Professor Poison

Chapter 5

One who sat at the front of the class inside Room 213 was a total butt-sniffer in my opinion, or so I thought during my days in high school. And one who sat in the last row, near the back wall, was oblivious to why he or she was in a classroom, perhaps unwilling to learn. I settled in the middle, among a few young women and men in Professor Hatchford Daily’s classroom. Those around me looked most studious in glasses, books on their desks, and cell phones turned on and ready to take notes. Unknown to me, students didn’t use notebooks, pens, or pencils these days. Electronics, mostly cell phones, and apps were the key to helpful learning and taking notes. Perhaps I was being gawked at when I fingered a pen and spiral notebook in front of me on the desk. Eyes shifted in my direction, and the younger crowd judged me, all of them looking sad for me. I could hear them in my mind saying: He’s too old for this…He’ll never pass this class…He’ll drop out before the third week…He can’t be real…What a joke.

There were fifteen students in the room, all twenty-one-year-old and younger, minus me, of course. More women than men filled the seats, no surprise. A set of male twins sat near the three windows that overlooked the small and vine-covered courtyard. The pair sported perfectly trim jaws, wavy blond hair, and elf-like noses that were turned upwards. I learned their names from the nerdy girl with pimples on her nose who sat next to me when she called out to the twins, “Ethan…Evan…Do either of you have a portable battery pack. My phone’s dying.”

Evan replied, “Ethan has one.”

“Can I borrow it, Ethan?” Nerdy Girl asked across the room.

Tall, thin, and with very little color to his skin, a pale hue that looked more white than peach, Ethan stood with the small and cobalt blue battery pack in his right hand. His six-four skeletal frame jaggedly walked the device over to Nerdy Girl, and he handed it to her. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, bud. I’ll give it back after class.”

“No problem, Amber.”

Ethan found his seat again and quiet came over the classroom.

I studied the room: whiteboard on the front wall, positioned behind a narrow desk; American flag in the upper right-hand corner; three long and thin windows open, allowing the summer evening heat inside; twenty-five chairs with attached desks that were meant to be for Snow White’s dwarves; white-tile floor that needed a fresh waxing; round and plastic clock hanging over the entrance to the door.

At approximately five-fifty-five Professor Hatchford Daily (A.K.A. E.L. Poison) entered the classroom. Again, having seen him twice before, he had immediately struck me as handsome because of his languid strut, bar-like shoulders, and ginger curls that half-concealed his fern green eyes. I essentially eye-devoured him because I had always had a thing for redheads. Tight chinos covered the man’s bottom and protruding, frontal junk between his legs. A white, long-sleeved dress shirt (Brooks Brothers, I assumed) clung to his toned torso. Its sleeves were rolled up to his elbows; a total turn-on for me since the veins on the back of his freckled arms were visible; proof that he wasn’t shy of working out at least four times a week. Two buttons near the handsome man’s throat were undone, and I studied the sprigs of ginger hair on his chest. I could make out that his pecs beneath the cotton shirt were plump, and his stomach looked fatless, perhaps designed by rippled abs and many crunches, which I couldn’t determine at the time.

Hatch, as we were instructed to call him, or Daily, whichever we were individually comfortable with, placed his camel-colored, leather satchel on the empty teacher’s desk. Following the quick action, he moved in front of the desk, taking center stage. He leaned his tight buttocks against the edge of the desk’s amber-colored wood, half sat and half stood in place, and crossed one foot over the other, perfectly balanced.

He scanned familiar faces. “Hello, Ethan, Evan, and Amber. And good evening to you, Miss Becca Snell and Miss Christine Appleton. A pleasure to see you all again. You’re all fine students, and I look forward to the next six weeks with you.”

Poised like a supermodel for GQ, he steered his view directly at me and consumed me for the first time, drawing an interest in my no longer boyish looking face. He politely smiled, c****d his head a little to the left, then a little to the right, and studied me as if I were a rare art piece. “According to my admission roll, you must be Mr. Niall Reed. Correct?”

“Corr…ect,” I replied, sounding nervous, unable to control my wavering tone.

Like so many other men in my life who maybe found me delectable, he winked at me. I wasn’t sure if he was flirting with me or not, but it certainly did feel like it. “So glad you could join us during the next six weeks. I’m sure you’ll have a pleasant escapade here with the rest of us. May I call you Niall?”

“Of course,” I told him.

* * * *

We went around the room, one by one, and told something relevant about our lives:

Ethan Boss: “I almost drowned in the Pacific last year, just off the coast of Bondi, Australia.”

Evan Boss: “I saved my twin brother from drowning last year.”

Laughs were shared regarding the light humor.

Becca Snell: “I have a third n****e. I never show it off.”

More laughter.

Christine Appleton: “I’m allergic to peanuts. So don’t bring them into this classroom.”

Steven Windrow: “I have seven dogs. None of them are rabid.”

Penny Cansoon: “I should be in Liverpool right now with my boyfriend. He’s abandoned me.”

Amber English, otherwise known as Nerdy Girl: “I’ve always wanted to sleep with twin brothers.” She looked at Ethan and Evan Boss.

Awkward silence. Then chortles. Even from the twins.

“Niall. Tell us something about you,” Hatch directed me.

Many things came to mind: I was too old to be a student; I never really liked to drive; autumn was my favorite season; I couldn’t remember my last boyfriend’s name. I kept all of those things to myself, though. Instead, I replied with something most shocking: “Sometimes I want to kill my mother…on paper, of course.”

Mouths hung open. Smiles were presented by those around me. And Hatch, perhaps enjoying my statement the most, said directly to me, “We’re going to have a very interesting six weeks together. Let the show begin.”