Forever Mine

Chapter four

Felix

“Come on Buck.” I groaned as I pulled him out of his stall. Damn horse. I’m the only one he will listen to and he gives everyone else hell and puts up one hell of a fight, “You need to get out and get some exercise. Come on.”

He shook his head and huffed, telling me basically to leave him alone. We have matching attitudes, which is why we get along so damn well. I got him as a graduation gift from my mom when I found out I was finally eligible to graduate. High school was rough, as was almost everything else in my life. I struggled to the point where I almost dropped out, but I made a promise to my grandfather on his death bed that I would do what he never got to do, get a high school diploma and well, Ollie was a huge part of it. He died when I was sixteen and it was that day I was determined to try my best, no matter how hard it was, and then follow in his footsteps and join the Marines.

Buck finally listened and came with me willingly to the side where I saddled him up, hopped on him and got him out. Once he started running, he knew exactly where to go. We raced to the other end of the field and into the trees, following the path we rode many times. He didn’t miss a beat. He read my mind and I read his, two peas in a freaken pod.

My veins on my arm bulged as I gripped the reins tighter, kicking him to make him go a bit faster, his full speed. It was one of the only things that helped clear my mind of everything going on. Riding with empty thoughts heals the wounded soul. I try to get out here as much as I can to get him the exercise he needs, but it’s hard. It was even worse when I was deployed.

In his stall was my blanket and every time I came home, mom would wash it so I could sleep with it just so it had my scent for him. It was one of the only things that kept him calm and somewhat listen to everyone else. This horse was more like a damn dog than anything else.

He slowed down to the edge of the property line and started to graze on the grass that he loves so much, “It’s good to be home Buck.” I said as I patted his neck and slid off. I took a few steps and sat on a giant rock that had flattened out over the years. I leaned back and felt the familiar engraving etched into the stone. OR and FS forever

Ollie and I were riding our horses through the fields, weaving in and out of the forest, having a blast. We have done this so many times, but something about today felt different. It felt like things were going to change and for the better. It was one of the last days of summer before our senior year of high school. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs throughout the years but we both knew it was bound to happen with our parents being close friends.

I disliked her for the longest time. It wasn’t until two years ago that we were at our friend's pool party when I really noticed her for the first time. The guys and I were playing volleyball in the pool having a blast when the girls finally came out.

“So, what’s going on with you and Ramone?” one of the guys asked as he hit the ball over the net.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I rolled my eyes.

“Dude, anyone can see it. She’s totally into you and she’s kind of cute.” Another one said. I grunted and rolled my eyes but something inside me got pissed off at the thought of any other guy looking at her.

“Not my type, man. She’s always wearing those bagging shirts and jeans. For all we know, she’s all guy under there.” Total lie.

“Maybe she’s just hiding because that’s what she’s used to. My sister told me that sometimes when girls go through puberty they like to hide their bodies because they’re embarrassed or some crap like that.”

“Whatever. Ollie has always been the girl next door that I can’t stand.” I rolled my eyes.

“Then why is she always at your place with you?” He grinned.

“She’s fuckin’ tutoring me man. I gotta pass these classes or I’m screwed.” I sighed and as soon as I looked up, the back door that was facing me opened and out came the girls.

Each and everyone was wearing their bikini’s but it wasn’t them who took my breath away. When Ollie walked out wearing the dark red and black bikini, showing off the curves I never knew she had as she tried to hide them with her hand, I froze.

I tried to shake her off. I can’t think of her like that. Her brother is into my sister, this would be so wrong. But I couldn’t control myself. My d**k went half chub just at the sight of her and then the fuckin’ ball hit me in the face, knocking me back into the water.

Talk about a different kind of wet dream.

I regained my composure and that hit in the face was what I needed.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” Craig asked as he came over on his horse, snapping me out of my thoughts, “You haven’t been to this place since right before you left for basic.”

He’s a skinny but yet toned kind of guy, and extremely tall, pushing six foot seven. Craig and I have always been pretty close, since we’re only a couple of years apart. For the longest time after the incidents, we didn’t talk because of what happened with my sister, but I knew it wasn’t his fault. I had no one to blame but myself. And then there was the issue with Ollie and I and that put a bigger rift between us. It wasn’t until I graduated basic when we really patched things up.

My dad didn't care about the past between us. He could still sense tension and told him and I if we wanted this s**t solved, use our fists. I refused. He took one look at me and shook his head no and since then, after a long heart to heart, we’ve been close. He’s my other brother.

“Just…thinking.” I sighed as he came over and sat next to me. He looked down at where my hand was and smirked.

“You two done playing this game yet?” he c****d his eyebrow at me and gave me that look that said to not bullshit him.

“I am. I’ve been done since I came home and retired, hell, even before that.” I admitted while I rolled my eyes at the situation I’m in, “But she’s dating this cop and is showing somewhat no interest in me unless she’s drunk…so...”

“Monroe.” I nodded, “Yeah, don’t like his ass. I tried talking to her about it but she just said she didn’t want to talk about it. I dropped it after she threatened to cut me with a scalpel.”

“Something about him just doesn’t feel right.” I grunted, “I just…”

“Jealous?” he smirked.

“Insanely. Just knowing that he’s at her place every night is just…enough to push me over the edge. But that doesn’t change the fact that something about that guy is just…wrong.”

“Have you guys talked about what happened before you left for basic?” he asked as he laid back on the rock with his hands behind his head, crossing his legs.

I shook my head, “I go to open my mouth about it and I lose the words. Every time I’m home, I make it a point to see her at least once to talk and hopefully push forward, because at the end of the day, I miss my best friend, but every time we go to talk, we end up fighting and then…”

“End up in bed?” I groaned as I threw my head back, “You don’t think I know? I wasn’t born yesterday. As much as I hate that you two are still fuckin’ around, at least it’s with you. At this point, I’m just waiting for her to snap and try to fix things with you. We all know she still loves you. I just don’t get she’s like this.”

“I just…”

“Grow some balls and talk to her. And I actually mean talk…calmly. Even if she’s screaming at you, you remain calm and composed. That’s the only way it’s going to work.” He shrugged and got up off the rock.

“Thanks.”

He clapped my shoulder, “Anytime short stuff.” He laughed, “It was always supposed to be you two. Your sister even knew and if she were here, she would be kicking your ass right now.” He sighed, “Just…don’t give up on her, not yet.”

“I can’t even if I wanted to. Trust me, I’ve tried. I haven’t even…just…trust me.”

“And that my guy is how you know it’s supposed to be the real thing.” He turned and started to make his way back to this horse.

“Hey Craig.” He looked back at me, “Did ya’ll fix that snake issue?” he gave me the most confused look.

“What snake problem?”

“Ollie said she hurt herself when she fell off Lily because she got spooked by a snake in the pasture.”

He furrowed his brow, “Dad never said anything about no snake problem. As far as I know, we don’t have one. Haven’t in a few years, but I’ll look into it.”

I nodded my head, furrowing my brows, my suspicions become more true and I’m not liking it at all. “Thanks, I appreciate it. Keep me updated.”

He turned his back and went back to his horse and before he hopped back on he said, “Tell me, this guy, Monroe…do we like him?”

“Archer says he’s a good cop. He’s strong and dedicated. But something isn’t right. When he’s around, he’s always touching her like he has to, like he’s afraid she’s going to wander or something. He follows her like a puppy and is always there. He orders for her and speaks for her like he owns her or he’s the boss and when she’s with him, it’s like she shuts down. She’s not herself and hasn’t been since the first day and we all see it. When she’s away from him, she’s more herself, but not quite. But Craig…there are bruises…”

“Excuse me…what the hell did you say?” he snapped his head at me and glared, “What fuckin’ bruises?”

“I don’t know what they’re from. They aren’t in the shape of hands or fingertips or anything. The literally look like she’s falling and hurting herself, but there’s more than before…and when someone mentions it, she always has an excuse like she fell off Lily because Lily got scared of a snake, or she ran into a table because she’s clumsy.”

“We can’t do anything until we have proof.” He groaned, “But let me catch him laying a finger on her…”

“I know. I can’t afford to beat his ass and go to jail because of a hunch, even though my hunches are pretty fuckin’ spot on. But I can’t shake it. Do you think you can talk to her?”

“Got it my guy.” He nodded his head and we went silent for a bit, “You know, Sam would be proud of you.” He looked up to the sky with a smile, “You know I would do anything for what happened to her to happen to me, right?”

“And she would kick your ass for saying that.” I sighed, “It was my fault anyway.”

“Stop. The accident was not your fault.”

“If I didn’t…”

“She was on her way in that direction to go to the store anyway. She still would have left. She would have gone down that same road to come home, so stop it.” I nodded my head and he got on his horse, “She would be proud but she would be kicking both your asses for not fixing your relationship. And with Ollie? She loves you…you know that, right?”

“Does she? Because if she does, then why is she with him?”

He shrugged, “And that’s what you need to figure out. Gotta run and talk to Pops about that snake issue.” And with a final nod of his head, he kicked his horse and ran back off to his house and I still felt like a part of me was missing.

It literally was.

With Sam being gone, I don’t have her to talk to about Ollie.

I looked up at the sky as a single tear ran down my cheek, “What am I supposed to do Sam? How am I supposed to fix this when she can’t even look at me? f**k, even when we had s*x she couldn’t look me in the eyes…” I sighed out as a slight breeze engulfed me, making me shiver.

I shook my head and went over to Buck and started to make my way back to the stalls. Taking off the saddle and brushing him out, all I could think about were the memories from this place.

“Felix!” she yelled at me as she came through the doors of the barn. I just walked out of the stall after putting down some hay for Buck. I looked at her, confused, “Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I shrugged, “Are you done yelling at me? I need you to go back to Ethan. He’s been blowing up my phone and it’s pissing me off.”

“No! Not until you tell me why you did what you did.” She stomped her foot. It was her sixteenth birthday and we’ve been playing this back and forth. She told me she liked me and when I kissed for the first time, she ran off like it was the worst thing to ever happen to her. I tried to call her and text her but she never answered me, so I said f**k it, I’ll corner her and talk to her at school. Then I see her talking to Ethan, the jackass who said she looked like a boy last year, and he’s asking her to the freaken junior prom. She looked so happy when he asked.

I had this whole thing planned. I had string fairy lights set up on the loft above the horses along with a basket full of her favorite drinks and snacks. My lap top was ready with one of her most favorite movies, A walk to remember, and I had a plan to ask her right when the guy in the movie had the chick straddle the state line.

I might have watched the movie a couple of times to find the perfect moment.

But I was an ass and when Ethan came into the locker room, I basically threatened him about Ollie and he knew I liked her, hell, I fuckin’ loved her at that point. I’ve known her my entire fuckin’ life and we have gotten so close through our ups and downs. So, we got into this huge fight and I gave him two black eyes.

I’m suspended for two weeks and can’t go to prom but it was well worth it.

“And what did I do, Ollie?” I asked, as she glared at me.

“You punched Ethan and threatened him and now he doesn’t want to go to prom together!”

I shrugged, “That sucks.”

“Why?”

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?” I turned and started to raise my voice. She just stood there with her arms crossed, waiting. “I did it because I was going to ask you! I did it because of all the time we spent together! I did it because you helped me be eligible for graduation and didn’t give up on me. I did it because you told me you liked me and I kissed you. I did it because I love you Ollie! Damn it!” I screamed as my hands went to my hair as I sat on a bundle of hay, “I don’t know when it happened. I’ve known you my entire life. We grew up together. I hated you when we were younger but something happened…I…I can’t think about you going to prom with anyone else. I can’t think about you with someone else. I can’t…because I want you. I love you.”

“You don’t love me,” she whispered, “You can’t love me.”

“And why’s that because my heart already does. Honestly, I think I’ve known it for a long time.”

“You don’t know what love is…”

“And who says I don’t? Because when I look at you…” I whispered and looked right at her, “My chest hurts and my stomach feels like there are butterflies flying around. I can’t wait to see you every day. I can’t go riding without you. I can’t wait for us to spend time together. I want to kiss you and hold you. I want to go out on dates and show you off. I want us and the idea of you being with someone else kills me on the inside. I ache for you Ol. It’s like…I need you. So, if that’s not love, then I don’t know is.”

“You have your whole future ahead of you.” She whispered as she walked over to me. She fell to her knees and grabbed my hands and held them as she spoke, “You were thinking of following in your grandpa’s footsteps and going into the Marines. I’m afraid if we start something you might change your mind and resent me or be too distracted and get hurt. You want the Marines and I want to go to medical school.”

“The Marines isn’t set in stone, Ol. I can always go to school with you.”

She shook her head, “I can’t let you do that.” She whispered and cupped my face, “I can’t let you give up your dream because it would kill me.”

“Then…can we at least enjoy this time together? Enjoy me and you and let me prove to you how much I love you. I don’t expect you to say it back, not anytime soon, not ever but I just…”

“Okay.” She whispered with a smile, “And to be honest, I’ve loved you since forever…it was about time you realized it...”

I was snapped out of my daydream by my phone blowing up. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled it out and saw Aiden calling. Cursing to myself because now I was fuckin’ late, I picked up the phone and started to make my way to my car after putting Buck in his stall with a couple of extra apples and carrots.

“I know I know I’m sorry. I’m on my way.”

“You better be. I leave in the morning. How long are you going to be?”

“Give me five minutes. I’m already on my way.” I hung the phone up and made my way to Art and Ava’s house waiting for an exciting night with my friends and say bye to one of the best guys I knew. I’m still fuckin’ pissed that he’s leaving without me.

As I pulled up to the house I felt like I wanted to just turn around and go back to my and Aiden’s place. Cars beyond cars were there, but that's not what bothered me. It was the fact that his fuckin’ police cruiser was parked in the driveway.

I got out of my jeep and ignored the cruiser until I saw something move in the corner of my eye. He was in the car and Ollie was in the passenger seat and they looked like they were in a heated discussion. It looked like she was trying to pull away but she couldn’t and I saw his arms tense. As I got closer, you could hear the mumbled voices. He was trying to be quiet but he was doing everything he could to keep his anger down, so I did what I do best.

I knocked on the damn window with the biggest grin I had as his eyes snapped up at me and he glared. I stood there, looking at the back of her head while I heard him speak to her.

“Why the f**k is he here?” he said.

“He’s friends with everyone here too.”

“Are you sure he isn’t here to see you?”

“We’re not even close. Never were.” And her words hit me right in the chest.

“Bullshit.” He mumbled and then he rolled down the window, “What do you want?”

“Nothing.” I shrugged, “I just wanted to say hi and see if Ollie was coming inside, but I see she’s…occupied.” I said as I looked at their hands, linked, “But it’s all good, I can see she’s good. I mean, it’s not like we are close or anything, never have been. It’s like I never even knew her…” And with that being the last word to him, I walked away and into the house,my own words hurting my chest.

I walked right by everyone, not saying hi, went to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of whisky and went right to the backyard so I could think in peace. I heard people calling me. I heard Sawyer yell my name and try to get my attention. Ava was trying to get me to turn around by bribing me with food and drinks even though I had a bottle in my hand. Finn and Art were told to stay back by Aiden…smart man.

I needed to be alone because f**k…she knows how to hurt me right in the damn chest.

Chug after chug, it burned my throat and then I heard the backdoor open.

“What the hell happened in the point five seconds you were here to make you already be halfway through the bottle?” Aiden laughed as he snatched it from me and took a couple of shots himself, “You’re supposed to be inside with all of us.”

“I just…I can’t shake it.” I said, taking the bottle back.

“Can’t shake what?”

“Him. Why is she with him? Fucker.”

“You know, I would understand a hell of a lot more if you told me what the hell happened between you both.”

“We don’t even have enough time for that or enough whisky.”

He stood up and, without a word, went inside. All the while my thoughts kept going back to last night. Fifteen minutes later and a huge ache in my c**k I’ll have to take care of later, Aiden came back outside, pulled me to my feet while holding two bottles of Jack.

“Let’s go.”

“Where are we going?”

“We’re walking home and you’re going to tell me everything.”

“But what about everyone here?”

He shrugged, “Took care of it. I have breakfast planned with Sawyer, Miles, Ava, Ivy and Art so right now, it’s you and I. Now come on and spill your fuckin’ guts to me.”

“Where do I even start?” I mumbled as we started to take a long walk back to our house.

“How about the beginning?” and that was the longest walk back home we ever had.