at the floor as I walked into the house, heading towards my room so I can finally curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep. 

"Hey" 

I looked up to see my brother standing the with a soft smile on his lips. I knew that behind that smile there is some tremendous pain that he was hiding. He never liked it when I get sad.

I swallowed the lump in my throat painfully as I gazed at him. A sob left from my throat as I released all the bottled feelings that I had felt since the moment I met my mate. Feeling ashamed, I covered my face with both of my hands and started to cry into it wretchedly. 

"Noo.." I heard my brother say and a second later, I felt his hands going around my body, "Come here" He said, hugging me tightly. 

I buried my face against his chest and wept like a baby. Nate ran his hands up and down my back comfortingly, letting me cry without asking anything. 

And that's exactly what I needed. 

My brother started to guide me towards my room as my hiccups gradually get less hysterical. I sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of my hands. 

"s**t, I forgot to clean up my room" I blurted out, remembering the state that I have left my room earlier when my father asked me to tag along with him. 

My brother pushed the door of my room and sucked in a deep breath when he stepped inside of the room, 

"You would have been in very big trouble but since today has already been shitty enough, I will help you clean this up," He said making me laugh out loud momentarily forgot about my problems. 

I hugged my brother again, "Thanks Nate, I don't know what I will ever do without you" I said into his chest. 

Nate gently pushed me away and cupped my cheeks. His thumb wiped away the traces of my tears and he bent down to my eye level, "You're my little sister and I would do anything to make you happy" He said before he grabbed my hand and stepped further into the room. 

We cleaned everything that I had thrown on the bed and on the floor. Nate helped me to fold them neatly and stacked them up on the bed, "Alright let's pack up for London" He said when we cleared everything up. 

Yeah, that's the last thing I want on earth. 

I shook my head at him, "I don't know if I have the mood to go on a holiday now" I said, plopping on the bed. 

"Nonsense" Nate growled as he sat down next to me, "We're going to London and conquer London for three days," He said, his voice had finality in it. 

Before I could say anything there was a knock on the door. Both I and Nate snapped our head up and looked at the door as it opened with a creak. My mother popped in her face, "Can we come in too?" She asked and above her, my father peeked into my room. 

"Mom, Dad," I said with a smile on my face and nodded my head for them to come in. 

My mother stepped into the room, "Your father told me everything that had happened" She said looking at me with a sympathetic expression. 

The smile on my faltered, "Yeah, it's pathetic right?" I asked, bowing my head in shame. 

How pathetic it is when your own mate is not interested in you? 

From the corner of my eyes, I saw my parents exchange worried glances before my father sighed, "Tell you what? We're not going to talk about this until we get back from London" My father said. 

"Yeah, we can worry about that later" My mother butted in. 

I shook my head at them, "I don't think so if I want to go to London with you guys-" 

My father didn't let me finish my sentence, "Yeah, let's pack for London" He said excitedly. My mother nodded her head and then reached towards the stack of clothes that had been folded neatly by Nate. 

"Dad-" 

"We are going to London whether you like it or not young lady" My father interrupted me again, flashing me a look. 

I bit my lip and then let out a defeated sigh, "Okay, fine" I reluctantly agreed.

The three of them cheered happily and started to throw everything that I will need into my trolley bag as I watched them with a smile on my face. 

I may not have the greatest mate but I do have the sweetest family and I am grateful for that.