TANGLED WITH THE CARVERS

CHAPTER 6*BEING A FRIEND*

||*XANDER*||

Nadia appears to be lost in thought, so my question goes unanswered in the space between us.

My gaze returns to Nadia as she clamps her teeth down on her bottom lip, and I can not help but worry that she will bruise her lips if she bites too hard.

"Dia, do you want me to go back?" I ask a second time, but my question bounces back and forth between us. I doubt she can hear me at all.

I shift back into drive as the traffic slows. There is a turn about five minutes ahead of us, so I can still turn around and take her home. I despise seeing her this way: befuddled, nervous, and anxious.

I focus on the road for a few moments as the cars ahead of me begin to move, and when they come to a stop, I catch another quick glimpse of Nadia, who is gripping her thighs through her jeans so tightly that it must hurt. Nadia nervously bounces her right leg, chewing on her bottom lips with trepidation

It is unusual to see her like this, and on those rare occasions when she is, it always worries me.

Over the past seven years of our friendship, it has been quite rare to see her like this. Her confidence and outspoken personality were two of the things that had me drawn to her from the very first time we met.

Well, she believes it’s the first time we met, but I saw her a few times around campus then, and I had many chances to approach her, but I didn’t. She caught my attention from the very first day I saw her strutting through the department hallway with her best friend Zara, shoulders high, chatting and laughing.

The sound of her laughter had been the reason why I turned that day. Some might say it was loud, but I loved how unrestrained she sounded, not caring about being a newbie at Uni or people making fun of her. The freedom in the sound of her laughter was loud and contagious, something I didn’t think I possessed then, and it slowly made me gravitate towards her.

I considered approaching her to strike up a conversation; I wanted to get to know her, to sit and talk with her for hours. To inquire as to how she manages to make life appear so simple. And each time I lectured myself, I took another step back because I knew if I had been the first to approach her, it would have been for all the wrong reasons. So I stood back and watched, slowly letting this feeling within me simmer until the day we met in that cafe.

One look at her that day reveals the intensity with which she stared at me so intently that she nearly walked into the cafe's door. I took advantage of the situation and approached her because it felt right. I had seen her looking, and she had almost been hurt because of me. It was only natural to approach her.

I saw it coming when she confessed a month later. Our friendship began when I escorted her out of the cafe. We exchanged phone numbers and quickly became reading buddies. Despite the fact that we were in different years, she introduced Zara to me; however, because Zara was in a different faculty, Nadia and I spent the majority of our time together. And I noticed the way she looked at me over the weeks—the way she would check me out when she thought I was not looking.

I have never wanted someone so badly, but I could not have her. She was only eighteen years old and a freshman at UNI at the time. I was still trying to recover from a messy breakup that had left me shattered, and I only did casual hookups to distract myself from thoughts of killing my ex for what she had done to me. Nadia was the only bright spot in my life at the time, a rainbow in the midst of my dark days, and her laughter represented the freedom I yearned for in my own life. Dating her would have destroyed us— would have destroyed the only thing good in my life.

I would have ended up being a huge distraction, would have played with her, and then tossed her aside because, despite the things I felt strongly for her, I was not in the right state of mind to love, and I was not ready to give anyone that power over me again. At least not at that time; I would have ended up ruining her, which is why I told her it was better if we stayed friends; I valued her and our friendship more.

So seeing her all worked up and seeing how badly her relationship with my younger brother affects her makes me regret turning her down at the time. Perhaps if I had expressed my feelings to her and told her about my fears, we could have taken things slowly and worked things out.

It hurts me to see her like this: "Crumpet?" I reach out to place my hand over the hand she has gripping her thighs.

Nadia jerks and blinks quickly as she turns to face me, and I ask again. "Should I drive you home?" She blinks once more, still chewing on her bottom lips.

"Crumpet, baby..." I pull her hand away from her thighs, holding her tight to ground her and hopefully help her pull away from whatever thoughts are running through her mind. "You are having a nervous breakdown; there is a turn just three minutes ahead." If you do not feel well enough to go, I can make a U-turn and take you back home."

She shakes her head and looks away from me. She sighs a few seconds later. "It is okay; we cannot just turn around because he is there." I shake my head as Nadia responds.

"No, we can always turn back if you are not fit to continue. We can always go back, but only if that is what you want. So, if you know you do not want to see him with his new fling, simply say the words, and I will turn around, drive you back home, order your favourite ice cream, and we will eat several cups while watching movies."

She returns her gaze to me for a brief moment before turning away to gaze out the window. Because of the thinning traffic, I did not have to concentrate solely on the road; even though we are still stuck, we are moving.

"It is just that he has never done anything like this before. Bringing his fling to meet the squad is out of character for him, and our breaks have never been this long. I just—I can not help but wonder if he is seriously interested in this person; would not that be the only reason he is deciding to introduce her to the group?" Nadia lets out a sigh.

"Alternatively, he could be doing this to make you jealous."

“Jealous?” She scoffs, “Is it not enough that I have to see him with her on every media blog? Introducing her to the squad goes beyond trying to make me jealous. It's like he is trying to prove a point."

"Once again, he could just be trying to make you jealous. Dia, you know Deion; he enjoys being the centre of attention; he enjoys being the most important person in the room. Is he not the one who always returns to even things out between you two, based on what I have seen over the years?" I ask her, and she nods cautiously.

"Yes, primarily because he is always the one who requests a break, and then he starts flaunting his flings like handbags." He does not come running back until I text him." She responds.

I swallow down the other comments I want to make about their relationship, as difficult as it may seem. It has always been something I find quite toxic: Deion getting involved with different girls every time he has an issue with Nadia, and Nadia just taking him back without complaining the moment he crawls. I am not sure how they have lasted this long, and as much as I would like to point out a few things to my friend, I know this is not the time.

"Perhaps he is doing this because he wants you to be the one crawling back to him this time. He wants to demonstrate that he can always go somewhere else or do someone else, possibly to see if you truly love him. I may not know why you guys split up, but if he is acting this way, it could be because he wants you to beg this time and give in to whatever he wants. Deion is exactly that way.''

"If he wants that, why is he not responding to my texts? I can not even call him because I believe he has blocked me or something."

"Well, we both know Deion is a master of tantrums." And I believe he is just playing hard to get right now, most likely to make you feel bad, or perhaps he wants you to be desperate for him so that when you ask to be together again, he will make demands." I keep the rest of the sentence to myself as I shrug.

I don’t want you to go back to him. I do not want you two to work things out; I want you all to myself, and I always have, but that brat came and stole you from me before I could take my chance, and now he can not even treat you right.

I wanted to say those things to her, but I know I shouldn't, especially now that she appears distressed. Regardless of my feelings, she is my friend and my best friend, and I always prioritise her over everything else. Maybe that is what I am doing wrong—being a friend when I should be shooting my shot—but my friend needs me right now, and that is exactly what I am doing: being there for her, holding her hand like a good friend would, and being a voice of reason for her.

Others may have taken advantage of this opportunity to say what I am holding back on. Now, when her walls are fraying and she is questioning things with Deion, would be the ideal time to tell her those words. With a little prodding, I might finally be able to knock over her walls, but I can't, no matter how good the opportunity. Instead, I choose to be her friend, the one who tells her everything is alright and that she can do anything because she’s amazing just like that.

For another minute, Nadia appears to be lost in thought, and the silence in the car grows longer. Without saying anything, I gently rub my palm over her knuckles, reassuring her that I am here and that everything will be fine.

"He knows bringing her will make me uncomfortable; even though I will pretend I am fine, sitting there with her by his side will not be a walk in the park." Nadia mumbles.

"Well, it's a relief that I'll be there to support you, and you won't be alone. You can always ignore them and talk to me instead. I am your best friend for a reason; we can act as if he is not present." Nadia turns to face me, as I suggest.

"To be honest, I do not think I will be completely comfortable, but I can not just lie down and let him roll me over whenever he wants. Bringing her to a gathering of my friends is disrespectful, even if he wants to get back together, wants me to beg, and is playing hard to get." Her brow furrows as a frown forms on her face, and she shakes her head. "I am not going to let him win this one."

"That is the spirit right there. Just try not to think about him; you have me. We will walk in, and you will own the place and have a good time like you always do." Nadia nods in response to my words of encouragement.

I watch with delight as her lips slowly stretch into a warm smile. "I could not have asked for a better friend; you are the best, Xander." I bring her hand to my lips as she beams.

"And that is why you put up with my nonsense because you know I am a great friend." I wink at her and smile as she settles for a soft laugh.

"Of course, I am the only one willing to put up with your annoying ass, but no matter how annoying you get, you are still the best. You are a good friend, Xander, one I value and do not want to lose."

I offer her a sweet smile, even though her words make my stomach turn sour. I don’t want to be just friends; I want to be more than friends, but once again, I am stuck being friend-zoned beyond the normal level of friend-zoning.

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Hello everyone, thank you for adding this book to your library. Welcome to the rollercoaster love life of Nadia, this is going to be a long messy ride. To all my current lilies, hi, and to the new readers that are just joining us, or reading Wixxard's book for the first time, feel free to leave a comment and tell me what you think about each chapter. You can join us on my faceb0*k GROUP for Lilies, @Lily-Star Universe, you can also follow my personal acc @Author PW Cassydoll on F.b and on IG @Author_PW. I will be posting the character muse for every character in this book on the F.B group, so if you're curious to know what Deion, Xander, Nadia, Zara and future characters look like, join the group. You can also ask me any question of your choice, or shoot me a DM. To read more of my books, just visit my Author profile here on dreame. THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN.