Farfalla

10.

1:07 PM

Internalizing.

The way he pushed away his emotions and expressed only a stolid face. He was hard to understand and a mystery that couldn't be solved. It wasn't because he was unsolvable, it was because he guarded himself against being understood. He made it an impossible job to get close to him, he distanced himself from everyone.

He didn't indulge in getting into things from his past. He kept the same expression on his face, jaw clenched, eyebrows furrowed, and body tensed and ready for any situation. He was a weapon with nothing to lose.

In some ways, I could relate to having nothing to lose. I have no one in my life, for the exception of my father but I never got to see him. Our relationship wasn't a normal father-daughter relationship because of what my dad's job title was. While all the other little girls would dance with their dad's at their father-daughter dances I was being homeschooled in a different country. While most little girls my age were jumping into their father's arms when they came home, I was only hoping for a phone call every night.

I had nothing and at this point no one to lose. Yes, I had Louis but even I understood that what I had with Louis was most likely dissolved by now. I knew I wasn't coming back home and I didn't expect Louis to wait for a girl he could never have. I was the girl who had no one and belonged to no place or person. No matter how much it hurt it was the reality of things.

I keep asking and questioning myself what the point of all of this was. Why was someone else risking their own life to preserve mine? Ever since Harry brought this to my attention on the plane I never could let it go. My mind ran over this, repeating relentlessly again and against but still, my understanding is limited. Yes, I understand that my father loves me and wants nothing but a safe environment for me but, this wasn't realistic. I was putting others in danger in attempts to keep away from it.

"Security needs to be tighter since we don't know who our enemy is. At this point, we need to treat things as if everyone is the enemy." A man that had introduced himself as Niall spoke between Harry and himself.

I was leaned up against the door trying to listen in to what they were discussing. I hoped that I could get some answers to my questions instead of Harry's typical answer, "It's classified" or "don't worry about it".

"Do we have any more information on Ashby?" I heard Harry question Niall behind the door I was pressed up against.

Ashby, the assumed enemy from the way the name was brought up in conversation. Was he the one that took me from the airport?

"No, he's gone off the grid and he's proven hard to track. All we know is that he has quite a few organizations working for him." Niall informed Harry answering the questions he had. Harry knew more then I did but not much more from the way it sounded. "What we do know is the human trafficking mob that you ran into at the airport, the Black Smoke, has information on Mia. They know how valuable she's worth."

My stomach lodged into my throat hearing Niall and Harry's conversation about newly found information. Part of me wishes that I never heard this in the first place merely because it was only heightening my anxiety. I feared what the unknown held but then again I also feared knowing the truth of the situation. Why was I so valuable in the eyes of these organizations? I was not highly trained or above average intelligence, I was ordinary.

"God damn it!" I heard a frustrated sigh and pacing in the room coming from none other than Harry. His irritation was growing by the second with all this new information coming out.

Backing up from the door I went to look out the industrially sized widows revealing beautiful landscapes of Florence Italy. Everything looked so beautiful from this distance, everything so green and fresh.

Harry and I had a layover in Florence, tomorrow we would be on a plane to Venice like it was supposed to be. Our original destination had been Venice but with all the setbacks it had taken more time to actually get there. I knew it was no one's fault but I was becoming more tired day by day of traveling. I don't have a home and because of that, I wished we could stay in one place longer than two or three days.

Not before too long Niall and Harry emerged out of the closed bedroom door. The handle turning to reveal the blonde hair that belonged to the blue-eyed man who was in company with Harry. Harry followed behind him looking at me when I turned around to face them both, my back now to the window. I felt vulnerable once again with the both of them keeping an eye on me, the look they had in both their eyes reminded me of a tiger watching its prey.

"What do we do now?" I asked them both folding my arms and finding a seat on a black leather chair. I sat down letting the chair cushion me seeing Niall follow suit by sitting on the long couch just adjacent to the chair. He bent his elbows on his knees making him come in closer to me while I crossed my right leg over the other for comfort.

"We keep you safe, " Niall answered knowing that as soon as he responded with that I wasn't going to be satisfied with what little explanation that was. That didn't answer my question but rather only reassured me that I was going to be safe and didn't need to worry.

"I know that." I start looking into those crystal blue eyes getting a little more frustrated. "I mean what is next, where are we going? Why am I so valuable?" These questions were circulating around in my head and I knew right as I said these things I shouldn't have. By bringing up these points Niall and Harry would both know I was eavesdropping on them.

"You were listening to us?" Harry's jaw clenched and eyes locked to me with a glare that could kill. Part of me was relieved Niall was here to calm Harry if needed, I was going to go out on a limb and say Harry wouldn't be so aggressive with company around.

"I...ummm...." I stumbled on my words under Harry's pressure and eyes that added to the thick air production in the room.

"It doesn't matter. Look we aren't supposed to discuss matters like this with you, we are under orders. As for the plan of action, we will be staying here until further notice, Venice could be compromised and we don't want to risk anything." Niall explained to me more fully for me to understand the basics of the situation.

It all made sense why we weren't going to make the full trip to Venice. The pilot driving the plane had turned out to be one of them, an enemy. This meant that he knew where our original destination was, there was no way we were risking going to Venice now. The scary thing about all of this was, what Niall had said; we don't know who our enemies are.

"So we are staying here? Does my father know about any of this?" I asked bringing up the man who gave Harry and Niall this mission. I wondered if my father ever thought about me, I missed him and I was afraid. I used to have someone to hold to when I was afraid but now being in the place I was, no one was warm enough to hold onto. Harry was cold and would only push me away when I was afraid or in need of comfort.

The only time I had seen him being soft towards me was when I was supposed to be asleep. When he ran a thumb gently over my bruises on my arms from the drug injections. The way he told me that he wouldn't let me out of his sight when I told him I was afraid baffled me, baffled me in the fact that his tone was not his usual harsh husky sounding voice.

"We run our plans past him so he knows your location," Niall responded trailing his eyes down to my lap that exposed my hands that were bundled up into fists and anxiously fidgeting among each other.

"When can I talk to him?" I needed to hear a familiar voice. I needed him to tell me that everything would be alright, that despite all the danger going on around me that it would soon pass. In all honesty, I needed a pep talk, I needed reassurance from my father. The only time I saw Harry was kind to me was that night I was doped up on drugs; maybe that was the only reason he was nice to me in the first place.

"Contact will be minimal between us but next time he calls I will make sure you get to speak to him." Niall smiled understanding all the stress this entire situation was causing me. Anyone thrown into this type of life would find it extremely stressful and a strain on your emotions. Emotionally I was strained and physically I was exhausted this was probably due to the drugs that broke me down a few days ago.

"Does he ever ask about me?" I asked Niall one last question not wanting to annoy Harry nor Niall with my endless questions. I felt like I was being a three-year-old, asking all types of questions to the adult at hand.

Niall planted a smile on his lips making me feel more comfortable before saying, "Every day."

-May 17, 2016