THE JOURNEY OF SHEIRA HART

25 | A Pain in The Ass

“Was he expecting us to become like them?” I asked Mikhael the moment we got back to our cabin. Suddenly, going to the restaurant doesn’t sound appealing as it did before all of it happened. So we sat in our cabin, as the train started to move a few minutes ago. I don’t know how long before we arrive at our next destination but we must be nearing.

Mikhael shrugged as he put on a white T-shirt which he requested from the attendant earlier. “Emotions can’t be trusted sometimes. But as long as we don’t kill or harm anybody, we should be fine.”

I muttered something under my breath. It wasn’t something that needed to be announced because it is something that should never be done in the first place. As long as we don’t do the forbidden, it should be fine. We should be fine.

The train wasn't bothered that much by the commotion earlier. I don’t think the other souls were aware of what just happened. Or perhaps Mr. Thanis already did his job of returning everything to normal as if nothing happened. Like what he did back at my school when Monica went batshit crazy. Even the cabin door earlier that was almost destroyed by the zombie-like soul was fixed. Perhaps he did something so the others won’t know about it.

And then I remembered the four girls earlier. I looked at Mikhael who was now reading something. “They didn’t look like Monica, or anything you’ve described as tainted souls.”

He stopped reading and looked at me over the rim of his book. And he knew what I was talking about.

“They did it just recently. Once they find entertainment on it, they’ll do it again. And the more they do it, the more tainted their soul becomes. Mr. Thanis picked them up while it was still early. They might still be given a chance to go back.”

I scoffed. “Didn’t you hear what he said? He was drinking and even sent the wrong soul to pick them up. How could he possibly mistook that soul as his assistant?”

I heard him chuckled. “It was funny,” he said and closed his book. “You really thought a zombie apocalypse was happening, didn’t you?”

I rolled my eyes and he continued to laugh. “Didn’t you?”

“Shut up. You thought it was going to happen too!”

He shook his head. “I knew.”

“What do you mean you knew?”

The moment he pointed towards your direction, I thought at first he wants you. I couldn’t possibly know who he was pointing at exactly since his eye sockets were empty. But then he was blabbering words and that’s how I realized he isn’t like Monica. Well, he is like Monica but he’s someone who has probably spent a long time in the Underworld. And when you mentioned Grim Reaper, he looks around, as if expecting Mr. Thanis to be around. He didn’t go wild. He behaved.”

I nodded in understanding.

“But I still wasn’t expecting that those girls did something wrong until Mr. Thanis said so.”

I looked at the book on the table.

“Do you think they’ll be given a chance?”

“Chance of what?” he said and looked out the window. The snow-capped mountains looked pretty but were pretty disturbed by what I have seen today to appreciate the magnificent view outside.

“A chance to come back,” I said.

He just shrugged. “Who knows? If the victim won’t die then they might be spared. But knowing Mr. Thanis…” he trailed and looked at me. And I know what he meant.

Mr. Thanis seemed like someone who enjoys punishment very much. I swallowed hard.

“What if…” I looked at Mikhael. “What if someone…what if someone is about to disappear and does something forbidden?”

He sighed. “That’s what happened to Monica. She was roaming this world for so many years, lost. And because Mr. Thanis couldn’t find her easily, she got stuck in the living world, not able to disappear since she is supposed to be in the Underworld.”

I nodded and looked outside. It was when an attendant knocked on our cabin door and gave us some snacks. I didn’t feel hungry, nor will I ever be. But then looking at the snacks made me want to have some of it. It looked really delicious and I figured I should try some. I picked up a macaroon and tossed it inside my mouth since it was just small ones. I didn’t stop myself from moaning the moment I felt the rich flavor inside my mouth. Mikhael was looking at me.

“It’s that delicious?” he asked and I felt my cheeks flushed for a moment before I nodded towards the plate full of macaroons.

“You should try it.”

He gave me a dubious look before he shrugged and picked one. His eyes widened the moment it was inside his mouth.

“Sweet mother of Jesus,” he uttered and I just laughed.

“Exactly,” I said and we finished two bowls of it until we reached our destination.

We felt the train stopped and I looked outside only to see the same spot we stopped last time. I looked at Mikhael, confused. But he just shrugged and stood up the moment we heard the announcement on the train’s speakers.

“Welcome to your second stop,” the speaker said. We went out and I realized there weren’t many of us now. Mikhael has probably read the question on my face.

“Some probably rode on a different train. Don’t get pressured now,” he said and stuffed his hands inside his pockets. He started walking. I looked around and watched the others. They were talking but despite that, I could see that like me, they are in doubt as to what each of our second stops is all about. And the only way to find out is to move and find it.

I followed Mikhael who was already far ahead of me. The park that we saw last time wasn’t there but instead, we saw my school’s ground.

I heard Mikhael groan. “I don’t want to find another Monica again.”

I rolled my eyes. “We didn’t fight her. She beat the hell out of us. I believe the correct expression should be, ‘I don’t want to get beaten up by Monica again’.”

“Why do you have to be so contradicting about it?”

I faced him. “I am merely stating a fact. Not a contradiction.”

I heard him groan and I smiled inwardly. I looked at the school building and at the gigantic clock in front of it.

It read 12 o’clock. I could see some students playing soccer. I didn’t bother to duck when I saw a soccer ball flying in my direction. I let it hit my head and it just went straight through.

Mikhael was looking at me, obviously entertained. “It would have been a sight if you were hit by it for real.”

“You’re an asshole.” I rolled my eyes and started walking.

I don’t know what I needed to find out at this stop. But the only way to find out was to go in. So I started walking ignoring Mikhael as he was roaming his eyes around the area. I could see some students on the track field wearing their P.E. uniforms. I chuckled lightly as I remembered how tedious I found P.E. It was just running, and stretching, and playing sports, all under the heat of the afternoon sun. I would often find myself lying that I have my period cramps or a bad headache just to excuse myself from all the activities. But the professor didn’t believe me the fifth time I tried to pull off another excuse. He made me run an extra lap.

I remember cursing him with all my might under my breath but looking at them now, I suddenly felt nostalgic. It was something I hated to do but I missed it anyway.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued walking. The students have an hour break and most students are probably in the cafeteria.

One thing about the cafeteria is that this is the place where you’ll know who’s the popular one and who isn’t. A lot of kids would sit and swarm around the popular one. I don’t really get why they like the popularity so much. I wasn’t popular. I wasn’t someone invisible either. I had some friends. I had Loren.

We knew each other since we were young. I remember our families were really close friends and when they moved next to us, we became friends instantly. I like to talk. Loren likes to listen. We were compatible and we became friends ever since.

I looked around the cafeteria. I could see the popular girls on the table. A lot of them were on the table. In fact, it was the biggest table in the cafeteria and nobody should sit there aside from there. It became an unwritten rule.

Though they aren’t mean to other students, they surely make sure to make others feel inferior. I know they don’t intend to do it. I never really paid much attention to them before. I looked at the calendar plastered on the cafeteria’s counter and I found out I am currently in the time a few weeks after my funeral.

I swallowed hard. My eyes scanned the whole cafeteria and then I saw him.

Jacob was sitting with Loren at the table. I remember that was where we used to sit. The three of us. The spot offers a good view of the field. It was far enough from the commotion too so it was quite enough for us to talk about everything.

“Wow. This place sure is packed. I can imagine Monica having so much fun while tapping on these students.” Mikhael said. I just rolled my eyes.

I was about to walk close to the table when something happened. Suddenly, I felt like a veil was in front of me. I couldn’t see the surroundings clearly and it was when I reached my hand out that I felt I was touching something. Like a cloth.

A veil, indeed. It was like we were inside a transparent cloth but we couldn’t see what’s outside.

I looked behind me and saw Mikhael wondering the same thing. He shrugged when he saw the question on my face. Like me, he has no idea of what is happening.

I swallowed hard as I looked at the veil. And it took me a few moments to get the courage to open it. I wasn’t expecting anything strange. In fact, the moment I opened the veil, it was still the cafeteria. It was still noisy. The popular kids were still talking a bit louder than the rest of the students inside. It was the same place but it looked…faded. Like an old photograph. I looked at the table and saw three people sitting on it now. Loren and Jacob were the first two.

And the third person was me.

I froze as I looked at myself. I was wearing the school’s P.E. uniform. I felt Mikhael stepping beside me as he, too, was looking at the table where I was sitting.

“The past,” Mikhael said. “This is your past.”

It was the past, indeed. I was munching on my lunch while Loren was talking to me about something. Jacob was on his phone. I don’t know when it happened in the past. I don’t recall what happened. So I stepped closer, hoping to hear what they were saying. And when I was near enough, I couldn’t help but gasp softly as I saw my face.

It was me in the past. She was happy. I looked at Jacob who put her phone down after I asked him a question.

I walked closer to hear what he was about to say. “The coach said I am excused,” Jacob said and raised both his hands.

I narrowed my eyes as I looked at him suspiciously. Jacob shook his head. “I swear!”

Loren sighed. “He ditched practice when he heard you were in the clinic. He was worried, Sheira. Let him be.”

“I,” I said, “wasn’t feeling sick or anything. I was just trying to ditch P.E. class.”

“We both ditched then,” Jacob said and I gave him an incredulous look before he laughed.

“So you did ditch your practice!” I exclaimed and hit his arm jokingly. He just laughed and held my arm to stop me from hitting him.

“You did it too. I should be getting angry at you right now but I did the same thing.” He shrugged and I scoffed.

“The next time you hear me I am in a clinic, don’t believe it,” I said.

Then Jacob’s face became serious. “I’ll be there whenever you need me, Sheira. I’ll always be there,” he said. I looked at myself as I stared at Jacob.

It was then I remembered what happened at this very moment. A few hours after this lunch in the cafeteria, Jacob would tell me he likes me and I would tell him I like him too. I couldn’t help the tears that started brimming in my eyes.

“The past sometimes could be a pain in the ass,” I heard Mikhael said as I felt him step beside me. “So I wouldn’t blame you if you feel…sad right now.”

I know what he wanted to say. That it’s okay for me to cry. I stared at the three people in front of me who were laughing wholeheartedly. I stared at myself laughing without having any idea of what’s going to happen in the future.

That I would die and leave the people I care about behind.

Pain in the ass, indeed. 

* * *