HUDSON'S CHOICE

9.

As he walked over to the bar to fill the glasses again, Nadia’s eyes were attracted by his buttocks. She observed that they were firm and curved and connected to a pair of muscular and proportionate thighs. She had never really concentrated on the buttocks of a man before, often wondering why her friends were excited about them and emitted a range of different ooohs as soon as they saw a guy pass with what they thought were good looking buttocks. Okay, now I understand. Very nice, indeed. But that’s enough. You’re here to do your job, not to let the pleasure go to your eyes.

As he returned with their glasses, she began to wonder in what proportions the story he had invented was really... invented. He had the body to be a mountaineer. But such a physical condition could correspond to many sports profiles.

“There’s a problem?” she heard Max ask through the cloud of her thoughts.

“Oh, no, sorry. I was just thinking about something. I didn’t want to stare. Well, maybe I did, but I didn’t want to get caught.”

Giving her the glass of gin and tonic, Max sat down next to her and raised his glass. “I hope this is the start of a very interesting deal.”

“So you think you’d like to have me again?” Nadia asked, hoping not to sound too desperate to hear the confirmation that she had offered a sufficiently correct performance for her first night.

“Nothing is more certain. I’ll talk to Claudia again the next time I’m in town. I had a great night, and I hope it was bearable for you.”

Bearable? It was breath-taking.

“It was better than bearable,” she replied calmly.

When she glanced at the clock on the night table, they both knew that their time was coming to an end. Without wanting to seem to be in a hurry, Nadia began to pick up her clothes and dress. Max watched throughout the operation, apparently not wanting to miss a single moment of the Nadia experience, enjoying the same focus on her routine as she adorned herself with jewellery and applied a new coat of red lipstick. When she prepared her bag, he wasn’t surprised to see that she didn’t throw everything in at random. On the contrary, she placed every object conscientiously in its compartment, leaving it as clean and organized as when she had arrived. Max loved her details and details like this made him appreciate her all the more.

“I think I’m ready, but we still have a few minutes. You want me to stay with you?”

“Thank you, I would like that very much, if you’re not in a hurry to leave,” he said, showing her to the small sofa. “Shall we sit here?”

“You’re intelligent,” he continued as she sat down. “You don’t seem to have an addiction to drugs and you ooze elegance. So tell me, why is it that you, you do it?” he asked, sitting down beside her.

“I’m not sure that’s the perfect ending for this evening, right?”

“It was you who started, remember,” he replied.

“That’s true. I overstepped, I know. I know we aren’t supposed to talk about our personal lives or anything that would identify us in real life.”

“I understand, I’m just really very curious to know why someone like you finds yourself doing this. You’re very different from all the other girls I’ve seen doing this,” said Max, reassuringly. “I didn’t want to put you on the defensive.”

“You’re not. Or maybe a little. I don’t know. I try to follow the rules, but a part of me wants to know more about you and reveal more about myself, too. Is that odd?”

“Not at all, in my opinion. Maybe we are alike even if we like to think we’re unique.”

“How do you know...” Nadia stopped. “Do you feel like that, too?” she asked sincerely.

“Absolutely. I suspect that this is one of the reasons I avoid anyone who shows even a little bit of interest in a long relationship. Doing what I do allows me to avoid the inevitable broken heart and disappointments that are an integral part of a serious relationship.”

“Okay, I’ll show my cards and tell you while I finish my drink, but after that, I have to go, okay?” Nadia said, taking a deep breath.

“I share your feelings partly to the extent that I don’t think I can be in a relationship again, never, but that’s not my first motivation. The real reason is even harder to admit to myself. I avoided confronting this issue with incredible success until you came and tested my emotional barriers.

And if I have a hard time dealing with it myself, then sharing it with you puts me in a situation where I may be judged by you or by anyone who learns it, and I seriously think I wouldn’t be able to cope with that.”

Dismayed by the idea, Max grabbed her shoulder in a reassuring gesture and said, borrowing sincerity, “I won’t judge you. How could I? I don’t know anything about you or what led you to do this job.”

“Thank you. That’s easy to say, but not always easy to do. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.”

“Yes, please.”

“I’ve always wanted to since I was a teenager. There, I said it aloud. I cannot take it back again, can I?”

“No, and why would you? There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Max replied.

“Maybe I should be. I don’t know. I was always fascinated by the way men were willing to pay someone for privacy and s*x. I always believed that these men were the kind who could afford to go out with beautiful women, and I always wondered if I was good enough that they were willing to pay to be with me. Does that make sense?”

Max thought for a moment before answering, “It only makes sense if your esteem wasn’t very high to start with. If that’s not it, I don’t understand.”

“You may be right,” she reflected aloud, “maybe all this obsession comes from the low esteem I have of myself. To be honest, I have no damn idea.”

“I like that. Do any of us know why we do what we do, and does it even have a single order of importance?”

“Probably not,” she agreed, getting up and giving Max her empty glass; who seemed reluctant to take it, at first, knowing that it was the signal that the end of their appointment had arrived.

“I have to go. Thanks for the envelope, by the way, and to have been so easy to please tonight.”

Pulling on her new shoes and passing her bag over her shoulder, Nadia walked to the door, stopping so that Max could open it for her like the gentleman she knew he was.

“I’ve had a great night and I’m looking forward to the next one, very soon.”

As she crossed the doorway, she passed a hand over his soft cheek, kissing him on his sensual lips, leaving behind a trace of lipstick that he would notice only long after her departure.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you, too,” were her last words before heading to the elevators, not knowing when or if they would meet again.