Stressed Spelled Backwards

Chapter 4

Karmen was floating around the apartment in her red spaghetti strap dress. She was trying to make Elise jealous that she had a date with the Elven Princess tonight.

"I believe in miracles," she said, dabbing perfume over her person in front of the mirror. "If good things don't work out, better things will."

As I listened, I tried not to think about Clarice Kingsley and her long beautiful mermaid hair.

"Where are you going to take her to?" I asked her.

"Somewhere fancy and romantic, of course," she said. "I wouldn't take a girl to a lousy place."

"Well, just remember that you're still unemployed," Elise said.

Karmen shot her an offended look.

"I would like to hear more from you, but I'm busy now. Can I ignore your opinion some other times? I have a date to go to," she said, then she grabbed her cell phone. "Hello, Clarice? It's Karmen...Karmen Kaverina. Yes, I'm ready...oh?....Wait, what?... You've got other plans? Well, break them...we have a date...oh you can't? Well...no problem. Nah...don't worry about it. Later."

She hung up and looked irritated.

"Bummer. She can't make it today."

A few minutes later, Elise's phone rang and she picked up.

"Hello?" Elise said. "Oh hey! Yes, I'm free tonight. Oh cool, I would love to!"

After she hung up, she pranced around her room and started getting dress.

Karmen and I snapped our heads to each other. A while later, Elise emerged from her closet in a pastel pink dress and a white silk blazer. She looked elegant and cute. Even Karmen was staring at her up and down in scrutiny.

Karmen was very calm when she asked Elise, "Where are you going?"

"On a date," Elise said and winked at us. Karmen burst out laughing.

"At last!" she said. "There is a woman desperate enough to waste a Friday night on the Princess Peach!"

Elise just smiled and started applying some cherry lipstick on her pouted lips. She put on her heels.

"Hey, you want me to call the Uber?" I offered.

"No thanks. Clarice will be here in five," she replied.

"Clarice?" Karmen and I said together.

"Yeah." she shrugged.

We didn't catch it at all, and it took a few seconds to sink in.

"You're on a date with Clarice Kingsley? The Clarice Kingsley?" Karmen added. "No way!"

"Well, I believe in miracles, too," Elise said and began to walk to the door. "Oh and don't wait for me. I'll be late tonight."

When she left, Karmen grabbed me and we raced to the window. We saw Elise reappeared, walking hand in hand with Clarice into a car.

"Impossible!" Karmen said. "Did she just blow me off for that bimbo? What the hell is going on? Now she's dating the Princess Peach? How did that happen? Did I miss something?"

I turned back and sat down heavily on the couch. My hopes for Clarice Kingsley got whisked off farther away. Karmen seemed unusually calm as she sat down beside me. I couldn't imagine what she was thinking about.

"Well," Karmen said. "There's only one explanation. Clarice is a nutcase. Poor Princess Peach. Good thing I didn't get mixed up with her."

"You didn't call Clarice back all week, remember?" I said in a feeble attempt to defend the girl who clearly didn't notice me. Karmen shrugged.

"Her loss," she said. "Now what are we going to do tonight?"

"I scouted out the perfect place for us to eat," I said. "It's cheaper and nicer than the deli. It's right here across the street."

"Good," Karmen said. "Hopefully I can get to hook up with some hotter chicks than Clarice."

The bistro was in a building that looked like a cooler version of ours. The paint was fresh, the brick had been sandblasted, and classic wooden windows.

"We'd better be careful not to let Celie see us going into someone else's place," I said. As soon as I said that, we heard our landlady's voice.

"Nooo!"

We wheeled to see her rushing across the street after us, waving her meat fork. By the time she reached us, she was gasping for air.

"Miss. Kaverina! Miss. Kononovich! You can't go in that place!"

We stared back at her. "Why?"

"It's not good for young women like yourselves! Too many men. You'll get harassed or even spiked!"

I swallowed hard. "Ms. Celie, you're not scaring us, are you? This place looks pretty nice and well-organized."

The meat fork made a dangerous arc in front of us.

"You can't relax in there! It's full of potheads packed like sardines!"

Karmen brightened. "That's what we want. We're looking for some fun time."

"No! Miss. Kaverina, you're not disappointing your parents," Celie said. "Come and have dinner in my restaurant."

We looked at our agitated landlady in suspicion.

"Ms. Celie, what do you have against this place?" Karmen said.

"It's owned by a money-crazed hag!" she said. "She stole my husband until his death. And for twenty years this witch has been trying to steal my customers. She's making a fortune with that fancy appearance, but it's all fake in there!"

"I get it," Karmen said. "You're jealous."

"What?" Celie glared. "I deny this!"

"Look, Ms. Celie, we're going to eat wherever we want," I said. "It's cheaper than your deli because our cash is limited."

"Pish posh! I always see you buying expensive clothes," Celie said. "I pray you don't get food poisoning in there."

Our landlady started back to the deli. Karmen and I gazed with a forlorn expression at Celie's large figure retreating.

"Bummer," Karmen said. "We just wanted some food and fun time. This woman spoiled my mood."

We decided to go somewhere else. We found a restaurant that was fairly cool but not too expensive-looking. No sooner were we seated than Karmen's radar was up, scanning the vicinity for a likely female. I ordered low-cost food from the menu.

"Bingo," Karmen said smugly at the girl who had her back turned to us. Her blonde lock cascaded down her small back like living seaweed. "I bet she would make Clarice Kingsley look like a train wreck."

The problem was when the girl turned around with her dazzling green eyes and smiled, it practically knocked the two of us over in our chairs. It was Clarice herself. She didn't see us, but Elise did, and she frowned resentfully at Karmen. Well, talk about big cities and coincidences.

When the food arrived, I was stuffing my face like crazy, so that we could leave the place, but Karmen insisted that we had every right to stay. She didn't find it embarrassing but rather some sort of a challenge instead.

"Keep calm, Azra, we're just here to eat," Karmen said while enjoying a glass of cheap red wine.

"Don't even think about it, Kar," I warned her. But it was too late because I could sense the cogs and wheels turning in her head.

"Check the table in front of her," she just said. "Clarice has the lemon soda. When she reaches for the glass one more time, she'll be mine again."

"What?" I asked.

"Watch and learn."

These were Karmen strategies, they made no sense, but they worked! It unfolded just like she said. After Clarice put down her drink, she excused herself from the table. Karmen suddenly disappeared. I found her heading down the hallway to the restrooms. I knew she was going to trap the Elven Princess there. I didn't like what would come next, but I had no control of the situation. Elise turned in her chair and shot me a look that would melt lead. I shrugged back at her apologetically.

"Did you girls follow me?" she asked as she walked up to me.

"No, Elise! I swear we didn't know you were here," I said. Elise didn't seem to buy it.

"Azra, are you with me or with that foxy minx?" she asked.

"Aw...come on, I'm not taking sides," I said. "You both are my best friends!"

But Elise wasn't listening anymore. She looked around the restaurant.

"Where is she?"

"Who?"

"That foxy minx."

"Oh, she...er...she..."

Then we saw Clarice walking back from the restroom. But her face flushed bright pink. Her bright green eyes seemed a bit glazed over. Elise went over to her quickly. They exchanged a few words and then went back to their table. Elise asked for the bill. I watched them leave through the door.

I turned back and found Karmen on her seat again, grinning.

"Karmen, what did you do?" I asked with a scolding look.

"What? I just claimed what is mine from the beginning," she said. "The Princess Peach could only go far until the real champion shows up! A mind-blowing, knee-jerking kiss beats a romantic dinner date any day!"

"No, you did not!" I gasped. "Elise is going to kill you if she knows that!"

In fact, I wanted to kill her myself for kissing Clarice Kingsley. I was so pissed.

Karmen just giggled to herself.

"No one can steal my girl and gets away with that," she said and shrugged. "If I say so myself, it was true artistry getting her back, right under Elise's nose! I doubt that the Princess Peach could beat my signature move, the hot passionate kiss we shared earlier was just insane."

I was gritting my teeth. "You'd better be careful when we get back."