Don't call me Princess!

Chapter 7

Bethany POV

Thomas came to visit me today, and he brought Judy and Mini Bob. The baby looks huge compared to ours now. He is about to turn one and is already taking steps around the room; he would walk half a dozen steps, then fall on his bottom to look around before he takes off again. He was stretching for items on the chair and then pulling at the cords that, thankfully, are no longer connected to me. Judy had brought with her some toys to play with. Still, he was more interested in the room and new discoveries than his toys and showed off that he was walking now and had been talking to himself as he moved about, laughing when he fell on his bottom and looked over at Judy or Thomas to see how they react to his little fall. He laughs when they laugh at him, but when they pay no attention, he shakes it off and takes off again to hunt for something else to grab or put in his mouth. He found fluff or other things on the floor that we had not even seen, his beady little eyes finding all sorts of things to try and eat. He is the image of his Dad, and he has the cutest little dimples and rosy cheeks. He is such a happy little boy. It was as if Thomas knew I needed some company today, the three-day blues they call it, and I was feeling the blues; Pam had gone home, and so had Jazmin, and I was feeling sorry for myself, bursting into tears for no reason. The nurses said it was expected, but I do not feel normal. I feel gross, sad, and confused; I wouldn't say I like feeling this way.

Thomas stayed for four hours, laughing and letting me fuss over his boy. Judy looked like she was happy for the break. I took them one at a time to see the quads. They loved the names and were pleased that the babies had made it through and were getting stronger each day. I talked with Thomas about sports day, and he said he would make it once a month, and he was okay with that. He believed I would be so consumed by the babies that sports would be the last thing on my mind; I chuckled, knowing he was most likely right, but I wanted the whole family together for lunch and good cheer at least once a month.

Nate recovered physically but was still worried about leaving the house. Thomas has a friend who has suffered something similar, and he has come over to try and help him through this. We all hope it is temporary and does not become so bad that he is housebound forever; I know it can happen. Thomas is doing all he can to avoid that; I said I would bring all the babies over at some point so he can meet them, and I hope it will snap him out of it. I feel for him; I remember how I felt getting into a car again; it took a lot of work to stop the panic each time I climbed into a car.

Zena was struggling a bit last night and had to go back to tube feeding for a little while, and she was the weakest and smallest now, having lost too much weight. The boys are thriving, and hearing about her struggle had me in tears again. I can't wait for the blues to pass me by; it is unpleasant to go through.

The following two days went faster. The blues were gone, and my thoughts were on my babies. They are all back on the bottle, getting stronger by the day. Even the girls have picked up the pace, and I am headed home with promises of visiting each day. Pam and I would come together and spend the day here; her boys would be home sooner than mine; those two extra weeks in the womb made so much difference.

I was happy for her and Dad. My Dad dotes on them, the babies, and Pam. He is here for a few hours each night before heading home; he looks tired but happy. I am more than happy for him. He seems to have a glow about him that was not there before, and I thank Pam and the babies for that.

Mum and my sister's issues are no longer a daily reminder in my mind. I did think of them when I was having the blues day, what they were missing out on, and what we could have shared. But that was it. I am moving on. Even Bret is a distant, lousy memory that seldom rises to the surface. Life goes on, and whatever they are into is no longer here in our city. I am glad, as I did not want my children to live with that corruption, even if they never see it. I would know it was around, which was more than enough to make me shiver. I no longer need to look over my shoulder to see if I am being followed.

The day to go home came. I was more than ready to go home but sad to be leaving the children behind. I kept telling myself to stop being selfish. They needed to be here, which was training for when they started school. I have to let them go then, too. I know it was a weird way to think of it, but it is temporary, and I need to accept it in any way I can.

I kissed each baby goodnight and left the hospital with Theo; he kept looking at me as he drove home, concerned. He could see the few tears that ran down my face as I walked away from them; no matter how hard I tried, I could not stop that from happening. When we arrived home, the tears had stopped, and I was thrilled to see our home. Not Hank's, but our home. Theo had moved our things over while I was in the hospital and did not tell me we were living here now, that all was done; the only thing left was the nursery and playroom for me to decide the last placement. We had the rooms painted, items in the rooms waiting for me to decide where I wanted them, and other small things needed to be done that Theo dared not try to do without me.

The Nanny is living with us and has popped in a number of times to see me and get to know the babies she will be helping us with. She has been like a housekeeper at the moment, cleaning up all the dust that settled in after the renovations; no matter how hard they tried, dust still manages to linger in the air and find all your shiny countertops to drop on. Theo called a cleaning service to come in after seeing Heather cleaning and polishing more often than he thought was necessary; they did a thorough job and, according to Theo, managed to clear the dust at last.

I entered our newly renovated home since it had been completed and looked around. It was beautiful; the wall I wanted to be knocked down to make the ground floor more open-plan living had done the trick, and it had transformed the darkest areas of the ground floor into a bright and more comfortable place, with four children going to be running around, I wanted fewer walls down here, for them to be free in. A huge table was near the kitchen area, large enough for us all to sit on, and it had panels that could extend the table for more if need be, though having more children at the moment is missing from the cards.

The place looked fantastic, even the outside area. Theo's idea included a basketball hoop climbing frame and a lovely sandpit. He seems to have thought of a number of games the children could play outside. I can't wait for them to be home.

They still have a week or two, depending on how fast they put on weight; I am hoping it is not too long. I want to start a routine as soon as possible and have this nanny doing her job, or she is going to drive me crazy fussing over me.