Fortress Island Series 1: Alejandro, Love Just Ain't Enough

NINETEEN: Someone

Someone

I slid my face against the pillow, feeling its the warmth and softness. I planned to sleep all day but something warm woke me up. I cracked an eye open and look at the sleeping figure beside me.

Napangiti ako. Dahil bukas ang ilaw ng lampshade, naaninag ko ang mukha ng lalake. Alejandro doesn’t have an ugly angle. It should be illegal to have a beautiful face like his. Partida, hindi pa yan nag-aayos sa lagay na yan.

“Why so handsome, Ser.” I whispered.

We were still naked under the sheets pero lahat ng hiya na meron ako ay nilipad na ng hangin kagabi. Kumagat-labi ako nang inalala ang nangyari. Oh my god, did it really happen? Did I really ride him? I was probably a cowboy in my past life. I bit my inside cheek to stop myself from squirming like a giddy teenager.

Alejandro was sleeping peacefully. I carefully scooted closer to him and kissed his cheek. I glanced at the clock. Alas kwatro pa lang ng madaling-araw. Naghikab ako at panatag na umunan sa kanyang balikat, ang isang braso ko ay nakayakap sa kanyang tiyan. Hmm…I really wanted to be this close to him. Even though my body is sore and aching, I am happy. I am happy knowing that Alejandro is my first.

Hinihila na ako pabalik sa dreamland nang biglang may kumuha sa kamay kong nakalapat sa kanyang tiyan at basta na lamang ibinaba para ipatong sa naninigas na bagay doon.

Agad na nanlaki ang mata ako at bahagyang inangat ang kalahati ng katawan. Alejandro chuckled when he saw me panicking. Ang harot talaga kahit kailan!

“Ale!” I shrieked in a reprimanding tone. I pulled my hand from his hold and pinched his side. “Napaka mo talaga.”

“I was sleeping but I felt your eyes gawking at me, baby. Can’t get enough of me?” He gave me a playful smile.

Umirap ako sa kanya. “I was just checking if you’re still breathing.” Sarkastiko kong sagot.

Kumilos ito at tumagilid para nakaharap ito sa akin. His eyes were shimmering. “Really? I thought I heard you say I’m handsome.”

“Hahaha! You wish.” Naibulalas ko ba talaga yun?

“Are you sure?”

“I am sure.”

“That I am handsome?”

“Sure na sure—what? No! I mean, yes! Hay naku! Ewan ko sa’yo, Ale. Aga-aga pinagtri-tripan mo na naman ako.”

“Do you want to have another trip?” Nagtaas-kilay ito, but his smirk was giving me signal that he’s going to piss the hell out of me.

“What trip are you talking about?” Tanong ko.

“Trip to heaven.” He wiggled his eyebrows kasabay ng pagkagat niya sa kanyang ibabang labi.

Sa sinabi niya ay agad na namula ako. “Puro ka na naman kalokohan.”

He draped his one arm over my stomach and pulled me gently to his side. Utomatikong napaunan ako sa kanyang balikat. I felt him kiss the top of my head. “How are you feeling?”

“I am aching everywhere.” I answered honestly.

“I wish I could carry you to the bathroom. I would have bathed you myself to ease the tension of your body.” He sighed deeply.

I pouted. Ayan na naman siya sa pag-se-self pity niya. “Why would you do that when I can walk? I am not a princess.”

“I want to treat you like one.”

Ngumuso ulit ako sa pagiging honest niya. Hinalikan ko ang kanyang leeg. “We can take a shower together thou.”

“I would love to.” I felt him relax as he cuddled me closer to his body.

I splayed my hand on his chest. “You can go back to sleep now, Ale. Sleepy na rin ako. Sorry if I disturbed you. Di pa rin ako sanay na nagigisnan ka paggising ko.”

“This is nice.” He said.

“Ang alin.”

“To wake up beside you. Last night you took me to heaven, Bea. And now that I woke up beside you, parang dinala mo na ulit ako doon. It feels nice waking up beside you. It feels nice cuddling you and kissing you whenever I want to. It feels nice just by looking at those eyes because you ease the fear I have inside. I never felt so alive, Bea.” He whispered in a breathy tone.

I smiled as I moved my hand to touch his cheek. “Aren’t you being sweet, Alejandro Salvatore?” I teased.

He pouted. He stared at me with gentle gazes at tila matutunaw na naman ang puso ko sa mga titig niyang iyon. “Oh baby. You are messing my head again.”

“Uhm. Can we be specific, Ser? Which head I am messing with?” Pilya kong sagot.

He grumbled and shut his eyes. “f**k. Let me play your hole with my fingers.”

“What?!”

Alejandro’s hand was so fast. Mabilis itong nakababa sa katawan ko. I instantly melted when I felt him touching me there. “You’re wet, baby. Hmm… I love this.”

“Ale….” I gasped. Instead of stopping him, I invited his hand by spreading my legs apart. Alejandro inserted one finger and I whimpered.

“That went in easily.” Panunukso nito.

“You are such a…..oh…” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence because Alejandro started to pump his finger in and out on me.

“Come here closer, baby. I need to kiss those lips.” He said breathlessly.

Agad namang inangat ko ang mukha ko at inilapit sa kanya. Nakalabas na ang kanyang dila so I met his tongue with mine. I moaned when the familiar heat starting to build up in my system. Oh god, just one touch from this man and I am already burning. How could this be possible.

“Can I touch you too?” I asked between our kisses.

“Touch me anywhere, Bea. I am all yours.”

And just like that, I started touching his manhood, sliding my hand up and down against his hardness. While he continued fingering me, I was busy pumping on his too.

Sa bawat galaw ng mga kamay at daliri namin, sumasabay ang aming mabilis na paghinga. Napapapikit ako. “I’m close.”

“So am I, baby. So am I.” His strained voice was so sexy in my ears.

Few seconds later until we both trembled from the wave of orgasm. He kissed me as he leaned his forehead against mine.

“What just happened? I was just staring at your sleeping form awhile ago! Why did we ended up like this.” Reklamo ko.

He laughed, kissing me on the cheek. “Now you have a reason to go back to sleep.”

“Talaga! At matutulog ako buong araw!” I whined.

“It’s okay. I will be sucking your breasts while you’re sleeping. I am sure hindi ka pa rin magigising niyan.”

“Pervert.”

“Miraculous vir—opps, virgin no more.” He smirked lopsidedly.

“Tuwang-tuwa ka naman.” Ani ko kasabay ng pagbaon ng mukha ko sa kanyang kili-kili. Now I am dead tired. When I say I am going to sleep all day, I mean it.

“I am the happiest when I am with you.” The sincerity of his voice sent shivers up my arms. Aissht. This man.

“Shhhh…Matulog na tayo. Madilim pa sa labas.”

Hindi na ito sumagot at humalik lang din sa aking noo. I kissed his bare chest at tuluyang ipinikit ang mga mata. I am very much happy and contented of what we have right now. If only it’s possible to wake up beside him for the rest of my life, wala na siguro akong hihilingin pa.

**********

Bumalik na kami sa isla kinabukasan. Wala rin namang saysay kung mananatili ako sa sentro ng isa pang araw gayung wala naman akong pasok sa bar sa gabi dahil nga binayaran na ni Ale.

Hindi ako sang-ayon sa ginawa niya pero every time I brought up that topic, sinusungitan ako nito. Sabagay, kung hindi nga naman siya dumating sa bar ng gabing iyon, I would have probably collaped in front of the audience. Ginapang ko lang talaga ang ilang oras na iyon pero ang totoo ay bibigay na ang katawan ko.

Pero ewan ko ba, nakakapagtaka na nang magpakita si Ale at nakasama ko na siya ay tila sumigla ulit ang aking katawan. In fact, that night, I was able to give myself to him.

But gosh, hanggang ngayon, kahit ilang araw na ang nakalipas ay masakit pa rin ang katawan ko. Well, hindi naman na masakit na masakit, pero I could still feel him buried inside me. Buti na lang at hindi nangungulit si Alejandro sa gabi. We would just cuddle and kiss until we both fell asleep.

At dahil may absent na isang araw si Ale from his therapy session, ngayong Thursday ay kailangan niya ulit bumalik sa Maynila.

I was packing few of his things na dadalhin doon dahil ayaw niya magsuot ng hospital gown.

“Ayaw mong sumama sa akin sa Manila, Bea?” Tanong nito habang nakatingin lamang sa aking ginagawa.

“Gusto mo ba? Kaso nakaabsent na ako sa bar, Ale. Kapag umabsent na naman ako this week, baka matanggalan ako ng raket doon. That bar is close to my heart dahil ilang taon na rin akong kumakanta doon.”

“Hmm. I understand.” He answered plainly. Tumigil ako sa aking ginagawa at nilingon ito. He was facing towards the huge window, his back facing me.

Tumayo ako at lumapit sa kanya. I blocked his view by sitting on his lap. Marahan kong sinuklay ang kanyang buhok gamit ang aking mga daliri.

“Are you sulking again?”

He shook his head, avoiding my eyes. I huffed and reached for his face. I started kissing him all over. “Wag na magtampo. I can’t depend on you all the time, Ale. Yung sweldo ko, sobra-sobra na nga yun dahil magaan na lang ngayon ang trabaho ko. You are not throwing tantrums anymore. Hindi ka na mahirap alagaan.” I breathe. “Ang point ko, alam naman nating aalis at aalis ako sa isla di ba? Pasukan na sa susunod na buwan, in fact, mag-eenroll na ako sa Sabado kaya di talaga kita masasamahan.”

“Can’t you stay with me? We can opt for online class, baby. I will guide you. I will be your tutor if you need to. I will shoulder all the expenses. I’ll provide anything that you need for study. Just… stay in the island and be with me.” He said, looking at me with hopeful eyes.

Bumuntong-hininga ako. “That won’t work for me, Alejandro. The least that I can do is to clear my weekends. I will visit you during those days. I promise I will update you everyday, Ale.”

“I thought you cared for me.”

“I care for you more than you can imagine, Ale. I love you, you know that.”

“Then stay with me.”

Umiling ako. “But…. living in the island is not for me. I have dreams I want to reach, Alejandro. Hindi ko kayang tanggapin ang kung anuman ang iniaalok mo. Are you planning on keeping me here, like foever? Wala ka talagang planong magpakita sa mga tao? Sa mga kaibigan mo? Acquaintances? Wala kang planong bumalik sa dating ikaw?”

“Hindi ko na maibabalik ang dating ako, Bea. Even this stupid therapy session is just a waste of time. I told you, there is no chance na makakalakad ulit ako. Pinagbibigyan ko lang sila Mama dahil alam kong ito rin ang gusto mo.” He gritted his teeth and looked at me with pained eyes.

“Takot kang magpakita sa mga tao? Hindi lang naman ikaw ang may ganyang kalagayan, Alejandro? And how about the deal you have with your father? Kahit wala akong maintindihan sa usapan nyong yun, alam kong gusto niyang bumalik ka sa dating ikaw. Babaliin mo ba ang kasunduang iyon? You are getting there, Ale. See? You even managed to go to the bar. Kaya mo. Kayang-kaya mong bumalik sa dating ikaw. Wala ka namang dapat ikahiya sa kalagayan mo. Talikuran ka naman ng buong mundo, ngunit hinding-hindi ako tatalikod sa’yo.”

Alejandro averted his eyes to look away. He swallowed hard. “About that deal…”

Mabilis akong umalis sa kanyang kandungan nang may kumatok sa pinto. I glanced at Alejandro, but he refused to look back at me. Nilukob ng lungkot ang dibdib ko.

Binuksan ko ang pinto ng kanyang silid. Alejandro’s parents are standing outside. “Good morning, Senyor, Senyora.”

Good morning, hija.” Bati ng ama ni Ale.

Senyora ignored me and his sight went straight to Alejandro. “Are you ready, anak?”

Tumikhim ako. “I’m almost done packing Sir Alejandro’s things, Senyora.”

She looked at me momentarily. “I see.”

“Sa baba nyo na lang ako hintayin Pa, Ma. I’ll be ready in a minute.” Sagot ni Alejandro na hindi nililingon ang magulang.

“Okay anak.” Suminghap ng malalim si Senyora bago ako tinignan mula ulo hanggang paa. Pagsara ko sa pinto ay saka pa lang ako umiling. Ang layo-layo ng awrahan niya noong unang beses na nakita at naka-usap ko ito.

Bumalik ako sa kama ni Ale para tapusin ang naunsiyami kong ginagawa kanina. Bakit ba tuwing umaalis ito pa-Manila ay lagi na lamang kaming may tampuhan o di pagkakaunawaan.

“Baby.”

Nag-angat ako ng tingin. He called me baby. mukhang hindi masama ang loob nito sa akin.

“Yes?”

“Come here.”

Tinapos kong tupiin ang huling T-shirt nito at nilagay sa maliit na traveling bag. I zipped it at pinatayo sa gilid ng pinto pagkatapos ay lumapit ako sa kanyang pwesto.

Naka-angat na ang kanyang mga braso kaya walang pag-alinlangan akong pumaloob doon kasabay ng pag-upo ko sa kanyang kandungan.

“Ayokong maghiwalay tayo na may hindi pagkakaunawaan.” Ani nito.

“Hindi naman masama ang loob ko, Ale. Ikaw nga itong baka nagtatampo dahil sa pagsalungat ko sa kahilingan mo.”

“I know I am being selfish, but I can’t help it. You’ll be back to your normal life at ako ay mananatili pa rin kung saan mo ako iiwan. I am full of insecurity and uncertainty, Bea. Paano kung may makilala kang mas higit pa sa akin? Yung kayang ibigay ang mga bagay na hindi ko kaya dahil sa kapansanan ko.

Hay. Ang lalakeng to talaga kahit kailan. Hindi pa rin ba nito nakukuha ang nais kong ipadama sa kanya?

“Are you questioning my love for you, Alejandro? I gave myself to you. Kung sa’yo balewala yun, pero sa akin hindi. That night was a huge deal for me, Ale.”

He kissed my temple. “I know.”

“You know? Then why are we being cold again, Ser? Can’t you say something nice bago ka man lang umalis pa-Manila?”

“Say something nice? Katulad ng?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. How about saying sweet words again.”

“Like?”

“Like I mean the world to you, something like that.” Sagot ko pa.

“Done. You mean the world to me.” He said flatly, may naglalarong ngisi sa kanyang mga labi. Pinanlakihan ko ito ng mata. He’s not being serious!

“Ewan ko sa’yo. Bumaba na nga tayo. Mamaya akyatin na naman tayo ng magulang mo baka ano ang isipin ng mga yun sa atin.” I was about to move away from him, but Alejandro snaked his arm around my waist, holding me in place.

He dipped down and kissed me passionately. Saglit lamang iyon bago nito ilapat ang noo sa akin. His deep, tantalizing eyes met mine. “You mean the world to me, Bea. No peudo vivir sin ti.” He whispered huskily.

“What does it mean?” I asked while I stroke his cheek with my thumb.

“I can’t live without you. I don’t know what to do without you, baby. Whatever you will learn about me in the future, I hope your feelings won’t change.”

“It won’t. My heart belongs to you. Hindi na iyon magbabago.”

He smiled at me and I smiled back at him.

*********

Nang makaalis si Alejandro ay inabala kong linisin ang buong pad nito.  Bandang alas sais ng gabi nang matapos akong magligpit. Doon ako sa bahay namin sa baryo matutulog at hindi dito. Hindi dahil ipinagbabawal, but I’d much prefer to stay there while Alejandro is not around. At least kung sa baryo man, andun ang pinsan ko at kahit paano ay may kahuntahan ako.

Nasa baba na ako para sana makauwi na nang masalubong ko ang Senyora. Nagulat pa ako nang makita ko ito dahil buong akala ko ay kasama itong umalis ni Alejandro kaninang umaga.

“Going home?” She asked.

Magalang na tumango ako. “Opo.”

Tila nag-isip ito saka nagsalita ulit. “Gusto mo bang sumama sa akin sa Manila? I am about to head to Puerto Princesa. The private plane will take off one hour from now.”

“Po? Uhm.” Bakit niya ako inaaya? Nag-iba ata ang ihip ng hangin sa side na’to.

“Don’t worry, kung nag-aalala ka sa trabaho mo sa bar, sumabay ka sa akin pabalik dito. Sabado rin kasi ang balik ko dito dahil may gagawin akong ibang bagay. Nga pala, nakumbinsi mo na ang anak ko para sa plano ko sa kanyang kaarawan? Sa susunod na Linggo na iyon, Bea.”

Damn. Nawala din sa isip ko. “Babanggitin ko po sa kanya pagbalik po niya galing Maynila.”

“Then perfect! Sumama ka nalang sa akin at doon mo nalang sa Manila banggitin ang plano natin.” She smiled at me, ngunit hindi ko mawari kung genuine ba iyon o hindi.

Alanganin akong ngumiti sa Senyora at nasumpungan na lamang ang sariling tumatango. “Okay po.”

Parang nakalutang ang isipan ko habang nasa biyahe kami. Sa private yacht ay halos nasa magkabilaang dulo kami ng Senyora. Hindi ito kailanman nagsalita o walang balak na kausapin ako sa durasyon ng biyahe.

Sa private plane, kahit gusto kong magsabi ng magagandang salita dahil sobrang nalulula ako sa ganda at karangyaan ng pamilya ni Alejandro, hindi ko magawa dahil sa mukha ni Senyora na walang emosyon.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pakay nito sa akin. gusto ba nitong ipamukha sa akin ang realidad kung gaano kalaki ang agwat ng mga buhay namin? Kung sila ay higante, ako ay isang langgam lamang. Alam ko naman iyon, hindi ako tanga para magbulag-bulagan. I know where I stand. But I will not let the status of our life speaks for what is right and wrong for me. I will not let my poverty invalidates my true feelings for Alejandro.

In love, there is no rich and poor. Only two hearts beating as one.

**********

I wanted to infrom Alejandro that I will be arriving, but I’ve been calling his phone and it just kept on ringing. Ano kaya ang magiging reaksyon nito kapag nalaman nitong andito ako sa Manila? Kanina habang nasa himpapawid, namangha ako sa nagkikislapang ilaw ng Metro Manila. First time kong makaapak sa capital ng bansa kaya hiindi ko maiwasang ma-excite. Senyora side-eyed me kaya pumirmi nalang ulit ako sa upuan.

“Bea, go straight to the corridor. Muna ka dahil dadaan pa ako sa doctor’s office ng anak ko. Ang pinakadulong pintuan ay ang kwarto ni Alejandro. Kakatapos lang ng general check-up nito kaya malamang ay nagpapahinga ito sa ganitong oras. Please be discreet. Bawal ang maingay sa VIP.” Ani ni Senyora.

I almost rolled my eyes at her. Kung hindi ko lang talaga mahal ang anak nito, tinrayan ko na rin ito.

I nodded like a respectful woman that I am. “Yes, Senyora.”

Hindi ko na hinintay pang sumagot ito at basta na lamang ako nagpatiuna sa paglalakad. Kumaliwa ito. Siguro ay doon ang daan patungo sa doctor’s office. Diretso lang daw di ba? Dulong pintuan?

Mahaba ang corridor pero dalawang pintuan pa lang ang nadaanan ko. Gaano ba kalawak ang mga VIP rooms? Ikatlo at panghuling pintuan ay tumigil ako. Siguro ay ito na nga. Wala na kasing ibang pintuan pa eh.

Suminghap ako ng malalim. Excited ako sa maaring reaksiyon ni Ale. Paniguradong magugulat ito at matutulala ng ilang minuto. Iisipin sigurong bunga lang ako ng kanyang imahinasyon.

Hawak ang doorknob ay maingat na pinihit ko iyon. Dahan-dahan ko itong tinulak para hindi makagawa ng ingay. Baka kasi natutulog si Ale ngayon. Sigurado akong pagod ito buong araw.

My heart constricted by the sight of him. I was expecting him to be lying in the bed, but I was wrong. Alejandro was sitting right now and he’s smiling brightly…at someone. That someone is sitting beside him. A beautiful girl at that. His head was securely placed on her shoulder, one arm wrapped across her stomach. He looked happy and contented. The same looks I always see in him when he’s with me.

My hand on the door handle trembled. Both seemed busy with their deep conversation that they were not even aware someone was watching them.

Marahan kong nilapat pasara ang pinto pabalik. There’s no point barging in. Alejandro was not lonely as I thought he would be. What is the whole point of being here? Can I just go back to the island now?