The Fall of Darkness

Chapter I

Chapter I

AFTER MY RELATIONSHIP WITH Louis ended with a mature conversation over coffee on a rainy Dutch morning, I decided love was a demon. Thus, the only way to get rid of it was to exorcise it. I hadn’t left Anthony’s old house during the few weeks afterwards. I had instead indulged in consuming inhuman amounts of ice-cream and chocolate to get me through each day, supplementing with alcohol when needed. I turned off my phone, closed the door, refusing to let anyone in.

I tried to write down what had happened, hoping that seeing it in front of me would make it easier to figure out. I only ended up scribbling three names. Anthony, the first vampire shithead I’d met, who had tried really hard to make me fall for him. He’d initially wanted me as his pet, and then decided it would be a lot more fun to drain me, make my trueborn vampire friend, Hesrah, feed me her blood, and throw me through a portal to Ankhsis, the home realm of the original bloodsuckers, hoping I would make it to the other side. His actions had created a whole new kind of animal that would vamp out on Earth and Ankhsis alike. A being that would never fit in anywhere and who was a threat to everyone: my new self. I was stronger than all other vampires, those trueborn and those baseborn, thank God. It made it hard for them to try to control me or, worse, kill me.

The second name was Louis, the baseborn vampire I ended up falling for. And although I could have sworn he was it for me in the beginning, we’d crashed and burned so fast, it gave me whiplash. The signs had been there from the start. Or at least that was what I kept telling myself. After that final conversation, I knew for sure there was nothing else to blame, other than us not being right for each other. The worst part about this? Anthony had called it, right when Louis and I had decided to try to be together. Anthony had given us a year. Turned out he’d been too optimistic about our chances. We’d barely made it through six months.

And finally there was Seth. The trueborn I had developed feelings for. Yes, apparently, I had to fall in love with men from each species I knew of. Now that had been a strong connection right from the start! He’d fed me his blood, I’d tried to kill him, then hump him, then kill him again. And as I finally discovered Louis hadn’t in fact betrayed me and tried to sort out my feelings, Seth had rushed into my life on his cool bike and messed with my head. He promptly followed that with jumping the first trueborn female he could find. Okay, maybe she hadn’t been the first, but who he’d picked didn’t matter beyond it not being me.

I stared at the list, then deleted Anthony’s name. That had been settled long ago and I was his own private parole officer right now. My current vampire High Council job was keeping an eye on the baseborn bad boy and making sure he kept his nose clean. We were also sort of living together.

After the break up talk with Louis, I couldn’t think of any other place to go and ran back to Anthony’s place. After a day and a half of watching me wallow, Anthony had moved into the club he owned, converting the second floor into an office/living space sort of thing. I was so down, I was getting him depressed and Anthony had not been depressed for a single moment of his lengthy vampire life. So the house was still his, he had stuff here, but technically didn’t live with me.

So without Anthony, I was left with only two names. Two demons I had to exorcise.

I might repeat myself, but the absolute best thing about being a vampire woman, be it trueborn or baseborn or the ultimate freak that I was, is that you don’t look tired, you don’t get fat. Basically, you don’t look anything less than your absolute best. So after weeks of being covered in candy wrappers and pizza boxes, with the most elaborate Chinese sweet and sour sauce stains on your shirt, you get up, shower, eat something nourishing (blood would be the best option), put on a cute outfit and maybe some makeup, and you morph into something stunning.

Usually, after reaching the bottom of your desperation, there is a friend who comes to pick you up and force you into your shower. In my case, none of my friends could. Those from Romania were countries away, the human ones from Amsterdam had no idea I was still here. Anthony was too busy enjoying his longer leash, and Hesrah… Hesrah had tried but I’d lied about being fine and had sent her on her way to Anhubis.

In fact, it took the absence of company to pull me out of my depression. I’d settled in for another night in front of the TV, flicking through the empty channels looking for something, anything to occupy the time. The title screen for True Blood came up and I realised that, with my history, sitting here and wasting my evening on a vampire show when I had my own vampire crisis to sort out was a bad idea. I clicked the TV off and decided to make a stand.

I chose some very plain blue jeans, but they were comfortable and made my ass look good. I put on my bright blue pumps, added a marina-themed stripy shirt and a white, corporate looking jacket—it was the Netherlands, summer dresses were still out of the question on most days. I used a blue-silver translucent scarf as a makeshift tie and added some bracelets and long earrings to complete the outfit. I searched for my navy-blue purse and stuffed my wallet and phone into it, but I did not turn it on just yet.

I got into my car and thought of where to go. It was too early for Anthony’s club, so I went to the High Council’s mansion. Maybe Hesrah was on Earth. I could have used some girl time right about now.

The traffic was murder, so it took a while to get there. That hadn’t helped with my mood. I ran into Hesrah’s lover, Anhubis in the mansion’s parking lot. The head of the High Council, Anhubis had become one of my closest friends, despite our initial rocky start where I’d threatened to kill him. Now I couldn’t imagine a world without him. Silver lining, I thought, and smiled to myself.

“Thought you were drowning your sorrows in junk food and crappy movies,” he said, giving me his best smirk.

I stared at him, keeping my face neutral.

“You got bored, didn’t you?”

“Spot on.” I winked. “You get me, I’m so grateful for that.”

“So what now?” he asked, crossing his hands over his broad chest.

“I decided I had to come out of the house at some point. Face my demons and all that bullshit.”

“Wait, did you say demons? As in plural? Interesting.”

I frowned and stepped closer to him. “What’s interesting about having more than one demon?”

Anhubis rubbed his chin. “Hmm, let’s just say I’d like to know who else besides Louis you are trying to cast away.”

I paused for a second trying to gather my thoughts. Nice, Alexa! Way to keep your secrets to yourself.

“Ha, so there are more demons,” he said, laughing. And then it hit me, the one thing that gave me away was not the plural, but the fact that I didn’t have a dismissive, quick enough reaction. Caught with such a simple trick, I was clearly off my game.

“So, is it Anthony?”

As if! I kept my mouth shut though. Letting him believe whatever he wanted was far better than revealing anything more at this point. “Is Hesrah here?” Yes, distract him, that was my best play.

“No, she left about an hour ago. She had plans with her brother today.”

Probably getting to know his new girlfriend, I thought, and cringed on the inside. “Then I’ll go say a quick hello to Anukh and be on my way.”

“He’s in the library. Oh, I’m going to Ankhsis tomorrow. Should I give her a message from you?”

“Yeah, just ask her to call me when she gets back here.”

“Sure thing.” He waved and turned towards one of the cars in the lot.

I went inside to find Anukh, but ran into Louis instead. He was sitting in front of the fireplace in the big living room, sipping wine from an intricate antique glass.

He stiffened, his demeanor apprehensive the moment he saw me walking in. “Hi,” Louis said, shifting in his armchair. “You look great.”

“I didn’t know you were here. I wouldn’t have come.”

“Come on, Alexa, it doesn’t have to be like this. There is no reason why we can’t be adults about it.”

“Avoiding each other for a while is the adult way,” I said, half-shrugging. I didn’t know what he expected. We’d just broken up. Was I supposed to bottle it all up and act as if seeing him didn’t break my heart all over again?

“No, love, it’s not.” He smiled indulgently and sipped some wine.

Don’t cry. Don’t f*****g cry!

“Use that word again when addressing me and I’ll break your neck,” I muttered, perfectly calm and meaning every word. We both knew I would, he had crossed an invisible line all recently separated couples know very well. No matter how you still feel, you don’t use any form of the word ‘love.’

“I should go,” he said after a couple of drawn out seconds of brutal silence.

I could have stopped him and gone myself, but I didn’t see why I should bother. I turned my feral side on and tracked his moves through the mansion. Only when I knew for sure he’d driven away did I let the tears fall, remembering all the moments when he had called me love. Books and movies are not wrong when they assume vampires have an almost flawless memory of everything that ever happened to them.

I’d wiped off my tears by the time I entered the library. I talked to Anukh for a few minutes, but it took more effort than I’d imagined. As soon as I could get away from him, I stormed off to my car and drove away from the mansion, making a solemn promise to myself to call before showing up. Other than saving me the drive there to discover Hesrah was on Ankhsis, I’d also have some warning about running into Louis. I was so used to coming here whenever I pleased and running into friendly faces, I’d not yet adjusted to my new reality. Guess I’d have to now.

As I drove away, singing along to Metallica’s Enter Sandman, I pondered what to do next. I wanted to go home and crawl back into bed or curl up on the sofa and watch bad TV. I missed the mortal times when a beer was enough to drink myself to sleep if I was really sad. But I couldn’t hide away forever.

Something Dr. Spencer Reid, my Criminal Minds biggest crush, had said in one of the many episodes I’d binge watched came to mind. Starting over was more difficult than letting go of the past. It had to be done though. So I went downtown and shopped for shoes and bags and other comfort accessories, went to my favorite spa, and got ready for a hot night out.