Fight or Flight

Chapter 2 – All change

Leah’s POV

My exams for the year were over, and I had finished my first year of college. Sky had taken me on to work in the Rec centre during the holidays, as usual, and I had started work Monday, doing my usual shifts.

Kai was busy at work and the week soon became the weekend. I had spent a quiet Friday night and Saturday with Kai. After the chaos of last weekend and his 21st birthday celebrations, we agreed to just chill.

Sunday was my day with the girls, and I made my way to Lis’s. She had not long moved into the cottage her dad had renovated for her that was at the edge of the farm.

It was a charming little place, built in limestone with a slate roof. It had a small front garden, a cobbled path led to a few steps to the front door, and as you walked in, unlike a traditional cottage, downstairs was open planned.

The kitchen was to the left and decked out with traditional rustic cottage style cupboards and there was enough room for a small table and chairs. To the other side, an open lounge with sofa, chair, bookshelf and tv unit.

Patio doors led out to the rear garden decking area and small hedged lawn overlooking the rolling hills and countryside. It was peaceful and idyllic.

An open wooden staircase to the right led to the upstairs where there were two decent sized bedrooms and a family bathroom. It wasn’t big, but it didn’t need to be. It was perfect for Lis, and she loved it. Sky and I were helping her unpack the last of her things.

I had a dilemma, and I needed to talk to my girls about it. I needed advice.

But I wasn’t ready to drop the bomb for my opening statement.

‘Is your dad coping with his newfound freedom and lack of house maid?’ I joked.

Lisa had done everything for her dad since her mum passed away 8 years ago, her moving out was going to be a bit of a shock for him.

‘The cooking lessons helped, but I stocked up his freezer with premade home cooked meals!’ she chuckled ‘He has learnt successfully how to do the washing and has hired a lady to help clean twice a week’.

‘Wow, go Henry!’ Sky sounded impressed.

‘I think he is sweet on the cleaner! He makes her lunch when she comes, and she stays longer than she should’

‘Sounds like she is sweet on him too! How do you feel about that?’ I asked

‘It’s about bloody time he moved on! Don’t get me wrong, no one will replace mum, but it’s been almost 8 frickin years! He deserves a bit of company and happiness’

‘Oooooh do we need to do some match making?’ I got a little too excited at the prospect of setting up Lis’s dad and the cleaner.

Lis chuckled ‘I think we should probably let them figure it for themselves. But if he doesn’t make a move in a few weeks, we can give him a nudge in the right direction’

‘Exciting! Keep us posted’ Sky chipped in.

‘What about you Sky, we have heard no more about your mystery crush. Is she gay?’

The last we heard; she wasn’t sure.

‘Yeah, actually. But it’s complicated’ she changed the subject ‘So, how was last night?’ she asked Lis. I would get back to Skylar later, I wasn’t done with that conversation.

Lis had been on another date after we had set her up on a gay dating site. We had helped her vet the potentials and was dying to know how it went.

We were hopeful that this date had gone better than the last two. I seriously don’t understand why people lie on those things, surely, they realise you will figure it out when you meet them! Why waste everyone’s time?

I was glad I didn’t have to go through it, but for Lis, it really was the only way she could meet like minded women, she wasn’t as gregarious as Sky and didn’t go out much due to her responsibilities at the farm and the new holiday let venture.

‘Okay actually, I’m meeting her again mid-week!’

Sky smiled and carried on unpacking her box ‘That’s great Lis’ she enthused, but somehow her enthusiasm didn’t quite reach her eyes, if you blinked, you would have missed it.

‘I know, I’m quite excited. Only…’

‘Only what? Come on Lis, you can talk to us’ I tried to reassure her.

She still was finding all this quite difficult. She hadn’t had any confidents or close friends for a long time, and never discussed her personal life with others before.

Sky and I were pros at girl gossip. But we only ever trusted each other, before Lis came along.

‘Well, at some point I am going to have to tell my family I am gay. I’m not sure they are ready for it’

‘We can be with you, if you want, I’m sure they will just want you to be happy, and if they aren’t then screw them. But seriously, you don’t have to do any anything yet, if you don’t want too, it’s early days’ Sky reasoned.

‘You don’t talk about your family ever. Do they know you are gay?’

‘I don’t have a family anymore; it’s why I don’t talk about them. Maria is my family, and she knew early on. She was cool about it. You would be surprised, most people are more open minded than you think, but they just haven’t needed to be open about it, maybe we could change that between us.’ Sky laughed.

I knew at this point Sky would want the subject changed, she wouldn’t be ready for Lis to know her past.

‘I have something I need to talk to you about’.

‘Sounds serious, everything ok?’ Lis stopped unpacking the box she had started on and turned to look at me.

‘Yeah, It’s just my college teacher spoke to me a couple of weeks ago and asked me to think about applying for this’ I took out the wrinkled leaflet from my back pocket and handed it to them.

‘An art summer camp, this is for this summer?’

‘Yeah, he said it would be really good for job applications and I would learn loads. It’s for 6 weeks though…. And in Crete’.

‘Wow, it sounds amazing!’ Lis gushed.

‘I’ve never been on a plane before, never mind abroad; mum has always hated flying. 6 weeks is a long time to be away from home, I’m just not sure if I want to do it. But, well, it would be amazing, wouldn’t it?’

‘Uh, Duh! Yes! You would be fine, you’d soon settle in, we have facetime, skype, and zoom you know, it’s not like you would be going into the abyss’ Lis joked ‘tell us more about it’.

‘I would live there with the other successful candidates. I think there is room for 8 of us, it’s offered all over the world, so places are sought after. It is actually open to anyone willing to pay for the course, accommodation and board, but successful candidates in the scheme only have to pay for flights and spends. Because we would spend 4 days learning, 2 days working to earn our keep, and one day off a week’.

‘What is not to love about that?’

‘You’re worried about Kai?’ Sky knew me too well.

‘It’s 6 weeks! So yeah, I am a little anxious. Plus, I already said I would work for you over the summer. And we all had plans.’

‘Leah, Firstly, I have time to find a replacement, but Liam would happily take on more hours. Skylar’s is not going to be a reason you don’t do this. Secondly, Our summer plans can be put on hold, it would have been fun, but I still got Lis, and I do have to work, so does she. Neither of us are going to be a holding you back!’ Lis nodded in agreement and they both took my hand.  

‘As for Kai, 6 weeks will go by in a flash. You can’t let this opportunity go by; you would resent him for it. It’s really not that long in the great scheme of things. If he is the reason, you don’t do this, he is a fool and so are you! But I know Kai, he may be a little upset you are going, because he will miss you, but he would most definitely want you to do this, and he will support you. You need to talk to him’.

‘Yeah, I know, I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else. I may not even get a place’.

‘Oh, I’ve seen your work. You are definitely getting a place. What work do you have to do to earn you keep? What else do you know about it? Details please!’

I laughed at Sky’s excitement, she seemed as excited about this as I was ‘It’s a Mannor house in the hills just outside of a beach resort. We would be staying in a basic converted barn, just off site. They provide accommodation, and 2 meals a day. The owners are Artists and teach over the summer. They have 12 spaces for paying guests and 8 ‘free’ places for the programme. They each have ten students, but we get three weeks with each of them’.

It was hard not to sound enthusiastic as I filled them in ‘They let out the 12 rooms in the manor house over the 6 weeks to the paying students, it’s part of the price of the course. They also have olive groves, and vineyards, the produce of which they sell to local merchants. You are allocated your ‘job’ on arrival. 3 different jobs are available. Picking or packing, either the olives or grapes, or cleaning/maid service for the manor. It’s quite savvy really, we get to do art, they get to teach, and their businesses get to run with no additional outlay. So, for the them and us, it’s a Win Win situation, we all get something from it’.

The more I talked about it, the more I began to get excited about the prospect of being involved.

‘You have obviously done your research. You clearly want to do it. There is no way you can pass this up! When do you have to apply by? What’s the process?’ Lis probed.

‘Ummm…. Actually, I already applied last week; My tutor helped me with my application. I wasn’t going to do it. But last Friday was the closing date, and he said I would regret it if I didn’t try, so I just did it. I find out some time in the next week. I was just too scared to say anything until now, but reality has hit and if I do get it, I would feel awful if I hadn’t pre warned everyone, especially Kai, I just don’t know how to tell him’.

‘Leah, you’ll figure it out. But do it soon. You’re right, if he knows you applied and didn’t talk to him about it, he would probably, and understandably, be upset’.

Sky was right. I needed to go and see Kai.

I said my goodbyes to the girls and left them too it, I headed straight to Kai’s. The anxiety I felt was palpable and my mouth had gone dry. As I pulled up to the house, Mel greeted me at the door.

‘Leah! We weren’t expecting to see you back so soon. Everything ok? You look a little pale’.

‘Um, yeah, is Kai about? I need to talk to him’.

‘He’s in his workshop, Leah are you ok?’

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine’.

I could barely speak my mouth felt like sandpaper and I knew I wasn’t reassuring when I replied, but I just wanted to find Kai and get this over with. I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. I scurried off before she could engage me in conversation further.

Kai had to be the one I spoke to first, he could tell Mel and Cal because I had to then go home and tell my parents.

I mean, I still may not even get a place, but if I do, I find out this week and I would be leaving in less than 3 weeks.

I knew my chances were as good as anyone else’s, my teacher told me a friend of his had got a place a few years back and gave him some tips on what they were looking for.

My application was spot on, and I had a supporting letter from both my college tutor’s and those letters were gold alongside my portfolio.

I made my way gradually towards the workshop and paused to calm my breathing before I turned the corner.

I knew the door would be open and I wasn’t quite ready for him to see me. I tried to focus my erratic thoughts, on what I wanted to say, and how I was going to say it.

As I reached the point of no return, I slowly closed and opened my eyes as I inhaled and exhaled, my shoulder’s moving with me. I stood tall and took a step forward, so I was in his sight. Here goes.