The Fall of Darkness

PART I - EXORCISM

PART I - EXORCISM

I stare out the window, beyond the rain drops and the clouds and the puddles on the sidewalk. I try to sketch a portrait of you, scrap-booking it from snatched glimpses. Each light stroke, a memory of love, warmth, tenderness. Each shadow, a moment of doubt, silence, loneliness. I keep thinking if I complete the picture, adding all the details scattered among dusty recollections, I’ll finally understand. Grasp why our happy ending only lasted six months. Why we were too much. Why I was too little for our love story to be as immortal as we are. With a frustrated blink, I erase it all and start again, replacing black and white with vivid colors. But no matter how far back I go, how much detail I add, layer upon thick layer of mind-blowing realizations and tears and anger, I still can’t understand. How was it so easy for you to leave when I wasn’t even close to admitting defeat? It wasn’t meant to be, we were not right for each other, we met at the wrong time, we were too different, we were too alike, we did not love each other enough, we weren’t soul mates… All these clichés thrown in the air, just to say something that would justify it. They mean nothing. There is no explanation. It just is. A new ending, another failure, and my inability to start again.