Stressed Spelled Backwards

Chapter 5

"I still can't believe you did that," I said as we both entered the apartment. "If Elise finds out, you'll be wrapped in plastic, sitting in the supermarket with the rest of the pork chop!"

"Azra, I can't believe you're concerned about it. I practically stole my girl back in front of the said girl," she said. "I bet Clarice herself didn't even see it coming. You should be happy for me."

"And you still have the decency to come back," Elise said with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked at us in accusation. I froze in the hallway with wide eyes.

"What do you mean? It's my apartment, too," Karmen said and walked off to open the fridge. Elise stared at the back of her head. If she could use heat vision, she would have roasted Karmen on the spot by now.

"I knew what you did to Clarice," she said. I gasped.

"Oh, did she tell you?" Karmen turned to face her.

"No, but I know you," she said. "You always play dirty."

"Listen, Princess Peach," Karmen said. "I was the one who found her first."

"And I'm the one who saved her from a potential player like you," Elise said and stepped closer to Karmen. They started a staring match. I could imagine the electricity projecting from their eyes.

"Whoa...whoa...girls!" I came to stand between them. "We're not fighting over a girl, okay? We should establish something as a ground rule. We need to have a sis-code."

"What?" Elise looked at me.

"It's like a bro code invented by the Americans," I explained. "It's basically a friendship etiquette."

"Well, you tell her," Karmen said. "She has never heard of territory. You don't move in on another girl's girl."

"I didn't," said Elise smugly. "She asked me out."

Karmen's face turned red. I figured she was going to grind Elise into a meaningless powder. It didn't happen because the phone rang. I went to pick it up and heard Celie's loud voice like it was through a speaker.

"No one is interested in your love life, can you girls tune it down a bit?" she said. "There are people in this building who are allergic to dramas."

I turned to my two best friends as if to say, 'you heard her.'

We decided to call it off for now. Elise sulked into her room. Karmen went to wash her makeup. Then another phone call, and it was from my mom.

"Hi, honey," she said. "What are you doing?"

"Oh nothing, just watching a drama."

~*~

With two of us being jobless, and Elise's first paycheck was still in question, we had just enough money in the bank to last us another month. Or less. We went to the supermarket and bought instant everything. Instant macaroni and cheese, instant rice, instant potatoes, instant pasta, frozen vegetables, precooked chicken, and pizza.

We had to live on $15 per person a day. And living for a week on fifteen bucks in New York City was a special talent. Fortunately, we still had some groceries left. Nothing fancy, soup, sandwiches, Kraft Dinner, and cereal for breakfast. A care package of muffins from Mrs. Novikova arrived by mail, and we were really thrilled. That was probably the lowest point in our lives when we were just happy to see muffins. Every penny counted. We had enough cash to send Elise on the taxi to her photoshoots. So if Karmen or I got a job, we would have to use the bus or the subway. As for eating out and entertainment - forget it.

We'd just bundled Elise off to work. Karmen waved at her as she got into the car with a sarcastic, "Have a nice day at work, honey!"

I had gotten up early to prepare her a brown bag lunch, but she mentioned something about lunch break with Clarice, so I chucked it into the trash bin instead. But later I recovered it because I was hungry.

Karmen was still hurt from the biggest rejection in her modeling life. Things always went her way back in Russia. Not that she was successful in this career or anything, but she insisted that her ten thousand followers on i********: were proof enough that she deserved the job. I guessed she had no experience in dealing with anything less than sunshine and roses.

Karmen almost set our apartment on fire one morning. I was still in the shower when I heard our landlady yelling through the window of the deli.

"Put it out, Miss. Kaverina! Smother it with water! Don't burn down my building, I tell you!"

Wrapping myself in a towel, I ran out to find the apartment thick with black smoke. Elise and Karmen were standing there, staring at the flaming fry-pan.

I found a cover and smothered the fire. I threw open the windows then I put my face out and bellowed as loud as I could.

"No problem! Just a little accident cooking breakfast! Everything's under control!"

"I'm not deaf, Miss. Kononovich," came Celie's reply. "Come down to my restaurant. I'll make you safe breakfast."

By this time, the fire was out, but thick clouds of dense smoke were billowing from the burned pan.

"You have to use low heat," Elise was lecturing, "especially with this type of pan. It's not made from anodized aluminum..."

"Okay, I give up." Karmen threw her hands in the air. "I'm sorry I didn't take a course on how to do everything in the known universe. My sincere apologies."

Elise gave her a grim death glare.

"Hey." I stepped between them again. "Celie could make us breakfast. Just relax. No worries."

We went down to the deli and sat at the same table as the other regulars here.

"Well, Karmen, it looks like we blew our chance at being hired when we got turned down at the last audition," I said while we were eating. "Maybe we should find some side jobs just to keep ourselves afloat."

"What kind of job do you suggest?" she said. Suddenly, Ms. McHugh came up with The New Yorker Employment section and dropped it on our table.

"What's this for?" I asked.

"Celie said two Russian girls might be looking for employment as of today."

"Yeah, but we don't think these jobs suit us," Karmen said. "We're not brain surgeons or computer analysists. We're models, remember?"

Then Celie who was behind the counter, involved in a hubcap sale, said. "Okay, Miss. Kaverina, for the love of all things edible, I don't wanna see three starving Russians in my building. Just know that the first rental p*****t is coming this weekend. Jobs for feeders are hard to come by these days. "

"Celie, have you been eavesdropping on us?" I said.

The landlady brandished her spatula defensively. "It's my fault you young ladies are yelling and screaming all the time? You want some privacy? Try talking like a normal person." Then she turned away to her work.

"Now even our landlady knows we're broke," Karmen said.

"We need to find a job, fast," I said in agreement. Then I turned to Elise. "You have enough cash for the cab?"

"Don't worry, a company's driver is coming to pick me up today," she said with a shrug. A moment later, we saw a long black limo rolled in and pulled up right in front of us. Everyone looked through the window.

"See you later," Elise said and left the deli. Our jaw dropped as we watched her getting into the limo with some other models.

"Wow," I breathed. "She's living the dream."

"She's living our dream," Karmen said. "It's not fair!"

"If you wish to say that often, you'll have to get in line," I said.