The Assassin's Weakness

Chapter 3

Paityn's POV:

    I managed to get back to the office by 2:30.  The first place I went was to get a pair of shoes.  This time without a heel.  I just didn't feel like getting anything fancy and I wasn't really in the mood anymore to bother with heels.  Besides, the ones with some height to them cost more and I didn't want to spend that much on them.  I quickly walked past everyone, trying to be quiet and look as if I've been there all day when I really haven't.

    "Paityn!"  I heard Catherine calling me when I got close to my desk.

    I rolled my eyes and put my purse in my drawer and walked around the desk to go to her office.

    "Yes, ma'am,"  I said to her when I got to her opened door and she looked up at me.

    "What took you so long?  I have all of these cases here that need to be filed and this stack over here needs to be gone through and sorted and new packets need to get made up for the new clients."  She said.

    "I'm sorry,  When I got to the office, they had already left for the courthouse so I...."  I was explaining to her when she cut me off with a raise of her hand.

    "I didn't say to go to their office."  She said to me in irritation.

    "But you said...."  I tried to say.

    "Ah, no I didn't.  I told you to take them to the courthouse because that was where they were going to be at."  She said to me and looked me over.

    "Where's my mocha?"  She asked.

    "s**t,"  I cussed to myself in disappointment, hoping that she wouldn't have heard me.

    "Well, I guess that means you're walking across the street and getting me one now then."  She said while crossing her arms over her chest.

    "Get it yourself,"  I mumbled to myself and she leaned forward quickly.

    "What was that?"  She snapped at me in anger.

    "Ah, yes ma'am."  I quickly said and turned on my heels and headed out of the door before she could yell at me again.

    "Oh and Paityn?"  She called after me and I slowly turned around to look at her again.

    "Yes?"

    "Don't forget my sandwich this time and also, I will put all these files on your desk.  They will be done before you leave tonight along with 20 packets for the new clients."  She said to me and I just nodded.

    I sighed in anger with myself and turned around and grabbed my purse out of my drawer and slammed it shut.  I walked through the cubicles and couldn't help a few eyes from watching me.  No one dares to speak when Catherine is in her office.  I am apparently the only one here without a brain because I'm always opening my big mouth and getting myself into trouble.  It's a miracle she hasn't fired me yet but I'm starting to think she enjoys yelling at me.  I think she would yell at everyone else more if I wasn't here for her to release her venom on each day.

    Once I had her mocha and sandwich I took them back to her office but she wasn't in there.  I just set them down on her desk and walked out.  I wouldn't be surprised if I got in trouble because, by the time she got back, her mocha was cold.  She should just get an iced mocha but then she will just yell at me for the ice melting.

    It took me hours to get all of those files organized and then filed away.  Not to mention the hours it took to get that many new packets done.  I ran out of staples, I had to make more copies, add all the stupid little business cards to each one along with making sure they all had the pamphlets that were required.  It didn't help any that all I could think about was that mysterious man that I ran into today.  I tried to get him out of my mind over and over but he kept popping back in.  The scent of his cologne, even though I could still smell the cigarettes, the sound of his voice, the way he kissed.  Everything about him kept popping back into my head including the way he looked with all of his tattoos, his scar, and piercings. 

    I wanted him out of my head.  The more I thought about him the more I felt like I was cheating on my husband and the thought of that sickened me.  I'm not the cheating kind and I never want to be that kind.  The only way I could think of to get him out of my head was to confess my sins.  I needed to anyway because I did kiss him and unfortunately I did like it to a point and all of that is a sin that needs to be cleansed away.

    By the time I was done, everyone had left for the night, including Catherine, and the sun had gone down about an hour ago now that the days are getting shorter.  I put the finished packets on her desk and walked out, closing and locking the door behind me.  I was feeling exhausted.

    I stepped out in the chilled air of the beginning of October.  Winter will be setting in soon but the days are still pretty nice yet that you don't need a coat.  That's the one thing that I don't like about New York, the cold winters.  They can get pretty nasty at times.  I grew up in Virginia but came here for college and that's when I met Isaiah.  We fell in love, had a small wedding, and got a place in Manhattan which also happens to be where this office is located at.

    Neither of us have cars because, really, who needs one when you live here.  There are buses, subways, taxis.  There's no need to spend the money on a car.  Most of the time I get here by taking a taxi but occasionally I will take the subway station.  I couldn't stop myself from looking around, thinking that man was still here, watching me.  The thought of him watching me excited the adventurous part of me but it also scared me to the core.  I still feel that he is someone really dangerous and someone that I need to stay away from.  I quickly got into the cab and told him where to take me.

    We pulled up to the church, the faint lights from within were visible through the stained glass windows.   It wasn't super late even though the sun was down so I knew the Father would still be in. 

    "Wait for me please, I won't be long,"  I asked the driver and he just nodded and waved his hand for me to go.

    I nodded and then walked up the many steps to the doors of the cathedral.  I walked in as I have done many times before, walked through the sanctuary and knelt down before the cross, and made the motion of a cross over my heart.  I got up and walked over to one of the confession booths and sat down.

    The Father must have seen me because just a few minutes later the door opened in the other booth and he sat down.  The window cover was opened on his side, signaling to me that he was ready for me to begin.  My heart felt heavy and I was nervous.  Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.  I made the cross over my heart again before I began.

    "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."  I started off.

    "How long since your last confession?"  He asked me and I turned to look through the window but because of the screen, I couldn't see who was on the other side.

    The voice sounded different to me than before but I do know that he does have others who help with confessions so maybe it was one of them.  The thing is, the deep voice sounded familiar to me for some reason, I just couldn't place where I have heard it.

    "One week since my last confession,"  I answered him and he stayed silent.

    The Father usually assists me with my confessions but since this isn't him maybe he wants me to try it on my own.

    "I believe I committed adultery but I'm not sure,"  I told him feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

    "What makes you think you did?"  I heard him ask, causing me to tune into his voice again because it sounded so familiar.

    I tried again to look in but I just couldn't see enough through the screen to see who was on the other side.  Even the way he spoke seemed familiar and not at all the way Father talks.

    "A man kissed me."  I blurted out and gasped, covering my mouth with my hand.

    "Did you kiss him back?"  He asked and I nodded, realizing then that he couldn't see me and I have to speak my confessions, not think them.

    "Yes!"  I said and felt my lip tremble as the emotions started to creep back up.

    "Did you like the kiss?"  He asked me and I just stared off into the distance.

    Well, not really, there was a closed-door in front of me and it was fairly dark so I couldn't really see anything.

    "I did.  I didn't want it to stop.  But then I came back to the reality of the fact that I was married and that this was wrong."  I told him and took a deep breath and let it out.

    I felt much better now that I got that off of my chest so I felt it was time to conclude my confession.

    "For these sins, and those I truly do not remember, I ask for forgiveness and advice."  I finished off with but he didn't say anything.

    I looked again at the screen and I swear I could see him looking at me too.  I squinted my eyes to try to see him but I just couldn't.

    "Aren't you going to say the prayer of sorrow?"  I asked when he wasn't saying anything.

    "Ah, sure.  Why don't you start."  He said and I just felt uneasy about all of this all of a sudden.

    The way he spoke just didn't sound right to me but I started the prayer anyway and I could hear him talking too but not loud enough for me to hear if he was even saying the same words.  He almost sounded like he was mumbling.  Once the prayer was done I sat there and waited for him to say the words of absolution so my sins could be forgiven but he didn't say anything.  I waited for several minutes and when nothing happened, I just lowered my head and said it to myself, hoping that would work.

    Once I was done I quickly stepped out of the booth and was tempted to open his side of the booth to see who it was but I chose not to.  I hesitated but then just tightened my hold on my purse and walked quickly out of the church.  I felt better that I said this out loud but that confession didn't feel right.  It wasn't real and wasn't done the way Father always does it.  I may have to complain to him about who he is certifying to help with confessions.

    I quickly headed out of the church and down the steps.  The cab was still sitting there waiting for me like I had asked.  I rubbed my arms to try to warm up a bit right before I got into the cab.  I gave him my house address and he started down the road.  I looked back at the church and saw a dark figure walking out of the church and down the steps.  I don't recall anyone else sitting in the sanctuary.  I turned back around and just thought about the figure that I just saw.

    I couldn't really tell from where I was sitting when they walked out if they were male or female.  They appeared rather tall but even that I wasn't sure of.

    About twenty minutes later we finally pulled up to my apartment building.  We are on the seventh floor but for now, that was fine but I told Isaiah I would like to eventually move.  There is an elevator but I tend to take the stairs for exercise.  I like to think that's why my butt is more round and firm instead of flat.  It's a gated community but still not the most expensive out there.  All it really means is there's a gate out front and if you don't have a key to the main door you have to be buzzed in.  It's the second place we have lived in since we got married and it is at least a step up from the first place.  It's just so expensive to live in this town.  Back home in Virginia, we could have a two-story house for the amount of money we pay a month in rent for this place and it isn't half as nice or big.

    I made my way to our apartment and unlocked the door.  The lights were all off so I shut the door softly. I set my purse down on the counter and took my shoes off and tossed them over by the door.  I turned on the light and walked over and grabbed a glass and then grabbed some ice cream and some milk.  I scooped several scoops of ice cream into the glass and poured some milk into it.  I took a long spoon and started to chop the ice cream carefully and stirred it, slowly making it into a milkshake.

    "Rough day?"  I heard Isaiah's voice and jumped.

    "You scared me,"  I said trying to catch my breath.

    He walked over and gave me a kiss on my cheek from behind and pulled me into his body.

    "Why do you think I had a bad day?"  I asked him as he gave me another kiss under my jaw.

    "Because you always make the biggest shake you can fit in the glass when you have a bad day."  He chuckled and nibbled on my ear.

    "Yes, it was horrible.  I swear one of these times Catherine is going to fire me."  I told him and took a drink of my shake.

    "You need to just quit.  I can support you now.  There's no reason why you should put up with the stress there.  Remember what the doctor said, you need to find ways to calm yourself.  That you're too stressed and if one day we want to try for children it could cause some difficulties."  He reminded me.

    "I know what the doctor said,  I was there remember?"  I told him and pulled away and walked around the counter.

    "Then why aren't you trying to at least look for a different job then or consider just staying home?"  He asked me.

    I hated it when this conversation got started because we always fight about it.  This conversation is becoming a reoccurring conversation and all it does is make us so angry at each other that one of us always ends up sleeping on the couch, usually him.

    "Because if they were to expand I could try for her position in a different office or if she were to leave I could try at this one.  You don't need as much legal knowledge as a paralegal does for her job.  I practically do everything for her now.  I don't want to start over somewhere else."  I explained to him again as I have done so many times now but he just doesn't seem to listen.

    "That place is going to work you to death!  I just want you out of there.  Stay home for a bit so you can relax, maybe have a few babies, and...."  He said bringing up the subject of children again.

    "Isaiah, you know I want children someday but not right now.  I'm only 24 years old.  I want to experience life a little before getting tied down by children."  I told him again, no longer in the mood for my shake so I walked over and dumped it in the sink, and rinsed out the glass.

    "Experience life?  By working with that Catherine?  What did she have you do today?  Did you have to stamp all of her letters with her signature?  How many lite mochas did you have to get from across the street?  What about rearranging her office huh?  When are you going to see that you don't do what you went to college for?  You haven't since she took over!"  He insisted and raised his voice at me.

    "Oh, so we are going to play the 'Not what you went to college for' card again?  Come on Isaiah, we both know that I didn't exactly go to college to be a lawyer because I didn't and still don't have the brain for it!  I'm not like you and went for an actual degree in business and moving up in your job at a corporate office!"  I snapped at him.

    He was getting ready to say something back but I just cut him off.

    "What is it with you anyway and wanting me to stay home so bad?  It's not like there would be anything for me to do?   You're never home either and always working.  I would go more crazy sitting here doing nothing than going to work with that nutbag!" 

    "Because women need to be home taking care of the house, cooking the food, and raising the children!"  He finally spilled the truth.

    "Seriously!  Are we really back in those times?  While we're at it, why don't we just go back south and work on a cotton farm and become slaves like our ancestors since you feel that this is the life I should have!"  I shouted at him and started to walk towards the bedroom.

    I was sick of this conversation and I was tired, grumpy, and had a crappy day to begin with, and just wanted to go to bed.

    "Paityn, you know that isn't what I meant now let's talk about this."  He tried saying.

    "No!  I'm tired of this conversation Isaiah!  It's always the same!  You want me home, in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.  Well, that isn't going to happen!"  I yelled at him and turned around and stormed into the bedroom and he followed.

    "No!  Just stay out there and sleep on the couch!"  I yelled at him and he just gave up and walked out of the room.

    I walked into the bathroom and locked the door.  I turned the shower on and undressed.  I stepped into the shower and the moment the water hit me I started to cry.  I hate it when we fight and it seems to be happening all the time anymore.  Maybe it's a stupid thing to fight about but I don't want to have to rely on him to support me.  I don't want to lose that.  I also don't want to be that wife who is always alone with kids and cooking dinner each night for a husband that comes home late.  Sometimes it feels that our marriage would be better if I just quit this job but at the same time, I feel that something else will just happen and we will start fighting over that.  Almost as if it won't matter, there will always be something that seems to pull us apart farther.