Healing the Cold CEO

Chapter Six

***

The first sound I heard was a groan. A pained one that was certainly out of the ordinary and was quick to pull me out of my dream. I was normally a light sleeper but alcohol always had a way of making me sleep just a little deeper. The feel of his hands tightening around my waist were enough to wake me, grogginess aside as I registered that I was now in a bedroom and no longer within the confines of the SUV.

I was grateful for the fact that he was still with me, his body heat warming my back as I recognised that he had been the one to wake me. We were in a bedroom, the black out curtains shielding the time from me but judging from my tiredness, I suspected we were still in the wee hours of the morning. I barely remembered how we got here and was grateful for his forethought. s*x in the car had certainly been hot but sleeping there was a whole other story.

The groan came again, this time right against my ear. His hands tightened reflexively, even more, and I winced slightly at the vice grip. It didn't take me long to realise that Axle was having a night terror, and a bad one at that. While my experience was more with conscious emotional distress in the form of anxiety or otherwise panic attacks, I had been around someone with severe night terrors. And for that reason, I knew exactly what I needed to do.

Releasing a small breath, I maneouvered softly but surely, careful not to stun Axle out of his dream suddenly. Now that would be a disaster. Instead, I managed to turn my body to face his- until I was cocooned against his warm chest and his body that spasmed every few seconds as he fought the demons in his mind. I had known he had a depth of darkness within him- anybody perceptive enough could tell that there was more than meets the eye when it came to the hulk of a man before me.

Feeling the stiffness in his bones, the terror in every single movement he made broke my heart. Whatever it is that was haunting his nights was clearly ingrained deep within him, enough to break down the walls he raised especially high with easy going smirks and and cheesy pick up lines. A level of protectiveness I had experienced only with the girls and my family consumed me with the object of my concern being Axle Gray. I wanted to take it all away. I wanted his nights to be peaceful and his days to be filled with real joy- not the kind he manufactured for the benefit of those around him.

I want to pull him out of his despair and help him realise that his security is with me, on the other side...

I pushed aside the urge to overthink or the pain that consumed every single time his grip got tighter. I would be his safety net every single time despite the pain. I wanted to anchor him back to reality. Lifting my hand, I began with a soft caress on his cheek- almost a shadow of a touch. I wanted him to feel me, to know that he was safe in my arms. My fingers moved from softly caressing his cheek to his hair that was loose. I brushed the curls from his forehead, running my fingers through the silky strands as I whispered soft words.

"Its okay...I am right here...Come back to me. Come back to the other side..."

Soft whispers, warm touch- all meant to assure the man before me that he was safe. His grip begun to loosen, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he pulled me closer to his embrace. My heart was racing, soaring at the close proximity between us. I knew he was feeling better, more peaceful and it filled me with immense joy to have been the one to bring him some semblance of calm. To bring him back from the brink.

"Manamea...Go back to sleep..."

He murmured, voice deep and sleepy. I smiled softly at the sound of the nickname and the calmness in his voice. He was okay and that was all that mattered in this moment even as I yawned in sync with his kiss on my forehead before he pulled me closer.

"Are you okay?"

I murmured sleepily, earning a pause from him before he nodded and tightened his hold on me a fraction- not enough to hurt me but enough to reassure me. I snuggled into his chest, uncaring of the fact that I rarely indulged in such an intimate embrace after a night of passion. Getting attached to Axle Gray was a bad idea but I was too tired to care or even notice that his lax body language was simply a facade.

Sleep engulfed me once more, exhaustion clouding my consciousness but I could swear I felt his kiss on my bare shoulder before he moved away just as a phone vibrated in the distance. It felt cold when he left and my sleep was certainly more disturbed than before. My peace was uncertain without him and it disappeared altogether when I woke up later...

**

The ring of the phone was loud, rousing me instantly from the forgettable dream. I was groggy, cold and sore- struggling to reach for the warmth of the man who had slept beside me not too long ago only to find him gone. His departure was certainly not a dream and although I didn't want to, I felt bereft. Sad.

Stupid for depending on his embrace too much when all that was there between us last night was a culmination of the s****l tension that had existed between us from the moment we laid eyes on each other at Senator Black's Ball one year ago. I'd always been open to explore sexually and a one night stand with Axle Gray would be no different than the one other non-descreipt and forgettable one I'd had ages ago in my late teens.

I refuse to let you consume my thoughts anymore...It was one night. I'll get over it...Starting with answering this damn phone call...

The call had disconnected during my little inward pep talk only to start again. Whoever was calling would clearly not stop and I found myself groaning as I reached over and stared at my mother's picture and Caller ID. I had a vague memory of returning her call at the club only to be forwarded to her voicemail. It was rare for her to call multiple times, especially knowing I was on vacation.

But I guess even laidback mothers worry sometimes...

"Maidin, mother. I'm sorry I missed your call. I tried to return it last night..."

My sentence strayed at the sound of sobbing. I was on high alert instantly, sitting up in the bed as my heartbeat accelerated and fear poisoned my veins.

"Mo chailín beag...you need to come back home..."

Her words were muffled between sobs that broke my fast beating heart. I was terrified, shivers wracking through my body as I swung my legs off the bed and sat on the edge. Somehow, I couldn't find the strength to really stand. Not until I knew what the hell was going on. I had never heard my mother so devastated.

Raven Pritchard Haren was many things but overly emotional was not one among them. She was an empath who had learnt to channel her overwhelming emotions to her art. It was what made her so outstanding in the Art World- a legend in her own right with multiple outstanding masterpieces that had propelled her name beyond her family's influence in the economic world. She was the woman who had nurtured me and taught me how to control my own emotions, to become a prodigy and follow in her footsteps. Footsteps I was proud to follow, no doubt.

It was why her devastation broke me so. Her strength had always been my own and her brokenness was sign enough that something really bad had happened. I didn't need my gut to warn me as it did even now. No, I could feel it in my very bones.

"Mother, what is it? What's going on?"

The urgency in my voice was clear but a supernatural calm settled over me too, almost like the one that came before the storm. My mother had not stopped sobbing and I suddenly found the strength to get to my feet and pace, as I always did when nervous, waiting with bated breath for an answer I knew might just break me. My hangover was gone. My worries over the night before were non existent in this very moment.

My family was everything to me and the thought of anything having happened to any one of them...

"Sweetheart...I need you to sit down for this..."

She began carefully, seemingly gaining all her courage and strength to speak up. I couldn't do it, though. I couldn't acquiesce to her demands in this moment.

"Mother, please! Just tell me what's going on..."

I begged, ignoring her requests. I didn't care about myself in this moment. Nothing mattered but the words that would come out of her mouth next. Words that would slay me.

"Its your...Its your grandfather...we were involved in an accident yesterday and your grandfather....he didn't make it, Elena. He passed away at the scene and your athair...your father is in a comma and the doctors are not sure whether he's going to make it...He protected me. Grá mo chroí...he protected me and now...I can't do this without you, my sweet girl. Please, you must return..."

The trigger words were there, violently pulling me into memories I believed I had dealt with years ago. And yet the despair and the black hole they left never really went away...

Accident....

He's gone...

Tires Screeching.

The smell of burning rubber against pavement...

Fuel soaking my clothes...

Copper....

Blood....

Death....

I didn't realise I was crying until the wetness pooled and trailed down my cheeks, droplets wetting the black shirt I was wearing. Pain exploded in every single part of me, the dull ache in my chest exploding into an unbearable and searing despair that stole the breath right out from my lungs.

"Oh God...How can this...When did this...What do I..."

I whispered over and over again, the ringing in my ears intensifying with every breath I took as wetness trailed from my nose and dripped onto my shirt. I didn't need to reach up to know what it was and yet I did, coming away with blood that was the first sign of what I knew was coming. The taste of copper was jarring. I was having a panic attack, that much was clear. I hadn't had one in years, managing to circumvent even the worst of the worst somehow through breathing exercises and more. But this one would hit home. And it would be catastrophic.

No, I need to breathe...I need to clear my head and breathe...

I tried to reason over and over again, long exhales turning to short breaths as I focused on my mother's voice as she asked me if I was okay over and over again. Her panic was clear. She knew what this kind of news would do to me. I understood why she begged me to sit before she spoke but even that wouldn't have saved me from the blow. The pain was too searing, branded on me permanently.

"Elena Rose, please answer me! I need to hear your voice..."

My mother only used my full name to pull me back from the despair of dark memories. And this worked only to restore my sanity momentarily to give her what she needed.

"I'm here, mother. I'll be home soon. I promise...I just need to get a flight out....I'll be there. Please..."

I was moving before I could comprehend, bursting through the door. Speeding down the stairs on shaky legs whose strength was waning with every step, my words failed me. The adrenaline that had coursed through me momentarily to reassure my mother was waning as was my strength. The darkness was creeping in but I wouldn't let it before she knew that she wasn't alone.

"Please...wait for me. I'll be there..."

I couldn't say more. I was physically unable to but she understood. She's always known me better than anyone else. I knew what she needed to hear in this moment just as she did for me.

"I love you so much, my little girl. We'll survive through this- together. I'll see you soon."

Survive...

The word pinballed around my mind as the strength in my arm gave way as did my legs. My phone tumbled out of my hands just as my body gave into the crushing weight of the news that had shattered my resolve. Survival didn't seem feasible now, despite the warm hands that held me before I crushed into the floor. Voices echoed around me, the clearest one being Gianna who had been my savior. Her hands were firm, holding my upper body as we both tumbled to the floor.

She was calling for help, alarm clear in her features as she held me close to her. She was speaking but I couldn't hear her over the loud buzz in my ears. My breaths were shallow and short. The panic attack I had been surpressing was hitting me now, with all its strength. My gaze travelled from Gianna to Ayana who was kneeling to the left of Gianna now, her alarm clear in her gaze as she spoke to Aimi who was kneeling to the right of Gianna.

All of my girls were here and they were scared. I could see it in their gazes and yet there wasn't much I could do. My body didn't feel like my own anymore as the buzzing intensified. My heartbeat was painful now, the familiar ache of its complaint wrecking me even more. Shivers wracked my body, flashes of hot and cold that shook my body violently.

The buzz reached a crescendo, threatening to destroy my ear drums when it popped suddenly at the feel of strong, familiar arms around me, pressing me hard enough to center me and yet careful enough not to hurt me. The voices came into focus in that moment, a flurry of activity as Aimi took a warm towel from Luka before she pressed it against my nose. My nose bleed had somehow intensified since I had run from the room, staining my black shirt and Gianna's white, silky pajamas but she didn't care.

"Hold her just like that. Constant pressure is what she needs."

Aimi ordered just as Ayana brushed my hair off my face, a warm smile on her lips despite the worry wedged deep in her gaze. She was trying to be strong for me. And I loved her all the more for it.

"Hey, we're right here, babe. Right here."

She reassured over and over again as Gianna and Aimi nodded, their smiles seeming to ease the vice grip that my heart for just a bit. It was his cool and calm voice that seemed to center me, his familiar arms staying constant as did his voice as he whispered reassurances in my ear, just as I had barely hours ago.

"Come back to me, manamea...Come back to my side..."

I followed the rhythm of his own breaths that he synchorinised with my own, the two of us stuck in a moment where nothing else mattered. Not Luka, Damian and Ha Joon who stared at us worryingly. Not my girls who hadn't let go of both my hands for even one second since I had crashed to the floor. They had seen my panic attacks before but never one this bad. Being bare before all of them like this was jarring but only he and I mattered in this moment.

"But my grandfather...my family...I can't, Axe...I don't know what to do..."

My voice did not sound like my own and neither did my sobs as I broke down, the tears streaming endlessly as the pain overwhelmed me once again. My girls were crying with me now, clearly somehow in the loop on how we had gotten here. They knew how close I was to my grandfather. They knew that my family meant everything to me. They knew how much I loved my grandfather.

The guys seemed just as devastated for me. My relationship with my family was no secret to the rest of upper society. That was probably how they had received the news. I knew they weren't the kind of men to show their emotions so easily but their sympathy was welcome in this case because I knew it came from a place of love.

"I know, baby...I've got you. Whatever you need. Anything, manamea...its yours."

It seemed like an unorthodox promise but he meant it and it meant more to me than he could ever know. And so I latched onto him, despite my better judgement, using him as my own anchor to pull me from the depths of my despair. Just this once. Just so I could clearly function enough to make it back to my mother's side.

"I need to get back home. My mother...she needs me."

Axle nodded, placing a chaste kiss on my shoulder before he and Damian shared a look. The former disappeared with Luka and Ha Joon in tow, leaving the girls who didn't budge from their position for anything.

"Damian already has the private jet being fueled. Aimi, Ayana and I will pack your bag so you don't have to worry about that. We'll be out of here and in the air in no time, okay?"

Gianna reassured, smiling warmly at my nod before she and the other girls got to their feet but not before they all looked to the man still holding me, unrelenting in his grip that seemed to be the only thread I could hang onto.

"She needs a shower. We'll leave a change of clothes on the bed."

Aimi stated, her words registering with Axle but her gaze spoke volumes. She's always been protective of all of us and I didn't need to look too closely to see the silent warning in her gaze. Axle seemed to catch on just as quickly as he nodded.

"I'll take care of her. Always."

And then the girls were gone, clearly somewhat satisfied by his answer as they made their way back up the stairs. We were in momentary silence, each somehow finding solace in it despite the activity that was currently ongoing with everyone getting ready to leave.

"Always, huh?"

The words tumbled out, my mind unable to settle on anything other than his very words. It seemed like an odd statement. One I so desperately wanted to be true and yet I knew relying on what I wanted right now was dangerous and illogical. I wanted my grandfather back but that was impossible. Same as wanting to believe that Axle Gray would mean his words. That he really meant it when he said 'Always'.

He was silent for a moment, his hands loosening a fraction but only to lift me to my feet slowly. My legs were weak, wobbly but I didn't have to rely on their strength. I was in his arms, safe in his embrace as he looked down at me with the most piercing gaze I had ever seen. The ring of blue-green was clearer now than ever, golden flecks dancing in the secrets that his walls hid.

"I am a man of my word, Lena. And that has never been truer than when it comes to you."

***