5 Gone
1579 Words
Nathaniel’s POV
I was in a terrible mood this morning.
I had a weird dream and I couldn't shake the feeling of deja vu out of my head.
I dreamt of Haley. I dreamt of saving her from some bully that was laughing at her and calling her names because she was an orphan. I dreamt about hugging her and comforting her.
I had no f*****g idea why my brain decided to mess with me like that, but I didn’t like the dream. I wanted to forget it as soon as possible.
I sat down at the table and took a sip of coffee.
Haley wasn’t there yet.
That was weird. She was always at the table before me.
“Where is Haley?” I asked my maid as soon as she walked in with a plate full of pancakes.
She furrowed her eyebrows and placed the plate in front of me.
“I don’t know, Sir,” she said. “I didn’t see her this morning. Would you like me to go get her?”
I didn’t want that. I was looking forward to eating my breakfast in peace. She would only want to talk about the appointment I had yesterday.
“No, Mary, thank you,” I said as I put a pancake on the plate in front of me.
“Do you need anything else, Sir?” Mary asked.
I shook my head, making her bow her head a little and leave the dining room.
I picked up my phone and looked at the screen. I had multiple unread messages from Lidia. I sighed and rolled my eyes. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to her this morning. I couldn’t get the image of Haley’s scared face out of my mind and it was pissing me off. Why the hell did I dream about her?
My phone rang and I sighed loudly.
Talking to Alice was just what I needed this morning. She was Haley’s friend from work and she hated my guts.
Why the f**k was she calling me?
“What?” I mumbled as I picked up the call.
“Where is Haley?” she asked angrily.
I sighed again and put another piece of the pancake into my mouth.
“How the hell should I know that?” I mumbled.
“Maybe because you are her f*****g husband,” Alice said angrily. “Check on her. I tried calling her, but the call won’t go through.”
I resisted the urge to sigh again. It seemed like that was all I did this morning.
“Fine,” I said as I hung up the call.
I didn’t want to talk to Alice any longer than I needed to.
“Mary!” I called my maid.
She rushed to the dining room. “Is everything okay, Sir?”
“Yes,” I said. “Go wake up Mrs. Sinclair and tell her that she is late for work.”
“Yes, Sir,” Mary nodded and rushed out.
I looked back down at my phone and opened Lidia’s messages. I read everything she had sent me. It was nothing important. She wanted me to come to see her today. She complained about Haley again. She asked me to call her as soon as I woke up.
I was just about to text her back when Mary rushed back into the dining room.
“Mrs. Sinclair isn’t in her room, Sir,” Mary said, making me look up at her. “It looks like she left.”
Left?!
I saw tears in Mary’s eyes. She looked down and sniffled.
I got up and rushed upstairs.
Left?! Where the f**k did she go?!
I barged into her bedroom and froze.
Mary was right.
My eyes fell on the half-emptied closet. There were still some clothes and shoes left in there. I clenched my fists and stepped inside her room. The bed was made and it didn’t look like she slept in it last night.
When did she leave?
My eyes fell on her desk. I gulped and approached it slowly.
I sat down and looked at the papers in front of me. My heart raced once I realized that I was looking at the divorce papers.
Did she sign them?
There was a white envelope on top of them. I grabbed it and pulled out a piece of paper. It was a letter.
My hands were shaking and a weird feeling in my chest was making me nervous.
To the love of my life,
I am so sorry for everything, Nate. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. I realized that I’ve been forcing you to be with me and I saw how angry that made you. I never wanted that to happen. I wanted you to be happy and I am so sorry for taking the happiness away from you.
I have loved you since the day you saved me from those bullies. You became my best friend and the only person I ever felt safe with. You became the love of my life and the only person I ever wanted to grow old with. My heart always belonged to you and it will always belong to you. I am not leaving because I stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. I am leaving because I can’t watch the hate in your eyes anymore. I am leaving because I can’t watch you go to her every single day. It is killing me and I have to leave.
I was hoping that you would remember me. I was hoping that you would call me Haleybug again. I was hoping that you would tell me that you love me again. Now I am hoping that you won’t remember. I know how much you loved me and I know how much it will hurt if you do remember. I don’t want you to be in pain. I don’t want you to be sad and hurt. I want you to be happy, Nate.
So please be happy. Marry Lidia and enjoy your life with her. I signed the divorce papers. I didn’t ask for anything. I don’t need anything. I don’t want anything. All I ever wanted was your heart. You always had mine.
I love you, Nate. Nothing will ever make me stop loving you.
I am so sorry for everything. Please find it in your heart to forgive me.
I love you.
Forever yours,
Haleybug
My hands were shaking by the time I was done reading. There was a lump in my throat and I couldn't swallow it no matter how hard I tried.
I threw the letter on the table and pulled out my phone.
I searched for Haley’s number and dialed it. It went straight to voicemail.
“f**k!” I shouted as I threw the phone on the table.
I placed my head in my hands and groaned.
I wanted her gone. I wanted to divorce her. I wanted her out of my life.
Why did it feel like I was being ripped open then? Why was I so angry? Why did I want to trash the f*****g room?
I moved my hands from my face and looked down at the divorce papers. I grabbed them and skipped to the last page. Her signature was on the line at the bottom of the page. All I had to do was sign my name next to hers and she wouldn't be my wife anymore.
I gritted my teeth and put the papers back down.
I wanted this. I wanted her gone.
This was a good thing. This was f*****g perfect. I was now free to do whatever the f**k I wanted to do.
I looked at the letter again. I looked at the last word she wrote.
Haleybug.
I grabbed the letter and started reading it again. Why the f**k didn’t she do this in person? Why did she have to leave in the middle of the f*****g night?
Every word on that page was like a knife through my skull. My head was throbbing. The pain was pulsating behind my eyes, making it hard for me to read. I felt the anger inside me grow. My chest felt tight and I couldn't even take a deep breath.
I really wanted to destroy everything around me.
Why the f**k wasn’t I as happy as I was supposed to be?!
So please be happy. Marry Lidia and enjoy your life with her. I signed the divorce papers. I didn’t ask for anything. I don’t need anything. I don’t want anything. All I ever wanted was your heart. You always had mine.
I would be happy. I would marry Linda and we would expand our business. I would make my father proud and happy. It would be a perfect marriage between two business people. Not to mention that Linda was easy on the eyes and I was sure that she would be a good f**k.
I would achieve what my father wanted me to for the last year.
Why wasn’t I happy then?! Why didn’t I sign those f*****g papers as soon as I walked in the f*****g room?!
I put the papers back on the desk and gritted my teeth.
I stood up and stormed out of the room.
My head was killing me and I needed to get the f**k out of there before I destroyed everything around me.
- Writer
