Butterflies Blue

The Chokin’ Kind

THE CHOKIN’ KIND

GILBERT, ARIZONA

Same Night, Three Years Earlier

As Layla stood under the moonlit stars trying to calm down, she could hear DJ Quikster from inside the conference room. “Boggie down, y’all. This is the Quikster aka Buttalove. I know you guys have been sweating like dogs because of tonight’s grooves. The playas gotta take a break, but I’ll let my tunes play so y’all can keep boogieing. Thanks for the love. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. I’m out.”

Until DJ Quikster made his recent announcement, Layla hadn’t realized that she had been standing outside of the building alone for nearly an hour. The time had passed quickly. She realized that this was her party. She was the hostess and needed to get back inside so that no one would be offended, especially Leon’s mother, not to mention his obnoxious sister, Loretta. But before Layla mustered the courage to return to the graduation party, she could hear footsteps slowly approaching her.

“Layla… Layla, is that you?” Leon’s voice was quiet yet stern.

“Yes,” she said nervously when he finally came close to the light and she could discern his features.

He was surprised to find her outside rather than mingling with the guests or seated at the head table with his mother and sister.

“I couldn’t find you inside once the DJ took a break. How long have you been out here?” he asked.

Layla knew that Leon was too busy flirting and dancing with other women to notice that she had been gone for a long time.

She quickly replied, “Only a few minutes. I had to get something out of the car.”

She hoped that Leon’s sister would not mention her absence to him until after the party. Layla did not want to address her feelings now. She wanted to wait until they were alone, and his family had returned to California.

Leon approached closer and stood next to her. He unexpectedly grabbed her arm tightly and was about to scold her like he typically did when he was upset.

She interrupted him. “I have a gift for you, honey.”

She pulled a small, wrapped package from her Louie Vuitton purse and gave it to him.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a surprise. I hope you like it.”

She knew Leon hated surprises. He looked puzzled towards it and reluctantly took it from her. Once the gift was unwrapped, Leon could see the stainless steel TAG Heuer watch; its blue dial shimmering from the outdoor lighting. He put it on.

“Thank you, dear.”

He quickly kissed her on the cheek. It was a small peck. The ones strangers give as greetings.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes, I do.”

He secretly hoped that it was a Rolex once he could tell it was a watch box in his hand, but he tried to hide his feelings. Layla could tell.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I swear nothing.”

“This has been a horrible day. The worst day ever,” she exclaimed with derision.

She could no longer hold her feelings inside.

“Now listen, lady. My mom and sister are inside, and I don’t want you making a scene.”

“I’m not making a scene. I’m telling you how I feel.”

“You and your feelings. I’m not having it tonight. Of all nights.”

“It’s just that I spent five thousand dollars on your graduation party, not to mention your gift. I planned the whole thing without your help, without your family's help. We should have entered the party together as a couple. You should have introduced me to the guests and thanked me for throwing you this party when you gave your speech. You acted as if I didn’t exist.”

“I know you want to be my First Lady, but that’s not happening yet. You know that. We talked about it already.” His voice was exasperated.

“When is it going to happen? Do you even want it to happen?”

“I told you. The last woman I dated had to be admitted to a mental hospital. And my ex-wife cheated on me. I’m not gonna rush into something right away. You know that, Layla." He paused as if to collect his thoughts. "I have concerns about you. You have mental issues too.”

After seeing Layla's facial expression suddenly change, Leon realized that he slipped and said something that had been on his mind, but which he had hidden from Layla whenever she asked about his concerns about their relationship.

“Mental issues? You really think that? How dare you!”

“I don’t want my congregation getting used to you and then we have a public breakup. You know how I am about my reputation. I don’t need anyone sullying it.”

“You don’t care about your reputation when you have me spend the weekend at your house when I visit from New York. The members know where I stay when I'm in Arizona. They can figure out that we were having s*x, that you were f*****g me all this time. Don’t kid yourself, Leon.”

“What did you say?” Leon’s nostrils flared angrily. His eyes bulged like they were going to come out of their sockets. “I told you never to speak to me that way again.”

His two hands grasped her neck tightly. Layla could feel her throat tightening. She was slowly unable to breathe.

“Stop. Stop,” she gasped. “I can’t breathe. You’re hurting me.”

Leon loosened his grip. He squeezed so tight that he left bruises on her neck. He could care less about her physical or emotional well-being. His numb facial expression revealed that to her.

“My family is here. Don’t start this again.”

He tightened his grip to emphasize his point and then pushed her aside. He took a deep breath, straightened his suit jacket, and walked away, back into the conference room.

When he was in the center of the room again, he exclaimed, “Hey ladies. Pastor Leon is back…” He lifted his arms triumphantly and smiled to the roar of the crowd.

Layla sobbed quietly so that no one could hear her. A few tears escaped despite her valiant efforts to hold them back. She tried perilously to compose herself, but her broken spirit weakened at times. It was at these moments when her true character wanted to reassert itself, but she would not let it. She fought harder and wiped away her tears in a defiant manner until the strong, relentless Layla surfaced.

There was no point returning to the party. She suspected that Leon bruised her neck in the same manner when he last assaulted her. She had no scarf to wrap her neck and to hide the markings. Given the hot Arizona evening, a scarf would be suspicious, especially because no one had seen her enter the party with any scarf on. She decided to drive back to her extended stay apartment that she rented after moving to Arizona for her job. When she finally found the keys to her Acura MDX after fumbling through her purse, she walked resolutely to her SUV.

“That was the last time, motherfucker,” she muttered to herself as she drove away.