Pleasure & Confusion

CHAPTER 12

Six long weeks since that fateful night.

To my dismay, I am still alive.

I haven't seen Dean nor Holden since I gave them the soul destroying news.

I go to work, do my job, return home and huddle up on the sofa until I fall into abyss.

Sleep is my only friend. It blocks out the pain.

Why can't the wolf spirits let me die?

Today, it's just another boring day. I arrive at work to start dealing with meetings and clients, making calls and typing up letters like always.

I sip on a strong black coffee while typing an email reply, when my stomach churns.

Eurgh!

I leap up from my seat, sprinting full pelt to the ladies bathroom, throwing myself at the toilet. I vomit violently, so bad that my eyes stream with pain.

That's how the rest of the day continues; working and throwing up.

I have no idea what's going on.

Wolves don't get sick!

We have an unusually high immune system, so no human bugs or viruses effect us.

What could it be?

Hmm...

Mr Fray sends me home after the fourth time I rush to the bathroom.

He says I should take the rest of the week off--only two days--to recover from whatever illness I have.

So here I am, snuggled up on the sofa with my duvet. The television blares out mindless junk.

Boring!

I haven't been able to keep any food down and it feels vile.

My stomach is empty, but it continued to churn with nausea.

A knock at my door forces me off the sofa, the duvet still huddled around me as I feel freezing.

I slowly wander out to the front door.

I open it to see a guy--he must be in his mid twenties--and by his scent, he was a rogue wolf!

Shit.

"Oh, hello dear Liz! God I missed you girl! Wow you don't look so good!" The guy says in a friendly way, a sweet smile on his face.

I take in his features, feeling a familiar pull to him.

Then it hits me. "Soul!?" I gasp.

He grins, nodding. "You remember me!" He exclaims.

Soul was a childhood friend from school. He was the only guy I didn't sleep with at school.

He was lovely, caring, supportive and he didn't judge me.

I squeak, drop the duvet and slam myself into his arms, wrapping mine around his neck, squeezing him hard. "Oh Soul! You've turned up at the best time, but why the heck do you smell like a rogue?" I breathe him in.

Soul chuckles humourlessly. "I was kicked out of my pack up north. I've been rogue for 8 months."

I am shocked! Why the hell was a guy like this a rogue?

"Oh Soul! Come in! Come in!" I grin, yanking his hand.

"So... Miss Knight! Who knocked you up? Was it your mate?"

My eyes widen. "What?"

"You're err... s**t, you don't know! I could smell it the second you opened the door!" Soul gasps, his hand over his mouth. "I'm pregnant?" I whisper, beyond shocked.

Soul just nods innocently.

Once we reach the living room, I slump down on the sofa. "Holy mother!"

Soul laughs. "So, tell me all about it! I wanna hear what's been going on."

I take a deep breath, and start to fill him in.

~*~

"Holy s**t! So two mates and one of them is the father!? I can't believe you've turned into a hussy! Oh Lizzie!"

I smirk at Soul. "I wasn't a hussy? I thought I always was!"

He grins at me cheekily. "Well, you weren't that bad. You only had one guy on the go at once."

I sigh, and shake my head rapidly, trying to force my smutty past out of my head.

"So, Miss Knight. There was a reason why I came... umm..." Soul mumbles nervously.

"What is it?" I ask softly, stroking his hand, hoping to be encouraging.

Capturing my hand in his, Soul turns his entire body towards me and stares into my eyes. "I love you Lizzie. I always have. I want to be with you and I will do anything to have you in my arms."

My jaw drops, I can't believe Soul is declaring his love for me after all I've told him. After finding out I was pregnant! After hearing about my mate problem.

I can't say I wasn't happy about it. I've always had feelings for Soul. He was the only guy I hadn't slept with. I knew I loved him and I couldn't lose him. I knew s*x would ruin us.

"Soul... you're willing to take me on with all this..." I point to my belly. "...baggage?"

Soul looks at me sympathetically. "That just makes me love you even more!"

My heart pounds against my chest, and my head swims.

'Let him in!' My wolf begs. 'If our mates don't want us, we still deserve to be happy!'

I smile at my wolf's words, and look up into the jade green eyes that belong to Soul Valentine.

"Yes!" I whisper, "I've always loved you Soul. Despite my pain because of my bastard mates, I want you."

In a shockingly quick move, Soul wraps his arms around me, pulls me up and spins me around the living room.

I giggle loudly, and hug him back.

Once I'm safely back on my feet, both of us breathless, Soul's eyes darken and he slides one of his hands down to my hip. The other cups my face, gently stroking my cheek, before moving in. "I've been wanting to do this since I was 13..." He murmurs before planting his lips on mine.

I have to say, it really isn't like kissing Dean or Holden, but it's still intense. His kiss is filled with love, passion and need.

I melt into his body, feeling cherished and relaxed.

Soul's tongue eases into my mouth, allowing his warm manly flavour spark at my taste buds.

My arms snake up, and I grip onto his shoulders, squeezing at his toned muscles, a moan leaving my lips.

That night all we do is kiss. I have told Soul that I want to take things slow due to our friendship and my current situation.

So I'm pregnant?

Is it Dean's or Holden's baby?

Should I tell them?

Do they have the right to know after walking out?

Why didn't my depo injection work?

I better see my doctor as soon as possible!

I will call them first thing in the morning.

I'm going to have to tell work too.

All these thoughts cloud my head as I drift off to sleep in Soul's arms.

~*~

"Don't worry, dear. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with your baby. The depo doesn't always work on wolves. It goes from 97% to 88% effective with our metabolism, healing rates and high immune systems, as well as our raised temperatures."

"Also, due to your shifter genes, your pregnancy will be 6 months rather than 9. You can't shift until after having the baby or you could endanger the baby's life." My pack doctor--Dr Jules--informs me of all the stuff I need to know.

"So, when is my baby due?" I ask, smiling.

I was having a baby!

"Errrr... let's see." Dr Jules murmurs, looking at her pregnancy calendar. "Ahh yes... oh wow! It's going to be a Christmas baby!"

My eyes widen. "What? Christmas Day?" I ask.

Dr Jules nods with a smile. "25th of December."

"Wow!" I breathe, then smile.

Eeek!

So I'll be having a Christmas Day baby, and a wonderful supportive boyfriend who is going to help and be by my side throughout the entire thing.

I may not have my rightful mates, but I'm not going to sit here and wallow anymore!

I've done it for too long and Soul has shown me how strong I actually am.

I can do this, and I will!

Now I know everything is ok with my pregnancy, I can take our relationship to the next level.

We have been dating a month, and I am dated at 12 weeks pregnant.

I am so excited to go home and tell Soul how it went!

Lets go!!