TANGLED WITH THE CARVERS

CHAPTER 4*ABA*

||*NADIA*||

A sigh escapes me as I raise my eyes to look at Zara. “Seducing him would mean I am ready to have penetrative s*x with him.” I tell Zara.

She shrugs. “Well, you guys do everything else already, and you’ve been together for three years; that guy has been patient with you for three years, Dia. I think it’s time to give him your virginity. I mean, I wouldn’t exactly call your slutty ass a virgin since you do every se.xual thing with him except for penetrative s*x, but to each their own.” Zara tries to reason with me, and I sigh.

“I.. honestly I’ve tried to get to that point with him. I’ve tried to go all the way with him a few times but it just doesn’t feel right.” My shoulder slouch in defeat as I think about all the disappointed look on Deion’s face whenever I cut short our make-out session because I cannot just bring myself to give him that part of me.

“Nadia, you’re twenty-five, come on, you need to get over it and get done with it. I know you guys broke up because of this. That’s the reason for all the breaks you’ve both had in your relationship. If you don’t want to lose him forever, you need to let go, completely, unless you don’t love him that much.”

“You know I care about him, but that’s beside the point. I care about Deion with all my heart, but I don’t just feel that chemistry with him. I don’t feel that zing with him when we make out, or when he touches me, that spark is not just there, and I honestly cannot imagine myself having s*x with someone when I don’t feel the connection with them. When you like someone, their touch should be electrifying, everything about them should set your soul on fire. Just the touch of having their hands on your body should already make you tremble and make you yearn for more, but I don’t feel that with Deion, and it doesn’t make sense, because I know I want to feel that way with him, and I like him, and I thought over time I’ll feel that Zing, that spark, but it’s been three years, and it’s just. God I really don’t like hurting him, Zara, I don’t.”

Zara scoots over to my side on the couch, slowly patting my back, “I know babe, I know. But you really need to let it go if you want Deion back. I mean, I know love isn’t just about s*x, but you have to consider that, for some people, s*x is a huge deal and it tags along with love. He’s stayed for three years even though you keep denying him, maybe it’s time to just give in. Hmm.” She mumbles in her most comforting voice, and I slowly nod.

“I guess, do I have a choice? I want him back, I miss my man.” I mutter, pursing my lips in a pout.

“Yeah, you’re miserable as it is. Let me ask one question though.”

I nod for her to go ahead.

“When you kissed Xander, did you feel the Zing?” I take a minute to think back to last night. Did I feel anything?

“It felt good, but honestly, my mind was blank for a minute, and then all my thoughts were a mess so I didn’t exactly focus on that, so I can’t tell for sure.”

“Do you want to, maybe explore that?” Zara asks tentatively.

“Explore what?” Raising my brows quizzesically at her, because she better not be asking what I think she’s asking.

“You know, the thing with Xander,” Zara shrugs. “Maybe, there might be something there. You won’t know unless you explore it.”

“There is no 'thing' with Xander.” I grit out.

“Stop giving me that look. I haven’t said anything bad, just a suggestion. Won’t you want to be with Xander if you feel the Zing with him?”

I roll my eyes at her question.

“I am not going to start thinking about that, and the kiss with Xander won’t happen again. I’ll do anything to have Deion back, I just need to suck it up, and find the courage to have penetrative s*x with him.” I grumble, ignoring Zara as she rolls her eyes at me.

“And you also need to stop mixing fantasy with reality. You’ve read too many romance books, and all that werewolf, paranormal nonsense that you read. You think things work like that in the real world. There’s nothing like having a mate in the real world, a blood bond, soulmate or whatever nonsense you read in those books. This is the real world Nadia, let go of your fantasies.” She pinch my arm, ignoring my death glare.

“How dare you, some of those things are real, alright. It happens if you meet the right person.”

“Life is not a fairy tale, Dia, get over it. Let’s focus on your seduction game.”

}~~~~~~~~{

“How was the interview?” I let out a breath at Dad’s question, untying the scarf I had worn with my outfit today for the interview for the Carvers.

“I did my best and, in my opinion, it went pretty well.”

“But? The way you phrase it, that means there’s a ‘but’.” Of course, Dad would ask, he knows me too well and it would’ve been weird if he didn’t catch the insecurity in my voice. Despite being miles away from me right now, he always noticed my mood just from my voice whenever we talked on the phone.

“I just don’t want to get my hopes high Dad.” Sighing slowly, I twirl the scarf around my finger before throwing it beside me on the mattress. “You know Carver isn’t just any company, and they don’t just hire anybody. If Deion hadn’t intervened, my application letter probably wouldn’t have made it to their list in the first place, and now that Deion and I aren’t together….”

I tried to ignore the lump growing in my throat at the mention of Deion’s name.

“With or without Deion, Nadia, you have the skill, work experience and educational qualifications that prove you’re capable of working for the Carver’s. If they cannot see all the excellence you have to offer, then it’s their loss. But I trust and know that you aced the interview and they won’t want to miss out on the opportunity to have someone like you working for them. You’ve had years of experience working for our family company. Don’t second guess yourself, my dear.” Dad encouraged, like he always does.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if they think I’m worth a shot. I mean my resume was detailed, and I answered all their questions at the interview. They even went as far as asking me if I know the history behind the ‘Carvers Group’ legacy, and why they’re one of the largest brands/businesses out there.”

“And what was your answer?” Dad asked.

I could feel him smirking from here even though I can’t see him. He knows my head is an encyclopedia of information when it comes to the Carvers, thanks to mom and also my personal interest in the company when I realized I really wanted to venture into the business world, and The Carvers Group was a huge inspiration for me. Everything about them and their brand intrigued me, long before I even met Xander and Deion.

“You know me, Aba, that was the easiest thing they could’ve asked. I think I almost drowned the interviewers with all the information I vomited, and I saw the shock on their faces when I kept talking about the history of Sir Carver and how he started the company.” Dad’s laughter echoed through the phone speaker, causing me to also chuckle because that had been one moment throughout the interview where I didn’t feel like throwing up my intestine.

“That’s my daughter. Don’t worry Nadia, they’ll hire you… But will you be okay?”

“What do you mean?” Standing up from my bed, supporting my phone against my ear with my shoulder, and I walked over to my closet.

Pulling down the zipper of my skirt, I shimmied my legs out of it, before moving my hands to undo the buttons of the sky-blue shirt I had on.

“Won’t you be working with Deion?”

“Yeah, he wanted me to be his Personal Assistant. I don’t know if they’ll give me that position still, but Zara thinks this is a good opportunity to work things out with him and get back together.”

Dad’s sigh had me wincing, because I know he's worried about me. He isn’t a stranger to how worried I am over my break with Deion, seeing how it seems to be stretching out longer than before. A three-month break was unusual for us, and I can’t help but worry that he is taking it more seriously than I thought.

“Do you want to get back together with him? Forget about your mom and the pressure she’s putting on you about marriage and the benefits of being in-laws with The Carvers. Do you want to get back together with Deion? Are you ready to give him what he wants?”

The softness in Dad’s voice had me slumping against the door of my closet. Of course he’d go and ask the question like that. He knows almost everything about me and Deion. Right from when I can remember, it has always been easier to talk to Aba. He always listened without judging me, without yelling or nagging me. Even when I make mistakes, he’ll point out my mistakes, reprimand me for the extreme ones, but never make me feel like the worst person on earth. He understands so many things about me, even when I don’t speak, all he needs is one look at me, and he will know if something is wrong with me.

When my issues with Deion and the topic of penetrative s*x started, Dad was the first person I cried to, because I knew he’d understand and he’d never advise me to do things I didn’t want to do. As for mom, she doesn’t really want to know. Whenever Deion and I have our issues, she will nag me about how I’m throwing a good man away, and how I need to get my s.h.i.t together and win him back. She also never fails to remind me of the importance of having The Carvers in our circle, as our in-laws, how getting married to Deion will help the family’s company, and how it will put her and Dad in the circle of potential business partners. For mom, ever since she found out about my relationship with Deion, I became her ticket to finally achieving the dream she has for the company.

“I care about him, Aba, I just… I honestly wish it was easier, you know… Everything else with him feels perfect. I know he is perfect for me, like mom said; he would make a fine husband, but I wish there was more. I want to feel it, Aba. That Zing of pleasure, the Zing of electricity you always told me about when I was a teenager. I wish I could feel it with him, the way you felt it with Emaye. Remember, the first time you met mom…”

I heard Dad’s giggle, “It was on the second day of the Timket festival. She was visiting Adwa with her family. My parents had invited them over. I had been the one to open the door and somehow she stumbled and I caught her by the arm and we had both gasped so loudly it shocked everyone. She felt it, and I did too. The Zing of electricity had zapped through my soul, and I didn’t need any prophet to tell me that your mother was my wife. I knew at that moment that I would marry her. Your mom would always say the Lord had pushed her to stumble into my arms.”

Warmth spread through my body at the sound of Dad’s soft laughter. My parents were both born and raised in Ethiopia. Timket is a three-day annual festival that honors the baptism of Jesus Christ. Dad always enjoyed telling me stories of the festivals he celebrated with his family in Ethiopia, but his favorite to tell was the one where he met mom for the first time.

As a foreigner in the US, he and my mom had always been worried about me while growing up. I might be American by birth, but I was still African, Ethiopian and my parents worried a lot. Most especially dad, and as a teenager he told me these stories as a way to encourage me to wait for the right person. To not get manipulated by hormonal teenage boys. I loved listening to him, no matter how many times he recounted the story, each time he always felt new, filled my heart with love and a need for something similar. He and mom can’t be any more opposite when it comes to their personalities, but somehow they just complete each other, perfect for each other and I wanted that.

“Perhaps I shouldn’t have filled your head with those stories, causing you to have these expectations, hindering you from wanting things with the man you love. I’m sorry Nadia…”

I cut him off, “No, no Aba, don't do that.” A heavy sigh lodges itself in my throat, “You did nothing wrong Aba, none of this is your fault, and there’s nothing wrong with the fact that I want that special someone. I read books too, Aba, even before you began telling me stories about how you met mom. I read fantasy books, and I always thought something like that only happened in books, but you taught me otherwise. And maybe I’ll never feel it with Deion, but the thought that there’s a chance of that special someone for me out there is enough for me. I care about Deion, and I’ll make it work with him, Zing or no Zing, so don’t go blaming yourself.”

“I just want you to be happy, geta (dear), and I want you to live your life without regrets.”

“I am happy Aba, Deion makes me happy, and I think it’s only fair if I make him happy, but first I have to win him back.” I mumbled the last part while chuckling, hoping that would lessen the heat of the discussion and also lift the weight of Dad’s shoulder.

“He won’t be able to resist you once he sees you. My daughter is the most beautiful lady in all of America, so I know you’ll charm your way back into his heart.” I chortle at Dad’s words, he’s definitely the only one that thinks I’m the most beautiful woman in America.

“You know how to make my head swell Aba…” The faint sound of a knock at the door had me stopping mid-sentence, and I pushed away from my closet door to walk to my bedroom door.

“Aba, can I call you back? I think there’s someone at the door.” I walk back to my room, grabbing my pajamas from where I dumped them this morning on the bed and I slip it on.

“Alright princess, talk to you later and take care of yourself.”

“I will. Take care of yourself too, and say hi to mom for me.” We exchanged ‘I love you’s’ and I dropped the call.

Placing my phone on the bedside drawer before making way out of my bedroom and down the hallway that leads to my living room.

Another rapture of knocks at the door floats into the living room. I shake my head, wondering who the impatient f.u.cker was as I make my way to the door. Zara has a key so there is no reason for her to knock, and I don’t remember inviting anyone over.

I grab the door knob, pull it open and I come face to face with the one person I don’t wanna see.

“I thought I told you to stay away from me, Xander!” I bite out, scowling at the sexy as f.u.c.k elder brother of my boyfriend that I kissed two nights ago.

My as.shole friend, that won’t stop being a pain in my ass.